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November 05 Babies

660 replies

Rodeo · 03/02/2006 12:05

A new thread for us and our little 2, 3 and very nearly 4 month olds, where is the time going??!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BEKsmum · 17/02/2006 22:45

Sorry girls just a quick one from me as dh waiting to get on the pc.

Busy hope you all feel better soon & I hope you get some rest this weekend. We've had three weeks of sickness now and it's a nightmare isn't it!

Beartime, hope you told them in as christian a way as possible to bugger off on that other thread, providing a good home for your husband/partner and kids is a good thing no matter what your religion or whether your a sahm or a working mum. I'm non religous by the way, would have used the proper word but can't spell it

Right best go as dh is lurking, have a good weekend all BEKs

beartime · 17/02/2006 23:05

ChaCha - first incident of being peeeed on???? Lucky you!! No I haven't read that book. It is interesting how we can share similarities like that - my best friend at school was a strong buddhist - we got on so well cos we had the same moral values!

L&Smum actually I got pregnant this time by natural family planning - I had been doing it as a contraceptive cos the pill disagreed with me and we only had a week between when we decided we wanted a baby and DH going on chemo which meant we had to be quick. So used the charts with temperature etc. to figure out when to do it and got pg in 2 trys!!! I;'m wondering if I can start the temperature thing even now to give me a heads up on when I ovulate first? Thanks for your help!

Diege - thanks for telling me in detail - thats what I needed to know - I will try tomorrow!

Beks - you made me laugh!

LaylaandSethsmum · 17/02/2006 23:33

Beartime you could do the temp readings but you would really need to do 2 cycles beacause as you know you need that consistently raised temp and then a definate drop bak down to indicate you ovulated and you can only do that retrospectively but it could be worth a shot i guess ( personally think your mad for wanting to try again already I couldn't cope with 2 so close together!!!)

goldenoldie · 18/02/2006 00:33

Beartime - I'm happy for other to have views that are different from mine as long as they don't impose those views on me - or suggest that my views/opinions/behaviours are somehow inferior. I am not a SAHM, but am very happy for each and every woman to do what is best for them and their family.

Re: night-time routine. If they cry I go back in 10 min intervals. I don't pick-up, I pat/sush to calm them down and go back out. 9 times out of 10 they are asleep within 4/5 minutes.

Layla - It is half term here this week...............

Diege · 18/02/2006 09:34

Hi everyone! half-term next week here too L&Smum, but dd1 will be in holiday club for 3 days, and at home two days, so quite manageable I think!. DH is taking THursday off to take her out for the day, and she's off on a Wednesday with her sisters (that will be the tough one!). Sympathise about 3 year olds; there are several times when I've been reduced to sobbing too, and felt dire. It's a tough time, but it does get better as I have a 4 year old too to compare with . LOts of deep breaths, counting to ten, thrown in with a bit of super nanny and a lot of perspective!(oh, and lots of nursery too !!)
Having said that, will be tested to today as taking all 3 to theme park (Gullivers world) as they have a special half term offer on. They are so excited though...
Well, will catch up later if I survive!
Diege

novadandypowder · 18/02/2006 12:28

had a quick skim read..
Beartime - Not in a religous sense, but I agree with the theory behind what you said about women being there for their partners and children.
Chacha - our childminder is spanish so DH is hoping Nat will pick up this as a second language.

Natalie had a second night of 7 - 7 with no waking for feeds!!! She's down to only 4 feeds a day now

Rodeo · 18/02/2006 13:20

Hi all,

just a quickie here too. Really missing dp and he's only been gone 2 days!! Everything is taking twice as long/twice the effort etc. I'm feeling really tired, mum's coming round later though wo will get her to entertain Jess, she seems to need constant attention at the moment! Just put her up for a nap so really should be sorting washing....

Oooh an offer on at Gullivers World Diege? We have Gullivers Kingdom in Matlock Bath, wonder if offer's on there too? Sound's like a good idea for a treat! We went last year with Joe's playgroup and he loved it!

Joe's supposed to be going to a party later this afternoon but the family holding the party are chain-smokers so after initially saying 'Yes, he can go' I've had 2nd thoughs and sent a message to say he's ill but that I will drop the Birthday Girl's pressie off later. Is that awful of me? Being a bit over-protective I think! Although he can be a bit shy and I'm not sure if he'd like to be left for that long (2pm-4.30)

I'd love to learn Spanish and children pick it up really quickly, you just have to listen to Joe after an episode of Dora Delicioso!

Have lovely weekends all! Enjoy the sunshine, it's all set to change for the worse this week!!

OP posts:
goldenoldie · 18/02/2006 14:38

Well done Nova.

The twins continue to go through the night too. Only one wakes for a feed at 11ish, but I always wake the other one and give them both a feed.

beartime · 18/02/2006 19:26

OK L&S but am I right in thinking I could only ovulate one time b4 my period started again?

Golden - I always think you are old cos of your name, or does it not really mean that??! That was helpful about the routine - mine doesn't seem to respond to patting and shushing too much though - do you pat them on their chest? And you and Diege - do you do the no eye contact thing - I find that really hard when he's looking at me and crying! And d;you wait till they're calm b4 going out? Sorry to be so questioning - its just my first time and I'm still learning

Nova - congrats on Nat going so long.

Rodeo - I don't think you're being overprotective (but then DH says I have the tendency to be overprotective!)

Thank you everyone all the advice by the way, you've no idea how much help I've got from this thread, esp. being a first time mum and not having ever been around babies before!

Oh, I found a good way to keep Caleb on his tummy for longer - by propping a mirror in front of him! Though he's still only good for about 5 mins, but before it was 1 min!

goldenoldie · 18/02/2006 19:44

Beartime - yes - I'm well over the hill/past it!

Re: night-time routine. I avoid eye contact, very difficult. No, I don't wait till they are calm before going out - just going in can make them worse sometimes, so I just pat/sush a dozen or so times and go out again. To be honest, if I stayed any longer I would prob. pick them up.

I don't suggest you follow me. You should do what feels right for you. Don't forget that all this routine stuff will go out of the window as soon as they start teething/feel unwell/have growth spurt and so on. And I'm terrible at getting them to nap consistently during the day.

You are very good with tummy time. I don't bother with it - the twins hate it at this stage, as did my DS1.

beartime · 18/02/2006 19:55

Golden - thanks. I was trying to do all this b4, but not succeeding too well and kept ending up picking him up by which time the only solution left was to rock him to sleep! So it helps to know what you do, as I do not want to rock him to sleep, and I figured if I had twins I wouldn't be able to, so why not do the same now

My HV was the one who pushed me to do tummy time.

Anyone know when men stop being fertile/non-impotent? DH now 43!

Karmamother · 18/02/2006 21:18

Hi all,

Tex111, just showed my DS your pic in the magazine & he was well impressed!

beartime, its funny that you're asking about becoming fertile again as I've just got my first period & I'm 100% breastfeeding. TBH I'm a bit surprised (& annoyed) as I didn't have a single period last time whilst BFing for 17 months, even when it was only a bedtime feed. I've read on a thread here that your weight (& bodyfat) might be a factor. Last time I was VERY underweight due to IBS & PND, whereas now I'm eating like an ox & you can tell. I think the "trigger" for my first cycle must have been when she started doing a 6-8 hr stint at night. You may find your cycle returns soon. Good luck!

Tessasmum, interested to hear you did baby signs. I've bought a book & will be looking at classes when she's older. How long did it take for her to start using them?

Rodeo, I'd be the same about the party. I'd do anything to protect my children from passive smoke. Both my parents smoked & we had to sit in a room/car full of smoke & we hated it. God knows what damage it's done to us. Sounds like the right idea to just drop the present off.

Good luck to everyone who has lots of kids to look after this week. Thank god for the children's channels on Sky, I say.

Well, Ella had her 2nd jabs yesterday & I also drove up to Newcastle & popped into work so she had a bit of a crap day, (bad mummy!) Mind you, she was a little star & fed really nicely (ie. with no thrashing about) in Starbucks. It was my first public BFing & it was lovely to do it with a cappucino to drink. I had ds & the pram placed strategically to block the view of my norks.
She's been a bit out of sorts today too, quite clingy & poor at going off to sleep. Hope it settles & she doesn't "get used to" sleeping on me, IYKWIM.
Wonder if my milk tastes different now that AF has arrived. I think I read this on a thread. I also wonder if BFing during my period will speed it up as it does with afterpains & helping the lochia on its way? Also, I wonder if my cycle will be sporadic as the BFing is still pretty full on. Anyone got any experience of this?

Also finally, just discovered DS has a small verruca. Without telling him what it was, I put some magic liquid (breast milk) on it & covered it with a plaster. I shall keep you posted!! (I managed to pursuade DP to let me put some on his wart on his hand but he only let me do it once, hes a bit funny with it. Keep meaning to put some in his tea.)

LaylaandSethsmum · 18/02/2006 21:19

Yes Beartime you will only ovulate once and then go on to have a period. Men are fertile throughout their lives ( although sperm production can reduce with age!!)

goldenoldie · 18/02/2006 22:00

and sperm quality can reduce with age too education.guardian.co.uk/higher/news/story/0,,1607408,00.html.

Diege · 18/02/2006 22:35

Evening! Well, shattered from Gulliver's world; dd2 had two tantrums, but overall a good time was had by all. Older dds thought it very odd that Libby wasn't allowed on rides(muumy that's not fair!!), and have become very protective when strangers even glance in the pram .
RODEO: I am so with you on the smoking thing, and think you absolutely did the right thing; I am a bit of an anti-smoking fascist though! (great news about next years ban!!). BTW, really shocked that Bonnie was in skate-off!! ...have 'turned' against Kelly too, so pleased she has gone..
BEARTIME: ditto Golden about no eye contact. I also leave the room before she settles, and seems to do the trick. I also second Golden about abandoning the routine when they are sick/teething etc; the important thing is to get back into it when they are better (when it can all turn pearshaped!).
NOVA: congrats on Nat sleeping through - do you feel a new woman? We're on 4 day time feeds too, though I still wake her 11 for top-up, and will do as long as she seems hungry for it. No hardship though as this is when I go to sleep anyway . BTW, I think Spanish would be a brill 2nd language - one of the easiest apparently too (not that I would know!).
KARMA: LOL about your 'norks', sniggered loudly when I read your post, but couldn't bring myself to tell DH what was so funny . Be interested to hear how the breast milk does on verucca.
Right, going up for the 11pm!
Night night,
Diege.

JenJam · 18/02/2006 22:59

Hi golden, how are you? i owe you a phone call don't I? I got back from DP's parents' on Wednesday, then have been scrabbling around in shops trying to find a cheapish wedding outfit (still too much overhang for normal clothes...so trying to find something not too expensive so i don't feel bad if i don't wear it again....unless BoB you could make me a dress by wednesday,and put a little extra in the waist - fab that you are making clothes)

I'm away again for a few days next week - off to the wedding in herefordshire, but how bout if we hook up for a coffee the week after next in dalston? fancy the flicks or is this too much effort alone with the twins?

cha cha - aaah i know exactly what you mean re: swimming in love. i always jump to comfort finn (much to james's annoyance - oh dear) james mentioned the film psycho this morning.

Hellow everyone else! haven't read all the posts (again) slapped hand. so hope there isn't anything bad happening

I read the steve biddulph comments in paper about leaving under 3s in childcare and now my head is spinning. I thought a quality nursery would do a young child alot of good and now I'm seriously concerned that i might harm my child if i go back to work before he is more emotionally developed. what do the rest of you think about the article (am i opening a can of worms by starting this discussion?) would be really interested to know what you think?
reswww.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-2036862,00.htmlt

chocolate dessert has just been handed to me. must go as salivating just typing this
bye xx
Golden will call you tomorrow. nova, lilj anyone else do you fancy joining? btw have you had the london meet up twinkle, diege?
Jen

beartime · 19/02/2006 07:52

JenJam, there's a more in depth article here

goldenoldie · 19/02/2006 09:03

JenJam - love to meet up again and try cinema if you like. Will check what's on.

Re: Daycare. I think much depends on the child and the family.

The ratio of chilcare workers is 1:3 in nursery baby rooms. Well, the ratio is 1:2 at home for the twins anyway! and for those of you with toddlers I suspect.

With regards to the research on behavioural problems later in life, I suspect that these have a socio-economic grading and are not evenly distributed amongst children that spent time in nursery, i.e. kids from poorer homes will have worse outcomes, suggesting that behavioural outcomes have more to do with family income than how much time kids spend at nursery.

This advantage starts very young and continues all through life, and even at the point of death with better life expectancy for those from financially comfortable homes.

See reading skills - 'A five-year-old whose parents earn more than £67,500 has reading skills six months more advanced than one whose parents are jobless, a Government-funded study revealed. The gap occurs irrespective of natural ability, parents' education or how often mothers and fathers read to their child'.
k1.ioe.ac.uk/schools/ecpe/eppe/index.htm
(Observer, 6 February 2005)

And the same study that has created all the anxiety by suggests that nursery can create aggressive behaviour - Effective Provision of Pre-school Education (EPPE) project, also suggests the effect of increased anti-social behaviour appeared to DECREASE in three-year-olds who continued attending high-quality daycare settings.

The same study also found children with high levels of group care before the age of three showed BETTER cognitive attainment and highlighted the positive impact preschool learning had on children. (Children Now, 27 July 2004).

And increased social skills/popularity which continued into secondary school www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=5143&in_page_id=1879

Other researchers have found that daycare is just as good as being at home. 'Children cared for by childminders or nursery assistants fare as well as those brought up at home by their mothers, according to researchers from Bristol University. By the age of three, they found, toddlers are as active and happy in either setting.

However, these findings contradict a series of studies which suggest children whose mothers go out to work are more likely to struggle at school. The findings were dismissed by some academics who questioned its methods.

The Bristol researchers studied the development of children up to the age of three years and two months as part of the Children of the 90s study of 14,000 youngsters'.(Daily Mail, 13 May 2003).

So, there is just as much research for as against nursery settings..........................

goldenoldie · 19/02/2006 09:09

JenJam - It is 'Good Night, Good Luck' on Tue and Thurs.

Diege · 19/02/2006 09:29

Morning everyone! I also read article in Guardian yesterday, and the tone was certainly one to induce guilt in those who use childcare (think this was deliberate 'red rag to a bull' tactics here - wait till next week's letter page!). Now I am no expert, but I do teach some of this stuff to early years and family studies' students at university, and the general conclusion I've found from looking at hundreds of these studies is that for every study which says 'bad effect', you can find one to argue 'good' effect (and in more recent years with introduction of structured learning plans for under 5s, more studies actually point to better effect than not) My own conclusions (and bear in mind I may be biased because my dds went to nursery 4 days a week, 8 till 6)are that it very much depends on the child and his/her family background (pretty close to what Golden's saying actually). The deviance/aggression/crime angle has had a lot of stick from crimiologists who argue that the kids you see in the courts/young offenders centres have, almost without exception, never stepped foot in a nursery.
As with most things, the people writing these artciles usually decide what they want to say, then add the relevant studies, missing out those that don't 'fit' (pro and against) Interestingly, (and again controversial and guilt inducing)one 2005 study found that the best rates of sociability and early academic performance are found (in descending order) in children who attend private day nursery, then those that stay at home with mum/dad, then child minders, then (ahhh) grandparents. It all evens out by the time they are 7 though .
Personally, and taking my academic hat off for a minute, I think the whole parenting lark is difficult enough without having to waste precious time justifying your own decisions about how you bring up your child! (and BTW, we used to use BIDDULPH as an ADVOCATE of nurseries as his stuff was pro-nursery until recently - these changes of philosophy usually accompany a new book/career shift I've found!.
Right enough! Better leave this and pay some attention to my dds!.
Diege (Ph.D!)

goldenoldie · 19/02/2006 10:50

Mumsnet link.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1372&threadid=146013&stamp=060219104937

goldenoldie · 19/02/2006 11:00

Beartime - you are one brave lady for posting that stuff on the nursery debate thread.

I don't agree with you re: women should be submissive to their husbands and all that, but I admire you for having the bo*cks to stand your ground. Well done.

Rodeo · 19/02/2006 12:54

Morning!

Sneaking on here while the children are 'camping' in their room and Jis having a kick about on her changing mat....

I personally hate the 'nursery/mum at home' debate. Have only skim read your posts (I haven't got a brilliant attention span!) but I find this subject is just yet another one to make mothers feel guilty! And instead of supporting one another, we end up berating each other's choices and values. What is ideal for one family isn't the next families ideal. Will get off my high horse now

Glad some of you agree with me on the smoking thing My mum and dad used to be heavy smokers to and we hated it! So much so that me and Lau haven't even tried a cigarette!! Not even when we were wayward teens!

Have a nice Sunday all, Jess is now getting grumpy so I'd better be off

OP posts:
twinkle1 · 19/02/2006 17:51

hi all,
sorry i have not been on for a while life is just soooo busy!!! And josh has had a ear infection.All is well here,hope everyone else is ok???? Im off to the n/east for 4 days over half term to see the family Its marvelous the weather knows when im travelling !!! snow forcast off and on all next week.
well must go as someone wants feeding???!!!!
twinkle & Josh