March 2010 - Our Terrific Terrible Twos will be big siblings

[PacificDogwood]

I hope nobody minds, but I went and started a new thread .

Sorry, headgirls!

Congratulations Fliss and well done!

Good luck Ruby !

How are you coping with two Flip?

Siamese V doesn't say 'No daddy' but he only wants 'mama' and DH finds it very frustrating.

MissP, Manda how have you been?

News over here: started my new job two weeks ago. It is full time I am not sure if this was the best choice... I am feeling terribly guilty for leaving V 5 days with another person and spend only 3 hours per day with him :(

I hope everyone is doing well?
I will post more later.
x

Flipin Eck woman where did u hide that not so little man!!! Well done you!!

SIaMeSE- good luck.just tested positive lh surge here- shall I wake husband ??!! May not get opportunity iykwim with shifts otherwise! Thought I'd test first couple o months to see all working ok in theory them leave it to chance and try not to stress- day 15 so about right I guess.

DS turns his nose up in our house to whoever has just rejected him that day ie been out at work! He stays in a right huff at times that I wonder why I bother coming home! ;-) x

Flipin Eck woman where did u hide that not so little man!!! Well done you!!

SIaMeSE- good luck.just tested positive lh surge here- shall I wake husband ??!! May not get opportunity iykwim with shifts otherwise! Thought I'd test first couple o months to see all working ok in theory them leave it to chance and try not to stress- day 15 so about right I guess.

DS turns his nose up in our house to whoever has just rejected him that day ie been out at work! He stays in a right huff at times that I wonder why I bother coming home! ;-) x

Hello

Thank you Flip I thought I'd posted here already as I did promise, but then I was posting from the recovery room so wasn't really with it, so don't worry about thunder stealing!

Despite transferring and needing assistance and a PN ward stay I feel that so many of the 'issues' I had after DD's delivery have been resolved and that planning to be home was the right thing to do.

There's a pic on FB if anyone wants a nose at the chunky monkey!

Holy frickin' moly fliss! Many congrats on your scrumptious boy - so sorry to read about such a big blood loss - did they tranfuse or are you just recovering slowly 'naturally'. Is DD in love yet, or murderous?

I'm kinda scared about how big this baby will be after James being 9lb 12ozs and it's a) 2nd baby with this partner (subsequent babies supposedly get bigger) and b) another boy... but then I can't rest anywhere near as much as I did when pregnant with James and don't eat nearly as much (appetite often MIA) so... maybe, just maybe a smaller boy this time? Plus I am having lots and LOTS of wicked-strong braxton hicks which I have never really had before (I've had BH, but not OOOF! ones, or ones that come regularly over periods of hours...) and DF keeps teasing there's no way I am going to term...

And I still haven't started to prepare for this baby! Not bought anything, not washed anything, not properly considered sleeping arrangements. It'll sort itself out, cos it HAS to, but for now I just can't do it!

Finally spoke to the bereavement midwife last week - I think she was calling to make an appointment but I was on the phone for half an hour which culminated in her making an appointment for the consultant (this week supposedly but I haven't heard from the anc manager) and herself face to face at beginning of May. It made me feel peculiar for a couple of days, just voicing some of the stuff that I push down... all 'irrational' worries, but still so real to me.

I am ok, really, mostly. So don't worry about me!

Congratulations Fliss! and that's so good that despite not being precisely according to plan you feel like a few things are sorted. 11lb 7 tho - my eyes are watering in sympathy. I'll go and have a look at the photo later.

Manda Don't worry about a big baby...surely it won't be more than my little bundle of fun?

I've been sent home with 2 packs of iron and no transfusion - I had 9 packs of iron for half the blood loss with DD! Not sure how that works!

Glad you've spoken to the bereavement MW - I hope the appt helps x

Whispers hello this time and shrinks away embarrassed.

Come back, BPM! What's shaking in Bullet Proof world?

Congrats Fliss Saw the FB photo, he's lovely.

Hi BPM, nice to hear from you :)

evitas I'm good thanks, got 16w midwife appt tomorrow. Congrats on the new job, I can understand how working f/t must feel strange though. I've just booked a trip to Edinburgh at the end of May actually, maybe we can arrange to get together, maybe with Pacific as well?

Manda glad to hear you're mostly ok. I hope you find the appt with the bereavement mw helpful.

DH, DD and I are off to NYC for a few days in a couple of weeks. DH will be working some of the time but we've been before so I'm sure I'll manage on my own with DD. Then a few days after we get back we're going to visit ILs in Montenegro and spending 5 days in Croatia as well. Between that and Edinburgh we'll hardly be at home in May! Anyone else got any travel plans?

Ithank you!!!

My bullet proofing wasn't working too well then.

The last two years in a nutshell....

I went back to work full time when dd was 6 months and moved house two days later.
Spent the next 6 months struggling to keep head above water with working, travelling, new house and three kids.
When ddwas 17 moths we had we had a serious accident at home when she was caught in a petrol explosion. She nearly died and spent 2 months in intensive care. Since then we've been back and forward to hospital and desperately tried to come to turns with it all.

Life gradually returns to normal but dealing with a tantruming toddler who needs to be massaged, silicon dressings and pressure garments (a superhero outfit worn head to toe including balaclava) is hard bloody work!

I'm coping though - how are you all getting on?

Oh good lord, BulletProofMum. How utterly dreadful for you all. I can only wish your DD all the very best for what I imagine is a very long term continuing recovery.

Fliss - glad some of the demons of DD's birth have been quelled - but 11lbs what? Come on, that's just showing off, isn't it? Seriously, rest up, eat well, replenish those red blood cells and enjoy those newborn snuggles. I reckon those early days go even faster second time round.

BPM that is terrible - your poor DD . And poor you, and your DH and your older DC (I think you have two older boys?). What a terrible thing to happen, though I hope the recovery is going well. Please do post here whenever you want to (vent, rant, share successes, anything!).

MissP what a lot of lovely travel - v of NYC - it's much easier to get around than London with a buggy imo, as the subway is more accessible generally (plus I find people v helpful in terms of helping lug it about).

Manda I hope you find the app useful. Have you tried any sort of hypnobirthing/natal hypnotherapy? It may help you alongside what the consultant says.

Ruby you'll be next with the baby news!

Fliss so glad that you've laid some demons to rest. And hope you're not too sleep deprived!

Waves to everyone else. I'm waiting in for the HV today...which is no bad thing since the weather's grim!

Pulled something in my back yesterday - or maybe sciatica? - and had to call DH in tears as couldn't move to go and pick DS up from the childminder . Had to use my labour breathing and tell myself it was only pain and wouldn't kill me in order to move!

Thanks - it has been the hardest year of my life without questions. My boys are doing fine - thanks for asking. As you can imagine it's had a huge impact on them. My eldest saw the immediate aftermath of the accident (Daddy carrying DD and se was surrounded in light). You can find the full story on a couple of dedicated threads.

She's a happy toddler most of the time, but needs a lot of care which she hates. She has more surgery planned in June which I'm dreading.

Many congratulations to those of you onto the next baby - I'm jealous!

BPM what a terrible thing to happen - children are amazing though and their resilience is astounding. Hope the rest of the road to recovery is easier to travel for your DD

Oh BPM, what a horrific thing for you to have been through. Your poor DD. I imagine she's reaching the age where she'll start to understand why she needs the care she does, which might make it easier?

Fliss I realised last night that your DS is over twice the weight I was when I was born (I was 5lbs 10oz). You certainly deserved your glasses of wine last night

IT's actually been getting much harder as she hits the 2s. I really struggle to get her mask and gloves on (these help with her scarring and she'll wear them for about 2 years).she's starting to fight back which is horribly distressing. Hopefully she's get used to it and I look forward to he being able to understand why. However that will also be the age that she begins to realise that she looks different. Hard for any little girl. She has a childhood of operations ahead of her

Oh, the poor little love, BPM. I can imagine you do struggle to get her to accept everything she needs to wear. They are so damned contrary at this age, aren't they? And whilst it's fine for most of us occasionally to say, sod it, go out without wearing your coat/cardy/gloves/whatever, you obviously do not have that luxury. Hopefully, though, with time and age will come a measure of understanding and acceptance on her part - even though I'm sure that will grieve you too. FWIW my 6 yo niece was very ill a few months ago and spent a lot of time in hospital. I found it remarkable how - once she was well enough to have an understanding of what was going on - phlegmatic she was about her situation and also how knowledgeable about about the various medical procedures she became.

BPM I read one of your threads, god what a terrible terrible thing . My DH was treated at that burns unit - he spilled burning coffee in his lap and it was horrible, despite being very very minor in comparison to what your DD and DH have been through. The contrary-ness is very tiring so I imagine it makes the routine care even harder.

evitas hope the new job is going well. Sorry to hear you're feeling guilty - I hope it passes. Life with 2 is great! I have the luxury of Mon-Wed with just DD, as we're keeping DS at the childminder (which he really enjoys!) so time to catch up on sleep, enjoy sitting on the couch while feeding/DD sleeps on me...

siamesse I agree with you that your DD is going through a phase in terms of your DH. I've read threads about this in the behaviour/development section and the main thing seems to be to remember that she's not 'rejecting' him in the way adults do, as in she's not bearing any sort of grudge that he worked away or anything!

siamese good news, The Verve got it all wrong and the drugs do work With the AC, particularly (which I took the whole cycle and stopped at bfp, btw, although I know there are two schools of thought with that one) they will have a cumulative effect with each month (some women don't respond immediately but gradually over time so hooray for you!). Lots of luck. At least you know you're swinging the odds into your favour and, hey, shorter, more 'average' cycles makes for less waiting around before the egg even pops!

evitas I don't think The Guilt is something that every goes away, be you a working mum or sahm - I have plenty of guilt and I'm with James virtually 24 hours a day! I think you can balance your feelings with how V appears to be doing. If after a period of settling in you have an unhappy bunny then maybe it's time for a rethink, but if seems ok then really, if you need to work, it'll all work out fine.

BPM My goodness, I'm so sorry for the trials you've endured with DD (and will continue to). I should imagine that it's consumed all of your time and thoughts - no wonder we haven't seen you! But we'd like to. THe good, the bad, we're here if you ever just wanna sound off.

James is full of cold again. Oh good!

Thanks everyone. Evitas - never feel guilty about working. Enjoy the time without the pressure of little ones hanging off you leg or nipple! It gets easier.

Just had my primary school notification for ds1 and pleased that we got our first choice. One less thing to worry about!

Came across a great website last night made by US teenage burns survivors. Whilst a couple had been bullied at school, most felt their scars were part of them and wouldn't get rid of them even if they could :-)

BPM good news on DS1's school and on reading the girls' experiences. Have you thought about blogging? I know there are issues around your DD (and family's privacy) so it might not be for you, but it can be very enjoyable (I'm currently taking a little break from my own blog while DD is so young but do enjoy blogging!).

FF - I have thought about it but haven't for the exact reason you mention - privacy. I thought maybe it's unfair on DH and DD. I keep a journal (have done for the last 8 years). I guess MN is a compromise - there is some anonominity here, although my story is rather recognisable in RL! I still feel a little uncomfortable at times and I considered asking for my original post to be removed but have kept it there. We also have a diary started in the hospital that is 'to' DD. The nurses in ITU wrote in it, visitors, but mainly me. The aim is for her to read it when she's older to help her understand what she's been through. I had intended to keep up with it but it has fallen by the wayside somewhat. I have given it to nursery at the moment and asked them to put a fe entries in.

How's your husband now? I have become so aware of scald injuries having spent so long int he burns unit. Most of the injuries to children are scalds - hot drinks, kettles and even baths and showers can produce life threatening injuries. I hate seeing hot drinks in places with children (soft play, school fayres etc) and point iout the danger to the management where I can.

The diary sounds great - I blog anonymously as I worry about the dc's privacy too so any pictures only show them from behind, no names etc but you can get such great info and support from fellow bloggers (the MN bloggers network is great).

I'm also paranoid about hot drinks - not just because of DH but I had my appendix out as a child and a girl on the ward had been terribly burned by a teapot of hot tea and I've always remembered it. I particularly hate when people come into my home and are blasé about hot drinks - one nct friend used to do my head in as she would move her drink back to wherever I asked her to move it from and generally act like I was being paranoid (she's left London now so I don't have to deal with her!). DH recovered really well, but within a couple of weeks of the accident he found a lump in a testicle that went on to be cancerous, so tests/surgery/chemo followed and it was stressful (though he's thankfully in remission from that too).

Been lurking again...

BPM I am so sorry for what you have been through, I can't even begin to imagine. Have just found your threads on your DD's accident. I live near the hospital where your DD is treated so if you fancy a cuppa next time you have to visit PM me

Congratulations on the new arrivals FF and FP loving the pics on FB

Just joined twitter, another Internet place to fritter my time away on....

Dealing with terrible twos here, good lord the defiance!