October 2005 babies - what will happen in the next 6 months??

[Yokefleet]

I hope they are as good as the last 6!

Thanks guys. i will stick with the two naps for now - dd much better last night so maybe it was a glitch.

As for 'non person' thing, thank you MM i thought it was just me who was a freak for feeing suicidal at the thought of another session at any of the local drop in centres. Everyone either childminder, chatting to other childminders, very young or from an ethnic minority surrounded by other mums from same place happily chatting away. Great facility for them but absolutely no-one there with anything in common with me. Also few babies same age as DD. Bit tragic yesterday at local one o clock club as she kept crawling after toddlers, gazing up at them adoringly as they completely ignored her except when their mums told them not to step on her - while ignoring both her and me before going straight back to their conversations. Amazing how similar the word 'baby' is in so many languages...
i have tried everything to meet other mothers like me - nct (think i'm in an nct black hole), post natal group (do meet but half hearted and hasn't really gelled), every class from baby yoga to very little people make music ('music') as well as drop in clubs etc. and still, nothing. and this in an area which must have the highest concentration of bug-a-boos in bloody north london.
the nearest i got to social interaction yesterday was a hardcore muslim bloke (cat, beard, wife in full burkha - five steps from finsbury park mosque) with a buggy and a toddler smiled at me but i was wiping mud off DD's toy carrot so missed the moment and then spent a good three minutes kicking myself and wondering if i should wander back past them casually and smile so they'd know i wasn't a stuck up cow.... but decided that was a bit desperate and it was probably wind not a smile and they were walking in the other direction anyway so i'd have to run past them and then do a handbreak turn...and...well...it just wasn't cool.
there was also the chance that he and his wife were sharing a smile at my un-shaped eyebrows, dead-fish-in-need-of-fake-tan skin and chipped toe nail varnish and not being friendly at all... either that or wondering who the fuck gives their child a toy carrot to play with.
god, look at that rant. small wonder i'm friendless. ah, they joys of anonymous internet ranting.

I am so relieved to read your stories MM and Cye.

I was feeling really low at one point, but I am managing better now. We'd just moved from Ldn so not only I am a SAHM but also new to the area. I was not enjoying my job so was looking forward to this and now feeling lonely and confused...

I found it very difficult to settle in, for some reason I felt really left out, everyone seems to know someone else and left feeling like 'billy no mates'. Tried lots of classes but being a one car family, the thought of having to fetch DH from station in the evening is a logistical nightmare as it is always around DD bedtime.

Cye, your story made me laugh. I walk around the village expecting to see friendly faces but sometimes they don't even look at you! Then I get caught off guard when I do get a smile. I was starting to blame it on being in a village, so surprised you Ldners are feeling the same.

I must seem such a misery to DH who comes home and always asks how my day went, I just try to pretend and says it was great, but he knows I am not v.happy.

I'll end my post on that wonderfully happy note.

Lovely ladies I just had to have a peak before I headed off. Thank goodness for sharing - hey. There we all were thinking that this norma no mates feeling was all ours alone . teacakes what village are you in luv? cye i am only two stops away on the tube from finsbury park y'know....anyway really am off now for hols. dh is not amused at my tapping as the hols begin. this lark is everso addictive isn't it. in the meantime hugs and smiles to you. MMx

i meant peek by the way

my story is slightly different to everybody elses - I had to go back to work, I earn exactly the same wage as DH and we cannot do without the money. At the moment I dont have the ability to change jobs / retrain etc but hope to do so in the future.

A couple of weeks before going back to work, I was in pieces. I had a naff time just before returning (at six months) up until last month or so, lots of tears, feeling fed up, getting to Thursday and being dead on my feet because I was so tired.

I now am okay at work, manage to go all day without wanting to quit, am fairly happy. Evelyn is happy with the childminder, got a nice routine going but there isn't a single day that doesn't go by that I dont wish I could win a little bit of money, give up work and be home with my daughter all day, or I feel like a bad mummy for not being there, for missing out on what she is doing.

Saying that, I did get days while on maternity leave when I was a bit bored, especially in the early weeks when she slept for 23 hours of the day!! I guess is a no win situation!

I'll be back at work in the autumn. veer between counting the days (proper shoes, facials in my lunch hour, adult company!) and lying awake worrying about leaving dd with childminder who could just be a very plausible psychopath who'll stick pins in my babe the moment my back is turned.

teacakes - i dream of villages (even though fled one aged 18 and have never been back). I think i have galloping grass-is-greener syndrome.

also. smiling man had a CAP, not a CAT, which, as far as i know, are not essential to being a good muslim.
though it would be just my luck to be smiled at by the sort of person who takes his cat, wife and children for walks on a damp wednesday lunchtime.

Hello - just wanted to post an apology for not responding when people gave comments about my previous post I am not v good at this interweb malarky, and I was only using the 'last hour' thing, and I think most of you must have posted at different times so it didn't show up. Anyway - v sorry. I'm not really rude. Honest.

Also wanted to say how much I feel for those of you who haven't found a big support network of other mums in their area. I went to a postnatal group that really hit it off, and I thought that everyone's group was like that, but I don't think that's the case. Seems like you're all doing the right things to meet people (classes, getting involved, smiling at Muslim blokes and their cats etc ) and you're all lovely supportive people too!

Anyway, that was all really. I'm off to give the dream feed now - bye!

We live in a village of around 5,000 people in quite a deprived area. We moved here because it was all we could afford based on one salary because I didn't want to get ourselves mortgaged up to the eyeballs knowing that I planned to give up working to be a SAHM. I did meet other Mums at the ante and postnatal groups but tbh have very little in common. The nearest people who I could just pop round to see are 40 mins away. But, I will now chat to the postie and the wifies that say hello in the street and the girls that work in the shop etc etc wheras before, I would perhaps have ignored them. Now, I smile at everyone I walk past in the street (unless they look really rough - judge judge) and it's amazing how many people respond. I know that it's not like that in London though (my sister lives there and despite being surrounded by thousands of people I find it isolated when I go there) so I don't really know what the answer is. DH on the other hand finds it depressing living here but I think it's because he hasn't got the time to speak to people what with working full time and comuting a fair distance. However, if we came into some money, I would be out of here like a shot!
I suppose I am lucky in that I quite enjoy my own company and lucky that Johnny is an easy baby to look after. Also, if I'm honest the inane babble that used to go on in the office used to drive me up the wall so I don't miss that one little bit!
Regarding the grooming - I shower every day and wear clean clothes which are neither fashionable or hugely unfashionable but don't do any of the hair/nails/make up stuff but scrub up well for special occasions so finding time for maintainence doesn't really come into it for me. I am ready in 10mins for a night out!! As for exercise, I walk everywhere carrying my 18.5lb ds in a backback!
Anyway, I don't really know what I am trying to say here - just giving you a snapshot of my life I suppose.

Oh and I forgot to say that now when we put Johnny on to his front, he lifts his bum up and brings his wee legs in so I don't think it will be long before he's off!

MB johnny asleep sounds v cute! out of interest, what sort of back pack do you use and do you recommend them? been wondering about getting one for dd for when we take dog out in extreme mud etc but bit worried that if we stoop to scoop the poop she'll slide out - headfirst into unscooped poop (worst case scenario...). I suppose we could learn to bend at knees but i for one would be anxious about ever getting up again - she's getting heavy!

also MM forgot to add HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY! most important.

We've got a Berghaus backpack that someone gave us (we can't afford Berghaus ourselves!) and it's brilliant for when we're out with DH, who usually carries it. I find it quite heavy for long walks, so I tend to plan long walks I can do with the buggy when I'm on my own, but then BabyRed is quite chunky (about 22lbs I think) and I am quite feeble.

There's no chance of her falling out even if you bend over because she's strapped in.

cye - sorry, the bum in the air thing is when he's awake. He hasn't made any moves yet towards crawling and I am thinking that this might be him getting his act together!

this is the backpack that I have . They don't make them any more but there are loads on ebay. I have found it very good, especially the fact that he can sit in it for a few moments on the ground. I am able to put the pack on and off no bother on my own. LOL about baby falling in the poop! Bending at the knees is better for the back anyway! and I think most backpacks have straps to hold the wee one in just in case. On rainy or very sunny days, I use a big golf umberella to cover us both and it works very well. I was out walking in the midday sun yesterday and loads of people commented on what a good idea the brolly was.

It's very reassuring to read that we're all basically the same! I too live in a v quiet village, in Kent, and have tried (very unsuccessfully) to integrate. Like some of you other ladies, i have gone to the few baby clubs locally and just found that there's either a big age difference between me and the other mums (they're either teenagers or older mums), and they were all very clicqey (?sp), so i just stopped going. I do worry about the long-term impact of this on Joey, as he is an only child and we only know one other baby of a similar age, but i'm hoping to redress this when we move later in the year. Thank goodness for Mumsnet. NM x

thanks for link MB, i am bidding!

got it! thanks!

Completely off the subject of parenting...as you know, i'm getting married in December. A good friend has offered to do a reading for us at the ceremony, but i haven't got a clue what to suggest! Any hints, tips, readings, poetry etc etc would be v appreciated (tis a civil ceremony, so no religious readings allowed). Thanks, and have a good weekend. NM x

SIL read a dr seuss poem at a wedding a couple of weeks ago - i could find out more if that's the sort of thing you're after..bit comedy but romantic...?

I read a poem at my brother's wedding - I can't remember who it was by, but it was called Amo Ergo Sum - I love therefore I am, and from what I remember, it was based mainly around nature - because the waves roll, I love you, because the grass grows, I love you etc (that's not a direct quote obviously, because that's rubbish!) I think I found it in a Bloodaxe collection of women's poetry. Anyway, it was very good for my brother and his wife who are big hikers, climbers, campers etc and wanted something that they felt reflected them.

For me, I think John Donne is the most romantic poet - Lovers Infiniteness maybe?

Some friends talking about having a civil partnership suggested song lyrics, if there's a particular song that means something to you - but read out like a poem. Not sure about this one, but then my favourite song is Club Tropicana by Wham - not sure that would work.

Well I can say that I am deffo not pregnant as I got my A/F for the first time today since I got pregnant!!

cye - well done on "winning" the backpack. It almost makes you forget that you actually have to pay for stuff the way that ebay goes on about winning! I hope you get a good amount of use out of it before your LO is too heavy!

NM- I really don't have any ideas about a reading for your wedding. Ours was so low key that we didn't even have speeches or anything, so I can't help you there I'm afraid.

Elf - so are you pleased or not that AF has come to visit? I suppose on the one hand you won't have the "am I, am I not pregnant" worries. Are you going to get a mooncup? Still no sign of AF here.

Johnny and I have both got the cold at the moment. I have full blown coughing, blocked ears and muffled hearing, snottery nose etc etc. JOhnny has a little drip coming out of his nose. I am assuming that it is because he is breastfeeding that he has hardly any symptoms. He is a little pale and a bit quieter than usual, but he's really taking it pretty well. He has a new trick of sticking his face in the water when he's in the bath. I wouldn't mind, but he's drinking the water too and it's full of oilatum for his skin. I have started to say "no" to him when he does it (not that I think he'll understand, but he has to get used to hearing that word!) and the wee bugger laughs at me It's so hard to keep a straight face, but I suppose I need to practice doing it for when it's for real!

Well, I guess 9 months after Evie arriving was a fair amount of time to go without one.

Suprisingly light at the mo! Luckily had some lilets in the house from a while ago when I was convinced I was going to see my a/f, other wise I'd have been texting DH (who was doing the shopping) to buy me some!

Aw bless Johnny, hope you and he get better soon. Evie does the bath water thing too. She has learnt 'no' but thinks its funny as well.

Yippee. JOhnny did his first sign for real this morning! He was sitting in his highchair and had just finished his breakfast when he did the "milk" sign at me. It was really cute and I am a proud Mummy this morning. I bet everything now is milk milk milk.

WELL DONE JOHNNY AND MB!

Thanks YF.

DH had his email open last night as I walked past the pc. I glimpsed one entitled "your mumsnet registration" DH has registered on mumsnet

He wouldn't tell me his username, but I have found out. But I'm not telling you guys.

MB I don't think I would like my dh to join and realise that he was reading about himself when I am having a moan!!!