April 2012 newborns: the insomnia continues...

[LaTristesse]

Hello fellow April mums. Following on from our lovely ante-natal threads, here's the first of the post-natal ones. Join us as we work out how to handle nappies, feeding, colic, crying and all things newborn, or just to celebrate the joys of a new baby!

Oops; posted too soon. He is helping, but needs constant direction/reminding & a big pat on the back for every little thing. He's sleeping in the spare room so getting plenty of sleep yet is always tired (HOW DARE HE COMPLAIN TO ME ABOUT BEING TIRED??!!). Yet on Wednesday I hadn't parked the car far enough into the driveway for his car to fit & he complained about it. And I bawled like a toddler. :-/. I never cry, so he was quite shocked!!!
Had had a shitty day with a v unsettled baby & 2 demanding children & still managed to get everything done. Except park the car properly....
Vicky, my LO TERRIBLY windy. Cries constantly on the breast & refuses to feed. Screams in the evenings & is v vomity. Infacol dodgy help. Now giving Colief but not convinced it's helping. She's now windy during the night too.....sigh.

Hi im trying a routine of same bedtime. she seem to like the last feed at about 10ish so putting her down straight after that, she been waking up at 5-530am, then ,9.15. So strange it was the same time the day before!

For baths been doing to anytime to fit in, about every 2 days at difference times.

Less crying lately with wind, coming off the infalcol. Meeting health Visor Monday and attending a breast feeding support group in the afternoon. Ive been feeding in the laid back aproach, where U lean back with baby on U. This is going well and she seem to get less wind......

Help! Any ideas what to do with a constipated baby? Noah has been straining since 5am, and is really struggling he looks looks like he's in quite a bit of pain & is definitely really uncomfortable. 5 hours is too long to be pushing out a poo - my labour was shorter, I really want to help him but not sure how.
I'm rubbing his tummy which Is giving him a bit of relief but not helping to shift any poos. thinking a warm bath may help.
Anyone got any ideas? And is this normal for babies to be constipated? He's 5 weeks today.

thanks in advanced hope your well xxx

It can be Hayley as their guts are still immature. Is he bf? I used to find with DS that a little bit of warm water would help in a syringe (by mouth!) - boil some water and let it cool down. Other people swear by diluted orange juice or diluted prune juice but they seemed a bit aggressive to me. A warm bath can't hurt either. A GP or HV probably won't do anything until its been a few days, but is horrid to see them struggle with it. Hope he shifts it soon, you'll probably get a massive poo explosion as it passes!

The other thing I've heard can help is a warm bath. Suppose it makes sense, same soothing effect as in labour!

Followed by another bath to wash off the resulting poo perhaps?

Also Holly congratulations Dylan is a lovely name. DH really wanted to use it but our LO just didnt look like one. hope your both ok.

Buns how you doing today? My DP was an ass to me this week as well - then had the cheek to tell me I was being over sensitive because of my hormones - my response was no your just a prick I don't think they have any idea!
Hope you have a better day today xxx

Thank you laTris & Flis I gave him some boiled water and it did the trick had a total explosion of yellow poop all up his back lol. He then fell straight to sleep which is what I'm going to try and do now

Result, well done Hayley! Welcome Sarry btw, glad your little chap is doing well, that must have been a scary old time of it!

Also started a bedtime routine here - mainly because we've already got one with ds1 and evening tv has been rubbish lately that I might as well feed in the bedroom then put ds2 in the cot rather than Moses basket. It seems to be working - ds2 has dropped the 11pm feed and is going from 9-1 (last night was 9-3!!) which means if I'm shattered I know when I can grab a good 4 hour chunk.
Ds1 was such an awful sleeper (still is) I have very low expectations.

Hi there, I'm back ... infrequent posts due to no very full hands.

Mixed bag of news: on Friday, we started to feed formula as he was screaming and not settling and after another 6h feed shift I could not do it any more. Cried, cried, cried and sent a self-loathing e-mail to my BF councillor whom I exchanged e-mails and phone calls before and she said: drop bfeading for a while get a rest and you will sort it out when you are not so tired, stressed out and start to think clearly again. She also gave me advise on how to pump.

Since then, I'm up from pumping 20ml to around 50ml (only for the last 2 sessions today, so hopefully, I'm not going to jinx it by saying it here now).

The BFC, my neighbours - who look after me and where I can go when I lose the plot and cry my heart out - and my DH (now and then) thinks I might be depressed. Hell, I think, I might be depressed, so I'm watching myself like a hawk. But how do you know? Do I think that DH is doing a better job with the baby? Yes, because he's able to settle him. Do I think I'm a crap mum because of the feeding? Yes, but I hope I can fix it and at least I'm not starving Raphael any more and am fine with formula. So I think, I'm just really really exhausted and need all the help I can get whilst my flat and laundry goes down the drain.

He got weight again at the clinic today and is now above birth weight at 4060gr up from 3860gr on Tuesday, so they said I don't need to see them any more and he's now a strong boy and so on. Surprised that 200gr makes all the difference.

Haven't figured out bottle feeding, just don't know how much to give him. I breastfeed first, than give what I've pumped (40ml last session) and baby R is still drinking 60ml of formula, probably more if we would offer. Question is: shall we offer more? MW at the health centre said, he could drink 80-90ml as a top up but isn't that excessive?

Also, Raphael is not falling asleep after a feed, quite the opposite, for him it's wakywaky look around + I want to be entertained time for at least an hour. He's not crying, he's not windy, he's not grizzly, during that time, he's the most happy baby in the world. Which is fine but bleeds me out at 4am. However, the MW said, I should be grateful to have such an alert baby and some of them are just like that and not to worry. I asked if he gets enough sleep as I don't think we hit the 16hrs and she said yes, he'll sleep as much as he wants and needs and if it's less, it's less. Also, what I've learnt is that you count the time between feeds AFTER you finished feeding the baby, which makes totally sense in my case as I breastfeed first for 40mins and the bottles take another 40mins so my 3hrs start then. My next feed will be at 5.30pm today.

Today is our 7th wedding anniversary and for the first time, we won't manage to go out for lunch or dinner. I said to DH if we manage to go for a walk the first time, that'll be lovely but not sure if it's going to be too late and miserable at 7pm when we're done with the baby. Makes me a bit sad.

I'm afraid that I can't keep it up when DH is back at work on Monday as it's such great help that I can pump when he's settling DS, but I'll cross the bridge tomorrow. Today, I'm going to sleep now and try not to worry about the future (= next 15hrs).

jelly - I'd love to meet up for a coffee with someone, but I live on a sporting estate in the middle of the highlands. Closet mate is 10 minutes away by car (I don't drive, but I'm having my first lesson in a week!) - and nearest village is 15 minutes away by car. So I have to make my own entertainment. Things will be so much easier when I can drive!

Thaleia - Happy anniversary! Does it say on the back of your formula tin how much to give by weight. I'm pretty sure it says it on my SMA tin. I do mixed feeding - BF all day, then formula at night. Dylan is 4 weeks old, weighs about 8lb 10oz, and gets 5oz in one go, which is enough to satisfy him without any puking.

I'd go with a warm bath and a good tummy and back massage for a constipated baby.
We've got a little bed-time routine for Dylan. I rotate between a bath by himself, top/tail and sharing a bath with him. Which I really recommend! Sharing a bath is lovely :)

Thaleia don't want to offer advice as I'm no expert, but just to corroborate, yes we are giving typically 60-80ml formula as a top up feed. I suspect that's quite a lot, based on being told 80-90ml is a full formula feed in its own right...it seems a bit excessive for a top up.

I'm now able to pump 40-50ml in a single session where I was only getting 20ml before so really hope I can drop the formula volumes as my milk increases.

Definitely keep talking to your BFC and going to the drop-ins...I am going to do the same!

marsh our children could be twins! I'm exactly the same ... we top up with 60-80ml apart from now when we gave out of pure desperation 120ml. I also was only able to express 20ml and am now up to around 50ml.

I just don't know how to get away from the formula if they clearly need so much of it!

I like formula, it makes the night feeds so much easier. I'll stick to BF during the day, but using formula at night is so handy for me, as the LO is a bit difficult to latch on quickly and easily - he tends to wake up fully, and then it's a real fight getting him back to sleep.
A ready-made bottle means that I can have it by the bed, and just stick in his mouth when he wakes.

Anyone actually done a successful dreamfeed?

Hiya iv got my 6 week check up on the 29th but wondering if I should make an earlier appointment. For the last 2 weeks everytime I go to the toilet (poo) I end up in agony afterwards. have really sharp pains in my bottom for a good few hours . Also today iv felt really sore and tight not sure if it's where my stitches were or at the top of my bottom. Baby is 5 weeks and I only had 2 stitches on the outside and a graze, havnt had any problems until now. I havnt had sex yet so can't have damaged myself that way. I had a look in the mirror and can't see anything obvious but am really sore and uncomfortable today - any ideas what's going on with me?
God though the TMI posts were just for pregnancy - guess not lol

Xx

Hi, what do your babies do in terms of settling themselves at night?dd is great overnight although still wakes regularly but will fall asleep quickly while feeding. The main problem is putting him to bed at 7pm as he won't go down awake in his crib. I end up getting him to sleep in the sling and then moving him to crib once asleep. He then sleeps till 10ish.

I try putting him down at 7 in his crib but wakes up after feed and won't settle himself. Shall I preservere and let him cry for 5 mins and see if he will settle and then pat him etc? He is 5 weeks.

Hard to know as have dd 6 who I need to get to bed too. Ds won't just lie happily while I put her to bed so would have to let him cry if don't wait for oh to get home before doing bed. It seems cruel but dd had some awful sleep associations and would t settle herself until she was about 4 and don't want to go down that road again. He is bottle fed if that makes a difference.

Could do with some advice and comparisons about what your babies are doing.

karen - my LO is quite good at settling himself. I have to keep a very sharp eye out for sleepy cues though!

He has a feed at about 5.30pm, a wash/bath and a chillout with his dad, another feed at 6.30pm, then I watch like a hawk for signs of tiredness, which I picked up from the Baby Whisperer.

He'll start yawning - Once he's yawned three times, I take him to his room, swaddle him, walk him round the room talking quietly, shutting the curtains, turning off the lights etc, rocking him gently. Once he's chilled, I put him in his pram, put a blanket over his legs, kiss him and say goodnight. Sometimes I put on his little lullaby toy and/or give him a dummy if he is still whimpering a little bit.

I then sit next to his bed for about 5 minutes - LO has got mad arms that wake him up - if his arms suddenly move, I'll put my hand over them and hold them down quite tight. I try to remove his dummy before he fully drops off.

LO is four weeks old, I'm following a basic Contented Little Baby routine. It works really well for us.

Remember that your baby is only 5 weeks old - so you can actually put him to bed a little later than 7pm. In fact I'd probably put him to bed at 8pm.

Also trying to follow clb but does not always work. The thing is that heis tired but won't give in . I just don't know whether to leave him to cry for a bit.

DS doesn't settle himself (5wo). DD didn't until she was 14mo.

IMO I don't think such small babies should be left to cry unless it's necessary (you're on the loo, you're putting another child to bed) so at night if DS cries, I pick him up. I think shush pat or leaving him to cry (even
for 5 minutes) is something to leave until later.

At this age they don't understand being a separate entity, they're still part of you. The Moses basket is quiet, cold and not Mummy! We're mammals and instinct tells your baby to be close to you. Worry about sleep associations and habits later on if you need to, but personally I think routine and the like for little babies are unnecessary.

I agree with you but just don't know go to get dd to bed at 7ish and deal with ds who will cry if I put him down at that time of day. I have dh at home in time at moment but if I don't is it better to settle ds in cot as if to sleep and leave to cry or leave to cry on play mat etc. that time of day is so hard!!!

I have the same issue at bedtime - DS cries if put down, and 2yo DD needing to be put to bed, DH not here 1 bedtime a week.

I put DS in the sling to put DD to bed. No
bath on these nights. If I put him down he'll cry, I'll get flustered and DD gets concerned and a crappy rushed bedtime. If he cries in the sling I can soothe him, panic less and DD gets a decent bedtime story and it's all much calmer

And we don't have bedtime at all for DS - he goes up with us at 11. A 7pm bedtime will probably happen naturally at about 6 months.

Your arrangements pretty much mirror ours Fliss, except DH doesn't get back in time for bed, so DD gets to kick about on her playmat on the landing while DS is in the bath. We also use the sling after that. I seriously don't know what I'd do without one!

thaleia sorry to hear you think you may have pnd. The earlier you recognise it the better for both you and little R once you get a plan for managing it. You may surprise yourself just how well you cope when dh goes back to work once you get a little routine in place. Try and find local mother & baby groups to get to. Invest in a rain mac & wells so you can go for a walk even in the rain. But don't be afraid to just mooch about at home babymooning with R.

Hayley go see your gp - it's possibly nothing to worry about but if you have a fissure then they can give you some meds to help it heal.

Re: routine or not at this stage - I think whatever works for you and your baby. We didn't bother starting one with Ds1 till he was 9 weeks - and that was disastrous to say the least. At 4 months we were still running up and down the stairs all evening trying to settle him. We should have been a lot more laid back.
However, with ds2 - I decided to go to bed early one evening 9-ish when he was about 4 weeks and left him downstairs with dh and my mum expecting someone to bring him up at 11pm. He came up with a late working dh at 1.30am. Was so surprised I thought we'd see whether he'd sleep in the cot during that time last week and miraculously he did. Wouldn't have persevered if he didn't, but it's been no effort (ie nothing down to parenting skills and everything to do with ds2's own body clock). Most likely won't last and he'll be demanding an 11pm feed again - but if not then we've been incredibly blessed with an easier sleeper this time round.

I'm not a massive GF fan, mainly because my ds1 was impossible to get into a routine so all these baby books just made me feel inadequate. However I can see how they might help some parents for those whose babies seem to respond well to routine. I have a friend who is a very schedule-driven person and her baby was v happy to be told when it was time to nap, eat, play etc. I found it very at odds with my own experience but he seemed v happy.

I'm very interested to see how ds2 turns out - in some ways he'll be led by ds1's pre-school pick up routine, but we're not always putting him to bed at the same time as ds1 as his bedtime varies on how active his day has been.

I should be sleeping as Emily is asleep and it's only 7.30am and I could do with more shut-eye but thought I'd pop by here to catch up.

Still having green poos - spoke to E's doctor and she wasn't concerned. But I've decided to cut dairy for 2 weeks to see of it makes a difference. Might try expressing an ounce before feeding her too to see if it is a foremilk/hindmilk issue after all. I hate seeing the green poo even though no one seems concerned.

No routine here yet. Some nights I go to bed at 10 (E often cluster feeds in evenings but tends to stop by 10) and DH brings her to bed later. Some nights she sleeps until 5, others she's awake at 1.30am. During the day I've started making sure she has plenty of nappy-free time and we play and chat (bit one-sided) while she's on the mat. I can see we'll fall into a routine eventually but it all works as it is at the moment. We've had constant house guests since she was born (last one leaves on weds) so that hasn't been the best circumstances for a routine either.