October 2011: Gaining teeth but still losing sleep.

[sassy34264]

hope this works! the pressure is on at 3.30am!!!!

of couse you are welcome elgoldoen. sorry you are finding it emotinally difficult, struggling with your SPD must make everything a lot worse, like there is no where you get a break.

If it helps your ds sounds a lot like mine. Constant input required, even if i put him down and interact it doesn't last more than a few minutes.

However it does sound like you are struggling emotionally and facing back to work might be bringing things into focus. I've never accessed help myself, when I have been struggling basically dH takes over everything. Other on here have accessed help so hopefully they can contribute their experiences.

elgolden welcome back.

when i worked full time and had dd1 and also a house to look after, i use to feel dreadful. i felt like i was being split into 3 different people - mother, teacher and housewife. i also felt (and know this as fact) that i was unable to do any to the best of my ability. there wasnt/isnt enough time in the day to be 100% brill at being a mum, 100% brill at your job and 100% brill at keeping on top of the housework and it just makes you feel like you are failing at all 3. i got so stressed about it all that after being diagnosed with anxiety, heart palpatitions and having 2 panic attacks i resigned. ive never had a panic attack since and only once have i had heart palpitations.
it sounds like you might start to feel better when you go part time? (hopefully)

with regards to your ds not rolling or doing other milestones- im afraid that is something that happens. some are super quick, some bang on time and some are behind. the thing is, milestones are only averages and some can be super quick at some of them and super slow at others. ive got twins and they highlight just how different they can be. the boy twin-jacob hardly talks compared to the girl twin- isobel, but he figured out how to open the door with an upside down handle within 3 weeks and isobel still cant do it.

being on here may help, because you will see how varied every child is. my dd3 is roughly 5 1/2 months can roll from front to back (did this at 3ish months) but cant do anything else. she cant sit up, crawl, or roll back to front. she still smiles all day long though. cos she doesnt care that she cant. iyswim

by the way, im not advocating you resign- just trying to point out that you are not alone in having those sinking feelings. x

Oh elgolden flower welcome back as sorry you're feeling like that!

Blimey, none of my kids are meeting their milestones. Both can roll from front to back (although if I'm honest it's mostly because they fall over when pulling themselves up ), but neither back to front. Ayse is commando crawling (has been for a few weeks) and is into everything whereas Edie cries if you put her down as she wants everything to be done for her. But conversely Edie will play with toys 'properly' whereas Ayse just bashes them it throws them away - all babies are different, my ds was ridiculously early at walking etc (the bugger was running at 10 months) but still can't speak at 3 (admittedly that's due to hearing problems) but don't stress yourself out about it x

I was really anxious the weeks coming up to my return to work very teary and just a constant knot in my tummy. It gets easier x

elgolden I'm thinking of you - going back to work is so hard and sends your whole world spinning - you just feel as though you've got the hang of everything and all of a sudden you have to split into two. The best piece of advice I heard (I think from you?) is good enough is good enough

When I'm struggling I write a list on my fridge of 'to-dos' and If things are challenging there might be just a couple of easy things on there. Set the bar low and give yourself a chance to enjoy crossing them off. Once my list just said 'survive the day'!

Anyway, I'm rambling - but just know that you're not alone x

Welcome back elgolden flower! So sorry you're feeling this way - I don't have much experience to offer advice but want you to know we're all here to listen and there are some wise people here to advise.

I just wanted to report back that little pebble's lemon tart was a huge hit! So easy and so delicious! The pot luck lunch is good fun, last time we had 5 quiches and 3 big tubs of coleslaw! Today was a bit pudding-tactic but fortunately the last couple to arrive brought a lasagne and saved the day!

Glad W is feeling perky Strawberry

Any news on the car Mama? Get J with her crawling :)

Pink she just sounds lovely and active to me, all that leg kicking (and banging) must burn some energy.

MrsH P refuses the bottle too so I have started expressing some in to a sippy cup (not sure if that's the proper name) type cup. My theory being she might drink out of this instead, fx.

LP I fancy that cake now, I really need to exercise, hard to fit time in though - plus I hate running but hate tight clothes more, very difficult. Right now I am thinking I will go running tomorrow morning before DH goes to work - because I can't be arsed now (who the hell am I kidding)

Welcome back Golden I am not due back at work yet but am dreading it/hoping I come up with something else before then so can totally imagine how you feel. P only really started rolling in the last week and a half and she is one of the older babies - 5th Oct. I feed to sleep, my house isnowhere near as clean as it used to be, I end up just hoovering down the middle of the carpet and not the sides (because I would have to get the tools out and am trying to vac dead fast like a crazy person). Apparently according to the HV the other day babies at 6 months should be sleeping through the night - er, okay then!!

Sassy has my Grandad been putting your door handles on? he had upside down sockets (and tried to tell my Gran they were supposed to be like that)!

Good advice about the list Jnice

I do wish P would stop clawing my face and neck :(

Hi elgoldenflower welcome back

I also worry E isn't rolling at 24 weeks, but on the other hand he is sitting up... I think they are just better at some things than others.

I'm currently experiencing exactly what sassy describes about being split in three and not doing 100% at anything. hoping it will get a bit easier once I get into the swing of it.

Ooh MrsH glad tart went well its a good recipe isn't it!
Elgoldenflower forgot to say I also feed to sleep and have filthy house

Oh god, don't even get me started on my house, what a tip
mrsh lunch sounded fun!! We had a cocktail night like that once, everyone had to bring a big jug of something. Very drunken night

We've had a lovely day visiting more family and sitting enjoying the sun. We were a good 40 mins from home though and by 6pm S was starting to get proper tired and grumpy. Had no change of clothes or clean bottles left and felt like a pain being the one to break up the 'party' and say 'well we need to go home cos S needs her bed' (I wasn't driving) but then I thought sod it! She is the baby and most important right now and if she needs to get home to her bed then we leave! I was trying to keep her awake in the car which was a struggle but finally got home, quick change and her milk and she was out like a light.

Hope everyone's had a lovely weekend

Thank you all for your support, I've missed being on here. Very glad to be back.

My LO is now in his cot, fingers Xed for a good night. I will now write a to do list jnice v good idea thank you. I'm feeling much better after lots of support from you lovely people, tears and talking it through with family and DP.

I'm going to see HV tomorrow aft to have a chat but cheshire if she tells me LO should be sleeping through I'll quietly ignore her.

I think my anxiety is mostly related to my going back to work, I've never felt so torn - before I had him I thought I'd be glad to go back but I could happily have a year off at least, unfortunately that's just not an option. Hopefully I'll chill out a bit once we're all in a routine with it.

fuzzy glad to hear someone else worrying about getting LO home in time for bed after a night out. I try to be very relaxed about his routine but bedtime's mostly going well so I feel like it needs to be respected. We had a meal out whilst on holiday a couple of weeks ago and some friends said - "don't let him dictate your schedule, he should fit in with you" but at 5 months I just felt it was mean for us to keep him out. When he's a bit older though I'll hopefully find some compromise.

Hope you've all had a great weekend.

Hi all, sorry have been so distant, anxiety is getting the better of me again.

Would really appreciate some input from other mums on what you make of Cs feeding routine- times, whether to give bottle or solids first.

6.30am, breastfeed.
8.30am 1/2 weetabix with 2oz breastmilk and little bit fruit puree. Then a breast top up so he's not hungry till lunch.
12pm bottle (7oz)
12.30-1pm finger foods, petit filous
4pm bottle (6oz so he's not too full for solids)
5pm 2x veg puree ice cubes, maybe a little bit of fruit for pudding.
7pm breast & bed
10.30 dream feed.

This is a massive improvement. However I'm not sure about whether I should give the bottles after, or during? It might sound like q lot, but he is a hungry baby! He's 29 weeks.

Oh, and a big wave to elgolden motherhood is tough isn't it. I'm struggling with pnd and am currently in a mother & baby unit getting excellent help. Do you have anyone around you for support? Your little boy sounds just like mine, it will be so much easier in a couple of months and can get around and entertain themselves more. Cy is also not interested in rolling at all, though he does funny stomach crunches all the time trying to sit up!

Oh, and the docs have extended my leave, so we had a lovely day out and I went back home both days this weekend. Baby steps :)

edgolden A'tai doesn't really roll either if that makes you feel better, he's only a few days off 6 months and still not really rolling. I know he can - he has once or twice - but that was months ago. It's like he just doesn't care to do it.

I am going back to work in 5 weeks and have mixed feelings about it - I was really worried when I was due back this month, but got a month extension and it made the world of difference in how I felt about it. I would love to be at home with my baby forever, but know it's for the best. I keep reminding myself that I have have 8 1/2 months off and he'll be 7 months old, and many women don't even have the luxury of that.

scheh your routine sounds sensible to me! I hope you are feeling better.

We are having massive sleep issues at present, he was always fine (one or twice a night) but about three weeks ago he started waking all the time and it hasn't stopped, he wakes about 3 - 4 times a night now at least. I am exhausted and perplexed as have no idea why. DH thinks the dummy is to blame as it falls out and he cries as he can't settle himself by himself, but I'm not sure. He's not always hungry as I only feed him a couple of the times I get up. Anyone with the magic solution?

Scheh your routine sounds good to me, glad you're getting really good support for the pnd. I've got good support from DP and some family although they're further away than I'd like, but phone calls, emails, skype and visits make a huge difference. Also DP's mum comes to stay and helps out every so often, aiming to have a first afternoon out with DP without LO when she comes next.

Penelope Our boy has always woken a lot in the night, we co-slept up until 4 months so it wasn't too bad but then moved him to his cot and it was proving really tricky. At that point we pulled out the Slumber Bear that we'd not really found useful until then. Unless he needs a feed (which he still does twice or sometimes three times in the night) it goes off (sound/motion activated it plays womb sounds) when he stirs and generally lulls him back to sleep, that can happen several times in the night and it's so much easier than shushing, especially when we're trying to enjoy a couple of baby free hours before bed.

Scheh I don't know if there is a right answer or not, personally I bf P before she feeds herself as otherwise she can't concentrate. I am sure someone with more experience than me will be along shortly to let you know though.

Pene we have gone from waking every hour last week to every 2 hours now. I am wondering if she is going to build it up and we are coming out the other side now, fx It's 12.26am, we shall see what happens

scheh good to read that you are doing ok, I hope the anxiety is being managed. Your routine looks really good. L isn't yet properly on solids but last time I remember being told milk first as for a while that's still the main source if calories.

Keep being good to yourself x

Yehh we get to 4.44am (and I think it's only because she woke on her front).

I hope this length of sleep improves.

Yay Cheshire!

Scheh you're routine sounds great very similar to what I do with E (except much more organised than me ) glad you got the weekend at home. X

I have a terrible sinking feeling

I was asleep for 20 mins when L woke up. I am so tired I feel like throwing up and my skin is crawling. I am terrified of what tonight brings now.

DH is away but have mum here to help. It's not the same though - I don't feel I can wake her at night in desperation.

Wtf is L playing at? He just won't go back to sleep unless he's on me

Ok, 11.40pm and he's back asleep in my arms. Wish me luck getting him back into the cot! My body is creaming out for sleep right now.

Oh Jnice I really feel for you. Is it maybe time to try a bit of tough love? At 6 months they don't need to feed regularly and waking up becomes habit. It might be a tough few days, but I'd bedtime feed, dream feed then put down and not pick up till morning. Give him a comforter in the night if he wakes up.

Jnice - Hope you manage to get a good nights sleep, can you feed whilst lying down if it comes to it?

Sche - Your routine sounds good, it's useful to see this - I had forgotten all about timing feeds and food. I think from memory I used to do a mid afternoon and morning feed so my DD would be hungry enough for her meals.

Penelope - I've found that the amount M is awake during the day really affects how she sleeps at night. She is awake virtually all day with just a couple of half an hour naps and very long sleepy feeds, it's so hard for me to get anything done, however she does sleep through. On the days where she sleeps for ages in her car seat on long journeys she's awake feeding loads through the night and wide awake and difficult to settle. If she sleeps in the day for more than a couple of hours I wake her up so she's tired by night time. All this activity and lack of sleep could be contributing to her low weight gain, so I'm not sure if this is a good solution, but it means I get a good nights sleep after my totally exhausting days.

elgolden - Welcome back! I think it's important that you just do what you feel comfortable with and what's right for your baby. We have definitely let our DD dictate our life but she is happy, secure and confident - I think routines/patterns are great, maybe we miss out on doing things because of getting our DD in her own bed at a decent hour, but being a mum means making some sacrifices and doing what's best for your children. Your slumber bear sounds excellent btw!!