November 2012 - babies are here at last

[StuntNun]

This is the post-natal club for graduates of the November 2012 intake.

Omgoodness. The 7-11 restlessness is under full swing. Mum just took him so I can eat. I'm not looking forward to going back home n loosing this help.

Argh. Just had to make him another feed. He had 4oz at 7. Made up another 4oz. I thought its easier to get into a routine with ff? He is still so random

Attention BFing ladies - my genius DH has just created me a BFing snack tin full of biscuits, rocky road bars, mars bars, percy pigs etc to sit next to me when the boy traps me on the couch for an hour long feeding marathon. Now I just need one of those caps which can hold drinks cans and a straw and I'm sorted. I think I'm going to be someone who puts on weight rather than loses it when feeding. I somehow don't care if the fruit is out of reach....

Is it wrong that I am looking forward to the couch trap?! I am already trapped by being a beached whale. But a whole new excuse... is exactly what I need!

DP must surely be sick of hearing 'will you just get me...' by now. Surprised he hasn't just moved the fridge in to the living room... oooh... there's an idea...!

Sat in bed holding LO. He looks so cute n peaceful. n the second I put him down he will scream . How long till I can give him calpol? That will mk him sleep right? .

im exhausted. I just want to sleep. N again I need to say all u mums are dong amazingly. I'm going to stop now as I think I might get emotional.

Seriously. Can my kid tell the time. Does he know its 11pm n it's time to stop driving mummy crazy? How does he know !
Can I change all the clocks in the house? Mk him think its crying time between 3-6. When I have less to do?!

No guests tomorrow so I'm going to schedule a nap for 3

Expressed today n twice got hardly anything. Mum found fenugreek seeds today. N ground them up n made me warm milk. Think it's alot more faff then pills. But didn't have time to find/buy them today so went with it.

Eyes closing

L hasn't been cluster feeding tonight for the first time since he was a couple of days old. Bit worried he is going to start at midnight and go on till 5am! He seems very content, sleep-giggling which is obviously adorable but only a couple of feeds since 8pm rather than the usual 5-hr marathon. I probably should have had a sleep myself but I've been expecting him to start any minute!

Congratulations shelly and chunky

GT your doing an amazing job aswell

With clothes my LO wears a sleeveless vest then and all in one over the too with mittens and socks with a thin cover in the day and if we go out I add a snowsuit and hat and thick blanket --her tiny baby snowsuit is to small in the legs now so having to go for a cardigan/jacket with extra socks

Q when your LOs are hungry do you let them "have a good cry" before you feed them? As I keep being told to do but won't

First feed here hoping to get 3 hours between the next one

Nervous no way! I was talking to DH about this earlier, well lots of stuff about parenting styles and techniques, CC, sleep training etc. I think it's fair enough to start trying some of that stuff later on but for at least the first few weeks our main job is to give L as much security and comfort as possible, to teach him that Mummy and Daddy will always be here for him and give him the confidence that he is completely safe and loved.

Besides which, my uterus hurts when he cries.

Are you getting pressure to do otherwise?

YW I want a bf'ing snack tin!

blonder I agree. We sort of have a very loose routine to our day already but this is because DD's routine is already in place, so baby DS will have a bath when she does, and start the bedtime process sort of when she does. But it's only very vague at this stage, and DS is totally fed/changed/sleeps/cuddled etc on demand. Plenty of time to edge him into what suits me in due course and once he is finding his own pattern / natural rhythm to the days and nights. And I say that as a Gina Ford fan!

Sounds sensible, I hope L will find a routine and work out days and nights too! Sounds from Nervous's post that she is being encouraged to ignore crying deliberately which just seems mean at such a young age when they have no other means of communication. Even a few weeks later they will have their first few sounds and more mobility but for now they are little chicks waiting for Mama!

My prediction was correct and L started feeding at 12. So his day and night orientation is going backwards. Yay.

Nervous ill admit LO does cry a little by default. As by the time I spot the signs then get bottle ready he is at the crying stage.

I've given myself 6 weeks to adjust then I'm going to sort myself out. In terms of everything. Diet, exercise, controlled crying, sticking to a routine. ATM I'm just picking up & cuddling when crying n after feeds. He is to little let to cry it out. N I get emotional too! So hope my hormones settle by 6 weeks.

GT - it's 5 weeks at the evils house and my LO is still not sleeping during the night. He just won't sleep when he is surposed too!

SHMNBN hasn't been with baby evil, and being an evil he dosn't do rules. I suspect it has alot to do with me doing all those nights before my mat leave.

Any tips to move his body clock are welcomed.
Evil

Congrats Shellyy and chunky (and izzy and eliza if l?ve not said it before). Gt 6 weeks sounds a good time to introduce more routine though H is 7 weeks and has none

Got his Christmas present today ~ a highchair he can usse from birth to join us at the table ~ and because l want to do baby led weanning. Dh l am doing the clubcard exchange too ~ fab for the other DCs toys.

Going to try and get some sleep now.

Congratulations chick!

I want a breastfeeding tin too yw! I too am not really someone who loses all the weight by breastfeeding. Shame as I still have a stone to lose. I'll start some form of exercise at 12 weeks and from 6 weeks try to make sure I do a little walk each day so that at least I'm doing something.

We don't really have a routine here either and L is 3 weeks old today. He's only had 2 baths so far! I'm planning on initiating some bedtime routine from next week if I have the energy. Nothing during the day just a bath at a certain time in the evening followed by milk and music then bed. I'll then put the Moses basket in the bedroom rather than bring it downstairs to the lounge where the tv and lights are on.

I've no idea how I'll be able to do DS1 and DS2's bedtime on my own when all my help goes away (I've got 3 more weeks of my mum / MIL here to help with DS1).

Congrats also shelly!

evil DS1 didn't sleep through the night (7-7 with no dream feed) until 6 months so I'm not holding any hope of DS2 getting there anytime soon! I think by around 4 months he was sleeping from 7-7 with a dream feed at 11pm and one night feed at around 4am. Tbh, I'll be happy if DS2 does the same as I know of friends who've had far greater challenges with getting their LO's to sleep.

Thank you blonder, madam and GT

Yeh blonder I am getting abit of pressure to do otherwise, when LO starts to wake up and fuss I leave her for a few minutes until I know she's more awake then we have a cuddle and feed but MIL keeps telling me I need to leave her until she's having a good old cry otherwise she'll never learn and I'm making a rod fr my own back by feeding her so often and crying wont hurt her. Oh and that letting her cry is good lung exercise? . I haven't done this by the way! She's my newborn baby and if she's hungry I feed her why would I let my baby get so worked up and stressed when I know what she wants and I can give it to her. I did use to just say something on the lines of 'no I don't want her to get worked up" then the other day I turned around and said "I'm fed up of hearing about this crying stuff, she's my baby and I'm not leaving her to cry so that's the end of it really isn't it' but thought afterwards maybe I am doing it all wrong

Oops sorry for the long post thank you for your replys though

O my goodness he really has stayed feeding till 5am. Briefly put him in basket around 4 but he was crying again by 20 past. He's just come off the breast and DH has taken him so I can try again to sleep for a while.

Nervous it's that killer phrase - you're making a rod for your own back. Seems always to justify unnecessarily harsh behaviour. Yes good to get into good habits when possible but this early?

nervous somehow you have to find a way to ignore the nonsense. Why is it when it comes to babies the world thinks it is able to tell you what to do?! Very hard when it is PIL though, I still haven't mastered the art of contradicting mine, even when they blatantly ignore what they know I think, guess I don't want to be rude. Well done for saying something.

(MIL's latest was to give DD a fruit shoot, which DD loves and which I have tried and tried to get MIL to water down, to no avail, and then give her a second one, after I said no, by claiming that she, MIL, had drunk the first one, so it was ok. And somehow I only managed a weak smile, and subsequent rage to DH, rather than just saying no!)

Btw good for you for standing your ground and saying that - you're quite right.

Well done nervous on saying that to your MIL.

If I can pluck up the courage I'll use the same phrase with my MIL who thinks she is always right! She too won't let something drop if I don't follow her advice. At the moment I'm at the very weak smile and ignore stage but each time she brings the same thing up I get more and more frustrated.

Nervous that controlled crying thing is really old fashioned, it's practically Victorian! You follow your own instincts and if you want to start a routine wait until you're ready to do so. IMHO the problems is that people place additional weight on their own experiences. This is human nature and we all do it but it means whatever people did with their own children takes on extra significance. And after all, their children 'turned out all right' so whatever they did must be correct. Rather than seeing children as resilient and able to cope with their parents screwing things up from time to time which is the reality.

Sorry that shouldn't say controlled crying, it's too early in the morning. I mean letting them cry before you attend to them so they won't get 'spoiled'. Controlled crying is actually a great technique to use but it's really for older babies to encourage them to settle themselves, not for newborns that genuinely need to be fed every few hours.

Hi I've made it to the other side too! James was born on Sat morning after my waters broke on Wed and I was induced on Friday. It was a difficult labour due to syntocinon drip and him being large baby, 9lbs 8oz. Not sure how I feel about the birth yet, it was harder than my first which was also v long and difficult. Anyway he is here now and lovely. Trying to establish breast feeding. I forgot how sore it is. Everything is agony from the birth still, feel like I've been in a car crash. Bruised undercsrriage, stitches, can't lift my arms, massive piled can hardly sit. He is suckling but no milk in yet. V sleep deprived too for last 7 days due to 3 nights of contractions followed by one night of 12 hr induced labour followed by 2nights in noisy hot hospital with newborn. Must find a way to sleep as feel bit delirious still.

Agree with Stunt and would add that if you are ebf-ing you shouldn't be ignoring them until they scream, as it could affect your supply. And it makes them more difficult to latch on if they're all worked up, and they get windy.... the list is endless!!!

I am VERY lucky with my PIL (both sets generally). However, there are things the SMIL does with my DD that I wish I could say 'no' to, but often its just her playing with DD rather than going against specific wishes iyswim.

Debussy know where you're coming from regarding the undercarriage; I have a couple of stitches (fewer than last time thankfully) but had forgotten how swollen it gets down there!! Plus not long after, when I went for a wee, I found I'd let a little bit of poo out (without any idea that I had!!!) x1000 I just didn't have any strength or feeling in my pelvic floor muscles. It's coming back though already, & he's only nearly 15hrs old. Thank goodness.

I'm very lucky to have had such a quick, problem free delivery. Much calmer than with my DD. Feel SO much better. Still not sure I'd do it again though...