Evening ideas with a young baby

[Oscaro]

Hi - I wonder if anyone can help. I'm due to give birth to my first baby in September. My boyfriend works permanent nights and I have found that evenings in on my own can be quite lonely. I would like to find something that I can do on an evening with a baby. I've tried searching for mother and baby groups in the evening and can find none. My friends with children are all at home in the evenings with their husbands/boyfriends so aren't available to keep me company. I'm not looking for something that goes on until late at night - just some ideas for early evening maybe once or twice a week to break the night and loneliness up. Any thoughts anyone???

Babies tend to go to bed for the night fairly early which is why there aren't any organised activities. My advice would be to make sure you do as much as you can during the day in terms of groups etc then use the evening to relax.

After a few weeks old, babies are usually in bed around 6.30-7. New mums are normally so exhausted they are usually in bed themselves 15 mins later.

Sleep. The most precious gift. It will be all you want to do

haha thanks - I don't want to attend groups during the day as that will be the time myself and baby get to spend with dad/boyfriend. I just need something that will stop me feeling so lonely after that. Aside from sleeping any thoughts on what can keep me from feeling so lonely of an evening with baby asleep? I'm not really a TV or internet person

Try not to dismiss ALL day groups - it's a really intense time for all and most groups, activities etc only last for an hour or two at most and it's really good to be with other parents and babies to get a sense there are others going through whatever's happening for you. DP/dad will often either welcome the space and/or do some of the house stuff that there's never enough time for with a baby...

In the evenings, you will REALLY want to sleep, especially in the first few months so by the time you've sorted things out, you'll be in bed... A few months in, you may have met some other people in the same boat thro groups who you could ether chat to in the evening or, if one of your babies is REALLY easy, even go round and see.

Can I recommend just seeing how you get on with baby first? He/She could be colicky. You will most probably be utterly exhausted beyond belief.

However.....if you arent, DH and I, when DD was tiny used to get her ff to sleep in the pram and then wheel her to our local (a nice gastro, not a whippet and racing post kind of pub) fr a meal and a drink. Maybe you could set up a standing date with a pal for early evening meal out?

I/we actually went to people's houses in the evening after the first few weeks. DS is a nightowl, so we could stay out 'till ten, as long as we were somewhere he could cluster feed!

You should reconsider baby groups -you could attend groups in the day with your DP. You will both make friends. Baby groups are how I know pretty much everyone I know locally, and I have a fabulous network of friends made through DS. Some have become very good life long friends (eg DS is now nearly 4, and I have asked one of these friends to be baby DD's godmother). Even if you have plenty of friends locally now, priorities and friendships change once you have had a baby and it is always useful to know people with children the same age as yours. Plenty of dads at the various groups we go to.

Thanks everyone - I think you're right about going to the groups and meeting other mums, perhaps some of them will be in the same boat as me or I can build friendships with those who don't mind evening visitors.

I just find it quite lonely now spending all my evenings alone and was worried that adding a baby to the mix would make it worse and I would feel even more isolated

Also - won't your DP need to sleep in the day? I'd start by registering at your local Surestart Children's Center and taking it from there.

Mumsnet in the evnings, tis great. Good company and no need to get out of your pjs.

Plus you can MN while baby is attached to the boob which is what they like to do most in the evenings.

Gnocchi speaks the truth.