April 2011 - silence might be golden but the April ladies are diamond so chat on

[GlaikitFizzog]

Ta Dah!

[GlaikitFizzog]

Do you think it would be a good idea to speak to someone about my CS? I have so many questions that keep coming up. They play quite a big part in our decision to put off having another for quite a while. Who do I ask?

[JKSLtd]

Definitely speak to someone - ask at the hosp if they have an afterthoughts service?

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

If you make the decision to speak to some the best place to start is the Supervisor of MW's at the hospital. Either she will do the debrief or they will have someone who specifically does them.

Write the questions down as you think of them, then take your list with you. Also have someone accompany you, it can be a very emotional experience.

I would say that if your past experience plays a part in delaying having another child, then yes a debrief could help you.

Nice to see you Caramello, and glad to hear ds1 has settled into preschool after a shaky start.

[kittycatcat]

Ali

thanks caramello hehe

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Fizz definitely talk to someone, there will be a debriefing thing that you can have with a midwife, and if you want to then you will should be able to speak to the surgeon who did your section.

It is very emotional, so take DH with you, but not B if you can help it. My DH needed to hear it all as much as I did, because he felt much like ILike's DH, that he had let me and DS1 down when we should have been able to rely on him.

With me, there were specific issues to do with how DS1's head presented to my cervix that prevented dilation. The hospital also admitted that we had had poor care during my labour and been left alone too long with an agency midwife who didn't follow correct process. I cannot tell you the relief to hear it all.

Yes to making a list.

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

He is asleep, thank fuck.

[JKSLtd]

Ali - are you keeping a close eye on that possible mastitis? Hope it isn't for your sake.

Feeling a bit domestic goddess today - have done usual stuff around the house + some 'above & beyond' stuff. Have sausages & mash ready to go for tea once I get DS1 from his first after sch art club today :)
And DH has just texted to say he's going to be home early so can have tea with us !

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

I love when I do a bit of above and beyond, I think smug is probably the word that describes it for me

I hope you got to rest while T slept Ali , remember to feed feed feed. Fingers crossed you just have a brush with it, rather than full blown.

[Cyclebump]

Fizz, I felt far better after getting a detached apology from my PCT over my aftercare debacle. I was starting to think I was being silky but, actually, my care was shoddy.

Poor you Ali, hope you feel better soon

Ok, biters...

I teach three-year-olds and whoever said it's mainly frustration has hit the nail on the head. At 2-3 toddlers are as hormonal as teenagers without the communication skills to verbalise their wants and needs.

We've had a couple of biters and some serious tantrummers. Trust me when I say your preschool will have seen it all before and as long as you don't dismiss the behaviour outright/blame other children they'll be fine with it.

One of our biters is now one of our best students two years down the line. He's gorgeous!

[kittycatcat]

Just been to the docs. He's put my due date at 17th sept but he didn't check my cycles which are 32 days (all two of em since S) so I'm going with Sept 23rd. That'll prob change at the scan cos we aren't a tall family!

[GlaikitFizzog]

Oooh Kitty! It's all become real! You are still crazy, but a happy crazy! B is a snot monster today. How the hell do you wipe their noses? B won't let me near him. I used to judge snotty nosed babies thinking their mothers were neglectful, but now I understand and have removed my judgy pants forever on that one.

I think I'm going to contact the supervisor of midwives at the hospital to see whats what about getting a debrief. It's not just the CS really, but the fact that the induction didn't work and I was told that if I didn't have the induction the day I went in my only other option was to have it the following day. Which I now know to be bollocks.

[kittycatcat]

fizz I use wet wipes. He seems less fidgety with them.

[caramellokoalalover]

Fizz I have a good friend who had a debrief after her first child's birth and found it so amazing. She hadn't really realised how angry she had been until she went through the debrief.

Oh and I sneak up from behind S to wipe her nose. Is that mean? If she sees me coming with a tissue she immediately starts to thrash resulting in snot smearing rather than wiping. Grim.

cycle thanks for the word about the biters. I'm so glad that so far it was just the first day. He told me he was scared of the other children taking 'his' toys away. I wish he could have just cowered in a corner rather than bit. People feel sorry for you if you have a shy child, not so if you have a biter

Hope the boobs are fine Ali.

Aussie when are you off to Australia? Must be soon. Very excited for you! And a weency bit jealous

[GsyGacheFiend]

Get well soon Ali, and glad to hear the chicken pox are starting to scab over kitty.

I'm loving Fridays, they are the only day me and the DC don't have to be anywhere. We stayed in our PJ's until lunchtime today and then DD had an unheard of 2 hour nap. DS got to watch a Dvd and I had a crafty nap on the sofa.

We popped round to my parents for a bit this afternoon as it is their Ruby Wedding Anniversary today. I'd had a bouquet delivered to them this morning and I took around a fruit cake I'd iced and decorated. We took a couple of photos of the cake. DS then added his own artistic flair to it with the red writing icing and pretty much the entire contents of mums baking cupboard.

[kittycatcat]

Argh. s slipped In the bath tonight. His gum bled around one of his top teeth. Should I be worried? It didn't bleed for long and he calmed down ok. What to do?

[BuckminsterFullerene]

Hey Kitty, F did that faceplanting in the washing machine. His gum bled a bit, then looked a bit swollen & bruised for a few hours, but was fine by the morning.

I'm sure it'll be fine, but try a walk-in place or emergency dentist tomorrow? Or NHS direct tonight. x

[BuckminsterFullerene]

Wait, I didn't mean 'in the washing machine', I meant 'on'.

He categorically was not IN the washing machine! I'm not THAT bad



He was watching it go round & round, kneeling up & pointing. Trackies + vinyl floor = loss of traction.

[MrsWajs]

Ouch kitty Poor S, hope his gum/tooth is looking fine this morning?

Ali Hope you're feeling a bit better today?

Frakk I have absolutely no intention whatsoever of dropping all milk feeds at 9mo, I was completely when she told me that!!! R has picked up the morning feed again so can now stop panicking about it!

Re: biting, DSS was a terrible biter....and nipper....and scratcher!! I remember one time in particular when he bit a little girl right on the cheek during story time at nursery for no apparent reason!! The nursery were really good about it and he had a star chart to use and got a sticker everytime he behaved. We used it in the house too as the aggressive behaviour wasn't limited to nursery. Again I think a lot of it was frustration. He's fine now and actually was just telling me the other day about a younger boy at nursery who now bites and hits people and how they all have to be patient with him and tell him that biting is naughty!! Oh how things change!

Fizz I def think a debrief might be helpful for you to discuss your CS. I found that going in and speaking to the SOM where I had R really helped me put a few things to rest in my mind. And I was glad when she agreed that some of my aftercare was poor. Made me feel that I wasn't over-reacting/going mad!!

I wondered if I could get some opinions from you guys too about SIL. My mum and I are a bit concerned about how she's coping/bonding with her baby. To give you a little background she is currently living with my mum and dad as DBro is in the Navy and living in Portsmouth (they are waiting for married quarters) her mum and dad both live in the same town as us but she refuses to stay with them as a) her dad is an alcoholic (totally understandable) and b) she says her mums house is too small. Anyway DNiece is about 4 weeks old now and SIL just doesn't seem to be all that fussed about her?! In the last week she has left the baby to stay at her own mothers and has come back on her own to stay at my mums on 3 seperate occasions (I'm talking about overnight not just for a few hours). On Friday we went wedding dress shopping and again she left DN at her mums from 11am until 9pm (we were back from shopping at 6pm) my dad looked after R for me and I was desperate to get home and see her but SIL doesn't seem to care when she next see's DN. She's really struggling with night feeds (2 a night mostly) and last weekend she was falling asleep feeding baby in the morning so my mum offered to take her so she could have a bit more sleep. She went back to bed at 10am and got up at 3pm!!! I'm not sure if I'm explaining this all that well but basically, someone else has the baby more often than she does. I just couldn't bear to be parted from R when she was that tiny? Maybe it's just me but I just find her behaviour really strange. It's almost like she's realised that having a baby is a major commitment and it's a total inconvenience to her. Any ideas/opinions, do you think I'm over thinking it all? Is PND a potential factor? I understand she's in a difficult situation as my Bro isn't here all the time but they knew that would be the case before having a baby and what will she do when they are both back down south and she has no mums to help her out?

[kittycatcat]

His tooth seems fine this morning, thanks ladies.

mrsw the following comes to mind. PND. As u say away from ur db so that could be causing it. Why is she taking dn to her parents and leaving her when she won't stay herself cos of her dad. And like u I muss s when not with him. I had to leave him at 2 months to go to a wedding but barely even left him with DS much before that. Think I went to a spa up the road which was also prep for me leaving him. Hmm. I too would be concerned if I was u. The sleeping made me think pnd too as when I was depressed sleep was my escape! Not sure what u can do tho.

[kittycatcat]

What's your thinking on stair gates? S can climb the stairs. I can shut the living room door to keep him from them but when I'm in the kitchen he can also access them. I'm also worried about him falling down them, and he's too young to be taught how to come down safely. I've been looking at them and dont want to screw them into the Walls, but even the pressure ones say to use adhesive on the cups. Help.

[JKSLtd]

MrsW - Pnd does seem likely, she prob underestimated how tough it would be on her own without your brother not sure what you can do, talk to your brother about your worries?

Stair gates - we have a variety pressure on the kitchen door (not currently up), screw in at the top & bottom of he stairs.
The bottom one is not currently up either as DD isn't mobile yet. The fixings can be left in between DC needing the gate up. I figure that DC trash the paintwork over time anyway so a few holes to be filled and painted over at some point won't make much difference.

We don't use adhesive on the kitchen one though? You will prob want quite a strong gate though as you'll want it upfor a while and the blighters do take to hanging off it

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

MrsW that does sound like PND :( Can you approach her HV and get her to have a chat?

kitty - we have screw-in ones at the top and bottom of the stairs. I don't have one on the kitchen, although I probably should after DH found T in the dishwasher with a 6" knife this morning No damage, but seriously heart-stopping.

Buck - T talks to the dishwasher when it is running, and stands up against it and presses his cheek on the front to feel the vibration. Bonkers child

I am much better, didn't need the GP in the end and the boob seems to have sorted itself out, thankfully.

I tried a pillow in T's cot last night - proper tiny cot one not a massive one - because it had got to the point where he would only sleep soundly wedged inbetween our pillows in our bed which was freaking me out. So I put one in his bed last night and he loved it! Grinnned away, was much easier to settle to sleep and slept for longer - and went back into his cot after feeds, of which there were only 2 between 8.30pm and 7.30am. Please, please let him finally start sleeping properly.

Please can I have some good luck vibes? DH gets made redundant on Friday, and he's got an interview tomorrow and another on Tuesday for new jobs.

[GlaikitFizzog]

Good kluck MrAli!

B is still a snot monster, but the good thing is he is sleeping it off. He had 3 mega naps yesterday and is on number 2 of today already. He's still a happy chappy when awake, just covered in snot.

Our washing machine and drier are in a big cupoard and B regularly is seen trying to prise the door open! So I sometimes just sit him in his highchair infornt of it and get me 5 minutes to clear up! Why is that? Babies are weird!!

[GlaikitFizzog]

That should be luck, please don't kluck MrAli, I don't think that will be what they are looking for, unless the job is at Chicken Hut, but I doubt that!!

[kittycatcat]

Good luck mrali