October 2012 babies part 2: winding, yawning and grizzling, and first smiles?

[YompingJo]

Part 2: in which our babies learn to sleep through the night and make us tea in the morning

Gaah!! Just read on kellymom not to shake separated breast milk which has been in fridge!!! It damages it!!!!

Flip sake.

I'm taking a break from expressing anyhow as nips finally recovering but I'll hav to get back on it in week or so. Plan to be a bit more knowledgeable this time!!

I feel for you all struggling with bf but you're all doing soooo well! I lasted 4 weeks.

I really thought this would be easier the second time round but it so isn't. I'm beset by worries! Am I letting her sleep too much during the day? Should I switch her to a cot from Moses basket? Should I be bathing her every day?!

yomping so much sympathy. it does sound like oversupply. I had that awfully with ds1 and to a lesser extent this time. lansinoh disposable breastpads are what you need, not forever but they are very effective for the now while your supply is excessive. mine didn't settle til ds1 was 5 months, and then bfing was lovely. i'm sure yours will settle much sooner, she'll catch up and you'll stop getting soaked. try tucking a folded muslin into your bra before each feed to absorb the flood dribbles. also try taking her off when letdown starts, catching the worst of it in a muslin, then putting her back on when it slows. gotta dash but you're doing brilliantly x

Just running in to bear hug bella. So sorry about DH. It will all work out I am sure, good nearly always comes from shit, but it is not always possible to feel that when you are knee deep in it.

Yomping just wanted to say I agree with everything you said about bf and I also have oversupply. never thought it would be so hard. but bubs was weighed yesterday at 4 week's and 4 days and is a whole kilo up on birth weight. bf is still a real struggle and I'm still expressing a lot. people keep saying it settles by 12 weeks. hoping that's true
sorry about grammar! I just got my first smart phone and I can't fecking use it.

yomping i too agree with u and have same oversupply prob with bf...meep now almost 7 weeks and it has started to settle-less leaking at nighy but can second the use of lansinoh pads. Pricier but sainsburys ones were crappo.
Also read that green poops linked to too much foremilk and no hind milk so have started persevering with one boob making sure meep gets enough on one...often means feeding takes ages despite being told it would shorten from 6 weeks but think meep fuller and no green poops.
Still never gone longer than 3 hours at time between feeds meaning i havent slept longer than approx 2hrs at a time for 7 weeks... Argh. Will this improve???? Feels like never will. Meep currently snoozing on me...clearly to sleep in moses dufing day would be ridiculous. He is so cosy but i will never havs a life off sofa again....
Big love and well done to all of us i reckon...this is the hardest job in world!!!

Also running in to bear hug Bella, so sorry to hear about your DH. I agree with Midget, good does generally come from shit.
Yomping I'm with you on that one. I've also doubled up on breastpads and I still soak through, it's ridiculous. I have to wash my bras and about 4 tshirts every day, because god, breast milk STINKS when its not dried properly.

Completely agree about being sick of bfing - DS too is doing the thrashing around thing and hitting the mattress after night feeds, co-sleeping is no fun, he also falls fast asleep in my arms off the nipple then wide awake in the bedside cot.

I can't ever get comfortable bfing either....my back is killing me because i'm bent over, no matter how many pillows i use, i really want to do the lying down position but can't get it, i get nipple drift if i don't hunch over him with one hand clutching my breast....i'm convinced i am wrecking my breast muscles :(

Gah big hugs to us all, these early weeks are so hard. i want to tell all my visitors to fuck off because they're only interested in cuddles with ds, not taking into consideration the time they're here is a vortex of feeding/crying/pooing/feeding. I am not interested in anything other than getting through each hour1

also please don't think i'm just posting about myself, i am reading what everyone is up to and i have commiserations and sympathy and everything...i just dont have the brain power to do the name check thing...y'all are amazing at name checking and speaking to each other!

my top tip for oversupply is to sit on sofa leaning forward to latch, then immediately lean back to a comfortable reclining position. be as far back as you like but try and ensure baby is up stream above boob so gravity means baby can control flow better.

I managed to get up and answer door still feeding today but then realised I'd almost suffocated her with my massive left boob.

I did fix my blocked duct though. if you get this,express until boob is completely drained then keep pumping every hour to keep it empty.

I hate this smart phone business. my fingers are too fat to type on a touchscreen.

Londonmrs that's a good tip to lean back but it makes my nipple feel weird...not pleasant weird. not latch pain, just weird!

Oh yomping, sounds like u r feeling really down. i think it's great we can be honest on here- i get fucked off with bean the most when i am sleep deprived. i know it's not her fault and she is not doing it on purpose, but when u would kill your own grandma for some sleep and u think u have settled her and then she starts screaming after 5 mins of what looks like sleep, or u have fed her to sleep only to discover nappy has leaked and she needs changing...it's just awful. u need someone to take them off u when u r in that state so u can have a break, a cup of tea and calm down. it's really, really hard to stay in control when u r at breaking point and none of us can be the perfect mother all the time.
huffle, i think u r doing the right thing actually, staying away from lying down bf- i can never b sure latch is right like i can in sitting and sometimes i know it is wrong as it can be uncomfy. i tend to only do it to get her to go to sleep, or because i am knackered. Maybe b/f advisors could show u how to do it and get proper latch on to your perky boobs :-) i am not looking forward to sitting up feeding when bean is heavier. i have neved tried that position where u lie on your back. i am trying to feel more positive about b/f by seeing it as an excuse to be a lazy slob and sit aroubd watching movies :-)

Another read and run peeps but just wanted to send out hugs and good vibes to everyone.

Bella so sorry to hear about your DH's job, that is seriously shit :( I hope he's able to get something else but it must be such a worry :( Sending a hug and some

Livvy I didn't realise you were planning a wedding - believe me I fought more with DH over that than at any other time, HATE planning stuff so the fact you are doing that AND have a baby = pure hell! It will pass! (And we planned ours at short notice because didn't want to drag it all out, which probably upped stress BUT it was brilliant and we loved it and you will look back and smile every time you think about the day :) )

And Yomping the breast-feeding can be really tough - here it goes fine for a week or 2 weeks, then I get more blocked ducts and feel like screaming. But nearly 2 weeks clear now (bean is 9weeks+2) and people kept telling me "Hang in there, your supply will settle" and it seems to be the case. If you want to do it hang in there and comb thru Kellymom website for tips - I found it really helpful. Also is there a BFing group near you? I was at one this morning and it was really nice just hanging out and chatting with some mums and BFing and being able to ask some questions of more experienced mums - e.g. they told me about cradle cap shampoo this morning. Also do you have a spare room where you can sleep for a night and let DH bring baby to you just for feeds so you can properly sleep in between? We do this - so DH takes DD 2-3 nights, I take her 4-5 nights. It means neither of us ever gets too knackered. One half decent night of sleep would make you feel like a new woman

Am amazed at some of the shit advice people are getting from MWs / HVs etc Thing is amazing numbers of them haven't been trained about BFing - it's a big problem in NI as Huffle pointed out before - and then they wonder why so few people BF here

Anyway bean waking, sorry not to namecheck all but love to you all, especially those with family worries xo

Yomping... I hear you on the oversupply grumbles. I have given up on wearing a shirt or bra except when i have chianti or am going out. I have a plastic backed crib pad on my bed under me and don't wear a bra or anything to bed. Was getting thrush with nipples constantly damp. Two receiving blankets by the bed to pat dry with throughout the night. When feeding during day i tuck another blanket under my boobs and under my armpit to catch the overflow. When on public i just tuck the cloth into my bra like a bib. I too have an incredibly gassy bean. He flails and squalls for about 30 min more when i put him in the bassinet. But then he will work it out and fall asleep eventually. Sometimes needs the soother.

And i do this "trick" where at the end of a feed when he is calmer and milk flow has decreased i gently stroke his hair until he falls asleep. He is starting to associate that with the calm full feeding, so now when i am putting him down in his crib or bassinet and he us restless i can sneak in and stroke his hair and sometimes that is enough to addend him off again. This is great because it means that i don't have to pick him up again. Phase 2 of this plan if he still won't settle is give him the soother and stroke his hair. Hope this might help someone. saves my legs from all the extra rocking to sleep.

thank you so much for all your support and kind words. You are all amazing. My poor poor husband just looked like he had the weigt of the world on his shoulders last night. Weirdly, he was made redundant the day before DS1 was born too. It is like history repeating its self! I hope so much that he can get something else sorted out soon. My paremts have said that we can move in with them if we need to, so I know that we won't be on the street! So sorry for you guys with poorly relatives, that is far worse. We are so lucky that both our boys are well and happy, so will just have to ride this one out.

Again, thank you all for kind words. I never thought I would find this kind of support and friendship online!

Hi all.

Apologies for being off the radar the last couple of weeks - it's been a whirlwind.

Bloody hell, no one tells you just quite how complicated and all consuming parenthood is! Just about getting back into routine and a vague state of normality.

Have visitors through til Monday but hope to have a proper read through and catch up.

Big hugs to everyone...and beans...and special hugs to those having a rough time x

if you need a lullaby, this is very funny…

Posted this on the facebook group before...never has it seemed so relevant!

Warning - does contain swearing...

Yomping... I hear you on the oversupply grumbles. I have given up on wearing a shirt or bra except when i have chianti or am going out. I have a plastic backed crib pad on my bed under me and don't wear a bra or anything to bed. Was getting thrush with nipples constantly damp. Two receiving blankets by the bed to pat dry with throughout the night. When feeding during day i tuck another blanket under my boobs and under my armpit to catch the overflow. When on public i just tuck the cloth into my bra like a bib. I too have an incredibly gassy bean. He flails and squalls for about 30 min more when i put him in the bassinet. But then he will work it out and fall asleep eventually. Sometimes needs the soother.

And i do this "trick" where at the end of a feed when he is calmer and milk flow has decreased i gently stroke his hair until he falls asleep. He is starting to associate that with the calm full feeding, so now when i am putting him down in his crib or bassinet and he us restless i can sneak in and stroke his hair and sometimes that is enough to addend him off again. This is great because it means that i don't have to pick him up again. Phase 2 of this plan if he still won't settle is give him the soother and stroke his hair. Hope this might help someone. saves my legs from all the extra rocking to sleep.

I have a physio apt tmrw to check on pelvic floor. Oh dear. Anyone else still leaking???

Anyhow, asked mum to come with to mind bubba but she working too late. She said 'If he was fed with a bottle you could have left him here'
Dad could watch him for 20 mins then she would be home.

Was all I could do to not react. All I said was Well he is not.

Bloody fuming. Some support for this feckin breast feeding please!!! Know she did not mean it but ffs!!!!!!!!!!! Aargh!!!!

our nights are getting worse and worse. she won't sleep for more than 30 mins at a time and takes 2 hours or more to settle. I can't live like this. when will it get better? she's nearly 5 weeks. some of you have been having good nights for ages.

london my LO is almost 7 weeks and has never gone for longer than 3 hrs between feeds so havent slept longer than 2 at best. You are not alone!!! Some nights better than others. In our bed mostof night last night. Must stop using boob to keep him quiet and replace with dummy as tends to have lots of tiny feeds instead of fewer big ones at night.
huffle totally still leaking...eek
6 wk doctor check pointless. She just asked me about contraception..stupid. Didnt even check my bits out or anything...is this normal!?!

Meeps my GP said I didn't need a 6 week check as smear test up to date and that's about all they do........! Hello? I've had 2 major tears and an episiotomy stitched up!!

I do however have a hospital post natal check with obgyn in January so I'm happy to wait.

I'll let u know if physio thinks leaking normal but if you not happy ask for a referral back again. Personally I've been crap at exercises as hav been so distracted by BF and lack of sleep!!! So not helping self!!!

Wow, so nice to know I am not alone - although I don't wish others to be having a hard time, it's really comforting to know that the hard times are shared IYSWIM! Between us all we could start a milk business!

Meepsmum, I am block feeding too, started yesterday, 2 feeds per side before changing to other side. Means the second feed on each side takes MUCH longer as she has to work harder to get the milk and it is thicker so sends her to sleep frequently win and means that I have to use triple breast pads and hand express from the engorged side after a while, but that should settle in a couple of days as my boobs get the idea that they are catering for one monster small person and not a whole fecking army of them , and OMFG the difference in mini yomping today is unreal . This morning we have had smiley, contented girl and sleeping girl, and not a single grizzle (apart from when she headbutted me and then cried, idiot child ). Now of course it could be coincidence and she could just be shattered from being awake for so long yesterday (an 8 hour stretch at one point ) but I'm going to tell myself that it is my actions that have made the difference, and I'm carrying on with the block feeding as it is the only thing that makes sense.

She is doing fewer poos suddenly which is weird, I would have expected less weeing and more pooing if she is suddenly getting a higher ratio of hindmilk to foremilk? Maybe this has also coincided with her bowels finally settling down, and maybe yesterday was so bad because we're hitting the 6-week growth spurt a couple of days early. Who knows. It's like being a superstitious sports star - you do some things to help you win, you're not sure which of them work so you have to obsessively carry on doing all of them in case the one thing you stop was the one thing that made the difference!

Beeble, liking the hair stroking tip, mind if I copy?

London, early 6-week growth spurt? Hope it calms down soon, sounds like a total nightmare at the moment Sending you and a slice of cheesecake from my fridge as a naughty breakfast treat!

Post natal checks up seem a bit random to me. Maybe it depends on your GP? No mention of a smear test here, maybe it's because I'm only 23. At DS's check the doc checked all his reflexes and that but this time GP didn't do any of that. She checked her skin, hands and hips, under her nappy, head control, asked how BF was going and how I was feeling. Asked about my pelvic floor and is there anything else I was worried about. Sorted contraception, then the nurse did her jabs.

I'm also having over supply issues. Poor DD coughs and splutters and gets upset. Can I say yes yes to Lansinoh breast pads. Supermarket own brands are too small (and I have teeny tiny boobs) and posh reusable ones arent waterproof or absorbent in any way.