jan 09 brrr a chill in the air as our babies turn into threenagers :)

[2012hellokitty]

hi ladies

new thread

DD2 went all the way upstairs to tell poor dd1 (who was playing with her Hexbugs without a care in the world) that she was horrible and to go away.

I tell you. They can be beasties. T'is normal. Sharing caring gentle toddlers are a myth.

Helloooooo Tree!

Lovely to see you too. Hope life is treating you well, despite being so busy.

C'mon then woman, tell us all about what's been going on in your life. We're trying to revive this 'ere thread and neeeed you to spill.

I've seen rheumatologist - def have fibromyalgia or ME. He thinks fibro because of the pain. I'm not fussed, makes no difference anyway. Awaiting physio referral so have the comfort of knowing will have died of something else by the time that is sorted.

Work is huge and am coping less well. Taking on too much and spending less and less time at home or at home and actually free. Between about 40 hrs of work or work related and the amount of sleep I need - I get a few hours a week proper time with the girls

Sadly can't do anything about it as am now sole wage earner. DH is a full time student so we are head diving in to debt. I don't think about it. Too worrying. All ready massively overdrawn and it's only 3 months in!!

DD1 is herself. Anxiety, constipation, lack of social skills and lots of nerdy interests. Happy most of the time, but not herself recently. Rather bright and doing ok at school. Very beautiful.

DD2 is still wild. Talking a little better so perhaps a little calmer - but still very resentful and horrid to dd1. Still wakes eery 2-4 hours for anywhere between 10 mins and 2 hours. Hey ho. Diet could be unrestricted pretty much, but sadly she only eat noodles, chicken nuggets and yogurt anyway. So the dairy issue barely figures. SHe still has a good big bottle at night and possible another in the small hours. She is so different to dd1, she has no idea about letters or numbers and is just thinking about counting. I feel her talents will be all physical

I think that covers the big stuff - the day to day stuff just ticks over

Oh and I got fatter

At least you are some way towards knowing what's up then tree. My Mum has been diagnosed with Fibro and her symptoms are very different to mine. I didn't think a dx mattered to me until I was left in limbo by the neuro at my last appointment a couple of weeks ago - then I turned into a big baby and blubbed.

So sorry to hear work is still huge and such a struggle and for you that you aren't getting enough time with your girls. I was hoping to hear that things had picked up for you, perhaps going into teaching rather than all that shiftwork.

Lovely to hear from you Dog and good to hear you and the pups are all doing well.

Very exciting times for you planing your wedding. Have seen a couple of your threads on it, sounds like its going to be a lovely day.

good to hear from you tree and dog

tree - sorry for worries!
dog - at wedding
snowed here today only lite

hello, bookmarking then will be back to comment! tis 120 by the way..

Hello everyone, nice to see all the familiar faces!

Am now 16 weeks upduffed and spend quite a bit of time on here but don't venture from my antenatal thread as can't face a lot of the bitchier threads at the moment

I've read your post tea, and here is my tuppence worth.

I don't think it's your parenting or him as he sounds lovely.

I have similar challenging behaviour, not with H, but with DD who is older, but more sensitive to atmosphere/hunger/tiredness, gets overwhelmed and loses control quickly and thinks afterwards and is contrite (but that isn't the point really). So it may not necessarily be a boy thing. Also when she gets challenging now, I try and see if she needs a hug for reassurance and not an argument/confrontation and can sometimes head it off that way.

I think you might find the how to talk so kids listen book useful if you can borrow a copy.

What truly worked for us with DD is consistently punishing her when she hurts someone physically and we know about it/see it. It sounds easy but it is very hard to be:
calm (bored policeman) and
consistent (not relaxed when awake and snappy & strict when tired)

We needed to use a meaningful punishment too. If they raise their fist then think 'uh-oh I'm going to lose x if I do this', that's where you want to be, so they know they've got something to lose and don't get confused about whether you are going to carry it through or not.

In our case it meant her brother got to pick and watch a film and she didn't (we only have DVD's and they don't get them often so she was very, very upset and knew I meant business).

Now I'm more consistent and try to use threats that I can carry through and they know when I'm going to do it. They get a 5 second warning while I count up to 5 and if the behaviour isn't reversed by 5, the punishment it metered. It stops me from losing my temper too .

Good luck. You will get through this. It is yet another challenge, but one which will make you all stronger and also will weed out fake friends among the parents you know. We all get cross when other people's children misbehave but judging and tattling based on a lack of knowlege is quite another thing! I'm really sorry it has left you feeling so awful. It may be worth trying some of those 10 minute mindfulness meditations.. they really helped ground me when things are getting stressful... this too shall pass...

Sorry.. mammouth post too! Will try and pop in more often..

Hello Painterly, great to hear from you.

Congratulations on number 3, not sure if I've already said that somewhere up the thread already - but double congrats if I have.

Please do pop in more often and keep us up to date, its nice to have some of the old threadies back together again and lovely to hear what everyone is up to.

My news, not that I have much, is that we have booked Legoland for the boys' birthdays and decided to spend an extra £80 and book into the new Legoland Hotel. Told them this morning and it was like something off that advert for Disneyland on the tv. Leaping cheering children everywhere!

Also booked a weekend away in a nice country-style hotel in Yorkshire to give us all a bit of a break. Will do a bit of dog walking, a bit of touristy stuff and basically just get a change of scenery and some nice fresh air.

No snow here, but its blooming cold. The school run was siberian and that was with my lovely warm duvet coat on and I've never felt the cold through that coat before.

Thanks Moosey. V jealous of your holiday plans. Very gratifying to get such a reaction from the kids too!

We are saving all cash for next year's maternity (and also have 2 bathrooms to do up in the meantime!). Love being in the new house though... this time last year I had just started enjoying our rental with the lovely view of the canal .

Yes, have to say I was very relieved at their reaction, as we were worried that ds1 would have a meltdown when he found out we weren't going back to the same hotel as last time. Fortunately, he's Lego obsessed enough that a Lego hotel was just too much to resist.

I hadn't realised you'd bought a house. I think you were still in the rental flat last time we chatted.

hi painterly - wow 16 wks

hi mm - great about legoland bet there faces were a picture !!

yorkshire sounds good too

when r there bdays ?

good day here today
agree freezing !!!!!!!!!!!!

Birthdays are a week apart in April, but we're not going then, as its the school holidays and Legoland will be heaving, so leaving it a while afterwards.

Oooh, nice to read everyone's news, although I am not quite sure who everyone is these days - painterley how exciting, you must have a nice bump by now!

tea I have popped on here really to just give you a hug and some support - don't have much advice based on actual experience, just some ideas, although I do think the other pre-school with the outdoor area sounds lovely - I am a great believer in boys (and girls I'm sure) needing lots of exercise, like dogs, and I just think there is something about being outside and 'in the green' that calms them down. I know that N starts to go stir crazy if he's inside and having to stay still for longer than an hour.

But anyway, I think I said on fb - you have to believe the teachers in this situation - it's just one mum making a fuss, and they would tell you if there were a genuine problem. But so, so, so hard not to worry about how others see you, I know. You are so strong and have coped so well - you can take this in your stride, I know. What does exH say?

I do also think boys need other male company around - I know $$$ is tight but is there a martial arts/ sporty club that he could go to, and maybe exH/ exH's parents could help with the cost? Not even sure such clubs exist for 3 yo, but at least in your part of the world you might have a chance. Tumbletots? Could ex-H take him for a regular swimming lesson? (sorry, can't remember if he is still geographically close).

Anyway, keep us updated, I will be thinking of you .

Waves to everyone else - busy here, like the rest of you by the sounds of things - had the third bday party here with 11 kids and all their parents; had a mini meltdown beforehand but a glass of champagne or two saw me right - just wanted to use that smiley really

hi miss - great to here from you
hope 3rd party went ok
how r u doing with your too little ones?
11 sounds brave for party

all good here had a busy morning
delivered betteware books so cold bbbrrrrrrrrr!!
then popped to next and had to take in dds lunchbox as forgot this morning
then popped to tesco for mini eggs

Thank you Painterly and MissJ for you comments, I'm taking them all on board. I feel a lot better than the other day

Hi MissJ lovely to hear from you. Am very impressed at your bravery for having 11 littlies to a birthday party. I've always limited mine to a maximum of 6. [mean Mummy emoticon]

Good to hear you are feeling better about things now Tea.

We had ds1's SA medical today. The Paed was very nice, ds1 sat through the entire thing reading his enormous Star Wars Visual Dictionary, not making eye contact with the Paed and misunderstanding her questions, which I suppose is a good thing. At the end she said she was totally in support of our application for a statement and felt we had asked for an appropriate amount of support, which was really reassuring.

Took ds out to lunch afterwards at the only place we know of where we can get gf food. He was so pleased, bless him, as he rarely gets to go out without ds2, whereas ds2 has had lots of opportunities for cafe meals with Mum over the years, as wel usually need to feed him before he goes back into school after his regular eye hospital appointments. We all had a nice time at lunch today actually, unfortunately I succumbed to their gorgeous all day veggie breakfast and now feel positively barrel shaped and extremely sluggish. Safe to say my diet and exercise regime has been rather unsatisfactory this week.

hi mm

glad ds1s sa medical went ok and that u had anice lunch
u r allowed a treat sometimes

cant believe how cold it is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

had agood day today anice quiet day with dd2

I seem to have a new neighbour with a barky dog, I've actually started a thread asking about whether it will be a permanent thing or not. What do you think Moose? You have dogs.

Have posted on your other thread Tea, although I don't think I'm all that much help really, sorry.

How's it going with the weeny woofer Tea? Has it settled down at all?

Life's rumbling on here, nothing amazing to report.

Ds has his Ed Psych part of the Statutory Assessment process on Wednesday morning. She has to meet with us first, then ds. Fortunately its the same EP that worked with him before and she seems to be supportive. She went in to observe him at school last week.

I think that's it then, they just need to collate all the professional reports and put it to the panel for a decision.

We've been invited to a Local Authority evening on Secondary Transition for children with SNs in March, which is all a bit scary. I am at a loss to know which schools to apply to for him and in truth am just dreading the whole thing.

Ds1 hasn't been doing very well over the past couple of weeks, but is happier now its half term - although seems to have gone a bit hyper.

Hope everyone else is ok.

The property is going to be buy to let. It's was the Landlords brother in laws dog, who was there to decorate it.

Not much to report here, had the parents in law down for a visit and it was pretty pleasant surprisingly and they spoiled the kids with a farm visit and a trip to a model village. They saw the kids on Sat, Sun and Mon. They want me up in Scotland for a visit at Easter, I haven't been since last Easter, so I suppose I ought to go. I prefer being at home tbh not on my best behaviour and trying to rub along with PIL at their house miles away. I may fly up again if they agree to pay. I do not want to drive 8 hours on my own with a 3 and 4 year old.

Phew, I am really pleased for you Tea - nothing worse than living next door to a yapper!

Glad the visit with you ILs went well.