October 2012 babies - we meet them at last!

[YompingJo]

Getting thread in place in readiness!

We've got a Kari-me, couldn't get the tying right with the leaflet it came with, but this link seemed lots clearer
www.littlepossums.co.uk/information/stretchywrap.html
Think it's v similar to the moby x

I've got a hugabub - another stretchy wrap so basically the same as the moby and Kari-me. Love it.

zara I am so pleased to hear it. I really REALLY think you are making the right decision here and that this will make for a much much happier Mum and baby. My SIL was unable to get bf going and tortured herself over it for weeks and weeks. When they finally moved to formula their life changed infinitely for the better and she says she wishes she had done it sooner. Once the hormone haze liften she couldn't believe the pressure she had put on herself. As I said earlier, I didn't find it easy last time as ds1 fed so often and for so long all day and night. I managed about 5 months but can not describe the relief when we moved to bottles. Suddely we had a pattern to the day and he slept for much longer. I really hope you can feel happy about it now the decision is made. Much love to you.

cherry, yes! Don't worry. A pattern will emerge at some point and in the meantime, you are doing the exact right thing letting him lead. Don't fret. You will also learn his signals after a while and in a few weeks it wont be as simple as eat and sleep, but you will be able to read him. xxx

zara it sounds like you've made the very best decision for both your LO an yourself - you'll be much better equipped mentally and physically to look after LO so try not to beat yourself up about it.

Oh dear. An altercation with DH, just returned from India (flight delayed by 5 hours). Said I thought I'd try expressing some milk and see if DS would take a bottle and, if he did, thought I'd take DD swimming on Sunday.

His reaction: 'What about DS?'

'Well, I thought I could leave him with you for 90 minutes, if he'll take a bottle.'

'Well, it's a busy weekend...'

EVERY bloody weekend is busy for me. Every single hour is busy for me. I have never left DS and at this rate I never will until I have to go back to work. I do nights on my own because we agreed that I would if we had another child. Is this unreasonable? His objection is that I didn't ASK. I shouldn't have to ask! Grr.

zara excellent that you have a plan. Like someone else says it is what is best for your little family not anything else that matters.

cherry 5 hours is longer than I have ever managed. The only time I ever felt like I didn't know what I was doing with DD1 was when I tried to sleep train dd out of a book. It was a fecking disaster! Everything else was done by instinct. I would love to find a middle way as I think both ways have good points but I am guessing I will do what I always do and follow the path of least resistance at least in the short term. Lazy midget

Elpis I would hit the roof if DH said that to me! He is both of your's. Remind him that he wouldnt ever have to ask you to look after your children! Honestly, men just dont think sometimes do they?!

Had a quick read but baby is stirring after a champion afternoon nap in which time I got some writing done in a nice cafe over a latte looking out at sea and then got about 10,000 small jobs done - hurrah!!! So can't complain about her waking but sending hugs to all and Zara I think you are doing exactly the right thing - I could cheerfully break that lactation consultant's face on your behalf, silly bitch - can't believe she said that to you And ditto london on that midwife. Who are these utter twats who are supposed to be on our side and there to support us?!

Anyway... . Zara you might find this Kellymom stuff on How to wean useful, especially the stuff on Mum's comfort during weaning.

Right, bean is moving and the mouth is doing the goldfish - in search of the boob! Off I go xo

And Elpis big sympathy on DH nobberness!

Elpis I hope that was a bit of jet lag talking.... Husbands can be such total nobbers...

if you have time to read and need a giggle

zara I'm glad you feel a bit better and have reached a decision. You have done amazingly well and no one would blame you for switching if that's what you end up doing. You've already gone above and beyond what most would havd done. I find expressing so painful I can't imagine having the perseverance to do it as much as you havd done. I was thinking - if you really want your little one to have breast milk could you use donated milk? I don't know if you'd find it weird or not but I was asked if I wanted to donate milk when I was in the clinic and was really keen to do it until they realised I was British and therefore can't donate my milk or blood as I might infect the French with mad cow disease?!

Question.. Did anyone here have their boy circumcised?

Quick q - am resorting to infacol tonight for the first time. Instructions say give one dropper - do they mean a whole pipette or just one drop?

This better work otherwise we're in for a looong night...

Smorgs. I give a whole dropper at each feed, working on the prevention rather than cure theory. Hope it works for you.

Zara. Delighted that you've made a decision and sounding calmer. It sounds like absolutely the right decision. Now you can get on with enjoying your little boy.

Elpis. Grr on your behalf re DH.

We had our 10 day weigh in today and she's now 3.4kgs (vs 3.080 at birth) so she's making progress. I have found it a hugely frustrating day with her incredibly sleepy at each feed, going from wide awake to asleep in under two minutes. Argh. I am struggling with parenthood and finding it frustrating, overwhelming and, frankly, a slog. That sounds incredibly heartless, I realise. I'm hoping as she grows and becomes more interactive, things will improve. This too shall pass, right?

Has anyone been using a dummy yet? Babyhoney has happily been switching between breast and bottle while on scbu so I think he'll be ok. We mainly want to use one at changing time as he really doesn't like it but calms down if we give him a finger to suck. Which is fine when DH is about as there is a spare pair of hands but I'm on my own tomorrow and need a backup!

Livvy, I often feel exactly the same- it's just relentless.
Zara, great news- hope you feel better now a decision has been made. You are doing the best for your baby. The same decision will be made in our house at some point too, it's just a question of when. At the moment I'm feeling able to stick it out for now, so we'll see.
Went to Westfield shopping centre today. Baby facilities are awful- nowhere decent to change and nowhere to feed at all. Is anywhere newborn friendly?
We had a weigh-in too- back to birth weight at 12 days! Really happy with that, particularly in light of the continuing jaundice and bf problems. We are now into a routine of 15 minutes at the breast plus a top up of 40ml expressed milk at each feed. It's still difficult with the constant pumping and the need to make sure she gets enough because of tha jaundice, but I think we're slowly getting there. In a couple of weeks when she's less orange I'll feel better letting her lead the way with feeding, but for now we're sticking to a schedule and feeding plan.

My ladyparts are still really sore. Bleeding almost gone, but still hurts to sit down- and I didn't even have any stitches. When will I feel better? Still quite traumatised every time I have to poo.

Hope you all have a decent night. We seem to have one good then one really bad. Either me or my husband will usually cry at some point and the other will take over. We figure that as long as we don't melt down at the same time, we're doing ok. I'm just sick of having to attach myself to a pump every fucking 3 hours on the dot. The Philips pump I have is a pile of wank so I've hired a nice hospital grade Medela one which will arrive tomorrow. Actually quite excited.

Thanks for your sympathies re. midwife's comments. Am still pissed off, but I think it's really stupid. Even if it were true, how does it help to say it? If I wasn't married to such a great man, he might have assumed I was just making a fuss about nothing and stopped giving me such good support. Fortunately he just thought she didn't know what she was talking about.

livvy new technique for rousing sleepy feeder- it is a wee bit mean, but i have found that when I lie him down on top of our quilt (which is quite cold) this seems to wake him up! How is your night going? Xx

Thanks for asking, Bella. Mixed. Fed at 11, fought sleep for 40 mins afterwards. Woke at 230, fed for an hour, then awake again 545. I am so, so tired. Had a sobbing fit last night. How the hell am I supposed to cope for the next 6 months/ two years/20 years? I had no idea parenting would be this hard. and now she hasn't slept much tonight, she'll want to sleep all day and thus its a bloody vicious cycle.

DF suggested that we make up a bottle so he could help, bless him. But I don't think it is a solution as he is back at work on Monday and so it would only be a one off solution. Sigh.

I honestly thought I would enjoy motherhood more than this. I'm feeling horribly depressed and don't know how I'll cope over the coming weeks. Sigh.

Hi, i normally just lurk, my baby boy was born 11 days ago. i just wanted to give you some words of encouragement livvy. i totally sympathise as have a bit of a limpet baby that laughs in gina fords face. i know its so tiring but it will get better and yoir routines will develop they jist do so in theor own time. i was determined to do routine from day one but the reality is so different.......
grab a kip in the day when they sleep and know that at 5am you are not on your own!
x

Morning

londonlivvy thanks for your infacol tip, sorry last night was so could you tough. An hour feeding seems like a long time does that include burping? Could you latch her off and see if she's really still hungry? Sorry I don't know much just trying to think what could help. Are you getting naps in during the day? I find it helps if dh takes the baby for a walk so I'm not listening out for cries.

Ours had a complete evening meltdown screaming the house down the only thing that vaguely calmed was bouncing on Swiss ball and then only so he could draw breath to scream louder it seemed. I sheepishly went to bed at 10 to get some shut eye before the long night ahead and dh gave him an expressed bottle and infacol at about 11.30. Then he fed at 1, 4.15 and just feeding again at 7.15ish so not too bad but the settling to sleep after feeds still takes a while. Was it the infacol? Not sure, but glad to have it on standby anyway.

Oh and thanks for the sling recommendations keep them coming

Hugs Livvy. I too hav had a shitty shitty evening and night. But yours sucks more as you are feeling so down about it all. Hang in there chicken. Your DH is not far wrong, I too was considering formula top up last night. But then concerned about engorgement! But carrying on instead. Half convinced DS has tummy prob. So noisy inside, never comfy and 3 massive poos overnight.

Thinking of you, hoping you got some sleep eventually

Smorgs your night sucked too. This will all become a memory sometime, wish that would come faster tho!!

Urgh. 7am. Day should be starting. Just want to stay in bed.

Hugs all round xx

thanks midgetm and springersmum for metanium tip. Bought some yesterday and think it's starting to calm already.

smorgs Yes, tricky in loos with a pushchair. Disabled loos easiest if available and using a sling leaves your hands free. But fine to leave baby strapped in pushchair outside the cubicle. How you'd manage in one of those French squat toilets, I have no idea...

DH is nobberish about child care. Thanks for sympathy. To his credit, he's dropping DD off at preschool five mornings a week when not abroad etc. but it is hard to rebut the 'you were the one who really wanted children' line, and it makes me very sad as he dotes on DD, even if he lacks imagination when it comes to entertaining her.

On the baby-rage topic, I'm ashamed of the times I've cracked with DD - standing over her cot as she screamed in the middle of the night yelling WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME YOU ***, dressing her quite roughly because I wanted to punish her... There's a point when you're half-asleep that's quite dangerous - sleep deprivation is literally a form of torture, and so is constant loud noise. That's why I'm co-sleeping, really, as well as a certain commitment to attachment parenting. When he feels so small and vulnerable and close it's harder to be furious with him.

This may not work for anyone else, but DS likes to lie face down on my tummy and chest while I stroke his back with continuous downward strokes, two-handed. It tends to calm him fairly quickly.

Is anyone else longing for a holiday? I know flying would be awful and anyway DS hasn't got a passport yet, but I long to be swimming off a Greek island while they play in the sand...

londonmrs Congratulations on making it to Westfield - the place bloody terrifies me without a baby, let alone with . Surprised baby facilities are so poor. With those kinds of places - and museums, parks etc - I try to check the website first so I know if there's a changing room and roughly where it is. It's lovely if there's a dedicated place to feed, but honestly, you can feed ANYWHERE. The only problem is discretion, and a big coat helps. I've never had a negative comment about it and I've fed in trains, buses, stations, galleries, my mother's wake, you name it. Please never ever feel that you don't have the right to feed a baby in a public place!