Dec 08 Mums - Happy New Thread, You Beauties!

[beans37]

Come join me....

Yeah. It's so horrible having to get back into the school routine.

Oh my gosh I am still so ill. This is the worse cough/cold ever: coughing, wheezing, snotting to a degree I have never experienced in my life. I cannot breath. Arrrgghhhh. Struggling into work yesterday was huge mistake, am back in bed today.

Is Veg in LA now? Hope you are having fun Veg!

I think we are going to renovate our loft so we can have a live-in au pair when I return to work after DC3. It will cost £11k but we'd save the back on child care in under a year. Not sure how I feel about living with a stranger though.

Just dashing on for now - Arti, I am sorry you are still so ill! If you need some pads I am happy to buy some and post them to you in brown paper with a couple of magazines! 11k is quite cheap for a loft conversion, have you got a quote? I think living with a stranger would be very hard at first. But I DO think you would get used to it. I think the pros would probably outweigh the cons.

As to boredom after hard term....erm.....I don't want to sound like a berk but I am without the boredom gene (too much to read/write/listen to etc etc! Places to go, people to see...Well, I think I AM sounding like a berk) But I do find washing and housework a serious drag. One of the major peeves of my life is that I haven't got a cleaner/someone to help with the endless washing PURGATORY that we discussed last week.

Oh, to go back to your milk question, Arti, I am still carb limiting (I basically try to avoid them except as a treat, like a baked spud once a fortnight, wine now and then, stuff like that) but I do reckon a litre of semi a day is too much.

Kayz - I know how hard it is to lose weight especially if you feel you have a harder target. That 5:2 diet is everywhere and it's supposed to be good for your general health. Would you consider doing that to get some quick results? I'm still mulling it over - with all that milky coffee I would have to have two days a week on practically nothing but coffee and I'm not quite sure about that yet!

Awww, thanks for the heroic offer of pads LadyT, the old pelvic floor is actually behaving a little better. As long as I cross my legs before I sneeze or cough I can stop any unfortunate incidents. Although the leg crossing is rather obvious and embarrassing. I think I will look at surgery after this birth, I remember someone on this thread (who was it???) had that surgery shortly after birth and raved about it.

The loft work would not be a conversion, our loft is converted but very badly done. We would need to knock down the bathroom, rebuild it on the other side of the room and add a couple of sky lights to introduce some light. We have had a couple of quotes. The only downside is there is no room for a shower up there, we could add a nice bath but the reduced ceiling height in the bathroom area prohibits a shower. DH thinks this will be off putting for au pairs who usually come from countries where baths are sneered at. I hope it won't be a big issue, they would be getting a lovely big bedroom with a brand new en suite.

I'm listing lots of kids clothes on eBay. Its so time consuming and dull but exciting when you see the money coming in.

Arti as an ex live in nanny. Am more than happy tri give you a few pointers about the pros and cons from my side. If that helps.

That would be great Jam. I am currently torn between a live-in au pair and a live-in nanny. An au pair could not have sole charge of the baby so would need to be combined with a childminder but might still be teacher. Its the live-in element that worries me, sharing a kitchen etc. I have friends with au pairs and there seems a real mix between those who want to hangout with the family in the evenings and those who stay in their rooms or go out an socialise lots.

Arti I think as long as you make clear what you want then you should be fine. I never wanted to socialise with my employers as they were my employers not my friends.

Obviously the au pair over nanny thing comes down to money. Depends how much you want to spend.

I would suggest getting a small fridge a kettle and a microwave for her rm then she can be fairly self sufficient. But she will still use the kitchen. Also bear in mind that as a young girl or boy with a social life you will hear her/him coming in and out late at night.

Jam, I meant to say - I did sympathise when you came back and the house was a mess. DP is not doing anything at the moment. Admittedly I do understand that he is leaving early and getting home late but the weekends are now completely his own for a bit and so would really appreciate a hand. Worst is when I have been away, left the house tidyish, and it is not the same when I return. Grrrr. The words we have had about that.

Arti, I think it could have been Turnip who had that repair. But I am not completely certain.

Was not a very restful weekend - wall to wall guests, including some not very well behaved kids. 'Twas a little dispiriting. I am pretty tolerant of kids but I found these ones hard work.

Has anyone read Eat Pray Love? I saw the film and thought it was quite annoying (but a gorgeous travelogue, it looked fab). But it strikes me that the book I am trying to write is similar - 'finding yourself', over a year, through travel. Except I didn't take an entire year to go to Italy, India and Bali cos I didn't have the cash Additionally, I am not a self-indulgent, whiny Yank.

LadyT, I'm not too keen on the 5:2 diet while I'm still feeding DD. she feeds at least twice during the day and a few times at night. I'm not sure how it would affect my milk and everything seems to say not to do it.

That's probably right Kayz. I think Weight Watchers is BF friendly.

Jam - thanks for the kitchen in bedroom tips. What would you expect in your room as a live-in? Would a bath but no shower have bothered you? We were going to supply Wifi but no PC. A double bed. Little sofa and little TV (freeview only). Does that sound OK? Did you add items to weekly shopping list or just eat what the family bought?

Lady - I never read Eat P L but I heard it was schmaltzy. I know your book will not be schmaltzy! I'm looking forward to reading it. I suppose your late DH's book is a bit about finding himself through cricket combined with travel!

I think you are right, it was a Turnip who had the surgery at her lovely private hospital.

Just popping on quickly as only just back from New York today. I can vouch for Vag that she is having a fab trip as she messaged me about her fab flight to LA On that LA subject, 2 of my colleagues got invited to the Oscars after party!
I have had the kids today since I got back so I've been to the farm shop, cleaned the car dh drives (but I take when I work) inside and out (as it was gross) and cleaned the house all to prevent me wanting to sleep! Been up for 29 hours now, bar 1 hour in the bunks mid-Atlantic and I have my second wind!
Forgotten what I read except a few things so will have to come back. Matchsticks may be needed shortly....

Arti, Can you not make the loft the master and have the nanny elsewhere? I'd think it would be weird having her at the top but then again, I'm not one who could deal with anyone living in so what do I know.

Jam, I'm going to side with your dh and then run for cover ..... but that said, I'm convinced I haven't heard the full story? Were you on holiday? Didn't the cleaner cancel? I'd be pissed about the milk though, but probably not so much the house. Doesn't dh work a major amount not unlike mine? Again, I'm sure I've missed a big chunk of the story. Plus, I don't iron, and I have a robot vac

Must get kids tea on........

Welcome back Rubes, you must be shattered. Was it a very short trip or one of the slightly longer ones?

Kayz - I had clean forgot you are still bf. I am such a bozo. In which case - you should not be thinking about dieting right now! Shelve it for later!

Arti - I really believe in the redemptive power of travel - or just holidays, pure and simple - and I want to write about it But there is also the risk that I will come across a saddo, boring on about my midlife crisis The other thing is that there is so little contemporary travel writing by women. And next to none by mothers.

DD2 has been snoozing on the sofa for most of the day. I am hoping a virus isn't a-brewing. I was planning to take her to Tumblehell Tots tomorrow, then both of them to London on Thursday afternoon as I am meeting a friend in the evening and DP can take them home.

Oh I love travelling too LadyT. I spend about 25% of my waking life fantasising about where to go next. I drive DH crazy buying Lonely Planet guides to random places. When I think back to our five weeks travelling around the US last summer I can't think of a happier memory. I was invited to Ukraine with work next month, as part of the same project I visited Kosovo with last year, I usually jump at the chance for work trips to random places but I'm just not sure about Ukraine alone at 32 weeks.

Welcome back Rubes! I hope you had a good trip. I wouldn't want to move the au pair to our middle floor where she'd have a shared bathroom etc. I prefer the idea of separation on different floors. I think it would be more sound proof too.

Urgh, I feel dire, a bit nauseated now just to top off the misery.

LadyT, I am just going to stick to under 2000 calories. I read that BF uses about 200 calories a day so that is about 1800 a day. Combined with my walking I should lose something. Though it will all go to pot when we go on holiday.

Arti, I can offer no advice on au pairs or extensions. But I do hope you feel much better soon.

I am always dreaming of holidays. Mainly UK ones though. We are off to Cornwall for Easter, planning on staying with in laws again in August and are hoping to have a week in Scotland next year with my Dad, brother and his DP.

I want to take the DC to Disney in Paris but going to wait until DD is a bit bigger.

Fair enough Arti. Makes sense. Wasn't sure of the layout either.

Lady just another quicky left sun afternoon back early this morn. My preference really altho might do a 2 nighter here and there soon.
Off prob 6 weeks now hopefully so must plan something. Have a 3 night M'tego Bay I was going to take dh on next mth but dumping it now for a multitude of reasons.
Good luck Kayz. You can do it.

Speaking of eBay. Got a bit carried away here too with dd clothes and have 21 items to post tmrw! Still about 17 auctions running too. Scared to take my big sack to the tiny local po as they looked stressed last time I had about 6!

Gosh, I need to do some ebaying. Although waiting til September and finding out if I'm having a boy or a girl (we're not finding out at 20 weeks, although I'd quite like to. I just want the surprise!). DH keeps offering up our stuff to his sister who's got a four month old daughter. Much though I love her, I'm not keen on that idea as if we do have a girl, I'll need it all back and you just never know. She's v reliable etc, but I do just worry a bit.

Also, I tried changing her daughter's nappy when they came to stay last week and the poo had gone everywhere. I had forgotten TOTALLY how to do it and it took me hours! Useless.

this time in two weeks we'll be in Muscat. Oh joy and heaven. I CANNOT wait! Feel like I really really need a break.

A friend has very sweetly asked me to sing at her wedding while they sign the register. Luckily there's 4 of us doing it together and two of them are fantastic singers. Me, not so much. Am a bit in a quandry about it as don't want to ruin her big day!!! EEEK. She seems to think I'm a good singer. I've said yes, as don't want to upset her, but do you think I could use the preggers thing as an excuse and reduced capacity of lungs etc? Which is true, as my old singing teacher told me and I had to stop when I was pregnant with DD1 and haven't done it since!!!

I didn't know you could sing Beans! I'm sure you would still be great. Could you practise a little and see how it goes? I'm so jealous of Muscat, gosh I could do with some warmth. What kind if place are you staying?

Rubes, that some crazy eBaying! Do you bundle the clothes or sell items separately? I think I've over bundled this time. I did a collection of 10 Mini-Boden items but now I look I think they'd have sold for more separately.

I'm still really ill. Can't get out of bed as any movement makes me cough and wheeze. I've never been wheezy before, horrid. Plus, I can't eat so I'm really faint. I've lost 4lbs though!

Hi Arti. Have bundled in the past but it doesn't make as much and with the eBay app its do quick to lust stuff individually.
Normally buy postage online but haven't been able to get it working properly recently but giving the po a break as an finding the Royal Mail online postage (almost) as easy as the PayPal one. Altho I did sell a coat of mine so will have to go to the PO with that one. Hope you feel better soon.
Didn't know you could sing either beans! Do it!

Lust. Lol. I suppose I do lust stuff too.

I'm in awe of the ebaying! I did some old frugi trousers of dd's recently that sold well but most stuff is trashed by the time it has been through my children! Mind you I tend to buy second hand in the first place or supermarket stuff and it is a waste of time listing that. I was quite chuffed though as I sold 2 pairs of trousers for half what I spent buying 5 pairs of frugi trousers for ds2 off ebay...now I just need for ds2 not to trash them .

Beans I wouldn't lend out clothes any more if expecting to use them again. I learned that the hard way. I thought it would be fine, a good friend I have known since childhood. We swapped clothes as she had a girl and I had a boy and then we both had the other for dc2. Well eventually when I was pg with ds2 I managed to get the stuff back from her. I had sent all her stuff back as dd grew out of it, looked after it. The stuff I got back was dirty, stained and half of it was missing, mostly the good expensive bits like lovely french stuff I was given by family, really good fleece lines frugi trousers for winter. I think she has cost me around £150 in clothes. Hence I have been ebaying to try to get stuff for ds2 to fill the gaps.

Singing sounds lovely Beans, what an honour to be asked :)

Kayz the weight loss thing is hard, especially when still feeding. I think that ultimately it is about changing your relationship with food. Spend a while weighing everything out so you can see what a normal portion is. I ALWAYS end up having to do that once I'm tailing off feeding! You spend so much time eating more and it being ok that you just carry on and you eat for the sake of it. You have to do it for a while though so it become second nature again.

I know you are walking lots but remember that walking is not always great exercise, if you are with small loitering children then you are not really increasing your heartrate and making your body work. Staying active in general though is great for maintaining weight once you've lost it :) Keeping below your rda of calories should mean you lose weight but do it gently and do it while keeping a normal balanced diet.

It is the first steps, the first week or 2 of normal sized meals and snacks that is hard for me. Once I get past that then if I start trying to eat like I was before I just feel sluggish and bloated and have no appetite. I find that once I'm in good habits then I naturally self regulate so for example if I have had a big, special meal one night then i'll probably skip my hot chocolate at breakfast the next morning and have salad for lunch. I don't think "oh I've been naughty, now I need to be good" I just pick what I feel like having. I think that is the aim, a healthy relationship with food where there isn't such a thing as good or bad.

Arti hope you are feeling better.

Holiday talk makes me dream! I must get in touch with my aunt and cousin actually as my cousin has a place up in Scotland we can use but I don't get any holiday until august so we are pretty restricted, hope it will be available then. It is in the back of beyond on the coast but sounds lovely. FIL was on about the midges and telling us we can't possibly go to scotland in august and should find somewhere else (because of course we have the money to rent a place rather than just cost covering for my cousin's place ). Are they relaly that bad if you are right on the coast?

Must go. SChool run.

Ahem, I can't really sing, am just winging it!! Hence the slight reluctance!

We're staying in a fantastic hotel in Oman. First two nights staying Muscat in a bit of a grotty place, but that's ok, because it's only two nights and we dont' arrive til nearly midnight the first night. Then the next two nights we're camping in the desert and doing camel rides and wadi bashing etc! We've gone direct to the guides out there and saved ourselves nearly a grand!!!

Then for the week at the end, we're staying here

A massive splurge and an amazing place, but probate has gone through from Dad and so we have a bit of money at the moment and I know he would approve of us spending it on this. I feel like we've all earnt it. DH is NEVER home before 8.30pm and I consider that early! Usually it's more like 11, when I've gone to bed, so I haven't really seen him for ages and he's been working a lot of weekends too. Hopefully he'll get a bonus at the end of it, but you never know! And I'm just thoroughly knackered and still fairly weepy about Dad on a regular basis, so I think it's a well-deserved holiday for both of us. I cannot wait. And the girls are SO excited!

We've just got back from our swimming lesson and the teacher asked if the girls are free to star in a film she's having made to promote swimming to children around the country. Am gutted as it's in Peterborough the day we get back from holiday and I can't imagine any of us having the energy to go up there as we arrive at 6am into Heathrow! But was v proud as she said they are fantastic swimmers. Well done DH, can't say I've helped!!!!

Indith, I konw what you mean re lending clothes. Lent same SIL my maternity clothes and they've come back in good nick, but she's a fair bit bigger than me and so they are all a bit stretched, which is a bummer, as I hate wasting money on clothes I only wear for a few months!

Am still so far managing to stay out of maternity jeans so far, but it's not going to be long as jeans are stretching to bursting point!

Off to see The Judas Kiss tonight at the theatre, dontcha know, with Rupert Everett. Delicious! Apparently lots of male nudity. What a wonderful thrill!

Wow that looks amazing Beans! Sounds like a fantastic holiday, you really do deserve it :).

Popping on for a minute as going out for Mexican for dinner with my mate & her boys soon.

Beans I think singing is fine when up duffed as a friend played in a little group who played Handel's pieces & their singer was quite preggars when I saw them play a few years back. But I'm sure it is also a legitimate excuse. You could always do what I did for my year 8 music assignment when I had to sing Madonna's 'holiday' with some classmates, turn your microphone off.

Lady I would really love to read that book, hint hint, I'm available for a critique.

Indith we have midges all through summer, they are annoying but you just keep all food left out covered and take lots of citronella candles with you & burn them. They tend to hang around the bin a lot so make sure it is covered & if possible leave it outside the kitchen door. Otherwise they wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.

Kayz I hear you on the weight loss and I sympathize.

Rubes you know I love you, bubbles were lovely.

Beans that resort looks amazing, good on you. Really looking forward to hear about it. Camping in the desert what an amazing experience for the girls.

The boys & I are loving LA, the tar pits were brilliant Jam & the Grove farmers market was delish. Have been enjoying some early morning runs at the beach and lots of shopping but mostly for the boys stuff. Super cheap clotges & shoes here. Today we went to Santa Monica & saw some dolphins & a cheeky seal.

Right better go as need to get these boys moving.