October 2011 - my, oh my, how the first years flew by!! It's birthday season!!

[MummyDuckAndDuckling]

So excited that the first birthdays are upon us! Will try get a copy of the stats..

[Scheherezade]

Hello all, signing in and out quickly. Absolutely run off my feet! Today was rhymetime group at the library then swimming (or rather, running round town trying to find somewhere to buy a swimsuit as I'd lost mine, and forgetting to try sports shops! THEN making it to the swimming pool), then running a few errands round town. Back home to make a pie with leftover roast stuff, plus some custard for a plum pie I made yesterday. Tomorrow we have a coffee morning group, blood test for me, playdate with a new mum friend I've made at the nearby soft play. Wednesday is the local country fair that I'm walking to; 2 miles down a country lane and back again! Or hour and a half sing and story session I should probably go to as we're signed up for it at the children's centre. And another playdate in the afternoon. Thursday is rhymetime at the local library (today was the big library in town) and then our village baby group in the afternoon, Friday is toddler group in the nearby town and food shopping!

I can't believe there was ever a time when we would spend weeks barely venturing past the garden gate.

As I am useless at cake making, I opted for taste over decoration so he just had a round 3 tiered banana cake, sandwiched together with jam and buttercream, coated an inch thick in very chocolatey white chocolate buttercream, with strawberries and blueberries to decorate. I liked it, anyway . Very impressed with those of you that are doing parties, I was far too terrified of that, and just opted for a couple of days out with family/friends!

[MummyDuckAndDuckling]

cheshirethe butterfly's were from eBay I clearly made them myself
Yeah I made the sponge start of the week then put it into freezer till Saturday morning. I made a Madeira cake as it was more firm than just a sponge and so easier to cut into a '1'. Icing was 'ready to roll' and the butterfly's were the edible rice paper stuff. Think they were only a few ££ on eBay. I think they really finished it off
Job went well today. Think it's something I'm really going to enjoy, just hope I can get some good hours out of it. I'm only bank staff so on a zero hour contract so it's only as and when there is anything so fingers crossed. I really missed S today though but she had a great morning with papa and then the afternoon with gran out in the garden (between the rain showers!). We are staying at my parents this week as I was dreading the thought of having to get me and her up, dressed and out the door by 7.30am to have her dropped off. This way she can sleep till when she wants and nothing it's rushed was also lovely to come home to my dinner made by my mum
sch sounds a crazy, fun filled week!
ed yay for the jacket bargain!!
engels have fun with the party planning! I really enjoyed making all the decorations. Just feels a bit more personal than buying everything. I made number '1' bunting for all round the dining room we were mostly in. Not sure if I have a clear photo of it but ill look and post on fb. I might put it all round her bedroom as I don't want to throw it away.. Her birthday tshirt was sent over from Canada. I put it on her after we got up in the morning and she was toddling around on it. Was to cute

[MummyDuckAndDuckling]

strike out fail at the start there

[strawberrypenguin]

duck glad job went well

scheh well busy week!

DH and I are off to the Harry Potter studio tour tomorrow while W has a fun day with my parents. Quite excited about it now although I feel a bit guilty about leaving W on a day I'm not working.

[EdwardorEricCantDecide]

Very sorry I need a non baby related rant! So feel free to skip next paragraph!
So things are definitely not any better with DH I told him this mornin that all problems wrongdoings aside in simply not happy and want to end it. He said he "can't afford to move out" I showed him a cheap flat nearby and told him what I would expect in maintainance, he replied "sounds great!" During the argument he blurts out how even his mum was suing how little I do in the house yesterday (she was here to watch kids while I was at work) the house was tidy and clean when she was here and always is! just not up to her ridiculous standards!

Then I go drop ds at nursery and nursery teacher pulls me aside and tells me "don't worry about C wetting himself its just a learning curve" I said yes I know I don't worry I know that he sometimes has bad days with it. She repled "it's just that his aunt (DHs aunt who also watches kids with mil) said that you get quite worked up about it" I am fucking furious that she could say something so stupid and untrue to a nursery teacher! I'm now worried they think I'm a terrible mother who screams/hits my kids when they have an accident which is just not true but who knows what she now thinks of me!
I am later on phone toSIL who I tell that we are going to separate and she begs me to go to counselling as she is just getting her life/business together now and was looking forward to spending more time with family!
I really just want to bloody scream. Who the fuck do they all think tey are?!?!?
And breathe!

[strawberrypenguin]

Oh ed (((big hugs))) feel free to rant away. Things will get better now you know whats happening it just won't seem like it right now. I would be pissed at aunt too but I'm sure nursery don think badly of you at all they were just trying to look out for you a bit (nursery that is). Look after yourself x

[strawberrypenguin]

Oh and just ignore your SIL (what is it with SILs anyway!?)

[EdwardorEricCantDecide]

Thanks penguin I have now calmed down a bit, I think I do have a bit of a paranoia when it comes to how people perceive me as a mother part of it is that I know I can be lazy and that I could do better than I'm doing but I think part of it is definitely paranoia at least I hope so and not that people genuinely think I'm a useless lazy parent

[sassy34264]

hi ed

im still in italy and wasnt going to post until i got back- but read your post and just wanted to say be careful. it might just be me being cynical- but mil is saying your house isnt up to scratch and sil is telling out and out lies to nursey to make you look like a bad mum. im thinking they could be planning an offensive to try and get dp to get custody/or more rights or something over contact.

dont mean to alarm you- could just be me- i dont know them like you do.

i wouldnt be able to resist phoning sil up and saying the nursery told me what you said, but its ok, cos i told um your a drunk/druggie/have mental health issues (delete as appropriate)

back on fri- my birthday tomorrow, so having a barbecue- will catch up as soon as possible.

[CheshireDing]

Ha ha how things have changed Scheh, glad you are never in now. You're only one step away from entering village cake baking competitions I think!

Now if you had posted that in AIBU Ed my response would have been to tell them to piss off . Also who the hell is MIL to say you could do more around the house?! Could her darling Son do more around the house to help you?!
I think Strawberry is probably right in terms of what nursery thought tbh. Can you say to nursery not to discuss things about C unless it's with you or DH? (don't know how realistic that is but just a thought).

Enjoy the Birthday bbq Sassy

[Penelope1980]

Rant to us all ed! You must! Especially if that helps you keep controlled and focussed in your interactions with your in-laws

[Scheherezade]

Oh ed wish I knew what to say :( Sassy makes a good point though.

Cheshire well at the village fair (it's actually a ploughing match, plus other things going on....) they have "Ladies Classes" (baking) which I was tempted by, as it's only 25p to enter but didn't want to upset the WI dynamics...! Don't worry, it's not entirely sexist, they have a special class for men to enter chocolate brownies....

[MrsHende]

Oh Ed .

You must rant here, as Pene said, especially if it helps you keep your head clear.

I hope Sassy is wrong but it's definitely worth keeping in mind (although, by the sounds of it, DH is only worried about affording living out of the house ).

On a happier note, I'm glad you and S had a good day duck!

I made a list of potential invitees to L's party...83! I think I may have to reconsider, grandparents only might be more affordable, not to mention more likely to fit in our wee flat !

[BuntCadger]

Fell off thread.

Sorry Ed to read what you are having to put up with. I do think Sassy may have sound advice there, although I'd very much hope it wasn't what was happening, it could be.

I'll try and catch up on thread, ds2 better now and settling well into school. J started in reusable nappies from today and I'm kicking myself for not trying them sooner (like with ds1 when a baby). Am considering baby number 4... Dh not said no and I don't know how I'd feel if he actually said yes.

[EdwardorEricCantDecide]

Thanks everyone, sassy I've been wondering where you were hope your enjoying Italy.
It was aunt that said to nursery SIL was just concerned about family breaking up and she ad the rest of the family not seeing kids. Which wouldn't happen. Aunt tends to just open her mouth and let her belly rumble. I had considered what sassy said though an I'm wondering wether I should talk to teacher again tomorrow and just explain what I do, do when C wets himself to show that I'm not "getting worked up" or do you think that would be creating an issue where there possibly isn't one?
We have definitely done it now though we are defo splitting. SIL came over tonight and talked through with me then H came in later and she mediated a little although its now virtually impossible for us to talk without shouting at this point. And by the end of it SIL was agreeing that we should split.
We have agreed to live as flatmates for a short time till finances are sorted and H can find a flat.
On the off chance that they are going on the defensive to get kids what can I do to protect myself? I do doubt that this is the case as H works such long hours that he'd need childcare 12 hours a day 5 days a week.

[MummyDuckAndDuckling]

Oh ed. Sorry you are going through such a tough time . Not sure how to advise you... Maybe speak with someone at citizens advice? Ultimately, dh would have to take you to court to argue custody (I think). But I really don't know! Understand what your saying about C and the nursery, but from my view, I'd take what the mother says over anything an extended family member told me. I'd find it rather odd from her!!
Happy Birthday to baby fleecy

Good to hear from you sassy!

pebble, lookout when do you both get married..?

[CheshireDing]

Is there not some privacy issue with nursery Ed and them discussing with a non-immediate member of C's family?

Don't know what to say other than Duck made a good suggestion about CAB, what about posting in the legal section here too?

Happy Birthday Baby Fleecy.

MrsH 83????????????!!!!!!!!!!! you better start baking now!

[EdwardorEricCantDecide]

It was aunt who brought it up with teacher
Teacher: C wet himself a cpl of times today so his own spare clothes are wet and he's wearing nursery clothes now.
Aunt: oh no problem, I don't mind but I know his mum gets quite worked up about it.

I wouldn't actually mind except that I don't get worked up at all, C wets himself I usually say "you need to tell mummy when u need to go" I have on occasion said " I know you can do better C you've done it before, just remember to hold it until you tell me"
Neither of which I think counts a worked up, surely ignoring completely doesn't help with training?

[CheshireDing]

Ah okay, I understand now Ed, not that that helps you of course. Hope things are a bit better, if possible, this evening.

Can I ask those of you with older children who you bf I am wondering what to do about P's evening bf. She only has bf now between bedtime and Midnight (so about 6.30pm-Midnight), the rest of the time she has regular food and water, (cows milk on her cereal).

Just wondering how to move forward now really to cutting out the bf, do I just start putting some milk in her bottle and giving her that at 6.30pm? Can't see how she is going to be fooled by that really

[strawberrypenguin]

Happy birthday to N (and A) ips I hope you have fun with N today and that today isn't too hard xx

[LittlePebble]

Morning all, happy birthday to all the babies who's birthdays I've missed.

ipswitch happy birthday N hope today is a good one for you all x

Ed sorry about H I'm sure things will be tough while until everything gets sorted so offering lots of virtual hugs and support. FWIW I wouldn't say anything more to the nursery staff they will be able to see your relationship with C is fine x

Wow so many walkers - E stands brilliantly but just goes down into a crawl anytime he wants to move.

Bunt glad DS is better. Wedding is only two weeks today, we fly a week on Saturday and life is manic! Work x2 + wedding planning + baby = stressed pebble! But looking forward to Italy (is it hot Sassy?)

Had my hen do last weekend which was great (although one of my bridesmaids was a bit OTT )

Haven't had any time to plan E's birthday I feel like a rubbish mummy. He's going to have his birthday in Italy 2 days before the wedding so we'll buy a cake out there.

Cheshire happy birthday to P for tomorrow x

[LittlePebble]

X post Strawberry! ( took so long to write mammoth post) how's W? X

[strawberrypenguin]

Hi pebble W's fine thanks, finally seems to have shifted the last of the cold he had. W's not going to have a big birthday either I'm actually working the morning of it I couldn't afford the time off :(
Wow 2 weeks to wedding is going to go so fast! You ready?

[LittlePebble]

No not really. Got last minute bits/ packing etc. and so much to do at work to prep for being away. But it's starting to get exciting now

[Penelope1980]

Hello! A is one the day after tomorrow and I am crazy excited, and keep thinking "this time last year ... " I even bought him a new outfit to wear Anyone else feeling a bit crazy with the 1st birthdays?