June 2009 - Threenagers and the world of 'I WANT...'

[Skillbo]

Thought would start our new one with a typical J threenager moment:

Trying to tidy up playroom which doubles up as our dining room -

Grabbing everything and trying to shove it to the side of the room, J declares 'my want my horses' which is this random stable thing she chose with her birthday money which houses 4 horses and is massive. Obviously she can't have it at the table but she grabs it and storms off saying 'you can't tell me'

Favourite phrases:

• My want it, obviously
  
• No, tried and tested favourite
  
• why? What you doing? Who's that? What's that?
  
• I want daddy to do it, and vice versa as long as it's the opposite to what you've got planned
  

and i won't get into her wardrobe choices

[snowwombat]

Oh my, congratulations on Mason's birth AnotherStichinTime. What a traumatic ordeal you have had. Glad that you are all safe and finally home. Must be such a relief to have him safely in your arms and all be together again at home. I hope there has been some support around from family and friends during the last few months. It must have been so difficult being away from the girls for that long. Were they allowed to visit when you were admitted?
Sending you and lots of restful recovery vibes. Great that the feeding has gone the way you wanted and hope there is some sleep in there too for all of you.

[AnotherStitchInTime]

Hello ladies :)

fush that sounds incredibly tough and you are being very adult and understanding about the whole situation. I hope that J&O will benefit from the increased contact.

snow a year, wow time flies fast. Hope the rest of the renovation goes smoothly. Apart from the early waking how are A and Z?

Hope all the other Juners are ok :)

Well life has been eventful in chez Stitch. At my 20 week scan I was diagnosed with placenta praevia (placenta covering cervix), I was warned about risks of bleeding and placed on a sex ban. At 26 weeks I had a massive bleed whilst on my own in the house with the kids, luckily DH managed to make it home within half an hour and I was blue-lighted to hospital by ambulance.

For the next two months I spent most of the time in hospital. DH had to take unpaid time off work to care for the girls. I missed them terribly, little N was a baby still when I went in she had never been apart from me. Big N at least was loving school and that provided some distraction.

They then discovered from scans that my placenta had grown through my uterus and into my bladder.

On the 23rd December, 6 weeks early our son Mason arrived by c section. I was awake when he was delivered, but because I wouldn't stop bleeding they had to do a hysterectomy and I was put under general anaesthetic. I woke up 5 hours later. I had lost all my blood volume and more and had bladder surgery, but I was alive. Lucky for me the Queen's gynaecologist (who delivered Prince George) had been passing and scrubbed in.

Christmas Day was a bit of a blur and I still wasn't eating food so no turkey and trimmings for me. After 5 days I came home. Mason luckily didn't need to go to SCBU and apart from two bottles when I was in theatre he has been solely breastfed and is back to his birth weight. I am on the mend slowly and enjoying being home with the girls. They have been lovely with him, really gentle.

[FushandChups]

And yes - tis my inner Kiwi... was lucky enough to travel round there for a year when I was younger and had a blast! Spent some time working in a fish and chips shop (where I served and cooked for Jonah Lomu!) so the gorgeous way this phrase is said has always stayed with me.. â?¡

[FushandChups]

Hi Snow - wow, has it really been a year since you moved? 2013 has flown by that's for sure - cannot believe our 'babies' are four and a half

Sorry to hear your house has needed more work than first thought. always the way though - even though I rent so have a landlord to fall back on for the big stuff, there is so much I would love to do to this place to make it more of a home (double glazing would be a good start, brrrr )

Things with the kids are ok although J still struggling with all the change - think school has broken her slightly Moving to 50/50 care is breaking my heart but is probably (maybe) the best thing for the children and H won't settle for anything else. He dropped pretty much all contact in the summer as I wouldn't pay him to look after our children. He wouldn't take them for a night in the week as that would break the conditions of his JSA (yes, he is still unemployed) and despite being available, I currently pay out over £800 in childcare costs. It all comes down to him believing he could end our marriage but carry on with the stay at home role with me supporting him. It has been agreed been will now receive J's child benefit(which he can use to get income support, housing benefit etc so can continue to not work) and so will now spend time with his children.

Makes me as he spends every waking hour with new gf and her children and I bet she doesn't pay him! Argh - I keep just telling myself I am better off without him - because I am. anyone who can use their kids as a weapon to remain a lazy fuckwit rather than get a job and start to provide for them, doesn't deserve me (phew, that was cathartic ) J & O do miss him and like spending time with him so I shouldn't be sad - for all his failings as a person, he is a good dad to them. We return to mediation in the new year to see how it's all working...

Sorry for the 'me me me' post - how are all the rest of the lovely Juners? its been so long and even though I do see some of us on FB, it's not the same as being able to brain dump on here!

I managed to slice my finger on a food processor blade and sever the tendon badly a few weeks ago. I had surgery but am still signed off but am off into work for a couple of hours in a bit, so best get myself sorted! Take it easy all x

[snowwombat]

Fushandchips love the new name, are you channeling your inner kiwi? Gosh the 50/50 sounds so hard, especially with exdh doing so little. What has prompted him to want to have so much more time with the kids? How are you doing? How are you managing work/kids/life?
So pleased to see a message on our thread.

We are fine here oop north, been a year already. Still in house renovation hell, k mc loud would love us with our disintegrating house that has needed far more than expected.

Anyway, tis approaching midnight, I've had far too much alcohol and the kids will be up in 5 hours. Urgh. Cannot wait till they decide to love sleep.

[FushandChups]

Just realised you probably don't know who I am.. its Skillbo!

[FushandChups]

Meant FB of course (new phone, fat fingers and not checking my message, duh!)

[FushandChups]

Ok - thought should bump this bad boy as it has been toooo long since I've caught up with you.

I second the private GO group although don't go on there as often either but more often than here! Someone else will have to do it as I have no idea how you go about it though!

Stitch - massive congratulations. .. another N on the way (well,almost here!)

Not much changed here - still plodding onwards although we're moving to 50/50 care in the new year which is breaking my heart one week with me, one whole week with him! He has been a shit about contact as well (at one point was seeing them for only 2 nights a month!) but this is maybe the best thing for the children so have to give it a go! J struggling big time with the world at the moment though!

Right - on my phone so won't post much more or will lose it but hope others are still checking this thread & catch up soon

[Gauchita]

Congratulations Stitch! Amazing news. I'll join Snow in the vicarious bench

Thanks Sally for the message.

I haven't been here in aaaages. Work and RL taking over, sorry ladies!

Maybe we could create a FB (private) group? I do check that every day

[AnotherStitchInTime]

Hello all briefly popping in to say that I am 13 weeks pregnant!

Due 28th of January :)

Back later,just trying to get lil'N to settle.

[snowwombat]

skillbo wanted to send a huge hug and you sound like you are doing an incredible job. The kids are so lucky to have such a brilliant mum. How are things for you now? I've been thinking of you, particularly as we were on a flying visit your way a fortnight ago. I hope you are doing ok and getting good support around you

[snowwombat]

What lovely news Stitch congratulations. Will you find out whether you have a boy or girl? Will happily live vicariously through your pregnancy and newborn. I would love to have more, but for a variety of reasons, I don't think it will ever happen.

We've had our school visits and a very happy about going to school. I've just got to find a CM for two days a week. Fingers crossed a local recommendation comes off

We are in house renovation hell. Currently house held up with scaffolding. Must post some FB pictures, I took some yesterday. No internal walls on ground floor, nor floors. In disagreement with planners. We want simple, they want an ostentatious gran d design number. Will see what this week's negotiations bring.

I hope you are all ok. I'm sorry to be completely crap with posting

[June2009]

hello :) finally got my password reset..sorry for long absence!
Not had much time to catch up with mumsnet at all the past few months (or facebook for that matter.)
Hope everyone is well here :) Will try and come more often!

C is 4 now, and turning in a little monster at times (she wants to 'put me in the bin'), testing the boundaries a lot; otherwise a lovely polite, social child :D (just had to stop and wipe poo off the bathroom wall, which kinda illustrates my point...)

[TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission]

ooooooh how lovely, congratulations stitch!!

I think we're all ready for school, E now gets he's not going to dd3's school and that he will have to walk not get bused door to door! Fingers crossed for a smooth transition

waves to all

[AnotherStitchInTime]

Helloooooo

Well we must all be very busy, hope you are all ok.

Just popping to announce that by complete surprise I am expecting number 3. No idea when as hadn't really got my periods back after little N's birth I think Jan/Feb or even March, but will have to wait for the dating scan.

[StitchAteMySleep]

Hello all :)

Just popping in to see how you all are.

Glad to hear your new home is treating you well Snow.

Ninja, good news about E's school. Not such good news about the boiler, but at least it waited until April to pop it's clogs.

Glad to hear you and the kids are doing well Skillbo. Onwards and upwards. Enjoy your free time, you deserve it.

Well we are good, been away a lot visiting family with the guinea pigs in tow. Had an interesting car journey to my mum's when one guinea pig escaped the box and her sister started chewing through the box in an attempt to join her. All while we were on the motorway.

Big N starts school locally in September part-time. Wasn't our first choice, but we have visited several times and I like the EYFS set up and the feel of the school.

Little N is a terror, climbing everything in sight. She has us laughing every day with her mischievous grin and infectious giggle. She is talking a lot now and is already having those back arching tantrums, terrible twos are not far off!

Waves to Gauchita, Venetian and everyone else I have forgotten x

[Gauchita]

Signing in! Catch-up hopefully soon!

[Skillbo]

Hellooo all - wow, this thread has been quiet but i haven't been on here either!

Some great news on here since i last checked in...

snow - new house, yay! so pleased for you although don't you cleaning all the stuff from your old place! Bet it's come on leaps and bounds now though - new roof sorted?

guachita - fab news about your job, too! I am so pleased it's working out for you but I'm not surprised as you have a lovely turn of phrase!

Stitch - thanks for your kind words, a while ago now, but thankyou!

So in my world, am getting used to being on my own. H has got himself a new girlfriend which is pretty clearly the OW as they got together less than 2 weeks after he left me! Soul destroying at the time but helped me come to terms with the fact it wasn't me, i am not this poisonous person he was making me out to be - he was just trying to justify his actions (which are unjustifiable, of course!)

J & O are fab although j`s behaviour has been pretty challenging, and continues to be but she's been through a lot and H has been a real dick about a lot of it, which hasn't helped! She needs constant reassurance which makes me so sad but she'll get there!

O is now at a childminder for a couple of days as H won't do them. It's probablydoing O some good but he's like a limpet the rest of the time!

I have a better social life than I've had in years as i get every other weekend free. On the weekends i have J & O, we always do something fun too so we're a great little team. It is exhausting though and hats well & truly off to single parents out there!

So, how did everyone get on with schools? I was uhm-ing and ah-ing about possibly moving to be closer to my friends but both kids have had enough change for now & J got into the school we wanted so makes sense to hang here for a bit!

Looks like spring has finally sprung so am planning on catching some rays, doing lots of washing and baking some bits! Rare weekend at home, just me! Anyone else got nice plans for the weekend?

I hope all Juners are doing ok - as someone mentioned up thread - would be a shame to lose this, especially as our lo's are almost 4... how did that happen???

Speak soon and i really appreciate all the thoughts on here - you're all super

[TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission]

hellooooooooooo

I'm not entirely sure where the time has gone lately!! But at least we seem to have seen the back of all the snow hopefully, so nice to see a bit of blue sky and sun seeing as it's april Our boiler died the week before easter so that has proved rather costly it's not exactly a job you can leave till the money's there. At least E got the school we wanted, what a relief! He's been staying for lunch club at preschool 3 days a week so hopefully getting used to eating lunch with his friends, it's rather nice having an extra hour to myself

snow, fab news on the house have you moved in or renovating first? How's bed time going?

waves to all

[snowwombat]

Hello o. o. o. o. Anyone lurking? We get school place this week. Anyone else?

[snowwombat]

Just MNetting while I do rapid return of dd to her big girl bed. We took her cot sides off a few days ago and once she is asleep she is fine, just another hour or so of putting her back

We own the house, sale completed fairly smoothly. I've started pulling wallpaper off already. Some fairly deep cleaning required. I'm yet to touch the mould covered bathroom but after successfully cleaning my mildew covered buggy with mould and mildew spray today, I'm feeling slightly less daunted. Bloody garage of the rented place is damp and lots of our stuff covered Just something I could do without.

Still snowing on and off here. Not enough to play in but bitterly cold . Did get a nice bit of sunshine so e could have an Easter egg hunt yesterday morning at the new place. Very friendly, neighbours all calling round for a chat and a sticky beak! Lots of kids in the village and their own field to play in at the back of the houses, owned by the local lord. I feel like I'm in a high school history lesson at times, our place is over 200 years old. I know that is not that old for the uk but it is for modern oz!

How is everyone? Are we all using FB more than the thread? Would be nice not to lose this thread, easier to say lots more on here than FB.

Hope you are all ok Juners

[StitchAteMySleep]

Hope the exchange went as planned Snow.

No plans for a third yet, although I would like another just not yet. I need some sleep first!

[snowwombat]

Happy Mother's day Juners. Hoping you are being suitably spoilt.

Had a nice lunch made by DH. Z has picked today as the day she can and will climb out of her cot so sitting outside her room encouraging sleep .

Exchange n Tuesday we hope.

Happy belated birthday to little N. Are you trying for a third Stitch?

Waves to all

[StitchAteMySleep]

Hello all :)

Snow good news about the house, have you exchanged contracts yet?

Gauchita poor D, hope he is feeling a little better. My step-daughter and a few of my nieces have asthma and find the cold weather and change of seasons sets it off. Worst times are always very cold days and autumn-winter change.

Still house of bleurgh, seem to get rid of one bug and get another by the end of the day. Have given up going to playgroups this week, can't face them catching another one! Little N was 1 last Saturday and has been busy learning to walk, she can do about 5 steps now. Period never actually turned up, took a pregnancy test and it was negative so thinking lil' N is just feeding too much at night still for it to kick in. The guinea pigs are quite sweet really, they wheek when they see me as they think I will have grass. Will try and get some pics when I let them out later.

Hope all are well and coping with the looong winter months. Saw some daffodills coming through on our walk yesterday, please let spring be on its way!

[Gauchita]