May Baby Mayhem!

[Bodeccia]

Hello fellow May mums. Let's follow on from our lovely ante-natal threads, here's the first of the post-natal ones. Join us as we work out how to handle nappies, feeding, colic, crying and all things newborn, or just to celebrate the joys of a new baby!

LittleSarah what a horrible night for you :( I'd been hoping things were getting better for you. Don't feel guilty about DH - you also have an important job looking after the DC, and need rest and support too. I felt miserable even feeding Z in the rocking chair in the corner of the room, with DH snoring in bed (horrid uncomfortable chair it is too - going on eBay as soon as I get round to it!), and felt rather - dare I say - resentful after we had DD1 and DD2 and he used to get the odd nights sleep in the spare room. I know it's hard for them - my DH gets up at 5am on monday mornings to beat the rush hour on the M25 (has a 2-3 hour commute), and sometimes he has to do it on very little sleep, but sometimes I just think you need to share the burden. Night feeds got so much better when I started feeding Z in bed - just felt more supported being near DH and he can hold my hand even if he's asleep! Can you just collapse on the sofa without tidying first? I know my HV would be 100% behind that as a course of action (that woman would have me do nothing)!!!

DD1 had her first taster session at school this pm. She decided to be all shy and basically hung onto me and hid behind me, wouldn't say her name or anything! I ended up being the last mum there. After I escaped left, she was fine and had fun playing with one of the reception children, but I don't think she played with any of the children her age. Hopefully she will play with them next week. Not too bad if she doesn't I suppose, as all the classes are shared between 2 year groups, so the girl she played with today will be in her class in september. The other mums seem nice on the whole, the teachers were lovely, and none of the children appeared to be delinquents!

I did however make a bit of a fool of myself... I put Z in her carseat on the Quinny Zapp frame to take her into school, then when I left, I loaded her and her carseat back into the car, and drove off.... When I returned an hour or so later, I thought "oh look, someone else has a Zapp like mine... oh sh*t, that is mine!!!" Yes, I had left my buggy on the curb , and amazingly it was still there . I then had to coolly park, get out of the car in front of all the other mums from DD1's class, fold said buggy (which was next to someone else's car by that point) and take it back to my car.... all as if this were perfectly normal. I got a couple of funny looks, as I looked like a madwoman / buggy thief. I told two of the other mums what I'd done, and luckily they thought it was quite funny!!! One of them offered to take the buggy into the playground to look after it, if I ever did it again .

Oh, and the same mum pointed out that at least I'd remembered the baby...

Thanks cupcakefairy and catsycat - that's good to know that periods have come back so soon for others. Everything I've read seems to deny that this would happen! I was going to ring my GP if the cramps and spotting continued into a third day but thankfully, they seemed to be gone yesterday. I suspect it may have been a case of me overdoing things a bit. I have got S into his carrier now and had been lugging him around in it for a couple of days. Maybe that put a bit of a strain on things.

LittleSarah sorry you had a rubbish night - that was me two nights ago. It left me feeling so rough and frustrated :( S had three unsettled and fussy nights in a row, not wanting to sleep, not latching properly, etc. Last night he returned to normal thank goodness, but I found I still had to help him latch correctly when he was sleepy as he didn't seem to want to open his mouth fully. He does it with one breast in particular and it makes things sore :(

Catsy, you made me laugh with your buggy story! Sounds like the sort of think I'd do in a sleep deprived daze!

Sorry sleep's not been great LittleSarah, fingers crossed it gets better. We're still getting an awake and grunting phase for an hour around 5 or 6am. We've started putting Adam down to bed awake in his cot at around 7.30. It's going really well and he drifts off on his own without a peep. Then the last couple of nights he's fed at 1am and 4am, then awake for an hour about 5.30.

I've started drinking fennel tea as I heard it could help with baby's wind-Adam was starting to look quite pained by it. He's been a bit less windy since I started, no idea if it's just coincidence or not though. I actually hate fennel but fennel tea is okay, tastes nice but I don't like the smell.

I had to go into the minor injuries unit at the hospital today as my wrist had got extremely sore and swollen. Turned out I've strained a tendon, I've been told I need to rest it for 6-8 weeks. I'm trying to learn to do things one handed but it's really hard. Feeding Adam is hard as it's painful to hold him or move him around. I can't even do up my own bra or put my hair in a ponytail so I'm feeling pretty low to be honest. There's a big bruise coming out so hopefully the pain will subside a bit once all the bruising's out. DH is on holiday this week and my parents are going to try and make it next week to help. It's hard having to be so reliant on other people as normally I'm stubbornly independent.

On a more positive note we're getting lots of big grins and cooing from Adam now. Had him weighed yesterday and he is now 10lb 13oz, so 4 1/2 pounds over birth weight now and creeping up the centiles. What a relief after ds1 who has been below the 2nd centile since 14 weeks old!

Hello.

Is it okay if I join? I was on the Late May thread :)

I gave birth on Saturday 26th May to my beautiful baby girl Beatriz Rosa, 7lbs 4oz.

Finally settling into life as a Mummy. DH is working 65 hours, 6 days a week, at the moment. It's been hard without him but we're plodding on :)

ballroom, glad things have settled a bit with the spotting.

wriggle sorry about your wrist, it sounds horrid. No wonder it's getting you down. Did they give you anything for it (gel, painkillers etc) - I suppose it's difficult with bf to take anything good. Great news about Adam's weight gain! Zuleika was really windy last night - kind of pumping her leg up and down and trumping like crazy!! It looked quite painful. She usually isn't that windy, so I'm not sure if it was something I ate that did it. I might be buying the fennel tea too if she continues - hoping it was a one off though!

Hello Hippie. Congratulations on your new baby! Your DH's work commitments sound really tough - sounds like you're doing well though!

Feeling quite chipper as I had nearly 7 hours sleep last night!!! Z fed 11-12ish, and again at 7.15. Was when I woke up this morning - had to go and check she was OK! Not sure if this will last, or was just a one off. Tostaky, re the poo discussion earlier, there was only a tiny amount in Z's nappy this morning, so I'd say it's definitely slowing down.

Thanks catsy. Bloody aspirin and NSAID allergy means I'm stuck on paracetamol, but I do have a stash of extra strong codeine for when it gets really bad. Can't take too much though as high doses aren't good when bf. I have a splint to wear for next couple of days to immobilise and help heal. I'm also trying arnica cream and tablets to bring out the bruising.

Some people swear what you eat doesn't affect the baby but I know with DS if I ate anything that makes DH windy (beans, onions, broccoli, most things really!) then DS had bad wind too at the same time as DH. I'll never forget the two of them after a caramelised onion pizza dh and I ate. Adam certainly seems better since I started the fennel tea but you can never prove it's the tea, it might just be his digestion maturing. Fennel tea is also supposed to be good for milk production.

Good sleep there from Z, hope it's left you feeling better.

Hi there Hippie. Well done for coping with your dh's hours and congratulations in your daughter.

wriggle, arnica is pretty good, so hope it helps!

What I ate never seemed to affect DD1 or DD2 at all, but definitely does affect Z. I haven't worked out properly what sets her off, but sadly Thai green curry and Lamb Madras both resulted in sleepless nights for everyone. Now I'm compensating for lack of curry with more cake and chocolate - bad news! I'm afraid I did have an unsympathetic little chuckle at the thought of your DH and DS parping away together! :) I'd better skip the fennel tea if it produces more milk!!! I remember when expressing for DD1 realising I was producing 1.2 - 1.5 litres a day.... I'm trying to avoid expressing atm, as I don't want to encourage things!

BTW had my gynaecology appt yesterday, and was only in there 10 minutes. And I got to keep my knickers on the whole time - yay! The consultant thinks my uterus will contract "eventually", and found nothing but a small fibroid when she scanned me (the fibroid was news to me). The worst bit was the scan which was quite painful, as she was pressing really rather hard on my scar for a couple of minutes. Glad that's over!!!

Hello all

Sorry I am not managing to respond to you guys properly at the moment, so tired.

Wriggle - Sounds like Adam is a bit more settled than my boy but I'm sure you are still tired too! He is gaining weight like a trouper too which is fab. Finn is also creeping up the centiles so something is working...

cupcake - Funnily enough Finn has started to settle in his moses basket during the day. He is a great daytime sleeper and sleeps for hours. Of course I don't really rest as I have ds1 around, plus now I worry that it is the long day sleeps buggering up our nights but I don't know how to to repair. Apart from creating a bedtime at 2 months or so I've never really tried to enforce any particular sleep patterns. Will see how things go...

Catsy - LOve it that your HV would 'just have you do nothing.' That made me smile. I have done little today myself, a few dishes here and there. Yesterday I made a curry and it seemed to take all day. Last night was another bad one. Fully awake from 1am to 3am. I listened to 'Mrs Robinson's Disgrace' on my ipod as I paced the bedroom floor, it kind of suited the melancholic mood. Still, accepting that you just need to get up works better than desperately staying in bed pleading with baby to go back to sleep.

ballroom - I hope S is still behaving well for you, you just never know sometimes. I'm hoping this a phase that will settle without any big changes from me but that may be wishful thinking.

Really must go to bed... not something I look forward to... moan moan moan. Sorry!!

hi hippie we can plod together as my DH is still working overseas. he tends to leave Sunday about 5pm & returns Fri about 730am. it is tough. hope you are getting on ok.

DS went down just after 9, woke at 3 for a quick feed and is fast asleep now. Unfortunately I'm not, and have been awake since that 3am feed. My problem is falling back to sleep myself. Been lying awake in bed listening to DS breathing and DH snoring on the other side for 2 hours before I got up.

Yesterday was our most active day so far as well, a morning shopping trip (where he fell asleep in the pram so I treated myself to a bacon butty and a hot cup of tea), baby stay and play at the children's centre (he slept through that as well), a HV weigh-in (13lb 9 at 5 weeks) and a friend visiting in the evening.

I'm amazed by how you ladies with DH's working overseas manage, I'm ready for a "break" (aka chores) by the time mine gets home in the evening.

sircharles that must be difficult for you. When will he be back properly?

I'm managing okay, although everything has to be very organised. I'm lucky that Bea seems to have settled herself into a routine fairly quickly. She wakes up around 2:30am for a feed, then sleeps until 7ish. That's when we get up, feed Bea, feed me, express milk, wash up, hoover downstairs, shower, bath Bea, clean bathroom, hoover upstairs, walk the dogs, feed Bea, feed me, generally do more chores in the afternoon, feed Bea, make Dinner, feed me and DH, tidy up, feed Bea, bed :)

I never seem to stop, I lost all of my pregnancy weight 2 days after the birth, and now I've lost another 5lbs. It's no wonder really, I'm like a fart in a spacesuit! :)

I've been making my way through the thread trying to catch up on everyone. Forgive me if I seem a bit lost with the conversation at first xx

I'm hoping I'm not talking too soon, but for the second evening in a row, baby fell asleep on his own in his Moses basket...!!

Is that a routine starting???!!!!

Will post more later after DS1 & 2 are in bed

Ok .... That is half a success... Ds1&2 are chatting in bed and DS3 woke up slightly and I had to feed him back to sleep...
Still, if I can have ds3 falling asleep at 7.30 on his own, that would be perfect as I would be able to bathe and read a story to the older two.
Shame it is the weekend though as DP is bound to mess up my still wobbly routine! Will have to brief him and neutralise him while DS3 fall asleep!!!
Thanks everybody who suggested that a routine was possible as such a young age, I would have never imagine this would be possible with ds1 or 2!!
Off to re-read your news, I'm on my phone and can't see the thread when I'm posting...

Wriggle - our babies have the same sleeping pattern! Waking up to feed at 1 and then awake between 4-5am...!
Hopefully it will improve soon!

Hi hippy, welcome! I very much like the name beatriz, and it's shorten version "bea". I have a Spanish friend called bea too . Please give me your weight loss secret!!! (unless it is "do not buy chocolate")

Sir Charles & hippy - don't you think sometimes it is easier without our husband because when they are here, thy can mess up the routine?!! If course, it is a million time better when thy are around but it really annoys me when DP ignore my routine because he wants to spend more time with the kids and then it makes it harder for me!!

Catsy - my downfall is coffee, so I drink decaf all day long but I keep thinking that all the decaf + all the cafein in the chocolate are probably too much for DS3... Maybe that is why he was unsettled a couple of weeks ago...

Littlesarah, hope sleep improve very soon for you!!! I know it is not easy!!

Catsy - loved your story about forgetting the buggy. I could totally do that too!!

Hi everyone, just checking in to say I'm still here, and keeping up with everyone's news. I just find it so hard to find time to post at the moment! Plus I still have a pile of thank you letters to write and birth announcents to send, and thank you's for dd1's presents (birthday and party a week ago). So I should do that really before I spend time writing in here!
Big day yesterday. Dd2 had to go in to have her tonsils out, so all quite stressful and emotional. Made more complicated by not being able to bring a newborn in, so had to leave dd3 with my parents from 7am to 8pm. They brought her to hospital at lunchtime to do one feed in a public waiting room, but she had to have bottles the rest of the day. Poor dd2 is quite poorly. Operation went well, but she was very lethargic / unresponsive for some of the afternoon. I guess it's just how anaesthetic affected her. She now has to stay in with us, no socialising or going into public enclosed spaces for 2 weeks. So she will be v.bored by week 2 I think.
Today I have DH's family all visiting for lunch, with a sick child and newborn to care for, house is v.messy, not sure how we will get it all sorted in the next few hours. Bad timing - but they had this date booked in before we got the operation call-up and they can't all do a different date so are still keen to come.... Will be glad when today's over.
Sorry to moan, this is very me, me, me.
Hope you got a bit more sleep last night littlesarah, very sympathetic about the tiredness. Unfortunately, I don't have any great solutions to offer....hopefully time and development will change the pattern sooner rather than later for you.

Oh littlesarah our finns sound a bit too similar. My Finn is also very good at sleeping in the daytime and tends to have long awake periods at night. I dont know how to change it but think it might have something to do with him being a windy wee soul. In the day he gets carried around in the sling a lot and help upright while at night I expect him to sleep flat so he seems to be struggling to pump or poo by half way through the night. I am hoping this will sort itself out as I dont know what to do about it. I also think the sudden quiet when ds1 goes to bed is slightly unsettling for him as he is used to it all day. Sometimes he wakes up the moment the quiet starts. He is asleep in his vibrating chair just now.
I am tired but coping only because DH does not work long hours, I do not know how all of you with dhs working away etc cope if you dont have help, especially with two young ones.

We are settling into a bit of a routine just now, in that ds wakes about 5.30 feeds grunts and moans for an hour or two and usually goes back to sleep just before ds1 wakes up at 7ish. I get up with DS1 (unless DH is not at work :)). We try and get breakfast and get ready before ds2 gets up again but sometimes he wakes up or hasnt got to sleep properly in the first place. If he stays sleeping he can sleep til 11. Ds1 and I play til he wakes up, ds2 wakes up feeds, is awake for a wee while then gets cranky and wants to sleep again so we go out with baby in sling for a walk (sometimes pushing lazyds2 in the buggy). Baby sleeps in sling while we play more. Baby wakes up feeds, sometimes we go out and do something (library, soft play with a friend, visit grandparents etc), Come home put baby to sleep, get dinner sorted, dh comes home about 5. Baby wakes up when dinner ready so I cant eat. Feed baby, baby haas wee nap until ds goes to sleep at 7. Baby wakes up for longest time sometimes til 9, sometimes til 11. baby sleeps wakes up twice in night, day begins again. Sorry that was a bit longwwinded and makes me feel tired thinking about it. Generally I do all chores and get sorted for the next day after ds1 in bed and dh looking after finn. I try to do mega abouts of washing and sorting at the weekends so there is not too much to do during the week but that doesnt always work.

What does everyone elses days look like?
totatsky tried cutting out caffiene altogether in my diet with ds 1 as he was such a bad sleeper but it made no difference at all. So this time round I drink copious amounts to go with my chocolate consumption :)
Had 3 single childless friends around last night while dh was out. Was quite funny as they all sat around looking exhausted complaining about their tough days, while I felt quite ok and made dinner put kids to bed etc as they all lay on the couches :). Couldnt help thinking what wimps they were considering the amount of sleep I am getting. Was really good to have some company and think about things other than babies though.

Tostaky Sir Charles & hippie my DH also works away - usually he leaves about 5am on a monday and gets back round 9pm on wednesday or thursday. I also find things go a bit awry when he is here. DD1 and DD2 are definitely naughtier when he is here (I think they are trying to monopolise his attention on the basis that if he is telling them off they have all his focus - otherwise he does nice things with them, and they have to share him! ). Zuleika has even been more unsettled since he got back - so annoying, but must be coincidence at 4 weeks old, surely????? Tostaky like the idea of "neutralising" DH!!! Made me smile - how are you planning to acheive this???

MrsHoarder sometimes I find myself looking forward to the chores. I think I've gone wrong! Glad to hear you got time for hot tea during your day out :)

LittleSarah you must be so tired :( Hope you are OK, and things improve for you soon.

Lucky so sorry to hear about DD2 being poorly - sounds very stressful indeed. Hope lunch went OK - you're very brave, think I would have cancelled regardless!

Wriggle have caved and bought the fennel tea, though haven't drunk any yet (don't remember liking it that much!). Z has been really flatulent the last couple of days. I have been on antibioitics for the last 3 weeks though, so I wonder if that has had a bearing. Finished the last tablet this morning, so hoping things improve!

Enjoy your saturday evening everyone :)

Evening all

Look at me rocking my Saturday night in front of the computer, I'm so hard core (not)

I hope things are more settled for you littlesarah, sometimes I have really good nights, sometimes really crap ones.

I am waiting to see what little faux pas I do, catsy, I'm sure there will be plenty. I'm glad no one went off with your chassis (I would have the same story except I would take 5 minutes trying to collapse mine in front of the other ladies, looking even more like the thing wasn't mine...)

Hi hippie, make yourself at home, love the name Bea, very cute :)

wriggle: how is your wrist?

luckynumer11: hope your day with the family wasn't too knackering, sorry to hear about your DD2's op. I hope she gets well soon.

goodname: I have been relishing non-baby talk recently. I love coming on here, even if I don't post every time, but it is also nice to think about something else.

Respect to all those whose DH/Ps are away for some of the time. Especially those who have more than one LO to look after.

I've been wondering what to do about routines at the moment. I go from thinking it is better to let something emerge organically from A's needs (she's only 5 weeks after all), to trying to guide her to having 4 or 5 hours sleep in the day to encourage sleeping at night. I've been trying to get her feeding in more blocks of time rather than, like, all the time (as she was doing).

And I've been feeling like I've not been doing myself any favours with how I'm getting her to sleep: apparently I'm supposed to be getting her to settle herself to sleep, that is the "golden rule".

Can you tell I've been reading books? I only ever get anxious about what I'm doing when I read the flipping books.

The result is that today I have been trying to get her to settle in her cot. Well, she's now had about 1 hour's sleep since 7.30am. She's not grumpy and over tired, she's totally normal. It is as if she just doesn't need sleep (although I know she must be sleep deprived). I really don't get it.

The only thing that has been good about reading books, is that I feel more reassured about co-sleeping. I am a bit bored of the raised eyebrows when I mention to friends that we're all in one bed at the moment. But the books (well the ones I read anyway) say that it is all good. So, I remain confused but more resolute that I should just stick with what feels right.

FWIW, these are the books I've been reading, they're not bad actually. They make me far less anxious than the books by she-who-must-not-be-named.

The Wonder Weeks

Your baby week by week

One last bit of exciting news: we are taking delivery of a second hand cot tomorrow! We're going to get a mattress (and I want to buy a mobile ), and we'll be able to have the side down as she sleeps next to us. This should hopefully make me feel more hopeful about not having a 5 year old in our bed in the future.

I want to go to bed! :(

Catsycat Tostaky & hippie ah, how lovely not to be the only one alone with a newborn, although this is my first and we are having BF /weight gain problems so it is a little fraught at times. My DH leaves on a Sunday afternoon, flies away and returns early Fri = around 730am. he does upset things when he getd back tho - camnnot get PFB to sleep in his cot when DH is here but works fine in the week!

enjoy the weekend.

Lol... What did I say... DS1 &2 went to bed one hour later than usual today and DS3 "routine"... Well let's just not talk about it...
All because of DP!!!
He doesn't work away But leaves the house at 6.30 every morning to be back only at 8.30pm... Crazy long hours.... Rarely he gets to see the children during the week. Sometimes early in the morning for 5-10 mins or sometimes in the evenings for a kiss and good night...

Tonight, we are not on speaking term because of football! He didn't help me during the match, he was glued to his computer screen.... So i decided not to talk to him after the kids were in bed and he went to sleep with them...! I know by breakfast tomorrow everything will be fine though, I just hate how he behave when there's a match... Glad its only a few weeks every other years though!!

Not sure whether there's a match tomorrow eve.... Hopefully not, so I can try with the routine again.

Ps: I was planning to "neutralise" him by keeping him busy with the train set and Legos...!!
Oh and I bought some organic nappies called "attitude"... Do not buy!!! It is a waste of money, poo and wee leak do much that someone could think you forgot to put a nappy on!

Right need to sleep now!!!

I generally find that DH is quite unhelpful during the times he is at home. He leaves me to deal with Bea because he's often on the laptop or watching Euro 2012, then he complains that she 'doesn't know who he is'. I'm much more content when he is at work. I don't know if it's hormones or what, but I don't like him at all lately.

I've been getting Bea to settle on her own in her crib since we first came home. It was hard at first because she grunted and whinged to herself, but now she is fine with it, and it seems to work well.

Bodeccia Bea was sleeping a lot in the day and waking a lot at night. At first I thought I'd leave her to it and she'd settle into a routine eventually. Then on the advice of other MNers, I started to keep her awake after daytime feeds by bathing her, playing with her etc. Now we get a good 4 hours between feeds at night, meaning I only have to wake up once with her around 2am.

Tostaky I think my weight loss is a combination of only putting 17lbs on during my pregnancy, walking the dogs for miles everyday, and not having 5mins to sit down a day haha! Not something that I would recommend.

xx

Morning all

Sleep update: after a mammoth day yesterday with 1 hours worth of 10 minute catnaps, A went to sleep at 10pm, woke at 2.45am, then again at 5.30am and lastly at 8am. Not bad really. I'll keep doing it and see what happens, you've reassured me hippie :)

tostaky: I think my DH quite likes it when I don't speak to him... sigh

At times I have felt quite resentful to DH since A came along. I think it is because my world has completely changed, and his life has been relatively unaffected. He still has his routines (work, football, computer, mates) and his abilities (he can drive, go for a run and so on). I can't even go for a walk with A in the pram because there are no pavements where we live and the road is super busy! My life revolves around our bedroom, the room where my computer is, the bathroom, and sometimes the kitchen and sitting room. That's it. He gives up at the first obstacle (if he can't put on a specific babygrow, he says it is rubbish and gets out a new one), asks me where things are that are right in front of him etc. I think he's just a bit unconfident with A. I've had to just try things out and see if they work, it doesn't make me an expert.

I'm sure all this will change, I have my 6 week check on Friday. Hopefully I'll be able to drive and I won't feel so isolated.

Have a good Sunday everyone (hope it doesn't rain too much where you are)