Dec 08 Mums - happy new year, happy new thread and soon some happy new babies!

[sybilfaulty]

Happy new year!

Sorry for the rubbish title but wanted to get the new thread underway. Let's close the door on some of the sad events of 2011 and look forward to a better year in 2012.

Kayz I would take the ibuprofen. V exciting are you nervous?

Kiwi if she looks scabby then its good to go!

Can I just point out that my DH is a knob jockey. Seriously the man hasn't got a clue. Over the next 3 months he has the london marathon and then has booked himself in for 5 other duathalon, triathalon type events and also has the allotment to plant up and has various social activities. When I pointed out last night this leaves a nanosecond of time for us as a family he lost the plot and stormed off upstairs. Grrrr, Honestly bloody men. Meanwhile his response to my point was that I go out 3 times a wk on my bike (for an hr) when I could be digging on the allotment. 3 time s a week!!!! While for months we have put up with marathon training going out with his mates and everything else that he wants to do. Would it be wrong of me to be considering divorce? Oh yes and I am the one who always takes care of the boys walks the dog cleans the house......... and on and on.

And breathe.

Oh dear Kayz, hope it is better for next week!

Kiwi if spots are all scabbed over then it is fine. They say around 5 days from the last spot.

ZJ you poor thing, glad she is fine. I have many, many neglectful child injuring stories to tell, thankfully social services has yet to be alerted .

Kiwi the latest advice is 5 days after the spots appear even if they haven't scabbed over and dried up. However, your nursery might have a policy that says scabbed over. Either way she is fine to go back maybe just give them q call to check.

ZJ I'm glad DD2 is fine but good call on going to the AE, that would have been my option, when they are little its not worth missing something or waiting. Well done. Poor DH bet he feels a bit bad.

Jam your DH sounds like he's got Aunt Flo visiting. Bit emotional isn't he. And good on you for doing the 3 rides of 1hr that's brilliant.

I'm so tired today, DH suggested an early night but I was up looking for holiday ideas. DH will finish work officially at the end of May but will have nearly 2 weeks holidays which coincides with DS1's school holidays. As we probably won't get a family holiday over summer we feel like we should do something that week. But we've just been on the big holiday and the snow trip so I don't feel like doing much else. But poor DH hasn't had a holiday completely free of work calls and hassle for ages so it would be nice for him to have a proper relaxing holiday. Has anyone ever been to the Ardennes? It's close and has MtB for DH.

Indith Yay Yay Yay.

Ditto for Kayz, though talk to MW first about the brufen I thought it was a no no all through preggersness.

Pox update: called nursery, they said bring her in and we'll have a look and then pronounced her good to go. Hooray! Though I feel totally at a loose end now as had planned toddler-based activities today and now it's just me and DD2 so no idea what to do with myself!

Sit down and have a cuppa with me Kiwi. I'm folding the washing while m' shows are on.

ola sorry been so long. i've not been well - abdo pain/some sort of infection who knows. lots of head scratching from drs and various tests. scan tomorrow so hopefully that will rule a whole load of other stuff out. yawn. congrats indith and vag i can"t believe i missed you in this neck of the again. love to all. will post more when a bit less weak and

MW said not to take the ibruprofen at all and was pretty annoyed the doctor told me to take it so was going to have a word with him.

Urbane, I hope you feel better soon.

Urbs do take care of yourself.

ZJ forgot to comment what a fright good idea for peace of mind to go to A&E. I worry that if DS2's head ever got xrayed they would find a multitude of fractures he fell on it so often when teeny.

So stupid cocking argument has completely spiralled out of control and am now so fed up with DH I am practically seriously thinking divorce. Someone talk me down and remind me why I love him. In his own words will take into consideration what I have said. In other words will let me stew then let me know he will continue as before. Vag youve done triathalons how much training is involved? I just dont think I am being unreasonable to ask him to just consider the amount of time it all takes. According to him its a much easier training schedule than marathon running. Of course it has all just brought up old wounds and we end up being horrid to each other. Culminating in him going out with a friend already pre arranged before barney when all I want him to do is come home and talk. SO he will get a bit drunk ie more stubborn I will sit at home stewing and taking it out on a hoover (prob a good think ) Farking men.

cross with Kayz stick to parcetemol then. Although am pretty sure I took it when preggers.

In his defence Triathlons are a lot less time consuming training wise, apart from cycle training the length of time out training is a lot less than marathon. However, it still requires at least three sessions a week, and that is very much at the least. Also in his defence the amount of triathlons he does won't really effect the amount he has to train, once you are fit for one you are fit for them all iyswim, you just need to maintain that fitness for the season. in the day I used to do between 3-5 triathlons of varying lengths in a season. However, doing that many means you have at least 5 weekends out of your summer where you are waiting around while he races. I think he has to compromise a little and also understand that any time he gets you get too. Would yiu consider getting a trailer for your bike so yiu ciukd all go out together for a ride, or somehow make his runs time out for everyone kike yiu all drive somewhere, drop him off then drive to a pub or park for lunch and he meets you there at the end of his run. ut I think you have to both agree to hear each other out about this and no discussion when h is inebriated. Are you sure it's just the time away that is bothering you both is there something else going on.

I think its just the I want to do something attitude and without a thought for anyone else he just goes ahead and does it. The marathons and tiathalons, the boys holidays, the nights out. Meanwhile here am I good wifey at home who has to think what the bloody hell everyone else is up to before I can decide whether I can even have a poo in peace.

There is other stuff relating to money and trust which is always a huge underlying issue but which would take pages to try and explain. But hey ho am sure by the morning we will have both calmed down and be able to discuss it all rationally like adults

Oh ZJ poor DD2, how scary for you and DH! So glad that you are all okay.

Urbs Hope you are okay, take care of yourself.

And Kayz This time next week you'll be wed - how exciting. Use this next week to rest that ankle as much as you can.

Kiwi Glad nursery let DD1 back in. DD has always avoided the pox, even when DS had it.

Jam I totally understand why you are so peed with DH. It wouldn't bother me so much that he was doing all that training/socialising etc but the fact that he hasn't really given family time with you and the boys a second thought. I hope that you can get him to sit down and discuss it properly tomorrow. Don't do what I would do which would be to wait tell he gets home and then have a stinking row when he is drunk. It won't help but I have never been one to hold back!

Oh yeah I hear that sista! Poor dh bless him did try his best to organise it so I coulc get out and train but it had to be organised with military precision, and even he who was trying his best just didn't seem to get why it annoyed me. Sometimes for that little time slot I didnt fancy a run or it was raining I just wanted to be able to go out for a run at any unplanned time. It's worth giving a try talking to him, but I have to say dh couldn't see how he could help so it kind of went around in circles. Sorry not making much sense I've taken ages to wri

had two bad nights of sleep so I am feeling a bit grumpy (and unusually, a bit down). I know that sounds horridly feeble when some people have had months of sleep deprivation...sorry. Just feeling like I am not really achieving anything with my life (bit heavy, I know! I am sure I will get a bit of perspective in a day or two). I do have a night out in London on Saturday night, which is cool, and then I am going to go to Mum's for most of next week, which is always lovely, but this week I have been feeling a bit useless, underachieving and generally very sorry for myself! Erm, in no particular order and probably missing people, for which many apologies:

Sorry you've had a row, Jam. Vile, isn't it? Well, he is being selfish, of course...I think people (not people, men) sometimes hugely underestimate what it takes to keep the show on the road with a family. I find it a strain tbh. Not the kids so much, but just everything else. DP doesn't go out very often but his work looms very large...he just has so much homework and prep and I just feel I am 'at work' until the kids go to bed, by which time I am too knackered to do anything. But there I am, yakking about myself when we were talking about you. I guess you need to make him see how it is, but it's so hard. From past experience, if you can bring yourself to discuss it with him gently and with smiles (even if you feel like bopping him on the bonce with a pan) you are more likely to inch towards the result you want. It has taken me 39 years to realise this Thanks for the tip about DP becoming a Ltd company, and yes he is self-employed but the Bar Council forbid it, sadly. But yes, it would be tax efficient if he could! I love that you have been to a Parish Council meeting! The village are getting their tentacle arms around me as well...

Urbs, I am worried about you. I hope you are ok. Please keep us posted!

Aubi - how did DH's interview go yesterday?

ZJ - I am sorry to hear about DD2's tumble, how frightening. Particularly with one so wee. Did you manage not to blame your DH? I remember how furious I was with DP when he squashed DD2's finger, which was so unfair as it was a complete accident. You sound like you are really enjoying her, though, which is absolutely lovely. I felt much more chilled in the weeks after DD2 was born than with DD1. Oh, and April's trip (apart from Essex) is Boulogne-sur-Mer in Northern France. All four of us are going this time! Just for a weekend.

I'm glad you had a good trip to London, Vag. The whole friends thing is a poser, I agree. Now I haven't got my London flat, I have just barely seen friends there and it's a massive downer. I have a few friends here (or am starting to) but I am not sure they know me as 'proper me'. But maybe this is the 'proper me' now. I suppose it is! But hey.

Loving the new name, 'Cible! How's work these days?

Wotcha DB. Sorry to hear that DS is going through a phase of wetting himself. Anything you can bribe him with? Are you still dieting? I am, and still losing weight but at a really slooooooooooow infinitesimal rate. Some of the ladies in the village are trying to get me to do a 20 mile charity walk in mid May. I fancy the walk because I adore walking but I never seem to find the time. They are all training, and stuff.

Spot - wowzers, that's quite dramatic news, your DP resigning. Are you going to move again, do you think? Is he going freelance?

KP - I am glad that DD1 has breezed through the pox (relatively). How did you spend the day, in the end?

Indith - jolly well done! I have to say I had a sneaking suspicion you'd get in

Kayz - I was given paracetamol laced with a small amount of codeine when I was pregnant...I think that's as strong as you can go...Hope it gets better for you.

Effie - thanks for the tip about Cbeebies mag. I do buy that one sometimes and finger puppets are very popular with both girls. Did you have a lovely birthday?

Right, need to do some cricket emails....

The first bit of that was missing but you get the gist

Hello,
Sorry for extended absence - bit of a combination of being busy, off and on mild illness (no doubt recurring from ongoing lack of sleep!) and feeling that I was boring everyone to tears with my ramblings! I'm not going to even try and catch up but I have popped in now and again and know I owe congratulations to the new babies, commiserations to sad premmy baby news, and a lot more.
I've had family visits, then another friend & her family visit from back home, and a couple of impromptu BBQ's which has been really nice, due to the weather. I've been sorting out stuff with our flat as our long term tenant has left so getting things done with that.
I am attempting a kind of couch to 5k thing as well (well I must stress, I'm on day 2 of week one so early days but I'm hopeful)
Kids are well - apart from off and on mild stuff. The littlest still sleeps badly and often displays Academy Award type stuff at 2am but we are learning ways around it! DS has been a little star and so manageable these days (unless cooped up at home when he starts winding his sister up - so does help to regularly get out even if just the garden!
Lady sorry to read you are down - I have FB-ed you (is that what the kids say these days?) about next month, and look forward to seeing you soon.
I know there is loads more I have missed / wanted to say, but I will try and skim back. Oh Beans I hope the move went well and things with your Dad as good as can be.
Jam I hope things get sorted out soon - lets get together and break down this DH issue! x

Welcome back! Wooo, you have caught the running bug as well? Am impressed! It's just the walking bug for me...And glad to hear you sounding chipper. This weather has been so fab, I do agree. Will look forward to seeing you soon. x

Urbs: hope all is ok, do take care. And if MN keeps eating your posts we will have to hit it with a big stick.

How are you doing this morning Jam? Those arguments which bring up old wounds are grim. Is there any chance DH is acting out due to recent job stress? In any case it is horribly stressful and irritating for you to have to be the grown up all the time.

Kayz: how's the ankle?

Lady: you are amazing but completely get the underachieving feeling. Sometimes I look at my wrangling at work/home and think why did I bother with the degrees when all I do is explain things very slowly to people and children who don't want to listen? But I reckon being your good self is a massive achievement so there .

I do miss being excellent at something, with nice tidy marks and certificates to prove it. Sigh. Was talking to boys about sticker charts yesterday (thanks to Trace we are starting up a nice big one with many shiny stickers next week). I reckon I should get stickers too. They think I can earn my stickers by getting dressed quickly in the mornings (DS1) and buying ice cream (DS2).

Glad to hear things are going well

Hello

How are you all! I have been lurking but not posting, still sticking to no mumsnet at work and finding working and looking after these two exhausting so never seem to get chance to come on and post.

My two are both good, DD very cute and lovely and chilled, does not appear to have yet hit tantrum phase, but expecting it any moment. DS less trouble these days and generally really lovely. Just back from skiing holiday where we deployed lots of childcare so this may account for my positive attitude though, I am sure they will be driving me up the wall in a bit...in fact DS currently shouting at DD for trying to look at the same book as him they also have a pack of crayons all over the place out so prepared for everything to go very wrong soon...
Was very pleased with the holiday in general as we had DS put in ski lessons and 3 and 4 year old childcare, so were a bit worried about him not liking ski lessons (have had a hell of a time getting him to do swimming lessons without melt down last term) and also about him not being perfectly toilet trained since it said that "they must be able to take themselves to the toilet" which I found quite alarming as DS is still at the "I NEEEEEED a WEE WEE" stage, let alone when wearing salopettes. But they were quite good about it, though he did get thrown out of childcare for being "ill" when he did 4 poos in his pants in a row!! (poor childcare people). And DS loves skiing, and wants to know when he can do it again (not sure about that as it has bankrupted us) - though he couldn't do much actual skiing, just sliding down the hill and falling over when he went to fast.

Indith great news on getting in to the midwife course (knew you would!)
And congratulations, sorry have not been on since the birth!!

Kayz how exciting about your wedding next week eek, hope the ankle is ok.

beans how is the new house. Are you quite near me now?

Does anyone want to meet up one Friday soon? Either in London or at mine or somewhere else? Obviously not next friday as that is easter but otherwise am free most.

jam don't get a divorce! Is very hard to strike a balance between having time to yourself and family time I find. Can you just try and book as much time away from the family as he does? So if he spends all morning on a training session then say the next morning you are out (though don't tell him you are doing this as it will sound petty!). I think the key is making sure that going out and doing stuff is the same amount of hassle - so if he just wakes up on Saturday morning and says "Oh I'm going out training" then you should have a similar amount of flexibility to wake up on Sunday morning and say "see you at lunchtime - I'm going out". If he doesn't like it then maybe it will seem more reasonable to him when you complain about him doing the same! Oh one thing that really works for us is having a joint online diary so we put stuff in that so we don't clash.

ARgh goign to have to give up on this as DC's are banging my laptop and DS is saying NO WORK, I WANT THE CAKE GAME. oW now he's sat on top of me and digging in a plastic volcano into my leg. Oh bless, he just said "Am I allowed to have have the cake game if I ask nicely, please please please" so I think I will have to oblige.

How are things chez Jam this morning? I think what Summer says about firmly grabbing time for yourself is a good idea. I try to do this. It's easier not to and just let it roll. But then you just wake up one day with an inferno of resentment raging inside you. So make sure you have little top ups of time for you.

Good to see you, Summer! That's you, Rubes, DB and Urbs back in the fold after a short absence

I remember why I don't post elsewhere on here. I started a thread in Style and Beauty about wearing a white dress to a wedding, and got some rather irritating, sniffy responses. Sigh. It's my own fault...

Do you know the bride, Lady? Cos I would prob ask. Unless she is going all Bridezilla.

I don't know the bride well, but she is absolutely lovely. The groom is a close friend. I am loath to ask her as I just feel it comes across as a bothersome Hyacinth Bucket-type query when she has undoubtedly got more important things on her mind. She is wearing ivory, not white.

I actually thought that ensemble sounded quite nice Lady. The only no no I have for myself for weddings is nothing over stated as its not my day it's their's, and no black, but that's a silly superstition thing. They are probably just a bunch of trolls, bored as not enough bf/ff or sahm/wohm threads worth hassling today.

Rubs, summer your abcenses are noted and will go into the truancy book as they are not acceptable (Urbs your sick note is OK). DB I'll let you off because you have a sore leg.

Effie I was told by ds2 the other day that I have "lovely manners" and he "really appreciates when i speak to him nicely"