May Baby Mayhem!

[Bodeccia]

Hello fellow May mums. Let's follow on from our lovely ante-natal threads, here's the first of the post-natal ones. Join us as we work out how to handle nappies, feeding, colic, crying and all things newborn, or just to celebrate the joys of a new baby!

[MindfulBear]

hello baldhedgehog [waves] I think it is just thee and me now lurking on here!!!!

I work for one of the Big 4 Advisory/Business Consulting/Tax/Accounting Firms. I Am just on an internal transfer for a at least 2 years. It gives me a diferent perspective on work and makes me value what I had. WE will see what this means for the way I work when I leave Africa.

DH had his work permit awarded this morning - hurrah! Gives him the right to work here for the next 5 years so gives us some stability I hope - well it will if he gets a job:)

IT also means he should fly back soon. phew. This time it has been nearly 5 weeks of part time single mother whilst working full time. exhausted.com
I do not know how single mums do it. I guess they just get on with it like I have been doing but it has really wiped me out and I have not even tried to do too much. I have not had the time - often I Am asleep before 8pm!!! Alarm clock goes off at 545am to start the day (we are out the door by 645am to get PFB to nursery for breakfast and me to the office/gym then office by 7am)

This is not our forever place. There are just too many problems - social economic, education, employment, infrastructure. We have had regular power outages since December and some water outages too. not great. why they dont have solar powered traffic lights I do not know but the roads are chaos with these rolling blackouts. Imagine starting a power outage at 4pm - crazy. (4pm here is like 5 or 6pm back in the UK - rush hour. normal office hours are 8am-430pm but many people do pre 7am - 3pm to avoid the traffic or at least to get home in the daylight to walk their dog or go for a run or just to not have to drive in the dark. Gets dark around 7pm at the moment and it is mid summer. I do miss long british summer evenings)

I find the whole potty training topic hard to handly because I really had very little to do with it..... so I have no words of wisdom sadly! Lots of nappy off time helped but that is only of use in the summer when they can wander round the garden and wee anywhere to their hearts content :) well that is what we ended up doing because otherwise I was having to change his clothes 6 or 7 times. Had to ask the MiL in the UK to buy more clothes for DH To bring over as we were in danger of runningout!!!! The only problems we have now is when he gets an upset stomach and suddently there is nastiness pouring down his leg. had a few incidences recently. yuk.

anyway. good luck with your return to work.

& yes if anyone else is lurking please do say hi!

[BaldHedgehog]

Hiya MindfulBear ,sorry for not replying to you sooner but…oh gosh,just don't know where to start.Boys finally went to bed so I have a few minutes to myself (after a spot of cleaning).

I don't want to be nosey but what do you do for a living?You don't have to say if you don't want to,it's just looks so exciting from the outside(Africa,wow).

We decided to go for DC2 as we're both older and none of our siblings has children so our DS1 would be the only 1 in whole generation.It is hard physically,mentally and financially.
Currently I'm negotiating my return to work,can't wait to have a rest.I'm on the go morning till night and also during the night-DS1 sometimes wakes up,DS2 is teething.

DS1 will go to the nursery after the summer-that will be his free hours.
DS2 is a dream baby as opposed to DS1-no reflux or colics,doesn't even feed too often or long.
DS1 is a wind up merchant-his vocabulary is fantastic,he started to speak with whole sentences.No luck with potty training,he just doesn't want to and that's it.And yes,we talked about it,he has his potty,toilet,big boy neenaw pants are ready and he just flat refuses.

Anyway,best of luck to you,sorry for such a brief answer after such a long time but I have no brains left.

Take care,nice to see you still lurking here :)

Regards to you and your family,fx for the work permit for your OH!

Anybody else lurking?If so please say how are you getting on?

[BaldHedgehog]

Will reply another day as boys keep me busy during a day and too knackered in the evening.Congrats on the job and potty trained toddler mine still literally takes a piss !:)

[MindfulBear]

btw nc from sircharles and trying2bmindful!

[MindfulBear]

we have also been v busy - moved to Africa with my job. such a relief after London. my return to work was a disaster. not really a job for me to do in the first 6 months and then expected to work mental hours with inadequate support for a few months. Was crazy. I took this assignment overseas to get back some sanity. I probably work similar hours to the ones I expected to do when I returned to work in April 2013 but there is a lot more flexibility. More acceptance of the fact I have outside commitments: so I work 7am - 2/3pm, pick T up from nursery, do the tea / bath / bed time routine and then log back on after 730pm if I need to. Works for us anyway. I was working an 80% contract but moved up to 90% now, although I work full time most of the time so I can use the extra time off as holiday to work around Teddy's school holidays and to take time off when people visit us or when we want to go back to the UK.
sadly DH still does not have a work permit. For the first few months he split his time between here and London but then his contract ended so he has been "between" jobs since August. No contracts in London and hard to get one here without a work permit. Fingers crossed his application this month is accepted.... he has to return to London next week to apply at the SA High Commission and it might take a month or 6 weeks so will be a pain for me and T. I do hope he gets it. Otherwise we will curtail my assignment to return to London or take another assignment overseas.
Has anyone else started thinking about schools? One of the reasons we will curtail this assignment is that to get T into a good state primary in England I understand we need to live in the right place by end of Jan 2016 for the Sept 2016 intake. We do not have a house in the UK right now so would need to find somewhere to rent within 200m (or whatever distance is required) of what we would consider a good school...... eek! Which means if DH is still not working then I will need to send him back by end of November to find a convenient property to rent.....

How on earth having a DC#2 fits into this plan we have no idea!!!!

Baldhedgehog how did you decide the time was right to have #2?! or did you take the russian roulette route (which is what we did when we decided we might be old enough to start a family back in 2010/2011!!!)

[MindfulBear]

hello! Congrats on the addition - we have not got to that point yet - maybe this year :) How has your 2yo been with the new LO? T tells me he wants a baby sister.....!

at Christmas: i had the carrot and a mince pie, DH had the other mince pie and the brandy!!! What about you?!

T "potty trained" himself a couple of months ago.... most odd. unexpected but a blessed relief. He was wearing washable nappies and anecdotally I hear such kids tend to "train" about 6 months before their counterparts in 'sposies.

I think at nursery there were a number of kids in his class who had potty trained and he wanted to be like them. to be like "the big boys". He wanted to wear "big boys pants". We had some already but not enough (for the first week we needed about 5 pairs a day!!! ) DH took T shopping and they bought some pants together - both boxer shorties and some ordinary boy pants. T was very pleased with them :)

He tried giving up nappies around 2yo and after a fortnight he decided he would rather wear nappies again "no more pants mummy, want my nappy". around the same time his vocab came on AMAZINGLY - suddenly he went from wittering unintelligibly to speaking in sentences. so just goes to show that people who say toddler brains can only cope with one development leap at a time are spot on. A couple of months ago he again decided he was not going to wear nappies during the day so we tried again with the pants. Went quite well. only a few accidents a day for the first few weeks and now we only have accidents where there is too much going on and he doesnt want to stop doing what he is doing to make it to the potty or loo.

He is still wearing nappies at night time.

[BaldHedgehog]

Fine here,thank you although a bit busy as we've had a new addition to our family 6 months ago.
So who's had much needed brandy and who ended up with a carrot?
DS still too small to understand the concept of Christmas.
If anybody still looks at this thread- have you started potty training yet?
Happy New Year to everybody!

[MindfulBear]

just checking in.... how are you all doing with your almost 3 yos?! T did not quite understand what was going on over Christmas but he did enjoy it nonetheless. I think me and DH were more excited about putting out a mince pie & brandy for FC and a carrot for the reindeer!!!!

Happy new year to all.

[Catsycat]

If I'm honest, on a bad day, you cope because you have to, and you do get used to it!!! I'm sure you'll be OK - if I can do it, anyone can :) Hope all goes well for you, Hedghog.

[BaldHedgehog]

Catsy how nice to see you :) (nc lime here)

I can only take my hat off you with 3 as I'm struggling with 1 sometimes and thought about DC2 being like DS scares me sooo much.Best of luck andregards to your family :)

[Catsycat]

Hi Lime. Hope all is going well! Lovely news :)

All going well here, though hardly have any time to look on MN with 3 of the little darlings running me ragged!

[LimeFlower]

Hello,is anybody around?

Just a quick visit-if everything goes well DS is going to be a big brother just after his 2nd birthday :)

[LimeFlower]

Hello Trying
Doing fine,thank you but I'm not going to write long post now as having internet issues-hopefully we'll get it sorted by next week,will write something more then.
How's work?I'm back to mine in 2 weeks,part of me can't wait but the other...eeek!Scary!
Happy birthdays babies,have a lovely time and fantastic cakes!
Any birthday prezzie suggestions most welcome :)

[Trying2bMindful]

Found you!! Happy 1st birthday !!!
How is everyone doing?

[photochick]

doh it seems I am still on the wrong thread. Please ignore!

[photochick]

Hello, was wondering if I can join your thread. I was on the April one but my LO didn't arrive till 3rd May. Alot of April people are talking routines already but we have only been home a bit over a week so feel a bit behind!

[Trying2bMindful]

Lol at your LO chasing & killing spiders!!!!!
Ours took 4 steps unaided tonight as If he has always known how to do it. I could have cried. My little man is growing up.

[LimeFlower]

Trying that's crap at work.I also work at the corporation but on the shop floor so at least there's something to do so the time passes quickly.
A bit shocked at your CM-what did she want to achieve by lying?Good you found a replacement but is it temporary or permanent?
Congrats on the shoes :)
As for the party I was thinking about getting the girls with babies for a coffee and a bit of cake and then a family meet up (dreading this bit as some of DH's relatives are a bit OTT).PFB will be too small to remember anyway so up to you what do you want-maybe meet up in the soft play?
Awww at the wedding-he must have looked sooo cute :)

DS is teething like mad and very grumpy,not sleeping and...starts to cruise round the furniture.Once he finds the balance he'll be off like a rocket-currently thrashing the kitchen in his walker-managed to break 2 fridge magnets and open the drawer with food containers and scatter them on the floor.What next?

On the plus side-he managed to chase and kill 2 spiders

[Trying2bMindful]

Happy first birthdays!!
My return to work has been a shock - had to sack the nanny within 3 weeks as she was crap at communication & PFB screamed like she was a potential murderer. Plus she lied about a few things which I found v difficult to accept.
Luckily we had identified a potential childminder as a back up solution. It is only temporary as she is too far from our new home but PFB seems so much better with her. I guess he just did not like that nanny. V weird but I just could not leave him with her. Am so relieved he is happier with the childminder. He slept loads and would not pooh during the day with the nanny - not a good sign at all I am told! Phew. Such a relief he is happier!
Work is a shock anyway as the return to the corporate world after such a long break would be. It's boring and people talk a load of bullshit. It drives me mad. & they sit at their desks for far too many hours. Surely they must be surfing FB and shopping on line?!! I cannot believe they are working all that time.....

I am Breastfeeding PFB so I rush out the door to be home in time for bath & bed time. I don't like to get in too early either so I can feed him before his breakfast. It's working for us and I'm not expressing at work. Going 12 hours between feeds has not been a problem - another sign he is growing up!! People keep asking me when I will stop bf and I just say I don't know. I'm not against doing it for longer though.... We shall see!!

so work is boring but PFB is amazing. One week he barely sleeps so DH & I are cream crackered and then suddenly he starts sleeping for 9 hours straight - for the first time ever. Yay!!!! Long may it continue....

Bought him his first (pre walker) shoes last week my baby is growing up so fast

He walked down the aisle at my brothers wedding this weekend. Holding the hands of 2 of the BMs. So cute. I could have cried!! Wearing linen shorts, waistcoat, white shirt and a little bow tie. Just adorable.

Are any of you planning a 1st bday party? I'm considering it but not sure..... Who would we invite? What would they do? A barbie and drinks or afternoon tea party... Do I need to provide entertainment, like a bouncy castle, for older kids (age 4-9) or can I expect their parents to make sure they are well behaved?

[LimeFlower]

Happy 1st birthdays April and May babies :)

[LimeFlower]

I'm not even going to try describing my DS weird non sleeping pattern.I found some consolation in one of the threads in Sleep.

Trying how does it feel?I know it's a shock to the system but I must say I can't wait to go back to work-all this adult conversations,rest from my DS and money .We are allrightish financially,it just seems weird that I have to tread so carefully when it comes to finances.Anyway,went to Lidls and can tell you which things are fantastic(like greek yoghurt) or complete cr@p (meat)

Wrigglbum,sorry for not replying earlier .Congrats on 1st shoes :),nearly a month later I suppose he's running everywhere.

[Trying2bMindful]

Hello! I'm still here. Just gone back to work so a bit of a shock!!!

[LimeFlower]

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Bump

Anybody there?

[Wrigglebum]

Hello, lost you all for a bit there.

I have another one that doesn't sleep well. Naps are usually fairly consistent in the week (passes out in pushchair on way back from morning playgroup/class and sleeps anywhere from 45 mins to over 2 hrs), but on the weekend it all goes a bit nuts. He usually wakes around 10.30 for a feed then anywhere from 1-4 times more! Often feeds almost hourly from 5 in an attempt from me to keep him asleep as late as possible and not wake DH and ds1 up. Still bf but going to try a cup of milk at 10.30 tonight and see if that gives us a bit longer (doubt it). Impossible to get him asleep in the cot, will only be fed or rocked at moment. Got him asleep singing and cuddling in bed so going to try working on that to see if we can then withdraw a bit and eventually get him to go to sleep in his cot (and not howl the second he wakes up in it).

Got first shoes today! He's been standing and cruising a bit for ages but has gone mad about cruising now, constantly going round the furniture. Can stand up unsupported for quite a while now and yesterday stood himself up in the bath without holding on to anything. No real interest in push along toys though. Any walkers out there yet?

[LimeFlower]

Trying I'm not able to give you my schedule of the day as DS changes it-sometimes he has 1 nap,sometimes 2.Goes to bed at 8pm,very unhappy about it and screams (because it's not crying) until I cave in and feed him to sleep.I can't tell you how many times he wakes in the night for a feed,2-3 at last.

I don't know how people manage with more than one child,sometimes I just want to crawl under the duvet(alone) and sleep.I'd love to have another baby to give DS a sibling but it will be hard to convince DH,we are not spring chickens and I'm worried about the future.

DH doesn't help a lot (helps a bit but not lots),I can understand he wants to unwind after a day at work but he doesn't realize (yet) that looking after a child is a job itself and I might be tired myself.Roll on June,I'm back to work and then DH will see (he hinted that he might ask MIL for help).Next week I'm going to see the girl that will look after DS and make some final arrangements.

Wish you all happy Mother's Day tomorrow,whatever the day,hope you'll get lots of hugs,smiles and slobbery kisses