June 2009 - Threenagers and the world of 'I WANT...'

[Skillbo]

Thought would start our new one with a typical J threenager moment:

Trying to tidy up playroom which doubles up as our dining room -

Grabbing everything and trying to shove it to the side of the room, J declares 'my want my horses' which is this random stable thing she chose with her birthday money which houses 4 horses and is massive. Obviously she can't have it at the table but she grabs it and storms off saying 'you can't tell me'

Favourite phrases:

• My want it, obviously
  
• No, tried and tested favourite
  
• why? What you doing? Who's that? What's that?
  
• I want daddy to do it, and vice versa as long as it's the opposite to what you've got planned
  

and i won't get into her wardrobe choices

[snowwombat]

I'm crap at getting on here.moving next week .
June I hope you are enjoying dubai. France trip sounds lovely

[Gauchita]

Me too! In serious need of more hours, man
Lots of work, still getting to grips with school run and trying to organise myself so as to make the most of my time. Not quite there yet
June, hope you're having a blast in Dubail
Snow, eek, next week! Yay! And y y to having your things packed for you! Especially with no DH around, and two DC 24/7 ::tired::
Skillbo, how are things?
Zhen, hope cold/cough have left the household and the Ns are better
Ninja, how are those hot cuppas doing?
I missed Dawnton Abbey last night! Fell asleep ha! So will try and catch up tonight ::hollow laugh::

[snowwombat]

hey gauchita can I be really really cheeky and ask you to see if I have the correct portuguese for something? Happy to pay in coffee/trips to the seaside/offer a piece of the banana bread i've just baked
Mutio bom is very good isn't it? If I want to say 'you have given the boy great encouragement in the assessment' what would be the best way?

[Gauchita]

Japanese! Wow Hope what I sent via FB was useful.
How's everyone doing?
D pulling himself up all the time, and therefore also getting lots of bumps and bruises bless him. He wants to stand all the time, though; sitting has become a very disliked position
M loving school. I seem to have mastered pick up parking ha! I just leave plenty of space in front of me, enough for a smart to fit 10/10 times I come back to the car and find another one 1 inch from the boot so...

[TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission]

evening all

snow, hope the move went well! Much easier to get someone else to pack, especially the movers who can do it in a fraction of the time hope you're all nicely settled and back together again.

june, Dubai looked amazing, C looked so chilled on the lilo

gauchita, you're doing a fab job on your fb, all those pictures of food keep making me hungry How grown up does M look in her uniform!! So pleased she's enjoying school and D is settling at nursery.

well, E is loving being back at preschool and I'm loving having the odd hot cup of tea! I'm even managing to get straight after the holidays Dd3 has had a bit of a tough time settling in to her new class but hopefully things are on the up now, she doesn't cope well with change. The summer holidays seem so far away now, especially with the evenings getting darker and colder, at least we're still getting some sun for now

waves to all

[snowwombat]

Hello girls
Just three nights left here then the move happens. ninja you're right, packers were a great idea. I just need to sort the stuff into the correct rooms and reduce the clutter so they can do their job . We will camp in the house wed night. The amount of cleaning is frightening. There are spiders everywhere and I know a mountain of dust hiding under the furniture.
Glad dd3 is slowly but surely settling into school and that e is enjoying nursery. More excitement for him up here, potatoes being harvested, then into tractors and trailers and off to tyrells for crisps. Going to miss our proper country life.

gauchita tell us more about the new job, I'm salivating looking at the food pictures.

june did you have a good trip to dubai? A proper holiday?

zhen how are you and how are the n's? Are you back to work this term or do have you longer? I can't remember if I said it before but I am so pleased things are good with you and dh.

What are your kids favourite books at the moment? Looking for some inspiration for DS

[Gauchita]

Marking place!

[June2009]

snow hope the move went well, you must still be in boxes etc hopefully this is the last time for a while! Good luck with everything!
The holiday in Dubai was a proper holiday. The schedule was easy, get up, put a swimsuit on, breakfast, pool, lunch, nap on the beach, pool, and dinner.
We hired a babysitter from the hotel 3 times so we could go out and enjoy dinner just the two of us with dh.
Meal times were the most hardwork with C getting up everytime the food arrived to go to the toilet. If it was just the two of us sometimes they would clear our playes away while we were in the toilet which made it even more frustrating!!!
I have tried several things but I think this is one of those, I'm going to grin and bear it and wait until she grows out of it I think. highly annoying though.
I can't remember who on here said they had a heart to heart with their husband, thank you for sharing that, I plucked up the courge and I did that too (was ba timing and emotional, (me crying, not shouting) and it didn't really go 100% how I wanted but I said what I wanted to say and I think, I hope, that it helped. In the short term anyway. (nothing I hadn't said before but I think the fact that I got upset and looked serious brought it home to him that I really need him to change his behaviour.)

Went out last night with dh and gym mates to a 80's club for a friend's bday party an had a right laugh, fancy dressed up :D
'Best'friend who i haven't seem or heard from for the past 5 months is coming over next weekend, can't wait to see her! I've seriously been deserted by friends the past fee months, just when I needed them the most and I can't wait to re-establish a balance.

[Gauchita]

Marking place! ::failing to catch up::

[June2009]

So, to keep you all updated on mil/fil drama...
We (dh C and myself, sil &bf, bil) were summoned to fil's office last night where he announced that not only has he married his 30yo gf but they have just had a baby girl (on saturday night). Talk about a bombshell!!!
I do not know how they managed to keep it a secret from us but now I know at long fucking last why some of my friends have been so distant and out of touch with me for the past 6 months. And I know they have been put in a difficult position but it's really made me feel shitty as they obviously had to make a choice between telling me or putting distance between us and chose the latter. At a time where I really really needed friends around and was left wondering all sorts about myself and it's ended up really hurting my self confidence and self esteem. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have realised the full impact of that decision but it is a bit of a relief but damage has been done.

Mil does not know yet and i absolutely dread to think how she will react. And i know that, whatever we say, she will nevwr believe that we didn't know all along. I think she is going to freak out big time. .

Tis very quiet on here, hope everyone is ok. snow have you managed to get thru some boxes? how's the new house? x
gauchita do the alerts work on your new phone? how's dh and the kids?
Waves to everyone else!

[Skillbo]

Oh June - that sounds just madness! How on earth do you manage to keep something like that a secret... and your poor mil - do you get on with her or is she the one with the rocking horse (sorry brain and memory going so not sure if I'm confusing matters??)

Sorry to have been away but it's all been a bit mad. I have managed to keep my job although it's changed quite a lot but not in a bad way. I need to work harder though but not sure if I'm actually that motivated. But I need to be so I am sure it will kick in soon - perhaps when I actually get some sleep. O is still a complete arse at night and I'm up at least 3 times, sometimes as many as 5 I know I need to stop feeding him and any hp will tell me that but he just seems to small stlll.

Can't believe D is 1 now Gauchita. Sounds like you had a nice day and he is absolutely gorgeous! I can remember returning to the thread and reading about his birth and of course all the photo's on FB. Happy, belated birthday D! Hope the new job is going well and you're enjoying it. I'm glad to hear that M loves school - so does J, Someone was talking uniforms earlier and we don't have one here. Just as well as J is constantly sitting in puddles, having accidents, falling in the water tray thing - we'd need about 10!

Ninja - how is your bil, so sad for him and your family but hopefully he's continued to improve over the week. And hooray for hot cuppas - O is into absolutely everything and so can't leave anything anywhere so my cuppas tend to end up forgotten on high shelves.

Snow - so are you relaxing, glass in hand at your new abode? We don't have double glazing in our new place so am quite - you've moved more north, haven't you?

I started a blog last week as I felt I needed to learn a bit more about social media (it's now in my job title) so feel free to have a look if you fancy.. Not sure if you can comment on it as I can't work out how to sort this out but you can always let me know your thoughts here Bake with Kake.

Oh and Snow - J loves fairy tales at the moment, all the proper Grimm ones though with the gruesome endings and quite descriptive pictures We read Chicken Licken the other day and I was quite surprised at how it turned out but did make me smile. Anything to do with Peppa Pig too as she's still quite obsessed which is rubbing off on O who get's very excited when he sees them (went to PP World and mil bought O a cuddly version of Peppa's teddy - really odd looking but he loves it!) I am really looking forward to the day when her bedtime story is actually a book and you read chapters instead of the whole story. I've got so many I already want to read to her - does anyone know what age to start - ninja??

Right - J crying, think she's a bit ill.

[June2009]

Skillbo mil is the one with the horse....complicated situation all around! We just need to move on now, it's been two weeks, new wife and new baby here to stay so the quicker we accept it so better it is. (Sil does not want to acknowledge either baby or wife).

Re:chapters, a friend of mine tried that last week (3 1/5 yo son) and massive tantrum occurrd :) not ready yet then ;)

Sorry to hear about the sleepless nights, it makes everything a lot harder, tis just a phase ...

Where's the rest of the juners :)

snow you must have moved in by now :)
goose half term craziness starts again soon... Love the pics of the cat on fb :)

[Gauchita]

::sneaks head in::

I feel I've been away for ages! It's definitely the longest stretch of no posts on MN for me

June, ::jaw drops:: WHAT!?!? What on earth was your FIL thinking? Oh dear... judging by how you depict your SIL she must be inside out! Man, when your MIL finds out there will be war... I'm so sorry to hear about your friends. As you say, on the one hand it's a relief now you know WTF was going on but at the same time, it must sting that they acted that way anyway. We're all adults after all! ((hug)) How's work?

Skillbo, ::shakes hand of fellow sleep-deprived mother:: Same here, between 3 and 5 times a night. I hope this eternal phase is over soon. Glad to hear things at work resolved themselves! Must be hard to have things changed so much, hope you feel more motivated soon.

Snow, you're down under! Hope you're having a nice time, enjoying the warm weather, over here it's getting colder by the day. Don't know how "settled" you were before leaving, when are you back?

Ninja, how are BIL and SIL doing? Have you seen them? Is it half term for your DC this week and next?

Zhen, how are the girls doing?

Things ok here, but busy, busier than ever, hence the absence I'm slowly but surely getting more organised with things but it's hard. I love it, though, and it's great to have a fixed income for the first time in years (freelance life is difficult ha!)

M enjoying schoool, HT at the moment. D settled in nursery although we still have the odd tear. Teething hell atm, joy.

Waves!

[Gauchita]

Hello?

::echoes::

[snowwombat]

Coooooeeeee from down under.almost four weeks on holiday. Having wonderful time, weather incredible, swimming lots. Hope you all ok. Head home next week, will catch up then.

[June2009]

Heya, hope you're enjoying the sunshine snow it's cold out here!
gauchita good to hear work is going well, it is nice to have a new challenge!
Mil is a cow, she keeps giving C sweets behind my back, usually around 5or6pm, right where I really don't need her to be high on sugar... She also turns up unannounced and expect me to stop everything and change my plans to accomodate her. I could go on and on.

Work is ok thanks :) we've really had ups anddowns the past few months and hopefully hopefully coming out the other side now boh personally and for work.

Lovely weekend here, aside feom te weather.

I'm looking for ideas, what to irganise for my bday, any suggestions?

[Gauchita]

Marking place!

[ZhenThereWereTwo]

Hello girls :)

Sorry for prolonged absence DH started new job with long hours, homeschooling big N and lil'N starting pulling up to standing at 8 months old and has 3 teeth so barely get time to drink a hot cup of tea these days!

June glad your heart to heart helped with DH. Families are bonkers, there is always a controversy with my DH's lot, but with 20+ siblings and hundreds of cousins there are plenty more people to bring the drama. Undermining is not on though, I have to keep my mum in check on that one, hard when it is your Mil.

Snow hope your move went well and you are enjoying warm weather down under x

Sleep deprived by teething baby waking 3-5 times here too Skillbo, my sympathies to you. Big N fed at night until 20 months old when I bit the bullet and DH gave her water. Felt like a new woman. Difficult when they are teething though.

Favourite books here are The Smartest Giant In Town by Julia Donaldson, Dora story book, Dogger by Shirley Hughes, The Elephant and the Bad Baby by Elfrida Vipont.

Hats off to you Gauchita, new job, school run, teething - any organisational tips?

Hope all is well with you and the family Ninja x

[Skillbo]

Wow - it is quiet on here although i know i've not been about either... Proper Zombie today but not O, its the lovely J who was up for about 3 hours and in and out of her room and our bed! So pooped! But hey - them's the joys!

June - hope things with your family have calmed down although sounds like your mil needs a good talking too! Mine does similar but doesn't attempt to hide it so i guess i should be grateful. Could dh not have a word - or is that a sore subject?

I know i ahouldn't be but am glad I'm not the only sleep deprived one! Really colours your day and after watching a driving thing last week, wish i didn't commute as being tired is almost as bad as being drunk!

gauchita - hope the new job going well!

zhen - lovely room hear from you, didn't realise you were home schooling - how's that going? Am keen to help j as much as possible but don't think i could handle the responsibility!

Sorry to post and run, but i'll be back!

[June2009]

Heya! Its good to hear from you guys :)
C has been waking up several times in the night and coming to our bed too, dh very kindly put her back everytime instead if letting her stay with us. I didn't have the strength, I came down with the flu I think or something, got a cold sore and fever, sweating and bed rest (yuk...)

I think everything is taking its toll on me mil's crazy ongoing anyics, fil's new baby, sil's moodyness, the several hearts to hearts with dh (which thankfully seem to be working... I hope).

Here comes a big rant ....
Dh's still booked a night away the weekend of my bday which bothers me. I know it's very teenager-ish buy I like my bday to be special. Am I being silly? He never plans anything for it, he'll get me a present on the day, like he'll say let's go shopping ang get u a bag or something which is better than nothing I shouldn't really complain. But I spend so much time and effort on his present usually... (not this year though, enough!) I wish he did the same.
he's booked a night away with some people he met over the internet on a forum and it's all well and nice but it's usually on london and we tag along, stay in a hotel etc.
This time it's in newcastle, he says it would be too expensive if we came too, says we can do somehing for my bday on the saturday when I know hes going to get pissed on the friday and he'll be too tired what with the flying there and back etc.
I wanted to organise something quite big this year and book somewhere, invite everybody but it's really dampened my spirits.

I know that following bit is a bit unreasonable but i can't help to feel thati really dont want to spend that friday night on my own wondering what he is up to and who with. There was an incident this year where someone i know kissed him at a party (not full on snog but still a kiss) and in his words he said 'don't leave my on my own with these women & alcohol' .... which really don't inspire confidence.

I'm sure it'll be fine but I am anxious.

[ZhenThereWereTwo]

Oh no no no that is not on June, it is one thing to go away, but why arrange it for your birthday weekend there are 51 others to choose from!

Extremely selfish, I am not really one for birthdays and presents, but it is one day just for you, he should at least spend it with you or look after C while you go out and let your hair down. He should not be out getting drunk and spending money that could go on your birthday.

The kiss thing is all part of a pattern, he needs to have more respect and consideration for you and your relationship, you should come FIRST before friends. Friends are just that, you are his partner and the mother of his child for goodness sake.

As for intimating that he might not be able to control himself around alcohol and women, well he should choose not to drink as much or put himself in those situations then. He is an adult and responsible for his choices.

He needs to know how angry, hurt and upset you are you must tell him as it will fester and create resentment.

[ZhenThereWereTwo]

Oh and hello Skillbo, C's DH's behaviour got me so mad I forgot to say hi to you!

I have big N having nightmares and little N sleeping on me most of the night as she is teething and screams whenever I try to put her down after a feed. Be careful with the driving they did tests and found alcohol and tiredness cause same slowing down of reaction times.

Homeschooling is fun as we just learn through play. She will be going to school at 5 if we get her into one we like, if not I will keep her at home until she is 8 and her and little N can start school together.

[June2009]

Thanks zhen I've told him everytime it's come up in the conversation that I didn't like it that it was that weekend as it also means that I can't go to the gym on the Saturday morning as I usually do unless I get a babysitter, bit overboard and the weekend before xmas I will never find anyone.

Anyway yesterday I brought it up again, nicely you know, asked who was going etc and he said he wouldn't go if it upset me that much. I replied that it did upset me.
He hasn't cancelled anything yet but that is where we left it. We'll see when I try and make plans...

[Gauchita]

Hi all, just managed to catch up a bit.

Zhen, hi! Lovely to hear from you. Glad things are ok. ::joins sleep-deprived bench:: D is teething horribly, getting 2 fangs and 2 molars at the same time, bless him, ouch! Drooling like a puppy and gnawing on anything in sight!

Skillbo, hi! I bookmarked your blog weeks ago but have yet to visit it ::shakes head:: M has had a few nightmares lately, but seems to go back to sleep quite quickly, which I'm very grateful for as they sleep in the same room and otherwise I'd have two up in the middle of the night at the same time

June, my dear June I agree with Zhen. I'm sorry but I don't think this is on at all... The weekend away on your birthday was inconsiderate enough but then his comment re. women and alcohol is jaw-dropping causing I'd dig deeper maybe. I'm also in the 'I like my birthday' camp, I always plan and think a lot about DH's but he's a bit like yours, horrible at surprises and gifts, maybe because he doesn't really like celebrating his own birthday, he's not bothered about it really... I told him earlier this year that this birthday is special as it's 12.12.12 and I really wanted to do something special. I've reminded him a couple of times but I'm not sure whether anything will happen or not. I really hope your DH cancels, it's really not on =(

Ninja, how are things around yours?

Snow, all settled now?

Manic as usual here, I haven't been properly on MN now for two months I think! Still in touch with MNetters through twitter and FB but not here...

Job going well, really excited about this new 'career turn', learning lots as well.

Off to make dinner, take care lovely Juners!

[snowwombat]

I've just sat myself down, bribed the kids with a DVD and planned a nice catch up with the Juners. Now they are bloody all over me. Argh.

Sorry to be so crap and absent for such a long time. Think it may be longest I have gone without MN

We are safely settled in the NE, have a house to rent and are looking for a place of our own. We have had an offer accepted on a wreck that would probably take a year or so to put right, so awaiting survey and builders quote to decide whether we can afford it or not. Trying not to get excited, as it may all fall through when we see what a disaster the house is.

Kids have settled into their new life up here, we have a new nursery which they go to together and love. We are exploring local playgroups on the other days. Found a great one this morning that does Forest School. Right up A's alley. I've got myself a proper job again, back to that large healthcare organisation, just two days a week. Start in a few weeks. The travels have stopped for now but probably a good idea while we get settled in here and find some local childcare for any trips away.

DH is loving his job, all very friendly around here, made friends from work and doing things socially already. Good to see.

I've made my first friend, and I think she will be a good'un.

The trip home was so fun and such a welcome opportunity to have a good amount of time with lots of people instead of only seeing them once for a few hours. We had a great family reunion for my gran's 90th birthday. The kids got time with their special great granny and she loved having us with her.

I need to go and ready the thread but quickly I wanted to say

june any resolution about the weekend with DH? I hope you are ok. I started to shred again yesterday and thought of you, I need to go back and read your positive and helpful comments about weight loss/diet.
gauchita Not long till your birthday. Z is 2 on the 15th. Frightening. So pleased new job going well and we will catch up soon. I'm an hour to York, would a meet there work? Or I could come to Leeds? I want to take DH to eat at your place!
zhen that sleep deprivation and ill health sounds horrid. Hope you are feeling better soon
skillbo Hope you are getting some sleep too. Are you writing a blog?
ninja how are you? How are all the kids? Will it be a full house at christmas? How is BIL and his family?