May Baby Mayhem!

[Bodeccia]

Hello fellow May mums. Let's follow on from our lovely ante-natal threads, here's the first of the post-natal ones. Join us as we work out how to handle nappies, feeding, colic, crying and all things newborn, or just to celebrate the joys of a new baby!

First day on my own with the three of them... So far so good!
Will catch up with your news tonight

Hello May Mums!!! Not been on this thread, but I was waiting around for ages for DD3 to arrive on the antenatal thread.
April is 4 weeks old and I don't quite think I've got the hang of her yet. My confidence with new borns has diminished with every baby - luckily I was super confident with DD1 or I'd be a quivering wreck now. How are other Mums of more than 1 handling it?
Will go back and read some more of this thread, but does anyone have anything resembling a routine? I'm sure by now DD1 and DD2 were asleep by 8pm at night and sleeping til 2 or 3am. April is going to sleep about 9:30 and we're getting a bit of crying first which I want to reduce.

Oooohhh... I posted a really long reply but it didn't work...
In short

• eBay, I'm a big fan!
• routines, for my first two I think it was around 3 months when we started something
• sore boobs, lasinoh, frozen cabbage leaves, and use your baby rather than ur pump as much as poss!
• so tired.... Zzzzzzzzz

tostaky today was my first day flying solo too.. it went well, so well in fact that I'm worried it can only go downhill from here!! Everyone was fed & dressed before 9am, we made it out to toddler gym class on time, boys napped at the same time so I could have lunch in peace.. all very lovely! Certainly a lot of nappies to change when there isn't an extra pair of hands to do some of them though!!

Hi harecare we started proper routines with ds1 at about 6 weeks but I've a feeling it may be longer with this one as he's so unsettled in the evenings. We'll see. Sorry you're not feeling v confident, hope that improves over time.

Oh and bode I can express a ridiculous amount in just a few minutes too..I could definitely be feeding twins with the amount of milk I have!

Blimey cupcake that is crazy organised! I feel a sense of achievement if I manage to get myself in the shower before 9am

tostaky: I agree to use LO more than the pump. It has just been hurting so much recently, and the pump hurts less than the baby. I had to give her a mix of breast milk and formula over the weekend. I don't even know what happened. It is getting better though.

On the subject of which... (you're going to think I'm obsessed with boobs). I have noticed an ominous red segment on the underside of my left boob. I'm sure this is what the mw described as a blocked milk duct and I have to massage it towards the nipple. I've been massaging like crazy (when do you know it is too much?) I'm going to feed A on that side and massage it again when she feeds. I so don't want a bout of mastitis.

I have another question about nipples (I'm really not obsessed...!). You know how your nipples look a bit like raspberries? Well, those of you breast feeding must have noticed when a bump on your nipple goes white. What is that? And why does that happen? Is it because she's not latched properly? Is it a blocked duct?

Its a whole new world...

Bodeccia does it look like this?, if so, it's a bleb or milk blister. There's advice on dealing with it on the site or kellymom or does it happen after a feed and then eventually turn back to normal? That might be vasospasm? Red triangle sounds like a blocked duct, yes.

Ugh, reflux, it's so rubbish. Poor babies.
cupcake - can you settle him on his tummy and then switch onto his back?
Or have either of you investigated a sleep wedge to elevate his head above tummy? I've raised the head end of DD's bassinet in an attempt to help although tbh it doesn't seem to do anything
tostaky good on you getting onto the GP, hope the gaviscon is starting to make a difference? or do you think you'll be getting that referral?
Harecare, I definitely don't have the hang of DD yet. I made the mistake of looking at some link to Dunstan baby language, which is supposed to show different baby sounds meaning differet things and then drove myself mad trying to hear DD's. I've come to the conclusion that she doesn't speak the same language.
Catsy - sorry to hear it all turned a bit custardy after such a lovely start! DD3 may well get more efficient quite soon, DD definitely feeds more quickly now at 7 weeks and has been for a while. The getting harder to settle thing might not be the mastitis, it could just been the general fussiness that seems to kick in around the two-week mark and continues on. Is it this week that your DH has gone back to work? Hope it's going ok, I found that the prospect of doing it all myself was actually worse than that reality. Although I expect with CFS you're going to need to watch your energy carefully, I'm pretty exhausted at the end of the day - literally drained. Hard decision about whether to give up BFing to help care for everyone, but you do what you have to do. I'm sure you'll make the best decision for whole family.
Fussy evenings and cluster feeders - one thing to check on is that the baby isn't overtired? we've found that when DD gets v tired she also gets v sucky and wants to nurse but using a pacifier, swaddling and shushing works better to let her get to sleep. If she's really hungry she won't settle, so there's no risk of supply/weight issues, and it helps to avoid that sore tummy/feed/cry cycle that she got into a couple of times. Of course cluster feeding does also happen. I think DD does a bit of a cluster in the mornings now as she's going longer in the night.

We've been getting some decent stretches of sleep recently, normally from about 9pm to 4:30AM - that's her sleeping, I've been heading to bed around 10:30 once I've waited to see whether she's going to wake or not. We're not on a routine or anything but I try to keep my eye on feed and sleep times - so time since last feed (she typically wants another feed around 3hrs) and time since she woke (she typically starts fussing and needs to be helped off to sleep about 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 hrs awake time). Of course it all goes out the window if I have to get her into the car to get DS to daycare or if she vomits up a feed - then neither she nor I seem to be able to work out what she wants.

Re: house/organisation. I have been trying to sew some basic fleece curtains to help insulate the windows. It has taken me nearly 3 weeks to 1. Clear the dining table, 2. Find the sewing machine and transfer it to the table, 3. Measure windows and calculate fabric required, 4. Buy fabric. I still haven't actually cut the fabric or sewed the curtains. And tomorrow is the last of DS's daycare days for this week.
I have a form I was supposed to fill out BEFORE DD was born that still isn't done. I can't even decide which day to increase DS's daycare to, and I'm in serious need of a haircut. I can almost guarantee that it will be another 6 weeks before I get one.
I count it a good day if I have got myself up, showered, dressed, DS fed three meals and two snacks, one load of washing in machine and another out on the line, and the dishwasher emptied and re-stacked once in a day. It's a bonus if I've got something organised for our dinner. Sigh. I can't quite work out how it's going to get better, I suppose once she starts going to bed a bit earlier it might.

Oh I meant to add, I downloaded an app to help with the timings of things - it's called 'Tiny Time' and is basically just 4 stopwatch/timer thingies on one screen, that count up how long it's been but is very easy to get to and start one-handed. There's one for feeding, one for sleep, one for nappy and a spare one. The feeding one also quite handily has a 'R' and 'L' indicator which I find useful as I constantly forget which side I started with last. I'm not describing it well, go have a look if it sounds like something you'd find useful. I don't wear a watch but always have my iPhone in my pocket so works for me.

Hello again all!

Is there room for one more? I was due in May so feel like one of "you" even though I didn't actually give birth until 9th June!

At 40+12 I went in for an induction. Because of previous CS, they wouldn't use the pessaries so tried to break my waters to get things started. MW said my cervix was soft but still posterior so she couldn't reach it though to break them. Registrar at that point decided to try and do it herself so asked for me to have gas and air before pulling my cervix forwards and breaking them. That was the worst bit of the whole process!
3hrs later at 4pm and after no contractions, they put me on the drip and decent contractions started about 6pm at which point I was only 2cm dilated so they increased the drip. The contractions increased to 4 in 10 mins and so did the intensity but at 8pm I was still only 2 cm dilated. so the drip was increased again. At midnight when I was still only 2cm, they advised a CS for failure to progress and because there were small quantities of meconium in my waters.

So at just 13 days overdue, at 2.03am, Aoife Grace was born by CS weighing in at 9lb 11oz. I am still in shock that I have a daughter as DH and I were convinced we were having another boy. It is a wonderful surprise though and we are very happy :)

We managed to get home yesterday afternoon and so far so good. DS has been v good so far without bewing OTT. When he got home from pre-school yesterday he wanted to give her a cuddle so I sat with them both on the sofa. Aoife was crying a little and so DS just said "It's ok Aoife. I'm your brother. I'm not scary"!

The first couple of days she has been very settled but today has not settled so well in her crib and has had a bit of a feeding frenzy. She is only 3 days old though so probably just finding her appetite.

I will try and read through and catch up on your news later but I hope you're all well and enjoying your new little ones :)

That's really helpful, thanks ladybee. That's exactly what that white thing is: a milk blister. It is encouraging that I can self treat at the moment, it seems like the key is using a hot compress. I feel a bit paranoid about the red segment. The only positive thing I can say about the times bf is super painful is that it doesn't seem to last that long; if I have a period of soreness it is usually over after 24 hours or so.

Good luck with your curtains. I have nothing so ambitious going on here. At the moment my to-do lists usually include catching up with something I've missed on TV

However, I am getting good at getting us both ready and going out to town in the buggy. The bus is brilliant for getting A off to sleep and it is nice to meet other mums in various groups :)

Bodeccia- I've read a lot of places suggesting 'combing' a sore blocked area with a wide tooth comb to try and clear it. Not tried it myself though, I haven't had any yet and didn't in 9 months of feeding DS. I don't know if it makes a difference but I always wear nursing bras with really stretchy cups, they just feel so much more comfortable and my boobs change in size a bit between feeds.

Congratulations SES- saw some of your live birth thread after it was linked on here. I hope you get over your CS easily. Such a gorgeous name and your DS sounds lovely. My DS is really sweet with Adam and it just melts your heart.

Well 6 weeks post CS I'm feeling pretty good now, certainly able to do most things without pain. Adam is still feeding a lot, need to weigh him next week before his 8 week check so will be interesting to see how big he's getting! Jealous of your nice long stretches of sleep Ladybee! We had similar long sleeps from DS at this age but Adam is a lot hungrier . Can't complain too much as we normally get a four hour stretch when he first goes to sleep (and me too), had five hours last night which was great. We keep thinking we'll put him down to bed rather than having him up with us but he doesn't really have a pattern in the evening yet, is awake all evening one day then asleep the next. I think we'll wait until after the six week growth spurt time before we try.

Catsy- hope you're feeling a bit better. My bleeding stopped very quickly then started up again as I started to move around and do more. It's completely stopped now again thankfully. I can only guess the fungal infection on your scar was probably caused in part by the antibiotics for the mastitis, very annoying. Might be worth taking some probiotics? No need to feel guilty re the feeding if you do decide to give up bf, you need to look after your own health too.

Ha bodeccia in definitely not super organised! Just a lucky first day I think, plus dh has been a star getting ds1 all ready before leaving for work, and also making lunch for me & ds1 ..long may that last! :)
Sorry you're having worries with the bf.. has the blocked duct cleared now? Hope so.. never had it myself but all the advice I've heard is hot flannels..which I'm sure you've tried!

Hi ses and huge congratulations on the birth of your dd :) so cute re ds too. Mine says 'it's alright Seb' repeatedly when baby cries

ladybee that app does sound useful I'm gonna have a look for it :) I haven't tried flipping ds onto his back once he's asleep.. I put him on his tummy for his naps cos I can watch him but am too scared to at night so just have to keep feeding him til he drops off properly to go on his back.

We've actually had a crying free evening tonight as he dropped off at 8.. yippee! Also had him weighed today.. 10lbs15 at 3 weeks old chubber!

Hello all

Just a quick one as need advice!

Not getting much sleep, jealous of those who are getting longer stretches! Finlay a month old and problems seem to be beginning. Last three nights he has woken up in the early hours crying and feeding has not helped! Cue two hours of whinging/crying on and off with a little feeding and huge frustration. Basically dh and I both awake. I am so tired. Neither of the other two did this, they would feed then sleep, feed then sleep. Dh is going to sleep downstairs tonight, he needs his sleep more than me but I still feel a bit down about being left alone.

Generally he is a good wee soul and has put on plenty of weight, now 8lb 3oz, from 5lb 14oz, I just wish he would sleep a little more.

Anyway, any advice from others who have been through similar? Or just general reassurance!

Thanks all!

Have you tried white noise LittleSarah? We had many nights pacing the lounge with ds1 and found that the extractor fan worked a treat on him! It needs to be pretty loud I think generally, I think some people turn a radio to static so that might be worth a try, especially if you can train yourself to sleep with it on! If he's windy a bit of leg cycling and bending them up to the chest can help get those trumps out. Or try baby massage? We usually get an hour of pained grunting from Adam around 5-6am while he trumps away a bit, burping makes very little difference to wind coming out the other end IME.

Sounds like a great weight gain, so you're obviously doing well.

Littlesarah - I feel for you... I too for the last two nights been awake trying to soothe baby A... I think it is more a case of mixing night and day for us as he is really happy being on my shoulder looking through the kitchen window at the lampost (and the milkman doing his round!) but as soon as I go somewhere darker he cries... That or he likes the noise the fridge makes!! so yeah been up between 3 and 5am pacing the kitchen...

I definitely need to put those blackout blinds today as I can already hear DS2 chatting away.... Both older boys are at nursery today so I will be able to do a few things and rest!! What did I do before I had children, I don't know... I must have been the laziest person on earth waking up at 10-11am and not taking care of anybody...! Work is nothing compared to children!!!

Ps: I'm pretty sure that baby has already started smiling back!!!

Hi all, sorry for being AWOL for so long - who would've thought someone so tiny could make you so busy?!

Sorry to hear of sore boobs and lack of sleep. I definitely second the lansinoh - it works wonders! White noise is also a godsend - Isla has been waking st 4ish for a feed and then has been really awake. I find that putting the white noise on makes her stare at her Moses basket for a bit and then drift off. I downloaded a free white noise app called white noise lite I think - Isla's favourite is the fan noise!

All is good with us, slowly adjusting to the sleep deprivation and becoming experts at nappy changing while Isla roars at us! (she's not a fan of having her nappy changed when hungry!) I just can't believe she's a month old already, and a pound heavier than when she was born!

bodeccia I had a red patch on the underside of one boob with soreness as well. It was very sore one evening and I could barely touch it but had read that you need to keep on feeding through it to try to clear it so just did that. The next day it was bearable to touch so I massaged the area quite a bit. My health visitor recommended the comb in the shower method and warm water in general. It has sorted itself out within a couple of days.

We are having reasonably good nights - Sebastian isn't at all noisy and settles pretty well after a feed unless he's got wind. A couple of nights ago he slept from 11.45pm to 6am which was great, but generally he wakes up between 3 and 4am for a feed. He's so awake all day though and particularly in the evenings when he feeds regularly up until 11pm.

Afternoon everyone

Boob news: I think it is clearing up, thank goodness! Thanks everyone for your advice and encouragement :) I just massaged like crazy, used hot flannels and kept feeding A on that side. I think I have to be much more vigilant about making sure she latches on correctly. I heard about the comb thing, ballroom, but I didn't try it (I don't have a comb). I wasn't mad about the idea of it though, when your boobs are super sore, a comb doesn't fill you with much comfort... Much prefer the idea of frozen savoy cabbage leaves :)

ses: your birth sounds a bit like mine in that I was induced too and ended with a CS. Hope you're healing well. Aoife was a good weight, eh? You DS1 sounds blooming adorable!

Glad you're feeling well after your CS wriggle, I can't wait to be able to drive again. We live in a semi rural place and I either have to take the bus into town (which I quite enjoy, and A goes to sleep super quick). The trouble is that there is only 1 bus every 2 hours, and once I am in town I have to wait 2 hours to get back again. And it is quite expensive.

Nothing wrong with a bit of chub, cupcake, we love a bit of chub here, don't we ladies? Shows they're good, healthy, and irresistible to cuddles

Sorry to hear Finlay isn't settling sarah. On the April post natal thread they mentioned different reasons babies cry. I had a read, and then completely forgot what each one meant when A was crying, d'oh! I hope he settles soon, it is horrible seeing your baby cry when you feel so helpless to do anything.

Baby A has started smiling too, tost, while I think she's just practising her faces, it is a gorgeous taste of things to come! God, I was such an ice queen, what the hell happened??

Lovely to hear your news dreaming, baby A doesn't like her nappy being changed either (speaking of which I need to go and do that imminently, judging by the smell emanating from her nether regions...)

Baby A is super snuffly. She literally sounds like a piglet when she goes to latch on. Super cute, but not very healthy? There have been a couple of times when she looks like she's finding it difficult to breath. I'm thinking of doing something with steam to help her airways. Anyone else having breathing issues with their LOs?

Managed to get out this morning. DH took me, DS and A to Jo Jingles and whilst we were there he went and did the supermarket shopping and then came and picked us up.

Aoife still seems to be on a feeding frenzy but quite content most of the time. Her jaundice looks a lot better to me - not so tanned looking - so hopefully that's an indication that she's feeding well enough. My milk came in yesterday and it caused us a bit of a problem last night as when she woke up, she couldn't latch on which made her a bit cross. I think my boobs were just too solid and swollen. In the end, the only way I could get her to latch was to feed her lying down so she spent the night in bed with us. Although a large part of me loved co-sleeping with O for the first few months, I don't really want to get into that habit again as it meant DH was in the spare room but I guess last night was only one night and we'll see what happens tonight!

MW comes tomorrow for heel prick test, weigh in and to take my dressing off - eek! Then tomorrow evening MIL and SIL arrive to visit until Monday!

Bodeccia - good to hear positive boob news :) Aoife was a good weight but I guess she was 13 days overdue by the time she came out! You could also tell by her fingernails as they were so long!

ballroompink - That's great going on the sleeping front! What time of day was S born? Someone said to me that if they are born during the night, often their sleeping is a bit back to front.

dreaming - white noise app made me but hey if it works, it's what's needed!

LittleSarah - that sounds tough. What time of day was F born? V frustrating in the early hours so make sure you get some rest during the day when you can.

Hello to everyone else - great hearing about how you're all getting on with your little ones. Can't believe some of them are over a month old now whereas A is only 4 days old!

SES - Congratulations, what a good weight!! I met an 8 week old who is just 8lb today, made my DD look like a giant, it always surprises me to think my DDs were never that small (on the outside). Sometimes when my boobs are super full I have to sort of pinch/pull the very end of the nipple to make it easier to go in, expressing a tiny amount by hand could help too.

LadyBee - April does the same - sleeps 9 ish til 3ish, that's what I meant by routines, I think a lot of babies have the same routine even before their Mums realise. I think ours roughly follows one I found online - the E.A.S.Y. one. I also got her to sleep at 8pm tonight without the crying bit we've been having. I think as she has been feeding to sleep, it's what I'm used to so I'm just feeding her and feeding her until she drops off, but she's been crying as she's probably had enough and she just wants me to stop shoving my boob in her face!

Littlesarah Argh! Sounds like a nightmare, no advice unless you want to try putting him downstairs in his pram or moses basket for 10 mins. He'll either go to sleep or I find the 10 mins is enough to sort of rewire everything so the baby figures out what he does want - food/sleep/burp/less blanket.

Tonight I put her down awake (wow!) after she'd had a big feed and burp and was just lying peacefully in my arms after drifting off briefly and waking from feeding. I thought she'd wake again at 9pm, but so far so good...

If anyone remembers from the antenatal thread, me and DP weren't having the best time together, but I think we've weathered the storm and are out the other side. It's made me feel very unsure of myself generally and spend a lot of time living in my head, but sunny days like today help a lot. So hopefully on the way to a happy ending!

I am very proud of myself today actually! For the first 2 weeks I couldn't even pick up DD1 from school. Today we walked the school run am and pm (4 miles in total), went to the library and playgroup, made tasty spinach (from the garden) and feta pasties for tea and took DD1 to her first Rainbows session (another 1.5 miles in total), fed dd3 there, got home, put dinner in the oven, picked her up (in car - cheat!), got dd3 to nap while we ate and then dp arrived in time to do bedtime.

Parp! - That's me blowing my own trumpet

Harecare - Well done on your active day! Sounds fab. Very glad to hear you and your dp are getting on well again, that is fantastic.

Thanks to all those who gave me advice on sleeping (SES - he was born at 12.34am), of course since then he has been fine! However I can imagine it not lasting so the tips could still come in helpful. The white noise one sounds good, I just hope it doesn't drive me mad!

Bodeccia - Finlay can be quite noisy and snuffly too, in fact he sounded very stuffy when we were having sleeping problems so perhaps that was an issue? He seems okay for the moment but if you are worried I would ask the HV. I know some people hate theirs but mine is really lovely, helpful and most importantly, pragmatic. Unlike my mum, who used to be a HV, and is very stuck on milestones! (Ds not having thirty words by age 2 was a big deal for her).

Ballroompink - Finlay seems to sleep most of the day away! I know, I know, then of course he is more likely to wake at night.... I was trying to keep him awake over teatime in preparation for creating a bedtime but then the night wakefulness began. For the moment I think I will just let him dictate things.

Despite improvement in sleeping he is still feeding loads during the night so I am still avoiding looking at the clock too much. I always have these kind of babies, I never get the ones who go from 11.45 to 6 ballroom! Still at least I am used to it.

Do have some more interesting chat, like my husband's ex stepdad's new wife (complicated I know) emailing me to ask why I have a grudge against her... I don't! Not at all. MIL is to blame of course. Also the Olympic torch is coming through our village today and ds1 is having his taster nursery sessions...

But must go and have breakfast!

LittleSarah I think 11.45-6 was a one-off for the time being. Last night he did Midnight-3.30 then 4.30ish-7.30.

SES he was born at 1.15am! Apart from a handful of bad nights, he's generally been okay between midnight and 6.30 since he was born, having one or two feeds. Have so far failed to get him settled before 11.30pm though!

I reckon I've finally got the hang of April now, she seems to have a bit of a routine which is allowing me to do what I need to do with the other 2, in bed just after 8 again tonight although in a bit of a different way to last night, but still without crying. Hooray! Going down south for a week next week so it could all go to pot - hope not!

harecare fab news about you and dp, really pleased for you :)

sarah glad the sleep problems aren't every night..but totally know what you mean about feeling sad to be left alone by dh. I do all the nighttime stuff for ds as I'm exclusively breastfeeding I think it's pointless for dh to be awake too.. but I still feel a bit miffed some nights when he's just snoring away in bed and I'm changing the 3rd nappy of the night, hmph! Well done you not clock watching at night though; I'm completely obsessed with keeping track of how long he's slept but I guess it doesn't help the sanity!

ballroom...my Sebastian also wakes at around midnight and 3.30...and slept 11-6 one night last week..spooky! Are we the same person

SES wow well done you getting out and about so soon after your cs. Seb was also on a complete feeding frenzy for about the first 5 days..I was going out of my mind literally feeding all day but it did slow down after that; they're just properly bringing the milk in; hope Aoife spaces out her feeds more soon.

bode glad the duct has cleared up :)

Baby went down at about 8.30 today after lots of crying, more wind I suspect. I've been trying him with a bottle every couple of days, with just 1oz of expressed milk..he's still not drinking it properly just chewing on the teat but hoping he'll get the hang of it soon as I want to be able to go out and leave him with dh or a babysitter sometimes.

Does anyone know what the actual rules are regarding drinking alcohol when breastfeeding? Only am going to a hen party in a few weeks and just wondering if I should not be drinking or if 1 or 2 is ok...