April 2012 newborns: the insomnia continues...

[LaTristesse]

Hello fellow April mums. Following on from our lovely ante-natal threads, here's the first of the post-natal ones. Join us as we work out how to handle nappies, feeding, colic, crying and all things newborn, or just to celebrate the joys of a new baby!

Sarry; that sounds lovely (living where you do), but am sure a little claustrophobic at times-especially now. Good luck with the driving lessons! In terms of routine, we only follow what's dictated by the older two girls; ie school runs & having to put them
To bed by 8. We have good days and bad days in terms of stress levels!!! (screaming school runs & my older 2 listening to a story above screaming). Baths are quick & haphazard; maybe 3 times/wk & again fit around the bigger 2. Em never settles before 22.30. In fact, she's v unsettled in the evenings & her feeds are closer together. She certainly doesn't self settle (I wish!!) & is sound asleep when we set her down. She then tends to be up & down frequently with wind. Our nights are getting more disorganised, which is panicking me slightly. Ended up sleeping on the sofa last night: Emily didn't seem to settle for more than 20mins at a time. Still can't stay awake myself to finish a feed & put her down which makes me feel like I'm the problem.
How long do your LO stay on the breast for? Emily now only feeds for approx 9 minutes before she comes off. There is occasionally a 12-18 min feed but only once a day or so.
do offer more & she may go on for 1 or 2 mins but she gets cross at me...She was 10lbs 9 a week ago (at 4.5 wks & was 7.15 at birth). She's bright & very smiley & even 'chatting' to us so she seems to be getting enough. Just curious....think she's an efficient wee feeder?

Thaleia; so sorry you're feeling down. You've had such a rough time though, that it's not surprising you are. Try to be nice to yourself. You're only human & can only do your best; Rapheal needs a healthy happy mum more than anything else & try to keep that in mind. Do speak to your GP soon though if you're still low. It's really important to get help if you need it. Sometimes opening up & talking about it is enough to make you feel better. This is a hard hard time; first babies are a major shock to the system!! Happy Anniversary BTW.
Hayley; you may have internal piles :-(
See your GP & they'll know what it is..good luck!

I'm in the fliss/latris camp. Not doing a bedtime routine for ds2. Mostly have to do bedtime alone for dd & ds1. IMO little babies a too little for CIO etc. Each to their own though. I have found discarding baby books most beneficial & going with what feels right. Each baby is quite different, I've had a sleeper & a not v good sleeper. It has very little to do what you do/don't do in my experience.

Hayley I would go to gp sooner. Could be piles (internally) if so they might give you suppositories or maybe a little fissure.I had internal piles after dd (long labour etc), had a bit of blood in poo around 6wks. He didn't even examine me, just said that's what it would be. Cleared up quickly. Best to get it checked out.

Francesca seems to have put herself in to a routine.bibhave her in her Moses basket for naps during the day but after her feed between 5-8pm I feed her in the bedroom with the curtains shut and then settle her in her Moses basket in the bedroom. She's then pitot the count for 3-5 hours (I wake her after 5 hours) change and feed and then back again for another 3-5 hours and repeat until about 7am ish when I go back to feeding in living room.

It's not always that smooth of course, Sat night she was awake from 2-3.30, just wanting to feed and not go down.

Pressed send too soon..

Hayley I have piles (the joy of post labour) and occasionally get the pains you mention. But I'm also on iron tablets which make me constipated. I can't not take them though, I forgot one last weekend and felt dreadful all day the next day. I drink a glass of prune juice a day and a glass of orange juice a day to keep things, er, soft . Have my 6 week check up next Tuesday so will mention to Dr then

Hi all can I join you all please. Ds2 was born 30th April (same day as ds1 so exactly 4yrs (and 10mins) apart). Are any of you formula feeding (from my quick scan you all seem to be bf) its just I'm not sure if I should up my ds feeds to 5oz. He drains 4oz and is hungry atm after 2.5 hrs. In the night he does go more 3-4 hrs. He was last weighed at 8lb 7oz.

Arh internal piles - gross - but thanks for the replies, will get in touch with GP. My labour wasn't a long one; only 4 hours. I didn't have any pain relief but did push like a maniac at the end through sheer panic, pushed the head & shoulders out in one contraction lol midwife said she had never seen anyone do that so I guess it's not surprising there's some damage!

Gosh I havnt even thought about getting Noah into a routine. He usually goes down about 10/11 with me sometimes In the Moses sometimes on my chest sometimes next to me. I agree with flis don't think it's necessary to leave newborns crying if it can be helped. My HV said babies who aren't left end up being more trusting & independent in the long run. I'm a softy soon as I heard babies think they are still attached to us & get confused when they are separate iv struggled letting him be alone when he doesn't want to be.
Think a routine is only necessary at this early stage if you have other children you need to fit around.

How long are your babies awake after each feed/change during the night?

Hey Hayley....hope you see your GP soon & get sorted. It'll be fine once you've got proper cream whether it's a fissure or piles. My LO feeding mostly 2hrly at night;'put her down at 23.30 last night & thought I might get to 3am but she wakened at 12/3/5 & was awake at 6. She's just fed again so looks like last 2 feeds may have been 3 hours apart...she's sleepy during the night. Asleep most of the time & doesn't cry much unless she has wind/need a nappy changed (which I'm tending to try not to do unless I really have to). I start the night with her going into her pram body, which we bring upstairs around midnight when she conks out & then my aim is to out her back in there. Trouble is, I waken an hour after her feed with her still in bed with me! Not the end of the world, but I'm sore & she's possibly getting too used to sleeping with me??? Also Im a bit anal & whilst I'm much better at going with the flow now (Em is DD3) I like to keep track of things & I can't if I'm asleep. Im also starting to get v v tired & jaded with these 2hrly feeds day & night. With 2 older DC to look after & think about & a DH who thinks doing the morning school run is a major help & the only help he can stretch to as he's so tired (?????) it's taking it's toll... BUT I don't believe in leaving babies to cry so not sure there's s solution. Dd2 fell aslp during the 4am feed up till 9m & she was still wanting to sleep with me till she was 4. Had a hard time sorting that one & would rather avoid again if possible. So: Em stays asleep mostly at night. What about Noah?

Hi kat

I'm FF, my daughter is a month old today, and she takes 5oz and goes 4 hours (longer at night)

She did the drain the bottle/short space between feeds before we upped it too.

Well, my LO only feeds for about 10 minutes at a time usually, and very rarely feeds from both sides. He lasts up to 3 hours in between feeds.

I give formula at night time, as we both tend to fall asleep in about a minute if I BF. I've had a couple of scary episodes where I was BF, and the next thing I knew, I was lying down in bed. Had no memory at all of putting Dylan down in his bed...really freaked me out.

I put him down at about 11pm, he wakes up about 3am, and then again at 7am.

Hi kat - I'd up your LO's feed. Dylan is nearly 9lb (7.13 at birth) now, and gets 5oz, but I'll be upping that to 6oz next week.

I never let Dylan CIO - If he's flat out refusing to go down in his bed, I'll either lie with him on my chest, or carry him in the sling. I've left him to cry for a bit when I really was going mad, and thought I was getting a bit too angry. My mum always said that a baby won't die from crying - if you're feeling angry, put him somewhere safe and walk away.

I'm planning on expressing tmrw. Going to Greenwich park for the day with my parents and thinking that it's a great Romero introduce one bottle a day. Frankie is 4 weeks today and up to a whopping 8.13 from her 6.8 birth weight! My question is how much should I express tmrw? I'm thinking 4/5 oz? Is that enough?

Upped to 5oz and although he only took full 5 once (over space of 1hr) he is much more content, had to wake him after 4hrs (he was very hard to wake).

He was 8lb 7oz on Friday (prob more now) so I would express 5oz just in case holly x

Thanks Kat

She also gone down to 7 feeds a day now too, buy as she's gaining so much weight and her nappies are doing what they need to do I'm not too bothered.

Here's hoping I can express 5oz!!

Welcome Kat and what a lovely coincidence for them both to have their birthday at the same time and day!!
Another cold here for my ds so surely baby will get it too.
Vintage.....we are having green poo too.....maybe I will cut out dairy too.
Bo went from 11 till nearly 3 am last night which was a first and I had my first nap yesterday for 2 hours....got in before my mum suggested she nap and I felt like a new woman after.....disinfected all my floors, cleaned bathroom.....got stuff done.....it is all about the sleep for me.
My ds is taking all my focus....baby gets so little attention it seems.

Pitmountain woohoo for sleep!

We had a breakthrough today as I've hired a sling to try out for 3 weeks & DD fell asleep as soon as she was in it and suddenly having my hands free I could get stuff done. It's a miracle!

She obviously loves it & I'm so relieved to see her so much happier. Only downside is less time to express when she is strapped in there- I hate to disturb her while she is so comfy!

pitmountain maybe green poo is a Californian thing ;)

marsh Emily loves my soft carrier now (screamed the first time I used it) but I need one with better support as I'm not loving it so much now she's getting heavier!

Nancy yes that's the only disadvantage if I do decide to buy one - she prob won't be in it for very long until she gets too big. Might be able to get one second hand I guess, but being able to hire one to try out is a real bonus.

Marsh what kind do you have? I find I cal squeeze a boob out of the side so I can express while DD is sleeping. Not a great look but it works! Soft carriers with a good lumbar support are best for carrying babies as they get bigger; check out the Ergo or Patapum if that's your kind if thing. (Pricey but worth it IMO, I carried DS until he was 2, with no residual back ache!)

LaTris it's called a Larry Lamb. Could possibly squeeze a boob out from all the layers of fabric...if I was naked underneath!

I'm using a Moby Wrap for Emily. She too cried at first but is happy in it now. Have used it around the house a little & gone for a short walk. It's very comfy!

La T; am very impressed that you can feed in your Moby.how old is your LO? Did you watch videos on YouTube or have any other resources?

I don't use a Moby Jelly, I couldn't get on with the tying (lazy). I have a Close Baby, which is kind of a cheats version - same principle but with rings so you don't have to tie so much. I read the instructions for feeding but it took a couple of goes before I was confident DD was in a good position. She's 9 weeks. We feed in lots of positions at home (multitasking with caring for DS) so I don't think she was too fazed...

Meant to add, if there's a sling group near you they can help with correct positioning for feeding etc. Slingmeet.co.uk is a good place to check...

Yes I got my sling from a slingmeet group - they hire out slings for you to trial, so have one for 3 weeks. Can't wait to pop her back in it later....

My baby is 22 days old and we're trying yet another thing. Poor Raphael his little head is probably spinning by now.

An independent MW I met yesterday said, I have enough milk and my neighbours who are there for me at least 5hrs per day agree, therefore I stopped expressing and the formula feeding and are back to only breast.

I have the most stupid question in the work - how does breastfeeding work? I always did it wrong: in the beginning I never took him of the boob so - apparently - it wasn't that I did not have enough milk (I know that he did not put on weight in the first 14 days but he did not lose any either and maybe he really has had a bit of a week suck) but that he used me as a 24hrs snack station and pacifier, than I moved to 30min breast + formula after every feed (btw. 30 - 90ml) and now back to breast.

So my question is: I give him breast and after 30 - 45mins in total on either one or both sides, he's done. I take him off ... and what happens after that? He usually is wide awake and either happy to be carried and hopped around or a bit grizzly and moaning but not full blow crying and - like this morning - might fall asleep again. I started the feed at 6.40 - 07.20am and it's now 9.55am. Is this about right? That they do not fall asleep straight afterwards and want to be carried? And if I hadn't enough milk, wouldn't he cry? Either at the boob or afterwards for hunger?

I'm still so so scared that I'm starving my baby ... does it sound like this? I haven't counted nappies but I know that we have LOTS of wet ones and I'm sure that we have pooy ones as well. I recall 3 the last 24hrs as it came all the way up his back. I'm counting now so will know by tomorrow at this time.

I never thought that I would find this all so hard because of "this". I thought lack of sleep would get me, not the thought that I might harm my baby :-(((.