April 2012 newborns: the insomnia continues...

[LaTristesse]

Hello fellow April mums. Following on from our lovely ante-natal threads, here's the first of the post-natal ones. Join us as we work out how to handle nappies, feeding, colic, crying and all things newborn, or just to celebrate the joys of a new baby!

Glad but sad that you are (nearly) all suffering with groaning knees etc as well IKWIM. LaTris, good idea to see your osteo, I went to one in desperation shortly before getting pregnant, but assumed it would be too soon for me to go back. I hadn't thought that the relaxin would help with it, will try and find time to see one. Thanks to whoever mentioned pelvic floor exercises as well, have done bugger all of those.

Went to see a specialist bfing hv today who was absolutely lovely. An individual appointment that lasted a whole hour, really helpful and supportive and didn't talk down to me once! Gave me a few tweaks and hopefully things will start improving soon.

Thaleia any news on Raphael? Thinking of you - hope you had good news.

is it good evening or good night already?

We fed Raphael formula on Sunday and Monday just because I was so scared that I let my baby starve and what they would do to me if I fail, e.g. take him away ... ? By Tuesday I actually came round and thought wtf (excuse my language). He put weight on, 80gr, and I hope this wasn't down to formula alone but also because I shortened the times in between feeds. Yesterday and today we did not give him any top ups. Problem is, although he was fine and happy and sleepy all day, I've got him attached to my boobs since 9pm, it's not 00.30am and he is still crying his little hard out and sucking so hard that it leaves marks on his face. I don't mind cluster feeding, however, not sure if I have enough and that's the reason? Of course I am worried about my supply and the quality of it, as I find it hard to eat and sleep regularly, daytime is fine and he is done with a feed sometimes between 40 - 75mins. Which is too long, I know. 20 -30mins feed are the exception.

I don't know what to do, give him formula? Maybe we've given him the wrong stuff, I just don't know anymore? how can I be all right during daylight and so crap at night with my milk? I would not mind at all if I knew he put on weight just by me feeding him. I could go to weigh him tomorrow but will one day tell me anything?

I feel so sorry for my baby.

PS: the formula made him constipated, there was no poo on Monday and Tuesday which was worrying. Now it's out of the system and we are back to normal.

me again, not so bright and early: I had him on the breast for 5.5hrs tonight before I dumped him on DH who than co-slept with him till I just woke him for his early b'fast feed. he's now looking after him whilst I pump and I hope he'll manage to settle him.

Thalia
Sorry you are having a tough time. Excuse me as I have not read the whole thread but can you pump and feed him from the bottle to reassure yourself he is getting plenty. My baby was not gaining weight at the 1 ounce a day they like.
I totally trusted that as she was feeding regularly she would gain in her own time. Sure enough at 6 weeks she is now over ten pounds and my mum keeps saying I am feeding her too much....as in more than every 4 hours .....and she will have a weight problem. Nod agree ignore and I carry on feeding on demand.
Follow your instincts but if he is distressed maybe some mixed feeding and keep pumping to keep your supply up. Even if you just dispose of the milk. Try mothers milk tea and porridge for breakfast to up your supply.
It will get better but I know it is awful....you are oing a great job.

Thaleia seems like we have the same baby but in reverse...mine won't sleep during the day (unless I take her out in the buggy) and is either feeding or crying to be fed all day long....but goes to sleep at 10.30 like an angel!

Yesterday I was waiting in for the MW - given a time window of 10-5, she came at 4, so we couldn't go out at all. She cried and grizzled all day when I wasn't feeding, wouldn't have a nap, and I stared resentfully out at the sunshine I couldn't go into!

However I think of your epic 5 hr night time feeds & I don't envy that!

Do you have BF clinics/cafes you can get to locally? I am going back to mine today just to check in with them & see how they think DD is doing. Am sure they would be able to reassure you about baby's weight, etc.

Thaleia - it's completely normal for your supply to be lower in the evenings. That's when our energy levels are lowest. It's even more important to let your baby feed at that time as it will get your supply up.

You're right, there is absolutely no point in getting him weighed today. Leave it at least a week. Preferably two. Is he weeing and pooing? If so, he is neither starving nor dehydrated. I understand why you keep wanting to top up with formula but this will only prolong your problem because it undermines your supply.

Your baby is far more efficient at extracting milk from your breasts than a pump is, so feeding him expressed milk isn't really the answer either. You need to trust your body to reestablish the bf rhythm with your baby and trust your instincts as to how well your baby is. Plenty of skin to skin, try to rest as much as possible, eat and drink well etc.

Do start a thread in Breast and bottle section - there are posters on there who are extremely knowledgable, especially tiktok who is a bf counsellor in RL.

Also Thaleia, have a 'babymoon' ... This is basically a day when you plan to stay in bed all day with your baby. Both of you should wear as little as possible (to promote skin to skin contact). Make sure you have plenty of your favourite foods with you (as fatty and creamy as you like) and a couple of magazines / books / DVDs. Cuddle up with your baby all day. Feed him every time he squeaks. Sleep and eat. Enjoy it. This is a great way to get your supply up and give yourself a rest.

Finally mastered handsfree bf in a sling yesterday at the park. DS likes to stay on the swings for hours (no exaggeration!) so I was able to push h

...him while DD fed. Lovely!

Thaleia Well done for continuing to stick at it

I second everything bushy says there. These mammoth night feeding sessions will be short lived - once your supply is back
up they should settle. It sounds very much like your night was like the first couple of nights with DS. Night time is the peak time for your milk making hormones (despite the lower milk levels).

Not having enough milk is rare, trust in yourself. With DD the HV put the fear of God into me by saying she lost too much weight in the first few days and if she didn't regain in 3 more days then we'd be 'invited' back to stay in the maternity unit for monitoring, making it sound as if they were accusing me of starving her and needing to be watched so we started giving a formula top up at night - and that really buggered my supply up and after 7 weeks of struggling I gave up BF. Looking back, I should have trusted myself to be able to feed her, and allow my supply to build instead of panicking about a line on a chart.

Hello lovely ladies, may I poke my head in?

I am a member of the June 2012 bus, but my little boy couldn't wait and arrived on 25 April (31+5 weeks).

DS was 3 weeks old yesterday, but has only been home since last Friday. He is feeding well, but gets very windy, and is terrible at settling at night. He is going from strength to strength, but I am finding things a bit tough , mainly as a result of a very stressful 3 weeks leading up to his birth, followed by two weeks of him on the special care baby unit.

He is likely to be more in line with my fellow June ladies' LOs in terms of development, but it would be nice to be able to share tales of feeding / sleeping (or not!) etc with others going through it at the moment!

Congratulations on your little boy tea.
It is one of the biggest shocks bringing a baby home and you have had the shock of a baby comi g much earlier so go easy on yourself andwelcome to the thread

Congratulations tea. You must have been through the mill - but glad to hear your little boy is no longer in SCBU. Sleepless nights and feeding issues seem to be main issues of the day here, so settle in!

Feeling rather lucky that the last few nights ds2 has done 1:30, 3:45 and 7. Is that technically only 2 night feeds even though I attempted to gp back to sleep after the 7am feed? Whenever he wakes I try changing his position to see if that gets him back to sleep before feeding. Has worked a couple of times.

I'm just loving this phase - they're so cute and squidgy still. I know the nights are hard work - but ds2 is pretty easy to please compared to ds1. I expect once he's awake more it'll be harder to get things done and entertain him at the same time. Hopefully the sling will help, plus ds1 can amuse him while I'm attempting to make dinner (or am I kidding myself?). Sure I was bored stiff of sitting on the sofa breastfeeding last time round - but it doesnt feel so relentless this time, perhaps because I've got ds1's school pick up to break the day up and force me out the house everyday.

Ds2 turns 6 weeks on Monday - wonder what new routine/development he'll have in store for us!

Hi, urgent one ... little one did not do any poo today (only 2 or 3 wet "farts", lots of wees though. He was attached to my boob again for 4hrs again. So makes me wonder if he's a) constipated - but from what, the formula should be out and b) if it's dangerous.

Is this and A&E cause or shall we call someone or sit it out?

I'm sure missing a day of poo is fine. DD didn't poo for more than 24 hrs when we'd first begun giving her formula & DH began to get worried - but when it came, there was plenty of it, believe me!

A BF baby can go up to 14 days without pooing. As long as there are wet nappies or other signs of illness, don't worry!

Expect a poo explosion when it does come out though!

Thaleia - ds2 has been going every 36 hours the last few days. I remember ds1 once went 9 days without pooing. Didn't seem remotely troubled by it. Definitely nothing to worry about.

Days without poos are quite normal in bf babies. I remember my dd1 going through a phase of pooping once a week. It's because bm is so good for them and they only take exactly as much as they need. Doesn't leave much waste.

It is true that it is ok for babies closer to the 6wk mark to poo v infrequently, however, it could indicate a problem in a younger baby. Not saying there is a problem but it shouldn't be dismissed so easily in a baby who is a few weeks old.

Thaleia are you able to see a breastfeeding councillor in real life. I think it would really benefit you to talk through your concerns & get them to check babies latch. You are obviously doing a great job but sometimes rl support is helpful. Or maybe consider starting a thread in breast/bottle feeding (under feed the world topic). Tiktok is a bf councillor in rl & often answers posts there.

Congratulations & welcome tea. What a stressful time it must have been for you. So glad you are home with your baby now.

My ds2 is going still in the must be held stage so I'm using the sling for most of the day to get anything done. He is also very fractious from about 5pm- 11pm. Feeding, straining, crying then start over again.... Exhausting but my other 2 were just the same. Improved around the 12 wk mark which seems a long way off now!

YY to being fractious around tea time! Bill is unsettled from about 6-10 most nights, with a tight little tummy. Poor boy. He's playing happily in his cot at the moment, though. Daytime is so much easier! (which is good because last night he had an uncharacteristically bad night...almost as though he knew DH had to get up particularly early today!)

Still, 2 nappy explosions today and he seems much happier & more settled.

Quick question - when you get a nappy explosion of such great proportions that it goes all over his clothes, do you need to do anything in particularly to get the fetching poostains out of the babygro? Or should they come out in a normal wash anyway? Don't want to put it on to wash if there is something clever I should do first!

Tea the only things I've found to help are bleach for whites, or an immediate wash with bio powder and lots of hope for colours!

DS exploded yesterday - his vest, socks, jeans, blanket, my dress and leggings, DD's jeans (I don't know how), a cushion cover AND the arm of the sofa were affected.