October 2011 - my, oh my, how the first years flew by!! It's birthday season!!

[MummyDuckAndDuckling]

So excited that the first birthdays are upon us! Will try get a copy of the stats..

Yes MD is right ibuprofen reduces inflammation so it reduces swelling in guns as well as giving pain relief, we swear by it for teething with E (currently has molars coming through argh!) x

Gums

As well as ibuprofen we use anbesol liquid. Smells like tcp but because its liquid not gel it gets absorbed by the gums very quickly (bonjela just slides off we found). N was crying over his porridge this morning (got 2 teeth coming through), i put anbesol on and he finished off his breakfast and mine with no problem

I am interested in your views on something ladies - was going to do an AIBU but chickened out. To set the scene, while A has some smart clothes, a lot of the time I dress him in cotton tracksuits trousers and cotton tops, and the odd roll-neck. This is because they're cheap, practical for creche, and I think he looks cute regardless. 2 of my sisters are known to make little comments about how I dress him - to the tune of "I would never dress my children in these clothes", although only 1 actually has kids. For one sister it's a bit of a running joke as her kids are very very well dressed and she has a dislike of roll-neck sweaters that we have joked about for years, although her comments about his tracksuits trousers aren't so funny to me.

The other sister has no children, but is very concerned about appearance. Yesterday, A and I were going to meet her new boyf for the first time. I said I'd dress A in something cute, she said "don't dress him in a roll neck and tapered tracksuit bottoms!" My feelings are starting to get a little hurt now and I feel judged and mocked. But at the back of my mind - I am starting to wonder - AIBU for dressing him in these clothes at all???

I guess at end of the day, he is your child and you can dress him in what you like. I understand the clothes for crèche, we had a boy who was in nursery full time and his mum had the same two outfits that she would rotate each day. Clothes do get wrecked in nursery so I wouldn't be sending S in in good clothes!

On the other hand though, I'm a bit 'anal' should we say about children and clothing. A family I nannied for couldn't give two hoots about clothing/appearance and so they would be dressed like absolute 'tinkers' when I got there in the mornings. I hate so say it, but I was sometimes embarrassed taking them out.

This is just my opinion though!!

And by tinkers I mean leggins that were full of holes at the knees, tops that were so stained they just belonged in the bin etc. but these were also two girls who had a bath and hair washed once a fortnight, hair brushed once a week and in general just didnt look very tidy. S has some jogging bottoms that she wears if we are just having a day in the house, but I do like to dress her up a bit smarter if we are going out.

I know I have kinda went way past your original question but I'd just smile, nod and ignore. A is very cute regardless of what he wears!

Ahhh go on do an AIBU Pene . 2 people who I know who have baby boys dress them in clothes similar to what you have described - one always seems to be wearing a Juicy Couture type outfit with the word "Juicy" on it.

I think go with what you like. I didnt want P out of baby grows in the daytime because I wanted her to stay a tiny baby and she looked so cute, now I do try and dress her in different stuff but I get lots of things for her off ebay. When we went to see the Juicy baby I think they didn't really get why at 3 months P was still in baby grows while theirs had little socks and t shirt etc on.

P doesn't really have any leggings but then another baby I know is always in leggings. Horses for courses and all that I reckon.

Thanks for the suggestions, DH thinks he has bought that gel today actually. I didn't know about the Ibuprofen so will get some as back up. It took 4 hours for her to final fall asleep on the lounge floor last night/this morning.

Strawberry how's things?

without the word "Juicy" I meant, God that would be weird.

I can't stand babies dressed in labels though, I just like cute little outfits

Fingers crossed for sleep tonight chesh

I took S into the pet shop this afternoon. She was running about knocking on all the fish tanks shouting 'hiya' at the fish. Thought we were going to be told to leave

11 hours sleep !! Shall we purchasing the anbesol liquid too if DH didn't buy it. He said he can feel 4 at the top now. One extreme to the other with this baby

Pen I think dress A in whatever he is comfortable in. I don't get much choice with E as he gets dressed in whatever he has been bought as presents by his GM's and GGM! So we have some combat trousers (I loathe) some roll necks and other apparel which is a far cry from the white company look I would have him in if I was rich but he looks cute in all of it.
I think your sisters are being a bit precious about it and I would use then mumsnet " did you mean to be so rude?" Each time they comment.

Cheshire yay for sleep - very envious.... X

pene, we tend to dress N in lots of comfy track suit bottoms, soft cord/combat type trousers and long sleeve tees. I like him to be in things he can roll about in easy, get mucky in, and that are cheap enough to replace when they do get stained/destroyed without breaking the bank.

He does have a couple of smart outfits (one less now since MIL took him to nursery in the one we had for our wedding ), but for me I just like him to be in normal comfortable stuff so he can get on with the business of being a messy little boy . I get a few comments from the ILs and I just smile and ignore.

Forgot to add, hooray for sleep cheshire!! On Friday N slept all the way through til 6.30! Possibly because I gave him calpol at bedtime and a liberal amount of anbesol in his gums :)

Pene As the others I say dress him in what you think he will be comfortable in. Seb's got quite a few fitted tracksuit bottoms and not overly smart cotton trousers that were hand-me-downs. He usually wears these with long sleeved tees or short-sleeved (bought for summer but too big then!) with long sleeve vest under. They are comfy/warm for him, cheap to buy/replace and easy to wash poo/sick out of. What's the big deal? I put Seb in a lovely matching outfit for his 2nd b'day party (2nd party, not 2nd b'day!) and he pooed all over the trousers after about 30 mins and spent the rest of the day in completely mis-matching trousers as we weren't at home and they were what was in the changing bag!

Mummy Seb is currently in Jasper Conran PJ's and sleeping bag. A grand total of about £7 off e-bay! (I didn't buy them for the label btw )

Cheshire yay

tally by labels I mean clothes that have the designer plastered all over them! Nothing wrong with a bit of jasper conran (and a bargain at £7!!)

I go for ease of changing come nappy time. Plus most of our clothes are second hand. I tend to buy a couple of tops I like when he changes size.

leggings are great, especially when they get a bit older, especially when potty training. I'm wondering if I will brave leggings for DS as it seems not the done thing. Personally I like them better than sweatpants. I think it is incredibly rude of people to say negative things about clothes though and I would pull them up on it i hope i would anyway. It would certainly get to me.

We're going through a good bit of sleep with DS if you ignore the being up late. A couple of feeds and generally settled sleep otherwise, except maybe once 5am hits.

He is amazing me with songs at the moment, he knows when to lay down and stand up e.g. ring a rosie and sleeping rabbits, for which he also bounces. Also attempts dingle dangle and the pointing as well as clapping in wind the bobbin up.

Sounds very cute cp

I'm loving this age/stage with S. the things she does that just has me laughing. She is obsessed with buttons/switches and has discovered the light on my bedside table. She stands just switching it on and off, but squeals with delight each time it goes on and off
And the washing, she loves pulling it all out the machine and then putting the things I give her into the tumble dryer. I walked into the spare room today where the clothes dryer is and found that she had helpfully 'hung up' all the dry things that I had just taken down . Just can't help but laugh and smile

Thanks for your views on clothes A has some lovely outfits, but his stay home default outfits are cotton, dull and usually second hand.

Mummy I love this age too. A's thing at present is reading, bringing books to me and DH and pointing at the books' contents speaking the odd recognisable word (down, car and truck) but largely in a language that only he understands. He's so cute. A loves the light switches as well as well as every socket in the house

Someone told me that this is the age we're our biological clocks and broodiness factor is meant to go nuts. I'd believe it!

Morning ladies.

Just back from a wedding in England. Slightly less traumatic than my sister?s wedding a few weeks ago (when we were all ill and DS was screaming from his molars coming through so only 4 sleep the night before).

Was a bit of a poo-fest though. Something (English food says DH) didn?t agree with him and he didn?t eat a lot Fri and Sat night and had runny nappies a few times ? had to put him under the shower and hose him down on Sunday morning ? there are not enough wet wipes in the world!

M managed to take a flying leap from a chair on the afternoon (we weren?t quick enough) and smashed his face into a coffee table so he has a lovely dark bruise across his cheek. We iced it and there was no bleeding

Spent yesterday afternoon with my parents, Dsis and Dbro though. Lovely for them to get to make a fuss of him and play with him.

He?s asleep upstairs now so I am putting the house to rights while DH goes to fill the car up and do the food shopping.

Pen ignore your sisters. I make sure that M always wears the cheaper stuff to nursery because it will get covered in mud, poo, food, paint and (occasionally) not find its way home (We have a lot of stuff from HEMA which is a bit like Woolworths, except everything they sell is own brand ? cheap and cheerful, and I?m not heartbroken if something gets lost or ruined). At home he tends to wear jeans, trackies, T-shirts, hoodies and jumpers. He has a few shirts that were gifts but apart from the two weddings we?ve been to, he hasn?t worn them.

duck I did read that, but I'll answer my opinion on fb tomorrow as am heading out now

I had it deleted as I put in S full name by mistake. The kind people at mnhq have sent me the message to save me typing again, so I'll copy it over shorty. My battery is about to go on phone

Ok, start again

Bit of a dilemma that I need opinions on...

For the purpose of this, I'll say S dad name is 'John'. So as I've mentioned on here before, he hasn't seen S now since she was 6 weeks old and last was in touch with me by a text apologising for everything back in January. There has been nothing since, not even on her birthday. This really upset/angered me and a month ago after a few to many drinks I text him asking why everything happened the way it did and it was obvious me and S ment absolutely nothing. Woke up the next morning deeply regretting it and hoped he wouldn't reply but also a little part of me hoped that it would prompt something. Anyway, it never so I just put it out of my mind.

Last week, his sister text me (no idea how she got my number) saying that her mum and dad (s grandparents) were wondering when I might think about letting them meet her. They have had no contact with me at all during pregnancy/1st year, apart from a message via John when I was a week before due date asking if there was anything they could buy for S. I politely said thanks, but everything was sorted. I haven't met them before, even when I was in relationship with John as he doesn't get on with them (ie sees once a year at a push etc). His sister fb me when S was born saying congratulations etc and couldn't wait to meet her. I said thank you, but never made plans as I felt it would be very awkward as John had made it clear to me he didn't want to see them so I'd be going myself with S.

So anyways, his sister was saying how they wanted to meet her and how S was 'obviously a 'surname' as she had all their family facial features' . I replied saying we were both good but I am sorry, I have no intentions of seeing them esp since her own father hasn't in a year now. No reply from her.

So then this morning, John texts saying he apologises (didn't say sorry) for everything that has happened over the past year, there isn't a day goes by where he doesn't think of S bullshit and he knows he has a lot to do to make it up to me, but he hopes I will text him back so we can talk..

As you can imagine my face was when I woke up to this. I've just message him back saying that I can't even think about him right now as I'm totally disgusted and as far as I'm aware, he doesn't deserve to know her. So far, no reply as yet.

So I need opinions on what you lovely ladies think. Words can't describe the hate I have for him for just abandoning his daughter like he did, but at the end of the day, he is still her father. He isn't on her birth certificate so I know 'legally' he can't just start throwing around demands.

I'm so confused as to what to think/say

Oh man, Mummy! That is a real dilemma.

I really don't know what to advise. My gut says, like yours I think, that frankly he can get lost and who does he think he is just texting now? Where was he during the sleepless nights, whenever there was a worrying temperature or rash, for hospital visits?

On the other hand, he is her father, well, biologically at least.

I really don't know. Does everyone deserve a second chance? But, it's S's life you're dealing with here and she must come first and not be mucked about.

I wonder if actually now is a pretty good time to deal with this. If you decide to give him a chance but he mucks up then S won't remember, whereas if she was 4 or 5 then she'd be totally confused.

It's totally unfinished business and I think that, no matter what you decide about S, you have to have it out with him so that you can rest easy knowing that you did everything possible for them to have a relationship and that your decision, whatever it ends up being, is the right one for S.

Is he a decent man who has made a bad decision? Or is he a baddie?