Dec 08 Mums - still biffing on

[LadyThompson]

Yes, yes, it's a bit lame. I wanted to say: "Still fucking on!" but wary of causing offence....

I know 'biffing' is a bit PG Wodehouse, as well. You'll just have to humour me

Darling Beans, so sorry to hear the news about your beloved dad. He sounds like a fine man. Sending love to you all XXXXX

Hello just coming on to say so sorry to hear about your dad beans. Lots of love to you and your family. So glad you got there to see him xxx

Oh Beans, I am sending you lots and lots of love. I had just that mixture of pain and relief when my Dad died. So pleased you got to say goodbye and he knew he was loved so much to the very very end. xxxxxxxxx

So very sorry to hear about your dad, Beans. Thinking of you and your family.

Oh my lovely Beans, I knew this time was coming as with everyone else, and was hoping I could think of something helpful to say, but I'm a blank. It hard to have to give you my sympathy as I don't want you to be sad. All my love wonderful Beans and big cuddles for your little birds. I'm sorry this has come when DH is so busy, has your nanny started. How is your mum? And on a different note how is your cute puppy settling in.

Won't go into it too much as its not really the time, but had a lovely child free weekend away with DH in Amsterdam. It was the first time we have been away from the boys since DS1 was born, so over 7years. They did really well, and had a whale of a time at a friends house for two nights. And DH did really well to plan a nice relaxing weekend in a lovely hotel, and a spa day.

I just passed on my copy of WMD to a friend who is struggling a bit with her second baby (but then he's barely a year younger than her first, which is asking for trouble ) and it made me think of you all and how wonderful our basket is. I'm not around nearly as much as I'd like to be, but it's a real comfort knowing that when there are things to talk about (happy or sad, major or trivial) you lovely ladies are always around to listen, empathise and offer a hug or a gentle kick up the bum as required. So Beans it's your turn in the big Dec 08 basket of love at the moment, but we've all been in there at one time or another and it's a great testament to us all that it's held us strong for nearly four years! Not very good at saying what I'd like to here. You know what I mean though.

Beans I'm so sorry. He won't be in pain anymore and you'll have him in your heart forever.

I would love to hear about your new puppy. I've a plan to get one once dd2 is at primary school. A while yet so lots of time to convince DH.

Beans I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family.

I'm off to Mum's at lunchtime and won't be back until Sat night (when I have to attend a rather deadly work do of DP's) but if you're checking in Beans, hope you are getting through the days. And your Mum. There's always quite a lot to organise I know, which is a good thing.

Anyway, might have to do my catch up at Mum's, which will be interesting as I will only have my phone.

More and and especially

Hello! Just peering in to say hello and to tell you my pecker (not in penis sense) is firmly up and am busy bee, but coping ok!
Be on again soon. Who knew death could cause so much busyness?? But it's good to be occupied and getting things sorted. Us daughters have clearly inherited Dad's anal organised tendencies! The control freak gene is strong in us! X

Morning,

Beans, I am glad you are coping ok. Your puppy is absolutely gorgeous!!! Thinking of you.

I have woken up with terrible backache. I need to be better for Saturday as I have to carry DD around London in the sling. I'm going to be really cheesy and go to all the landmarks and take pictures of us.

Hope everyone is ok.

Beans - I'm so happy you are feeling chipper and keeping busy. I think in the immediate aftermarth of a bereavement you can experience real highs and lows: moment you feel strangely fine and moments you feel utterly lost. My experience was that it is a rollercoaster and you just have to let it wash over you (horrible mixing of metaphores there, if a rollercoaster washed over you I suppose you would be in a very bad way indeed).

Kayz - How is the back this morning. I hope it improves for your London trip.

It is exceptionally quiet on here. I need company girls and you are driving me to an antenatal thread to get it! I miss you all! I am feeling nauseated and very sorry for myself at the moment. In fact I think the morning sickness is slightly less severe than the last two times but it is still horrid feeling queasy and tired all the time. I feel like I am not coping well with any part of life: I can't give my all at work (when I really need to be on the ball at the mo), I can't socialize and I miss my friends, I can't exercise, I am snapping at the kids all the time and I barely treat DH like a human as I only see him at night when I am exhausted and on my way up to bed (in the spare room because the smell of him keeps me awake...). Its all a bit miserable. I know it is for a good cause, and I am luckier than many who have terrible sickness, and it should be temporary etc etc etc BUT none of that help cheer me up in the here and now.

Moan over. I am boring even myself. I am home alone today as was up all night feeling rubbish and could not face the Tube this morning. Some one come and chat about non-pregnancy related things with me. Pretty please?

Hello,

Beans Its good to hear that you are doing okay. Am thinking of you. Agree with RT about the highs and lows. DH was very much like that for a good while after his Mum died. I'm glad you have your gorgeous girls and new puppy to give you something to smile about. Much love to you.

Kayz Hope the back gets better for your weekend.

RT Poor you! I was lucky in that I never suffered from morning sickness. It sounds utterly vile for you at the mo. Althoughg I find this weather and this time of year in general is exhausting for me at the moment. I seem to rush around everywhere getting very little done. And then am exhausted by early evening and in bed by 9pm! Rock and Roll...

One of my reasons for my absence was the fact that the start of the new school term saw DS pick up where he left off. I have literally been weeping with despair and haven't felt much like posting. Its been horrid. However, we bought a couple of guinea pigs about 3 weeks ago and threatening to stop DS holding/stroking/cleaning out/feeding them has turned him into an angel in comparison. Seriously! Even his pre school teachers threaten to take his 'guinea pig time' off him and he can pretty much snap out of his temper straight away! It's a huge relief knowing that they can see the good in him and he isn't the devil-child they were thinking he was.

Right I'm on my lunch at work so best get back to it but promise to be about a bit more. I really did miss you all....

Beans, so glad you are sounding ok, and getting things done. I haven't really kept up my end of the bargain to ramble, but I guess I forget you could be reading but not feeling like posting, so sorry about that. Service will resume shortly!

RT, gosh I feel for you. I was miserable with various things in pregnancy, but in the grand scheme of things, it's only one more stint of about 7 months or something, which is nothing (I know seems like an eternity) and it will be well worth it, and then you won't have to endure that again (assuming you don't want 4) and you'll only have to worry about *potentially not having sleep for the following 2 years or so enjoying your new lovely little baby! ( sorry!)

*Note, I said potentially, as you could be blessed with LadyT type user friendly sleepers!

Deids, Glad the guinea pig bribery is working with DS. I resort to bribery with everything these days.
DS is fairly bribable but DD is another story. DH has been letting DS play a little more PS3 Gran Turismo than I would like and subsequently he has become obsessed. What hope do I have though when I say to DH "I don't mind him on the Ipad or watching the odd Team Umizoomi episode as it is usually educational to some degree (even dd has learn't loads from the ipad) but Gran Turismo on Play Station is literally just learning to race cars around the track - hardly learning anything" and DH replies "I think that's a very important skill to have" with the most shocked face

Well not having the car and attempting things on foot / buggy has proven impossible (swimming lessons and other kids stuff) and DH needing me to do post office and banking things at short notice has not really worked so the purchasing of new car was moved forward 6 months and we picked up said new car yesterday! Yipee, I feel very lucky. Had to get the train with both to meet ds there due to car seat issue, and all started off fine as kids pumped about bus to train then changing trains etc, but after 5 mins of the 2nd train ride, novelty wore off and DD turned into devil child. Seriously, my hat goes off to anyone who regularly use public transport rather than being able to stuff 2 kids in a car. Plane rides are ok as they can't get off the thing or open a door but I'm absolutely terrified about kids on train platforms etc.
However my next (and still ongoing) problem is DD and her undoing her seat belt while I'm driving. I've tried everything, and I'm about one step away from driving to the police station and having a policeman in uniform tell her off (which I read on another MN thread worked!) I have to pull over about 3 times between our house and nursery Anyone got tips? She can even undo the "Houdini lock" I bought to stop her at least getting shoulder straps off

Oooh and in eBay news, after saying that clothes don't sell unless Boden, I have managed to go on an eBaying frenzy and now sold over £120 worth this month!! but in that were 2 high chairs. The P&T ones seems to go crazy. Someone bought my newest one (I had 2) for £27 and you can get them new at Kiddicare for not much more with free postage - talk about bidding war!

Right, waiting for British Gas, then gotta go and do boring admin stuff.....

Rubes DD was a shocked for squirming out if her straps in the car seat. I used to pull it so tight but she would still get her arms out. I never found a solution but she did grow out if it.

Ebay..I've had a clear out & have made about £80 so far this month. It amazes me what people buy. I sold a Next summer coat that was DD's for £14, it was only 20 ish new. Surprisingly toys are selling as I think people are trying to bag a pre Xmas bargain. Oh well, its clearing a space for me to fill with new crap come DS's birthday.

Yay for the new car, Rubes! I am useless on public transport with even one child, so hats off to those who manage it regularly. Although I suspect that if you do it often, it's less of a novelty for them, and they're less likely to play up, iyswim. And top news on the ebaying.

Deids that is really nice to hear about DS's preschool teachers being on board with guinea pig bribery. It shows that the fiendish behaviour isn't really that ingrained, which is a relief when you're up to your eyeballs in attitude. Don't suppose it would work with goldfish?

Beans I'm glad you're doing ok. As others have said, being up and down is quite normal at this time, but glad keeping busy is helping.

RT that all sounds miserable, even if it won't last forever. I am happy to chat all number of non-PG related things. Podcasts? I have gone Radio4 tastic on the podcast downloads at the moment, and loving Friday Night Comedy, DID and Woman's Hour. Also like THinking Allowed, not sure if it's on at the mo?

Am busy with book preparations, applying for jobs, etc. DP has a poss interview for one next week, he's not mad keen on it but Cheggers can't be boozers in this economic climate I guess. It's also in East Grinstead, so not too far away - about a half hour drive on a good day.

Found out that one of my new mum friends in the village is also an MNer. I know I can't ask her nn, but I do wonder if we've ever conversed virtually as well as "live"...

One of my new friends here is one of the MN chat monitors! Quite weird!

Shocking stuff about Jimmy Savile. I am going to sound like a "Told you so" wanker, but he always looked so disgustingly dodgy, I hated him. It means Justin Lee Collins has had a fairly easy ride of things with the media as a result.

Puppy doing well. Seem to have daytime outside poos sorted. Luckily DH does morning times with her, so he has to deal with the crap in her cage. Ha! I spend a lot of time with poo scooper in the garden. Joy. Wees are hit and miss.

RT, you're having a time of it, poor you. It gets better, I seem to remember...

Feeling a bit blue today - highs and lows, as you said!

X

Yay! You are all appearing, lovely!

Rubes - what car did you get? Could you bride DD? Maybe say she gets a sticker or a sweet at the end of each car journey for which she keeps her straps on. Is she old enough to understand that concept?

Deids - I love guinea pigs. Are the kids actually caring for them ir do you do all the work? Im glad that bribery is working for BarlowBoy. Is he still v good at home?

Beans - Your dog sounds divine. Do the girls treat her well? And do you now have a date for your father's funeral? Didn't he help you plan it?

Spot - Are you feeling more settled in your village (with your RL/MN friends)? Do you still hope to leave?

podcasts are a good idea. I realised today that I have a very limited no. Of websites I visit and I am sure there are great blogs and sites out there which I'd love. At the mo, if i am bored, I just aimlessly flick between this thread, MN active combos, FB, twitter and the Guardian site. That's it. I never visit any other part of the web.

Beans, on the Jimmy Saville business, living near Scarborough I and quite a few other friends met him on a few occasions. He was a really creepy old perv. He never did anything but it was the way he looked at you and the things he said.

We made the mistake of getting our puppy in December, toilet training in snow is not nice. The great lump of a dog is 2 on Saturday.

Dieds, we are toying with the idea of guinea pigs. My mum had some that were lovely.

Rubes, Tell us about the car. We are buying a new one soon and I know nothing about cars and buying them.

DS2 is a bugger for getting his arms out of his straps. I borrowed one of those things that is meant to stop them from doing it. Still got his arms out. He doesn't do it now as much but he can undo the straps. So as soon as we stop he lets himself out.

My back is still aching. It's so ruddy annoying.

RT, yes its mainly me that looks after them, ie putting food in and fresh water daily. But they are pretty easy to look after. DS helps me do a full cage clean and is great at cuddling them. He's incredibly gentle, which is rare for him! They are very cute, especially when they talk to each other (yes really) and actually have their own little personalities. We did buy a massive outdoor run/hutch. But they were so tiny when we got them I wussed out and now have a massive indoor hutch for them! They don't smell so currently reside in the conservatory.

Oh and yes DS is a treasure at home! The usual sibling spats but good on the whole.

DD has a friend round. They are pretending they live in a rainforest but "a proper one not like the Amazon!" Ha ha, I spat my coffee out when they asked for some Lady Gaga on as they needed music to cook in their rainforest. What is that school teaching them?!

Hi Deids, that's hilarious re Gaga! Yes it's not just the shoulder straps, she just pops the red button open, and thinks it's a game. I've just got back from the post office and a few short trips and for a short while we were following a police car so told her if she undoes it, the policeman will pull us over and tell her off, and low and behold she was really good. That said, we only drove about 5 miles. Well done too on the eBaying - I find it quite therapeutic. I hate clutter, plus it earns you cash! Will try some toys if that's the case. Just have to make sure kids aren't around if it's a collection only!

Yes RT tried the bribing thing too but hasn't worked much. I did however give them ice cream at the shop as she was really good for all of that 10 mins in the car.

Hi Spot! yes agreed, I think it's novelty value. If they had grown up on it they wouldn't be so hyper and excited and all that. DS was really good, in fact dd was until the 2nd train (only 20 min) as she needed a nap and it was well past it.
Good luck to DH with his job interview. I really think you should look over this way too

Hate dh's new place of work. 3 x per week until 8pm and with an hours commute not home until gone 9pm those nights. 1 day off during the week to compensate, but still.

That must be hard Rubes. I sometimes think it is harder than having a DH who is away. I know he isn't coming home but you have to sit and wait for him to turn up, having the DCs asking where Daddy is etc.

It is war weekend here this weekend. Which is why I am going to London, I like 2012 much more than I like 1940!! DS1 has to dress up in WW2 appropriate clothing. He has a flat cap!

that's one way to look at it Kayz, but I think its really hard having your dh away such long stints.
He's just rung now on his way home, and basically had to go as he has to listen to audio lectures on his commute, for exams, and then I know when he gets home, he'll eat, do work for his other job, and then read more for his exams until about midnight. I do get it, just sometimes the lack of a normal night where it's not eat and back to work (from home) wears thin. He's not the best communicator at the best of times, and never remembers to check which nights he's on late until literally a couple of days before so hard to plan. I think the kids are used to it sadly, but at least it's not forever. They are usually much quicker to get fed, bathed and in bed by 7ish when its just me as they become a little giddy if DH is home and act up.

DP didn't even get an interview. He thinks it's because he didn't seem very interested at the prospect. Have to work on his "whelmed" expression.