October 2012 babies part 2: winding, yawning and grizzling, and first smiles?

[YompingJo]

Part 2: in which our babies learn to sleep through the night and make us tea in the morning

Thanks Lisbeth. X posted. Appreciate the support. Man this is hard.

I have a niece yay!!!! She managed a vbac despite stalling overnight, back to back but pushed out fine in 1hr 20mins and am so proud of her!! Mum and baby well yay!!!!!

Oof, lost post. Grrr. Kondonmrss thanks I am def looking in to today.

On question of night sleeper, my one bead of sanity is that so far I hav a good sleeper! Very minimum 3 hrs, usually 5-6.5. From start I hav made a point of keeping night feeds nd change as quiet and dark as possible. Hardly talk to the wee mite other than to comfort him, keep lights down low and straight back to bed when finished. Also at start I tried to enforce routines and keep sleep strict during day. When I stopped this and let him sleep more in day he suddenly went up to 5-6 at night! Tbh tho the fact that he feeds so much orob bloody just knocks him out tho!

I have been putting lots of saline in baby's nose to keep it clear - one night he was completely blocked. I found if I drop in a few drops with him on his back, they go back into his sinus... he will cry and always a plug of mucous comes away and baby looks vaguely surprised
I prefer to do it regularly before he is completely plugged up.

Would you consider BFing her to sleep with you both in bed?

That last question was for you Livvy
Glad cavalry is on it's away

Quickly marking my spot before thread moves along at galloping pace again...

But just massive thanks to everyone for your support during my meltdown, you ladies are always a huge comfort to me

And quick congrats to squid

We put Baby Loopy in his own room for the first time (@4 weeks old) last night as he's such a flipping noisy sleeper - really snuffles & talks through the whole night!!

I was really nervous about it but knew I couldn't have slept through the noisy boys sleep for the next 5 months!

londonlivvy we often put Baby Loopy on his side if that's the way he's fallen asleep & when we co-slept on several nights, he would roll on his side automatically to snuggle into my boobs this, despite me not breastfeeding from boobs!!

And was someone asking about breast pumps? I have Medela mini electric but with expressing find it took too long to do both so invested in Spectra 3 dual pump - it takes 10-15 mins & is super quiet Pumping both boobs at the same time has also seemed to have increased the right boobs production levels, previously it would only produce half of what the left did!!

Fucking hell. This is hard work

This cannot work. Not enough hours in day or hands or boobs to feed, express, bottle feed and actually care for baby. Was ok over wknd, DH cared for baby! Fuck this, I cannot manage to express and bf!!!! You are all right, it is impossible!!!!! I hav not even got dressed yet Nd hav only half expressed right boob totally fucking up any pattern

AAARGH

huffle I don't know if this is helpful but I switched to FF my DD (now 3) after similar issues and we really didn't look back. I thought I'd feel v guilty but I was so much happier and more relaxed without all the stress of expressing/painful feeds/recording everything that I was able to start enjoying her and being a mummy. We definitely didn't have any issues 'bonding', although I wonder if my anxiety/stress might have tipped into PND which might have affected how I felt about her if we'd not found a way to feed her without 24/7 pumping, feeding schedule as it was stopping me getting out.
Please don't think I'm trying to persuade to FF if it's not what you want, but FF isn't so bad. DD is v healthy (no more colds/tummy bugs than BF peers and ahead in all her preschool 'milestones').
Whatever you decide baby huffle has had a fab start and v v dedicated Mummy, big hugs x

6 weeks is shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have hardly slept, DS1 is behaving like demon toddler from hell and I'm wondering if DS2 is spending too much time in the sling in the day? He sleeps so well in it, wondering if it's affecting nights? But I have nowhere else to put him! Arggghhh I need more sleep, last night was horrendous. Each night is getting steadily worse, longer to settle and louder crying. DS1 getting more disturbed. Neeeeed sleeeeeep Also he's gulping more and more air as he feeds as he gets older. Surely he should be getting better at this, not worse??? Babies are ridiculous!

Sorry to moan (and use so many !!'s and ??'s )...just want to fastforward this bit (however sodding long it is)

angelico the 8week jabs got us our best night's sleep to date out of DS1 iirc. Same with 3 & 4 month jabs. I'm sort of looking forward to them and sort of worried, in case DS2 doesn't play ball!!

Big hugs to everyone suffering the lack of sleep and all that goes with it. Head down and keep ploughing on...

and special hugs to huffle and livvy

Thanks Springer, is feeling very likely right now. Poor wee sod seems stressed too, this is not right

X

crazy you have just described my weekend!! DD has decided that 5am is a good time to wake up (and everyone else) and subsequently knackered (and grizzly) for the rest of the day DS is also in the wonder sling lots...doesn't sleep anywhere else and isn't really safe with DD around unless v closely supervised - nightmare. Thank god today is a preschool day
angelico like crazy said the jabs can make them sleep! DD first slept through after her 4mth ones I used to give her calpol before the appointment (would need to check age it's ok from though). Their little legs can be a bit sore afterwards . She always settled v quickly with dummy/feed followed by drive around. Good luck x

springer so jealous....DS1's childminder is off for TWO MORE WEEKS

I suspect his 2nd molars are making their move. Great timing.

huffle I second what springer says. I am in no way suggesting/pushing you should FF but pumping at the level you need to keep your milk at full supply is soul crushing. (I would dearly love to be bf, it still makes me a bit everyday I'm not - I even tried quickly to get DS to latch this morning but no interest!!)

I felt EXACTLY as you did when I was expressing full time. Overwhelmed, exhausted, resentful. The past 5 days that DS has been fully on formula (and last 3 days I haven't expressed at all) have been the 5 best days so far. The Symphony pump is going back tomorrow good riddance but I'm grateful for it because there is NO WAY on god's green earth that DS could have got 2.5 weeks of breastmilk without it, I was getting RSI from my Avent manual pump . It is expensive to hire - cost me €140 for one month - but if you can find the money for it, do it.

Moral of the story is, keep at the pumping as long as you feel able but if you need to stop and use formula that is totally ok. I didn't believe that myself when I was posting last week and everyone here was so supportive but OMG with a bit more sanity its true.

The public health nurse popped in unexpectedly to see me this morning - she wanted to see how I was as I was so upset the last two times she saw me. She said it was obvious by looking at how much better I looked and sounded, and how happy and thriving baby was that FF was absolutely the right choice for us. Honestly I would never have believed that if you had told me before I had the baby, but life is what happens when you're busy making plans, right?

Agree TOTALLY with what ppl were saying up thread about breastfeeding being fucking hard and that this is NOT sufficiently advertised during pregnancy. I was (and still am, for future babies!) 100% committed to breastfeeding, so is DH and DMIL, and we just could not crack it. It is not just about attitude - if it were, I'd be nursing like a pro! In at least a significant minority of situations it is not physically possible because of mechanics, baby not getting it, pain, supply issues and the list goes on. This much I have learnt, anyway.

Also never thought I'd say this but got to say I am very grateful to Aptamil, their live chat helpline is bloody fantastic. I've used it to get answers to minor feeding/transition from breastmilk/poo queries frequently in past few days when I couldn't get hold of public health nurse. Bloody brilliant and very nice people too. Formula companies are certainly not the big evil tobacco-company-equivalents they get made out to be.

Sometimes when I'm feeling I think this whole breast/formula debate is not about babies' health, it's just another way women beat each other up, instead of supporting mums who are all just trying the best they can, whether that's exclusively bf, exclusively ff or somewhere inbetween.

For once I am not here to moan! Popped on to report some victories. Had a feeling that the way I was bf was causing problems, and after reading a bit of LLL book, decided to try laid back feeding. Wonderful! So good that my let down reflex, which has been a bit lacking, kicked straight in. I feel comfy, no back or shoulder or neck strain, she leads the way (fuck, babies are so clever) and I can just hold her and stroke her and marvel at her instead of fighting with her and holding her neck in place.

Second victory: antibiotics 1, mastitis 0. Yeah!!! Fever gone, pain mostly gone, baby seems happier feeding (even before trying laid back technique), maybe she has been sensing something not right.

Third victory, used ring sling today. Win! Managed to actually Get Stuff Done around the house and also managed trip to supermarket where I spent too much money in my excitement. Best purchase: some different textured xmas baubles to hang from the carrycot and carseat so baby girl has something to look at when she is in them .

huffle, big hugs. If you do carry on, it won't be forever, not sure if that thought helps at all.

Big high five to yomping!

I am having a good day too. BIL and his partner are here for the day (been here since Saturday), they are looking after baby while I lie down. They made us lunch and are going to make us dinner. They bought us a nice bottle of whiskey to drink too. I am so SO SO SO eternally grateful to my DH's amazing family. I have an epically shit family who I haven't spoken to in years, and DH's family more than make up for them. Not once have I really felt any regret at having no family of my own to support me during pregnancy at birth.

Oh Zara thank you, making me cry buckets again. Off to Boots to try and get medela calma bottle. Lovely lady from BF support just off phone and she coming to see me this evening for last ditch attempt to try to recover feeding on right. If cannot, I need to switch for sanity. Today has been hideous and is only 2pm!!!! Need to enjoy my baby.

Thanks again peeps
Xx

Hugs huffle.

I finally got DD to sleep and I got some sleep too and things are more cheery round our house. Let's hope it stays.

Hugs huffle - Medela calma is great! Just take care when you warm up the bottle - you have to give a good few shakes to check the milk temp. Because of the design, milk/liquid can get trapped in the teat and can be difft temp to what's in bottle, IYSWIM. So judge temp of milk by what you manage to shake onto your arm AND what you feel temp of bottle itself to be with your hand.

Very glad a bf counsellor is coming to see you today! Thinking of you, I really do understand what you're going through

Big hugs huffle from here too. I express but only enough for around 3 feedings a day & the rest are formula. Even with the dual pump, it's so hard to find the time to do it & also have trouble getting showered & dressed for the day!!

Hope you're ok x

Sorry about earlier post, just posted without reading and was having a but of a meltdown. Have manned up now.
huffle big hugs lovely, you are going above and beyond for your little one but you have to look after yourself too. Hope things get better soon sorry I can't offer any helpful advice.
yomping great the mastitis is clearing up! You sound much more upbeat.
Congrats auntie squid
livvy I don't get any 'equipment' as such, I have 10 weeks of lessons with a trained midwife. Have been told this can either involve supervised use of equipment or just them sticking their fingers inside and telling you when you're clenching the right muscles Can't wait

Praise praise praise praise praise the lovely BF support lady!!!!!!!! Oh tears of relief this time!!! Turns out although my latch is good, way I was holding him was just plain stupid and uncomfortable and caused his wee mouth to slip......... This causing trauma to nips. On one hand I feel incredibly stupid, on the other I feel incredibly cross that so much attention paid to latching on by all other professionals that no one realised I was holding him so badly

Just did an entire feed on sore side in her company and barely more than a few winces. Her next aim is to take me out for coffee to feed in public! Cracks still there obviously, so need to be careful.

So the day has been saved. Mummy is so relieved it is unreal, baba is well fed and the need for a heavy duty milking machine is delayed!! Still plan to express a bit as good to mix with bottles given my early return to work but the urgency had gone

Sorry for my meltdowns, sorry for the drama, sorry I was too stupid to find appropriate help earlier!!!!

The relief is unreal. Please please PLEASE may I not hav another breast related drama!!!!

Thanks so much for all your encouragement and support ladies, as ever. Where would we all be without each other? Luffs you all! Xx

Congrats aunts squid.

Crikey smorgs... Bonding with your midwife, eh?

Right. Bad mother confession. Every day I do a 2oz formula feed at 5pm so that she is used to a bottle and the taste of formula so when I give up, she'll accept it. My sister suggested this. It's been fine. Anyway, I then offer boob after bath and normally she takes it all and then falls asleep. Fine. Tonight she wouldn't settle, despite an hour's feeding frenzy. I winded, I changed her bum, and after that, I tried white noise, I tried cuddles, nothing. I left her to cry for four very very long minutes. When I went in, to reassure, she started sucking my neck and I had a blinding flash of inspiration. She was still hungry. Other boob was empty too so then had to have unhappy girl whilst I sterilised a bottle and made it up to give to her. She then necked 2oz in about ten mins. Can't believe I deprived my girl of food, even if unintentionally. [Sad] Feel terrible. I guess this is the three week growth spurt. I feel totally inadequate and mean to her. Poor DD.

In better news, i have a maternity nurse booked for two nights this week. I am excited at the prospect of two full nights' sleep. It feels weird to be delegating the care of my daughter, especially in the light of this evening's fiasco, and I hope that I manage to sleep properly rather than listening out!