October 2005 babies - what will happen in the next 6 months??

[Yokefleet]

I hope they are as good as the last 6!

We use a playpen if it's just one of us in the house with Joey, mainly just for making cups of tea, cooking dinner etc; but we let him just crawl around when we're both indoors and there's always someone about to keep an eye on him! (incidentally, he loves his playpen as he's got all his toys easily to hand). NM x

NM - how is Joey doing now? I hope he is back to being himself.

re the playpen issue. Johnny isn't mobile yet, but as I am planning to do childminding from September, I have radically rearranged the house which means that the whole living room is now (supposedly) chidlproofed and is in effect a giant playpen. No doubt Johnny will show me the weak spots in my defences once he gets mobile! The bathroom is also childproof, so when he gets to the stage where he won't let me pee on my own, he won't be able to cause any bother in there either, as is the kitchen. I have open ended thinggy's at baby level in the kitchen and they are filled with things that he can play with. The theory is that if he is allowed into some of the stuff, he won't be so keen to get into the cupboards where he's not allowed. HA HA HA now, ask me again once he's on the move if it worked.....

He's still got a temperature! It's been 5 days now. Looks like it's back to the GP tomorrow.

Bless him, hope he gets better soon.

I hope he's better soon NM. It can't be nice for him, especially in this heat. not that we are getting the lovely sunshine here. It's misty and thundery here but meant to be nice the rest of the week.

Johnny is being super cute at the mo. I was wondering a few days ago if he was trying to do the sign for "milk" (opening and closing hand) but dismissed it as my imagination. But yesterday, he did it every single time that I was feeding him and he squeals with delight whenever I do a sign that he recognises.

Argh, need sleep

MB - does your signing pack have a difference between cows milk and breast milk? We got a pack with the two signs and I refuse to do the breastmilk sign!

Looks like Joey's finally shaken this virus. His temperature was back to normal when i got home from work yesterday afternoon, and it's stayed down all day despite the sweltering heat!

Sorry to hear about your sleep issues Elf - Joey did this recently, secondary to teething and generally being more active and moble during the day. It lasted just over a week, but (touch wood), even despite his recent health problems, he's back to sleeping normally.

V exciting - we had a well known celebrity in as a patient over the weekend! For obvious reasons, i can't say who it was, but suffice to say, they were lovely, and even signed an autograph for Joey Not the first celeb we've had in, but still can't help feeling a little bit star struck! Hope everyone's ok, NM x

PS. I'm intrigued - why won't you use the sign for breast milk? (don't know anything about it, so please excuse my ignorance!)

Elf - my signing book only has one sign for milk - the opening and closing of the hand. I have decided to use some British sign language signs too and the one for milk is this . Is the breastmilk sign miming a big pair of F cups then? LOL Re the sleeping, I would personally recommend cc, but it may not be for you. Email me if you want to know more.

NM - good news about Joey. I hope that's him back to normal. You probably won't say, but what was wrong with your celeb? Will we be reading in the News of the World about "celeb rushed to hospital after saucy game goes wrong "? or just something run of the mill?

Elf - I've just tried that link. Scroll down on the right hand side to "milk" and then it will show you the pic

Where's this good weather hiding? It's raining here

Ooops. It looks like I am LOL-ing at Evie's sleeping in my last post. The LOL does of course relate to my comment about F cups....

NM so pleased to hear the temp's down. Now you can enjoy the naturally hot weather instead (phew tis too hot at 32 - aaah!).

On playpens - my mum's got one at her house and stella's happy in it. So I guess that as long as you don't over use it there's no problem with them. It's just a play space for them after all. I know what you mean about getting housework done tho - fine to have babe pootling about when you're putting out washing or dusting and the like but not so good with bathroom cleaners and stuff (what with all the chemicals). We don't have room for a playpen here so I use the cot instead occassionally as an alternative. To think I was concerned with events and press once and now I feel like I've achieved something great if the house gets sorted (hilarious) Soooo which celeb was it

Yokelfleet thanks for letting me know more about your cc method. Yep I think consistency is the thing and I have to decide on a plan as you say. I think I've obviously left her too long (10 mins) before going back in to comfort and that might have caused the strops. Sorry to ask for more deets but did you just know through family or have you read anything helpful or did you have a great HV? If I'm going to figure out a plan then I'd like to be clear about it first y'see.

Am intrigued with the signing.....
MM xx

All i will say is that i work on a Cardiac Care Unit! Said person was actually discharged home yesterday, i expect it'll be in the papers this morning!

I wish it was raining down here. It's already 28 degrees, and threatening to be another scorcher.

ELF - your sleep strand with bramblina and folk is v interesting. Stells has become more tricky of late with pullling up too. I think that they can get stuck in a position when they're trying to get to sleep and aren't quite sure how they got there or how to get down (today seh was upset after a few mins when I put her down for a nap and she'd pulled up so went in and laid her down and stayed until she calmed - she then went to sleep after I left the room in a min or two). I really liked the patting idea from one of the mailers to settle the babes. I was starting to worry I was going to get dd into bad habits too but I think that maybe (if you're anything like me) that we over analyse and worry about stuff - but it is knackering isn't it!! .

I'm going to learn more about cc and then make a decision. It seems to have worked a dream for many folk here. Only thing is DH is a psychologist and has some fair and rigorous questions on the subject, plus big challenges that I would need to feel absolutley confident in before thinking of it. Maybe one for a group discussion?
MM x

ELF - your sleep strand with bramblina and folk is v interesting. Stells has become more tricky of late with pullling up too. I think that they can get stuck in a position when they're trying to get to sleep and aren't quite sure how they got there or how to get down (today seh was upset after a few mins when I put her down for a nap and she'd pulled up so went in and laid her down and stayed until she calmed - she then went to sleep after I left the room in a min or two). I really liked the patting idea from one of the mailers to settle the babes. I was starting to worry I was going to get dd into bad habits too but I think that maybe (if you're anything like me) that we over analyse and worry about stuff - but it is knackering isn't it!! .

I'm going to learn more about cc and then make a decision. It seems to have worked a dream for many folk here. Only thing is DH is a psychologist and has some fair and rigorous questions on the subject, plus big challenges that I would need to feel absolutley confident in before thinking of it. Maybe one for a group discussion?
MM x

PAUL O'GRADY! Now I know why he's always having heart mumurs (hmmmmmmmm!!!) Spends a fair amount of time in Heaven I believe - enough said. MM

mm For us it was a new HV as we had moved house and she didn't tell us what to do iykwim she just said we could try if we were comfatable with it, when she said about cc, and said that you could do it a variety of ways (ie: stop feeds completely or water them down etc) I asked what she would recommend and she wouldn't pick one she said it is all down to what us as parents felt comfy with. Personally I am a big softie and can't stand by listening to a crying baby, but we found that the sshhing and patting settled ds down quickly and you knew he was alright . I hope that makes sense, rushed the end as ds is waking from a nap!

mm no books or family recommendations here was just what the HV said and what we were comfy with as I said.

MM - you guessed correctly

Doing yet another night shift at work. I hate my job! Really want a new one, don't know where to even begin. Nursing is all i've ever done, but shift work isn't really conducive to a happy family life. DP and i are sharing child care, as we couldn't afford to do it any other way, and we really are like ships that pass in the night, as we work completely opposite shifts. Hopefully things will improve once we move. (sorry for the rant, i just needed to get it off my chest). NM x

NM oh i can totally empathise with you. I've only ever done one job too and want a change of direction and it's really hard to think about the skills we have and all the other jobs out there that we can do - isn't it? Sometimes I marvel at the fact there are people who are chefs, gardeners, and so on because I wonder how it is we end up on certain pathways and how do we then forge on to another. I know the logical answer of course (training and experience) but it seems like a huge step and responsibility once you're more than a two. At least you're doing something hugely worthwhile right now. There is a book called 'the artist's way at work' and (if you have time to read it!!) it is really helpful to unlock what you'd like to be doing. Someone once told me that you should make a list of everyone you've ever met and thougt 'oh that's an interesting job' and then chat to them about it as it's those hunches that often give you the key to what you're really passionate about. Have to apply it to meself obviously!! On the upside it's great that parenthood alerts us to our deepest longings, hopes and fears and gives us a big kick up the butt to do something different Having said all that I feel like I'm just a non person at the mo cos i'm not working but being a SAHM - ooooh it's so tricky sometime being a laydeeee. MM xx

MM - That's interesting that you say you feel like a non person as you are a SAHM. I made it very clear to DH from early on in our relationship that I would want to be a SAHM and now that I am, I absolutely love it and feel that I am achieving way more than I ever did in any other job that I have had. I am starting childminding in September and I really really want it to work out as I feel I have a lot to offer both ds and my mindees and to be able to combine being at home and working is my ideal. Perhaps I'm in cloud cuckoo land as ds isn't toddling yet, but only time will tell.

NM - perhaps you could retrain as a health visitor and get slagged off on MN

Sorry to go off on a tangent... but naps. When does anyone think is the right time to lose the morning nap - or cut it right back? Are most Oct babies still having two naps? DD had two long (90 min each) naps yesterday and then woke up at midnight full of beans and i was wondering if the two were related?!

MM - i was a SAHM till Joey was 8.5 months old. I was planning to be off until just after his 1st birthday, but i too felt like a 'non-person', to the point that i actually developed a mild form of PND. I'm much better now, but mainly because i'm back to work (even though i moan about it!), and feel like i've regained my 'identity', if that makes sense? It has taken me a while to deal with it, as i always wanted to be this fabulous mother that did all these wonderful things with my son, but the reality is that i wasn't up to the task. Once i identified this, my relationship with both Joey and DP has improved dramatically, and the days off i have with Joey are spent doing all the things i'd envisaged doing if i had been a SAHM anyway!

(not trying to be controversial, or upset anyone, just telling my story) NM x

Cye - Joey still has 2 naps a day, roughly about an hour long each, and he sleeps through from 8pm-8am. He does tend to play up at bedtime if his second nap is too late, or if he falls asleep in the car if we're out late afternoon/evening. HTH x

cye - Johny naps for a total of 3- 4 hours per day over two naps and still goes down at bedtime for 11.5 hours. I am planning to keep the two naps until he stops conking out straight away for his 9am nap.

We have got some nice weather here AT LAST. We had torrential rain and thunder and lightning yesterday

hey there!

thanks for sharing your experiences ladies. Just to help clarify what I mean by non-person tho. I feel hugely rewarded being a full time mum, more so than the (theoretically) high profile 'glamorous' career I very specifically chose to stop once stells was born. What I mean is that the society we live in doesn't support or value this role - the government would in fact prefer folk to go back to work and pay you credits for someone else to look after your children - and there really are very few postive role models for us working as housewives and mums (actually i can't think of one and nigella doesn't count as she's a food writer not a full time mum). This is why sometimes I feel it is hard to find a place for me as a mum in the everyday world. Maybe it's a London thing but I don't know one other woman who has positively chosen to stay at home (only one NCT person won't return to work and that's because her employer won't give her the terms she wants). So in the playground other babes are with childminders or with their 14 year old mums (who I just have nothing in common with that's all). It'd be nice for there to be other women like you mawbroon for example to relate to. It's this that can make me in moments feel like a non-person. Let's face it all the role models valued are pursuing careers. oh and the inlaws never asking me how I am and only ever talking about our lovely babe (where once we would discuss the world its politics, my work, my dreams) but I know that's a small niggle!!

My granparents are Italian and we go there every year (often more) and what I can say about Italian culture is that mums and housewives rule -in the south it's the norm. there's a lovely rhythm to the day and great solidarity and sisterhood in action and I long to find a pocket in Blighty where I might find that. Let's face it making a cracking pasta and having a wonderful home are great and I think it's damm good to be proud of creating that.

NM I know many women who feel the way you did and I think the key for us all is to be flexible and know that we have the choice to do what we want when we want. So it's good to hear that you felt like a change and went for it

In the meantime I will just have to practice much self love and adoration it seems! Last night I treated myself to a pedicure and am now happy looking down on my feet!! But keeping up the whole grooming thing - how on earth do you guys do it? I was a monthly facial, wax, pedi, massage girl you see. I am a perfectionist and feel like I might not be sleek enough for DD you see - am I the only womann who worries about this?

On naps Of late stells had 2 hrs in the morning and a swift 20 min top up in the afternoon and sometimes none at all. Before she had 45 in the am and up to 2 hours in the pm. She's always been an early riser tho (6.30-5.30 sleeping through - on a good night) so you may not want to pay much attention to us!!

Oh we have a tooth starting to forge through - hurray. Off on hols now for three weeks so will post on my return. LOL MM xx