October 2011, the three C's crawling cruising and chatting

[LittlePebble]

Thanks Mama for the title. A new thread hopefully everyone will find us again.

over I hope H is better soon, we're still getting puke stains out the carpet here! And get well soon mama and sassy
I'll have a look at the launch pad thing, anything that makes mornings easier can only be a good thing, I get up at 6 as it is and tbh am barely coping with work 5 days a week and a non-sleeping baby. Something has to change of I will have a breakdown, so having a chat with the boss tomorrow.
bb sorry the first op didn't work, any idea when the next one will be? Hope he's ok
Sorry things aren't going too well grey. I agree with lovin in that it is very difficult to deal with more than one addiction at once. I see many patients who quit smoking, pile on weight and try to diet at the same time and they are almost always the ones who relapse. The difficulty is always getting them to see they have a problem to start with. Hope things get better for you soon

scheh famous or notorious?

she thinks shes 21! she sneaked out with make up on tues. MY BLOODY MAKE UP- MY ONLY JUST BOUGHT IT, BRAND NEW, I HAVE BUGGER ALL, MAKE UP. ARGH.

and breathe.

erm- i dont know you tell me?! hehehe.

actually, it wasnt going well, i have lots of side effects- aggression, im noticeably drugged up, my brain is even more foggier, instead of worrying about the house being a state, i now dont care im finding it difficult to get up in the morning- whereas i didnt before, ive had a suicidal thought (which the doc said wasnt really the kind of one he was concerned about ) AND (the worst side affect of all) the drug is one given to anorexics to stimulate appetite- god ive eaten loads- hence why i stayed out of the food discussion.

its one good side effect is it makes you fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.

bet you wish you hadnt asked!

doc says it will bed down soon (it feels better today, done quite a bit of housework) but i can stop and go back for a different type at any point.

Thanks LBM that makes a lot of sense and I do think I do that some days more than others, so on a good day I feel really happy and can see everything DH does on a bad day all I can see is drinking and irritating me some way or other I just dont know how the cycle of a bad day starts if it's me who's already in a bad mood and sees him as irritating the no moan at him then he drinks or if it's that I know he'll want to drink as its the weekend that puts me in a mood I'm hoping the counselling can help with that.

We are now going to have to work money differently I've just worked out that after paying my half of bills and my own petrol for the month I have £2 dispensable income genuinely didn't realise I was that skint am properly depressed now!

grey sorry to hear about your DH drinking too much. It's hard to define excess drinking when everyone's doing it or there are always events on. My rule of thumb based on nothing but observation so probably not worth much is it depends on how your DH/anyone else copes when for whatever reason they can't drink. i.e. if he is the sober driver, or on antibiotics, or whatever other reason. I have people in my family and friends who drink wayyy too much but some of them are still OK if they can't drink in a situation when everyone else does, whereas about three or four friends (who I suspect have problems) will not have a good time at all if they've stayed sober.

i dont know what everyone does and it is a personal choice, but i dont agree with paying half of the bills, if you earn less money.

i think a fairer way is to take the two incomes, and see what percentage the smaller income is to the larger income. so for example if the smaller income is only 30% of the larger, than you pay 30% of every bill. the person with the larger income still has a larger disposable income, but the smaller income has a better disposable income too iyswim.

i know the ultimate share, should be all the money in the pot, bills taken out and then the money thats left gets split equally, but some, myself included, like to keep my money separate. it is an indivdual relationship preference.

i dont have a joint account with dp. he puts money into my account and i get cb. i dont use it to pay any bills as such, but i will buy food from the corner shop, pay for clothes, and sometimes things for the house. most of the time i let it build up and then end up paying for something big- like the back yard, being turned into a garden.

I did sassy's way in start of relationships but once married we were 50:50. Bills all out of one joint account, them amounts transferred/left into personal accounts (one each) and savings (at least one each in sole name). Naturally the past few years only one of us has been working and we don't have enough money for savings, but the same principle applies. We then have a separate budget to pay for children's things so that it doesn't come out of the SAHP's allocation.

In reality atm, we don't have enough money to really buy personal things, it is normally just household stuff split into different person's budgets and our personal money after a week or so in the month tends to get amalagated. Any time we have had extra in we've discussed what to do with it.

I got DS to sleep in his cot today, however I completely and utterly cheated by climbing into the cot with him and laid there until he was off We are moving into unswaddled terrority but into mostly co-sleeping to start with.

that's what we were working out sassy DH has said that he'll give me half his leftover money at the end of the week, and he's gonna set up a website and get advertising on google to get his hours up
Am looking forward to may 2014 though when we'll be £460 per month better off as cars will be paid off, not coming quick enough!

According to the government, you should beable to survive on £70 a week
Just a wee fact for you there!!

penguin i would have 2 problems climbing into a dc's cot, 1, the would be no room for dc, 2, cot would break.

you must be teeny tiny!

fuzzy you need to have more kids, get a couple diagnosed with adhd and claim refugee status (any problems in scotland you can claim to be running from?) and you'd be on a lot more.

I thought the same as sassy penguin . Not a chance I'm fitting in S cot!!

Erm, no problems here sassy. Flipping joke, £70 a wk! I almost never got anything as I have a mortgage!! I had to argue my case

penguin me and DH have both done that in Christopher's cot (not both at the same time though. But then C has a massive cot that's super sturdy and cost a bloody fortune his new bed is apparently out of stock though so he is still sleeping in it now, he'll have one more week as a little baby before he gets a big boy bed

fuzzzy £70 a week that's crazy how can anyone live in that and pay for everything you need to.

sassy and mama hope your feeling better this morning

fuzzzy £70 for everything? Is there not extra for rent/mortgage, council tax? When I was unemployed I got HB and council tax benefit. At the back of my pregnancy book there was a big list of all the benefits available, it seemed it didn't matter what your income was, you had to be unemployed to get them (sure start grant, healthy start grant, CTC...).

About half DPs wage goes on (private) rent, so that's 2 adults and a child on less 18k a year (roughly). Because they've raised the threshold we can't get WTC. We'd actually be better off on a lower income, or if we split!

Sassy I tend to agree re $$$ - although we pool all our money and each pay get some money of our own, and it's the same amount for both of us regardless of what we earn. We call it "non accountable money" which is a fab system as that way I don't worry if DH comes home one day with 5 CDs as it wasn't from our joint pot of money and I can spend all my money on coke zero and books and he can't complain

Sorry that wasn't a competition just commiserating with how crappy finances are!

sch i don't get housing benefit cause of mortgage but I do get something towards the interest but i think it's less than £10 a month and goes straight to lender so my monthly payments aren't any cheaper. Still waiting to hear about council tax but they told me it can take up to 8 weeks! My council were coming down hard on it as lots of people were claiming wrongly. Even with that, I still have electricity, car insurance, food, petrol etc so still fucked

When I can escape the toilet I will come back properly but though you might like this for a laugh?

I posted the following yesterday, supposedly on this thread:-
"I too have felt really dizzy and faint today and have a poo bum. Don't know what's going on feel really ill", need to go and read back and posts properly"

To which someone wrote under:-
"Cheshire, think you may have posted on the wrong thread, sorry about your poo bum though"

I had posted in AIBU. Oh the shame

Mama she loved the Mange Tout, it was quite good on her gums too because they were quite cold out of the fridge.

Penguin how come you are seeing a councillor? (sorry if I am being nosey, it's fine not to answer), think I must have missed something as I missed a whole bunch of stuff off the last thread.

BB3 sorry about K and that the outcome was not as successful so far. You really must be drained at the moment, have you started trying to set your business up too, or are you putting it on hold for now?

Hope you start feeling better today Sassy.

I do wonder if it is partly an accumulation of the last 9 months (plus the pregnancies) catching up with everyone and they are more susceptible to things right now because everyone is so knackered. Obviously I appreciate this is not the case with some things.

Fuzzzy have you got a new job as a Nanny then? I think it's the petrol which kills me, it's so expensive these days.

Cheshire I shouldn't really be giggling at your poo bum but that did make me laugh!

H is finally back to his healthy, happy self thank god.

Get well soon everyone

Strawberry could you try eggy bread?

Penguin how have you given the other nuts? P has had pine nuts etc in curry but I might crush some of the others up then and put then in top of some food now and again for her. I think I thought you had to wait until 12 months for peanuts (not sure why I thought that though)

Lovin how did the meals go yesterday? TBH P doesn?t eat a lot of breakfast and she has to have it really late to be even slightly interested ? 10am/11am which we are often out by then so it?s difficult. The most she eats is her evening meal, she has a few bits around 3pm-ish which she is quite enthusiastic about. I presume that is why looking at the meal times at nursery they eat every couple of hours, so it doesn?t really matter if they are not interested because they will be so more food in 2 hours! If she doesn?t want something though I just give it to the dog, rather than what I used to get told ?it will be there for your dinner tonight etc? yuck!

I like Zulily and Olive & Moss too ? but will have to wait til I have some income to buy her some of their lovely t shirts and fleeces for next winter.

How was Infant School Mama?

Who?s baby was saying Barbara in B&Q? I would have loved to hear that.

A Counsellor sounds like a good idea Grey, does DH realise this truly is Last Chance?

Eggy bread is a good idea cheshire thanks, will try it next time I get some eggs. Hope your feeling a bit better now your poo bum in AIBU did make me laugh though :)

Cheshire made me smile with poo bum. How are you now?

I didn't know which end needed loo more yesterday, it was awful, ended up with one of those toddler stools to teach the sink tipped up and being sick and poo bum on loo, J crying her heart out with ds2 at which point dh came home. He was a star, took over looking after kids completely and then mum came and helped as dh had important meetings he had to attend online. Spent most of day in bed or on loo. Managed 2 jelly babies and 2 boiled sweet, still feel rough but much better than I was.

Dh Took ds2 to infants yesterday and went well, apparantly preschool is now boring

J had follow up at drs and they've taken another Swab and more ear drops.

Bb3 sorry K's op wasnt successful have you got a date for the next one?

Re money, dh pays some money into account for clothes, activities, all Xmas and birthday, fuel etc for all children and me. He also pays the bills, mortgage etc.

That's horrible mama hope you're better soon. Are DCs affected?

Cheshire I promise I didn't giggle at your poo bum.... But hope you're better soon aswell!

fuzzzy that's terrible :( can you get a lodger to help with mortgage?

Feeling awful for my dog, C loves him as much as me and dp! But means that now he's crawling he's after him constantly. The dog (Thomas) is so so good and patient with him, but 1) poor thing is always having to run away with C hot on his heels and 2) dogs can snap, even our pathetically desperate pile of cuddles.

Finance- I'm just living off my savings, CB and whatever I can sell on eBay. Dp pays all bills. I try not to buy much as we need to declutter anyway.

:) cheshire your poo bum had cheered me up! Are you feeling better and more importantly got over the shame yet?? It was N shouting Barbara in B and Q, no idea who barbara is, and almost accused DP of having another woman