Dec 08 Mums - happy new year, happy new thread and soon some happy new babies!

[sybilfaulty]

Happy new year!

Sorry for the rubbish title but wanted to get the new thread underway. Let's close the door on some of the sad events of 2011 and look forward to a better year in 2012.

What sling have you got?

Hope it goes well Thurs. I think you'd have a good case to argue against induction tbh, you have a history of big babies. Remember though that often induction just involves the pessary or breaking of waters and the body does the rest, it doesn't have to mean the drip and being stuck to the bed. A CS is major surgery and you won't have dh for the recovery when you can't lift the baby let alone the big ones. Not to be negative about a CS, I know where you are coming from just make sure you have a lot of help including for school runs etc if you do end up opting for an elcs.

Kayz you do realise you have the final say in all this. No one can make you do anything. They are of course the trained professionals so they can give you all the advise and information to help you make a decision but ultimately the decision is yours. For me it seems obvious, given your past history and your age, it is most likely that you would birth this baby naturally and if you wanted at home. Why don't you tell them what you want to happen, in my experience of women openly discussing what they want with their MWs and even Obstetricians they take it all inti account and then advise according to that. I actually know of one friend whose MW practically held back a registrar who was wanting to use a vantouse for her babies birth but knowing what the mother wanted (& of course clinically assessing how things were going) to buy her a few more minutes and voila baby born naturally without suction. Despite the bad press the HCP are there to birth a healthy baby and they can do it very well, but they need your consent for anything they do. Also while I'm not a fan of induction, it is necessary in some cases and isn't always a bad thing. I've had two friends require induction due to pre-eclampsia and in both cases birthed healthy babies with minimal intervention I must add one was given tamazpan for the labour and i think it contributed to a good birth as she said she was ultra chilled out.

Loving the new name by the way.

Indith how long does pregnancy brain last?

Actually that is a very good point about the CS and again something you should bring up with the hcPs against it, as your dh won't be there.

DH's mum has been calling him and talking to him about his brothers wife. She had a baby just as we arrived in Australia last December (on my birthday in fact). She apparently had some mysterious injury during the birth related to her pelvis. Dh thinks his my said it had broken. Rubs can you ask your DH if it's possible to break your pelvis during birth? The baby was only 6lb and his wife is not a particularly small women, though she is Chinese, but still about my size. Anyway the baby is now 4 months old and the mum basically sleeps all the time, his brother looks after the baby at night if it wakes. He is quite well off so is only working 3 days a week while the baby is little as he does contract IT work, so he is home to look after the baby most days and on the other days my MIL looks after her. Apparently this has been going on since baby was born and it has been put down to this pelvis problem. I told DH it sounds more like PND and they need to speak to her GP but dh said that he will tell his mum but I know they won't do anything because they have this whole, don't talk about anything keep it all hush hush attitude. It's so frustrating because this poor women is obviously suffering and clearly has no relationship with her baby. Meanwhile her poor baby is missing her mummy. Unfortunately, Australia is quite behind the rest of the world with maternity care and so i doubt she would have gotten much skin to skin time, and no post natak support. As much as hv a bit useless they can pick on this sort of thing.

Vag yesterday I burnt the pasta sauce to the pan rendering it inedible, it took me about 5 attempts to light the fire, I managed to throw a tub of soup over the kitchen and I'm sure there was more but I can't remember it. I don't think pg brain goes away!

And yes Kayz, ask what your options are, ask for details of increased risks so you can make an informed decision and have confidence :)

Hello all, thanks have been much better since that awful day! Congrats Kayz glad it all went well. No advice on big baby thing as mine both came out the sun roof on request but I do know those scans can be very wrong sometimes.
Vag we have put stair tread down and now DD has a couple of stair tread injuries as it's so rough what type was yours? It's very non-slippy though! Just asked dh and he says you can't break the pelvis but you can get Pubic Symphysis Disruption. The pelvis goes all soft and stretchy so it wouldn't break.Actually I have a friend who had that - extremely painful for her, but she's got loads of other probs too. I can't remember much else I read - happy belated MrSybs.
Pissed off at the weather. Planned to have Spot jam and Lady over today. Jam had to cancel then DS's football put a make up session on this afternoon and the weather report said RAIN - its sunny here forecast has been wrong all week. I would have missed football and made a day of it if I thought it wasn't awful.
Had a nice albeit soggy day at Drusilla's in Brighton / Eastborne on Monday. DD having massive teething again so explosive poo on arrival, then more later in the day. Then we decided to kick ourselves while down and stop for pub meal on the way home and she was obnoxious - throwing stuff around and all the rest. DS was pretty good though very tired out and have a bit of a tantrum as he didn't want to leave Thomas. We are thinking of going to Thomas land next month [madness] but he is just obsessed and every morning since Monday has woken up saying we need to go and see Thomas at Knapford station. Back in a bit

I know it's up to me what happens but I just think it will all be easier if the MW says that it's my choice.

I don't hold out much hope though as I measured 30cm at 28 weeks and she said then if I stayed big that I would need to see the consultant to discuss delivery options. With DS2 he really opposed me having a home birth.

I really worry about induction as most people I know that have been induced had drips and had to stay on te bed to be monitored. Out of the 8 women I personally know 7 of them ended up with either a CS or forceps.

Indith, I have the Kari Me sling. I really like it but still haven't quite worked it out.

Thanks Rubs, yeah it maybe that, but she has been practically bedridden since the baby was born, she is under the care of a consultant for whatever it is but it all sounds a bit extreme. I think I annoyed dh as I was saying that culturally the Chinese are so against anything which goes away from the normal as they are afraid of losing face or causing people to talk, but because of this this poor women might not be getting the help she needs. He did agree this is part of the problem. If I'm wrong and she is just physically having problems well I don't see what staying in bed will do, surely she needs physio and getting up and about. I think basically she needs to harden up. But I do think she needs to see someone from a psych team.

We took ds1 to Thomas land he loved it. The soft play is hilarious though it is run by a couple of scary old women who run it in 15 minute sessions. Every 15 minutes they kick everyone out and sterilize the whole softplay.

Hello all, in bed with gastroenteritis so just lurking but Kayz just wanted to say DD2 is a Rosalie! So obviously we love it and it's ace :)

Oh Kiwi poor you, that's not fun. I too like Rosalie, anything Rose or Rosie related in fact. One of my girls names if we ever had one was Rosia pronounced Rosseeya. Its the little Tuscan town closest to the farm where we had our wedding reception and we we all stayed for our wedding week. It has my fav cafe in the world.

Whoop whoop - both girls in bed and asleep and it's not even 8 o'clock! And DH is away, so my prize for excellent bedtiming is a TV and MN night, with hot choc and cake. Mmm. Back later to catch up

Just quickly -Vag as dh is here. he says it can be really painful to walk which I guess can make you bedridden to some extent (depending on tolerance) As per most docs he isn't a fan of AD's or psych teams, so kind of eye rolled that one for her. Hard to comment I spose but I think you're right about the Chinese thing.
Kays whatever you do, don't be afraid if CS is the best option. The planned ones usually go swimmingly - it's an emerg one that can be more hassle later, so if in doubt..... (oops)

I can understand the pain but the not wanting to care for your own baby is a worry surely. Why is he against psych teams most consultants I've worked with are quite OK with them, the neuro I ran a clinic with used to have a psych consultant in on our clinics once a month as he worried about the stress some the parents were going through and the risk factors for mental illness.

Hey Rubs you'd be proud of me we had a big clean out and are selling loads of stuff on a Expat buy and sell sight here. It's not quite ebay but I'm doing OK. I sold a play set for almost the same price I bought it for a the boys old clapped out pushchair for 10 euros. I've now got a bunch of other things on the site and have some people coming around to buy a fair bit of it already. The best thing is having more room in the shed.

McKayz you watching the game.

Well done Zj! Enjoy your chocolate treats!

Poor you kiwi, sickness bugs are the worst.
That does sound troubling vag. Chronic pain must be horrendous though and would contribute to pnd.

Kayz Kari me slings are fab!

Vag I was just typing as he answered when I asked him - probably translated badly but he's upstairs working now. I don't want to offend, so to be brief, he says whilst he agrees sometimes people need psychological help, most times they need to just get on with it and man the fuck up - I have to agree.
Hows that for non rambling Rubes
Thumbs up to the selling of stuff - I've been really crap - have absolute truck loads of really decent cute outgrown stuff of dd's that needs to be eBayed. have taken photo's today but just can't be arsed....!

Oh no believe me I'm with him there, and really my first instinct when dh told me was a chopper style 'harden the &%£+ up' , but pain is one thing, ignoring baby is another. I had a massive breast abcess that practically had it's own weather system it was so big and so painful, but my priorities where still with feeding and cuddling ds1. Anyway its a moot point because they won't do anything.

Selling stuff is quite time consuming, loads of sorting out pick up times and waiting around.

Bah, spoke too soon, DD2 woke up shortly after my triumphant post and is wide awake and wanting to play. I am eating cake regardless

Welcome back Aubi, I love the idea of your holiday promises. And I suspect it was very easy to keep your promises if the girls weren't whinging - no other sound drives me to shoutiness quicker

Kayz I love Rosalie, but she's not my daughter, so what I think counts for nothing. Isn't WGs DD1 a Rosalie, as well as Kiwi's DD? Are you planning to give her a middle name? We were just like Vag, and DD1 would have had a different name had she arrived 24 hours earlier or later. You have 6 weeks before you have to register, so you could wait for DH to meet her, if you don't mind her being nameless for a few days

Bah again, DD1 awake as well now. I feel this will be a long night ...

How is the house clearing going Trace? Do you have a move date yet? DD1 is going to my parents this weekend, and I keep saying to DH "we should make the most of a child free weekend, go to the pictures or something". Oops, poor neglected DD2, she is staying with us, so we probably shouldn't go out. I really think I might forget and leave her somewhere one day!

Vag your SIL doesn't sound to be in a good place. Is she close enough to any family or friends, to talk to and open up with, if there aren't psych teams available?

Get well soon Kiwi, sounds grim. I hope the girls haven't got it too?

Indith all that info on the terrors is invaluable, thank you. I think for us the key is making sure she gets plenty of sleep, as you are so right about it being linked to tiredness and creating a vicious circle. Unfortunately DD1 doesn't nap anymore, but I think we need to be strict about bedtimes and routine. In fact, it could well be linked to routine, the last set we had were at half term, which I assumed was down to DD2 being born. But this set were at the start of the Easter holidays, and the ones prior to half term were over Christmas, as she finished at her usual day nursery. So maybe it regularity of or school really suits her? For now, we're not going to wake early on in the sleep cycle, as it doesn't happen every night - she'll have a bad week and then be fine for 6 weeks or so. And even in the bad week she might sleep well a couple of nights, so I don't want to rouse her if it's a good night. How did you get DS into your bed to soothe him? If we try to touch or cuddle or lift DD1, she fights and fights, and she's blooming strong. Once the terror has passed, we tend to get into bed with her and sleep with her. And possibly randomly, I've noticed she grinds her teeth in her sleep - could that be linked? I don't think someone in a state of relaxed sleep would grind their teeth, it feels like a tension thing to me. How is all the snot in your house?

In more positive news, we've booked a holiday today, for July. I'm already excited!

Vag - yeah true re: the bub with mum absent agreed. I'm half arsed watching the Apprentice (delayed) but dh still dictating and likes to watch it, so might go to bed.
ZJ where is your holiday to?
I have to get on the planning band wagon this year. I have skiing to book for next season and I really want to know if my brother is having anything planned for his big 4-0 as I would like to surprise attend, but seems like a long shot at the moment.

hmm that sounds like dh is dictating what we watch - by that I mean his work!

Mckayz I was induced twice - once peassary and once drip and was fine - birth with drip was dd1 and really great (all things considered). So not always terrible - is only natural hormone that would be there anyway so used well - and I reckon that is difference in outcomes - is not massively different from natural birth. Well wasn't for me anyway. But can understand your worry - seems daft to suggest you will have problems when you've done it before.

Anyway - just thought I better say that - have been meaning to post for days but everyone has been ill. Am up with ds tonight. Poor love. Will try and properly post tomorrow.

Morning All!

Can you believe I had one glass of wine last night watching Apprentice and this morning my head feels like I drank about 2 bottles worth

Kayz Is your MW appointment today? Others have said it all very well but IMO if you stick to your guns about the way you want to birth this baby then they should listen to you. I have a memory of something I watched/read about bigger babies not necessarily meaning harder labour. You have done it before...good luck.

Kiwi Hope your on the mend soon, sounds vile.

lady How did the wedding go? I saw your snaps on FB but couldn't see properly what you wore?

vag Your poor little niece and SIL - what a horrible situation for them all to be in.

ZJ Hope the cake & hot choccy got you through your evening?

trace Hows things re: the move? And beans how are things going in the new pad?

Right best get a move on, we're off to take the DC's to watch Alvin & the Chipmunks 3...its only a £1 each at the family showing, hooray! Tonight mum has offered to have them overnight too, so DH and I will probably go out for something to eat and get to have a lie in tomorrow, hooray x 100! Although we should be camping but its cold and wet and that does not a happy camper make!

McKayz - sorry for delay in getting back with this but here is the link to the home birth site about big babies. It might be useful reading.

First day back at work. Boo.

Did I mention I have lost half a stone in the last three months? Yay!

Well done Aubs! I've lost 5lbs in three days but I'm not sure I'd recommend the gastroenteritis diet as a healthy option :)
Feeling better now anyway, fortunately no sign yet of anyone else getting it but DD2 has chicken pox now. Seems as unbothered by it as DD1 was and isn't even trying to scratch but they do look a bit more manky than DD1s did - she's got one on the bottom eyelid of her eye which looks particularly nasty!

Kayz friend of mine at work had her two boys at home - 10lbs and nearly 11lbs ..

Aubs that link is brilliant I didn't realise that elective induction & cs is actually not recommended for suspected large babies. I like that page I had a look at it when i was planning ds2's birth, but my MW was pretty good and so i didn't really need online support. I'm sure McKayz will come back from her mw visit happy, she's done it once at home so reason why she can't again. To quote a annoying turn of phrase that dh usest"it's a no brainer"