Dec 08 Mums - happy new year, happy new thread and soon some happy new babies!

[sybilfaulty]

Happy new year!

Sorry for the rubbish title but wanted to get the new thread underway. Let's close the door on some of the sad events of 2011 and look forward to a better year in 2012.

dh wrestling dd out of the house and I hear "dd! you've forgotten your knickers!" . She is such a nudist.

Kayz that is a gorgeous dress, tell your friends they are talking bollocks. You should see some of the horrors sold as wedding dresses here! Colchester has a ridiculous number of wedding dress shops and most of the dresses on display would require serious planning to get through a door. And then there are the prom dresses (same designs but in lime green with half the top cut off).

See?

www.jeneveve.co.uk

Some of the colours are a bit bright

Welcome back Trace! I very rarely take the girls to the supermarket, it is meltdown central. Really unhelpful advice from your HV though.

Back later on. It is gorgeous here today.

Trace Just had a thought. I give the boys jobs to do. Like a little shopping list of things they need to find. It doesn't work all the time but when it does work its great.

Trace the emails I fear is my old hotmail acc. I have closed it (again) so it should stop. I hate being hacked...such a pita swopping emails about.

Sat in car waiting to pick DS up from pre school...please god let me not have another load of washing to take home.

Kayz your dress is lovely, and purple is my fave colour.

Effie I'm LOVING the lime green number

I can only just pop in. The girls' last day in London today, so am spoiling them rotten. Been to softplay. Battersea Park Zoo and out for a nice lunch in Northcote Rd - had to go there as DD2 had dropped her Dr Quack (vital duck comforter thing here ) and needed a new one immediately! Spoilt! This pm heading to the sandpit up in Tooting. That's if they wake up at a good time! Both out cold with exhaustion! I'm tempted not to rush to wake them as I'm out with work tonight and DH on duty with them tonight, so he could deal with their non-sleeping. HA! Evil me!

DB, I'm afraid I don't know much about 5 year olds. Because I've been so stressed about so much of late, I've been a TOTAL bitch shouter to DD1 and I am feeling so bad about it. But when she's off on a whinge/cry, I've discovered that if I whisper to her, she finds it nigh on impossible to resist being quiet and listen to what I've got to say. No idea if it works on older kids, but works a treat on her.

Kayz - that dress is gorgeous! You'll look fantastic!

Trace - amazing news about the house! I'm so excited and hapyp for you! Well done! Hurray! That's just smashing!

I'm taking the girls down to Mum and Dad's tomorrow, then heading to pick up the keys at 12.30, then into the house for the cleaners at 1.30ish. Oh yay! So exciting! Then the big move proper is on Saturday. I'm back to London tomorrow night for dinner out with DH as we have no kids with us. Then into the house on Saturday. Mum and Dad bringing the girls up with them on Sunday and DH has the day off on Monday to get the house sorted.

I'm a little bit worried as Dad hasn't recovered from his last batch of chemo yet. And I do mean, last batch, which is great. Although slightly bitter-sweet as he won't be able to have any more. He had a scan today, and a blood transfusion. I don't want to leave the girls with them if he's still feeling crap, but Mum is kind of clinging onto having them to stay as a relief for her, if you know what i mean. Results of his scan next week. He's not very hopeful about the scan results. But he's v emotional and very very up and down. But he has had a really bad week this week.

Lady - I've been meaning to ask you how you're doing about your Dad at the moment? I hope you're doing ok.

Lots of love to all.

xx

Blimey Trace that is the most useless piece of advice from a HV ever,and that is saying something. However, I'm surprised you need to go to her, you seem to have behaviour management sorted. I don't think I've ever read a mumsnet page with more helpful advice. I'm going to try out all those things. Yesterday DS2 was trying to get up from the table without having eaten his dinner. I tried all sorts of bribes etc until eventually it boiled down to me screeching like a banshee at him, that there would be no pudding and no Octonauts. Cue that very moment for DS1's headteacher to tap on the livingroom window to get my attention (the school is moving and she wanted us to park our car in front of the school to help reserve the space for the removal vans in the morning). I think I might have outed myself as not very montessori.

I love that dress Kayz, it's very elegant I think.

DS2 now mostly dresses himself if I leave him to it. One day I asked him to start getting dressed and he kicked a very attention seeking whoohaa, so I just said "fine don't get dresses, see if I care" dropped his clothes and stormed off. He was very quiet and then about 5 mins later he walked out to me looking quite pleased with himself, completely dressed from top to toe. So since then I just lay his clothes out and leave him to it. It helps if DS1 is getting dressed too as the see it as a race.

Trace sorry about the sleepiness esp SS it means we've seen less of you, but Hooray on the house stuff that's brilliant. Would you mind posting a link to the one you are buying. Just wanna another look.

Right gotta go DS1 has gymnastics this afternoon. We are running a bit late because DS1 had a friend over and his mum picked him up late. It wasn't her fault. I said half four in dutch (which actually means 3.30 how confusing is that) but she only hear the number four so thought I meant four o'clock. So much for trying out my language skills. Might just leave it to DS1.

Lady that is crap about the child benefit. For me that is money for the child and should be given regardless of income. But I see your point about millionaires. DH and did remark that by raising the tax threshold to 9000 I would have only been taxed on half my old income as a special schools nurse. Doesn't really offset the crap pay though. Lady does DP have an accountant, can he get much in the way of deductions, he must have an awful lot of costs, like court fees etc.

Oh Beans sorry to hear about your dad. I think it would be good to have the girls stay with them. These moments for yours girls are going to be precious. Thinking of you.

Evening all,

trace That chart is SUCH a good idea. I know exactly what you mean about it looking brighter when breaking things into little chunks. I really notice it on days when I work as I seem to get the non-cooperation over breakfast/dressing/rushing out of the house. Then the screamathon of getting home/tea/bath/bed. I find it so draining. Very odd advice from your HV. As I said, I avoid the supermarket and get nice Mr Tesco to deliver my shopping. Suggesting you work more is plain weird! How does that help?!

ladyT I couldn't remember if O crawled ahead of her late walking, but I do find that incredibly reassuring so thank you. I do have a worry in the back of my mind that DD2 will have slow development due to her prematurity and I think it makes me more worried than I might have been with a term baby. She seems up to date for other things, she has started to shake her head for no and do the babysign for drink recently. It doesn't help that I can't remember when L did things!

I don't think CB should be cut at all. There are many more things I'd cut first. I'm very cross with the government. With work we are seeing how the cuts are starting to bite services for people with learning disabilities. I could RAGE about it but I'll keep my vitriolic thoughts to myself .

kayz Lovely dress. Very beautiful.

beans Sorry your dad is still low after the chemo. It will be wonderful for your mum to have the girls with them. Such a lovely distraction from everything. Good luck with the move!

Anyway, speaking of work..... must get on. I'm doing my half day spread over a couple of evenings which works out well with childcare costs but I'm shattered sometimes after a day with the girls and I'm straight on the computer. Am going to treat myself to catching up with the apprentice on iplayer later on. My life really is THAT exciting .

Blimey, I come on to do a quick catch up and the thread has multiplied - making it a much bigger job for me now. Gives me something to work on in the early hours. How lovely to have everyone peeking their heads in again, quick, shut the door so you can't escape!

DH is currently reading yet another story to a shattered DD1. Itdrives me mad that she is clearly so tired but pushing it by asking for another story and another, and he just does whatever she wants. Distraction is great when she's building up to a paddy at certain times, but sometimes (when she pushes her luck day after day for example), I think 'no, tough' is the right answer. I don't think it's fair on her or her teachers to send her to pre school tired tomorrow, she should have been asleep an hour ago. Arrgggh, blooming Daddy's girls and their over indulgent Daddies. DD2 needs to hurry up and finish this feed so I can go up and get bossy.

Will stop ranting and think instead of the lovely fish pie that is in the oven and the artichokes bubbling away - I was so excited to pick the up today, I think they've been for sale this far out in the sticks precisely 3 times in the 6 years I've lived here, so very much looking forward to them. Right, back at early o'clock, see you later

he he look at me - twice in one day!
Va it's funny you say I don't sound like I need the HV - I feel very much like I shouldn't need her because a) this is second time around for me and b) part of my job involves helping families with behaviour management (!), but for some reason I can apply none of it to Phoebe! We just reach a stand-off and I don't know where to turn, eg, tonight I was getting her ready for bed and needed to brush her very knotty hair and brush her teeth, and she just refused. Wriggling away when I tried to hold her still, clamping her mouth shut - I just don't know how to deal with it. So frustrating. Anyway the HV clearly didn't have any magic answers so any other tactoics would be gratefully received.
Actually I've conquered one battle on the advice of a friend. P was really playin up whenever I tried to put her in her car seat so my friend suggested talking it through with her in advance and offering a jelly tot for every time she got in nicely, and since then we have had perfect car-seat behaviour - and no doubt slight tooth decay, but I'm not thinking about that Ladyt is it your brother who's a dentist? Shhhhh! Don't tell
Well I accidentally bought P a cute new coat today ( by accidentally going into the shop and browsing ) but it was £7 reduced from £22 in M+S. Bargain!
I'm just about to settle down to the Apprentice from the last night so I can enjoy it with JB! And I might eat some Malteasers too

It's my SIL who is a dentist, Trace But she two out of three of her kids are REALLY naughty so quite frankly I have always figured they'd quite benefit from a few sweetie bribes. Plus I am pretty laid back about sweets and chocs myself, though hot on teeth brushing. Tbh, P's behaviour sounds a LOT like O's lately, especially with the hair brushing and teethbrushing. SOOOO annoying. Your HV sounds incredibly unhelpful but I don't think there are any magic bullets for these things - just as much calm firmness as we can muster and wait for them to get older...

Kayz, that dress is absolutely beautiful. Really, really lovely. My computer kept locking on the other links so I haven't checked those out yet.

Beans, I am so sorry your Dad is feeling wretched. I honestly think the best tonic is doing things he loves, as much as he can. In fact I don't just THINK that's the best tonic, I know it is. Also, to be kind and gentle with himself and not expect just to bounce back from the chemo, it will take time. You are so kind to ask how I am feeling about Dad. Er.....it's just extremely painful. It's horrible. And that feeling of knowing I am going to be sad about it forever. Someone once said to me (wisely) that the pain of bereavement never goes away and that is so true. But what you do is learn to live with that pain. And that's right (in my opinion anyway). Also, there are things you can find to take comfort from. But...I get this feeling like a silent groan spreading through my body. I know the trips that I am doing this year are partly because of Dad. I think of him a lot when I am on them, and DH of course, who is never very far from my thoughts. Good luck with the move. Give London a kiss from me!

Trace, I am just about to watch The Apprentice, but no Maltesers here!

No JB, no crawling with O and no pulling herself up. Just the bumshuffling, really. But man, the girl was a talker I bet your DD2 will be similar.

DP does have an accountant, Vag, but he's clearly not that good

Am being pants at posting will try harder.

Just been reading up a little. Noticed vag and lady's convo about CB. Lady, is your DP self employed. Can he be a ltd company. Then he can take basic salary under the tax threshold then the rest as dividends. Its very tax efficient then you don't lose CB. Am sure you know all this anyway.

Oh Trace bloody great news about your house and am so glad you are feeling more steady. With regards P. consistency all the way. It's quite often the same here. I work on a 3 strikes and your out. But bribery often wins when I am
In a rush.

Loads more I want to say but am cream crackered. L has reverted to his Summer waking. Hello 5am. Grrrrr. I also am cycling loads which is great but 10miles up and down dale every day is a wee but exhausting. Bonus is I can eat loads of biscuits and chocolate.

Haha Trace I know exactly what you mean, in my old job I had a lot to do with continence management and enuresis kids. I do all the things I used to tell parents not to do!

I know with somethings you can't do this but with ds2 I have gotten some results by just ignoring him and walking away. He gets a real shock when he thinks he has pushed me too far, so suddenly wants to redeem himself. It also helps that he is quite a mummys boy lately though so I think he hates the idea of losing mummys love.

With the car ds2 has been getting into the car and climbing into & out of his car seat for a while. He was a begger with it so we just started letting him get in by himself and he was fine then. For us things like that and toothbrushing and hair washing it has helped having his older brother to kind of model off.

Gotta go I'm on the Tablet and it is really noisy to type with and dh is trying to sleep. I need to work out how to turn the keyboard down.

Hi Jam!

Oh bloody hell I can't keep up...

NotVeryMontessori your domestic tableau made me laugh out loud!

Effie I think I know the book club you're talking about. A random woman I met in the park one day was doing me the hard sell on it - I felt like I was being recruited into a cult or something. Would be interested to hear what it's like, but I'm not sure book clubs are my thing as I'm pathologically antisocial not much of a joiner. I would quite enjoy being a fly on the wall at a book club though. And you're right about the dress shops here - what's that all about? Who the hell buys from them? Mind you I find myself thinking that about most shops these days. I'm the world's most rubbish shopper. I managed to spend £19 in Poundland today though. Just imagine all the crap I came home with. Mind-boggling.

trace sorry you're struggling a bit with P at the moment. DS is a bit of a dressing refusenik but luckily for me I get to sneak off to work at that bit of the day. Apparently telling DS mummy & daddy will get arrested and thrown in jail if he is late for school works if desperate measures are called for. Both of mine have gone through the teeth cleaning thing - it's horrible and it feels like it's going to last forever but it doesn't. One day they just forget and move on to the next way of annoying you.

DB I'm adrift on a sea of foreskin ignorance here as well. DS's keeps sticking to him and he's forever fiddling with it to unstick it. It's been happening for about a week and a half now. There isn't anything immediately visible, but to be honest I don't really know what it's supposed to look like up close. Any ideas anyone? DP doesn't think a trip to the GP is necessary but I'm not sure.

LadyT excellent, it's a date! Sorry to hear it's still tough for you without your dad.

Beans Sorry your dad is still poorly. LadyT is right though - it takes a good while to get over chemo.

kayz lovely dress. Are the boys excited about the wedding?

Invis thanks - will check out the Piggie & Gerald book.

So, the Apprentice, what did we think? I thought the girls looked very promising, especially the Irish one. And I don't mean promising as in she'll make a million by the time she's 30 of course. He defo got rid of the wrong one though.

I had the day off today and felt like a proper mum - school run, preschool run, picnic in the park, bike ride & playground after school. And tomorrow I'm being an even more proper mum by being a helper on DS's school trip. Get me!

X-posted with Jam & Vag. Jam don't know if you saw it but Effie & I were talking about maybe meeting up soon if you fancy it.

Forgot to say congrats on the house trace.

PD get back to work, your making me look even more slovenly than usual. DS1 is off school today but DS2 is at school for the morning. DH was supposed to be dropping the car off to get a service then going to a meeting but the meeting was cancelled so he took DS1 with him to drop off the car and come back in the courtesy car. Unfortunatly the car man who gives out the cars wasn't very courteous and wasnt there and DH instead of waiting thought it would be nice to catch a tram back with DS1. Basically it took them ages because the car place is out of town. So I managed to actually do some housework then with time left over I did what any good SAHM worth her salt does, I busied myself with a coffee and the internet. I should really have gone for a run, but I think I might this afternoon. I bought a bootcamp deal thing on groupon for 5 local bootcamp sessions for ?19 so I'm set for something to carry on with when my PT sessions finish in a couple of weeks. So basically I've done my exercise for the day...haven't I?

Our poor cat. It's very sweet and loves a pat, but in the nicest possible way, steers clear of DS2, because, well he's a bit rough. She does like him, but seems to prefer him asleep. We often find her sleeping next him at night. Anyway today he asked if next time could we get a nice cat that doesn't run away. Poor cat is only 3 so it's going to be a while til the next one.

Trace how is work?

Ah, DD1 at school, DD2 at nursery, sitting in my garden, enjoying the sun, drinking an expresso made with beans I ground in the new machine I got for mothers day, listening to cheesy Magic FM and not feeling embarrassed as it's courtesy of next door. All in all a good morning. Topped off by the fact that for the first time ever DD2 didn't cry when I dropped her off this morning. All this peace will be shattered at noon when I pick up DD2 and a friend and try taking them both to our mother/toddler art class which is always utter chaos even when it's one mother per child.

DH has a job interview next Weds. He us pinning so much hope and self esteem on it. I am so worried about how he will feel if unsuccessful. I am actually reading all the relevant material so I can quiz him to help him prepare.

Can I start with a proud mummy boast please ladies? I had the first parents evening at pre-school this week and although it's a bit early to say much at all, DD1s teacher did tell me that she gas settled in well and is always happy and polite , which I think are the two basics things I want her to be, anything else is a bonus. So proud of my girl

Hurrah for poo success Jump and well done S

And hurrah for Indith surviving day 1 in sole charge. For the Easter hols, do what I did at half term - ring a Mum and bribe her to bring her children over to entertain your children, with the promise of cuddles with a very cute baby. Having in home entertainers saved my life, and I intend to do it all over again at Easter - although, with all her milk spots DD2 isn't so cute right now and looks like some odd baby/teenager hybrid

We also have very little in the way of other races or nationalities here - I think (hope) my parents brought me up to be open minded and to treat everyone with the same respect, and I intend to try my very best to do the same for the girls. I can't say I'm colour blind though, as I must confess to doing a double take when I see a black or Asian face in our home town, but I don't in larger towns/more diverse communities because I expect it there and would find it strange to be all white

My gran was left handed, but forced to use her right at school - as a result she was completely ambi dextrous. I always loved to watch her using scissors and swapping effortlessly between her hands to get the best angle when cutting material whilst sewing

On handwriting (who's DCs are picking it up at the same - PD?), my teacher friend tells me that straight line letters (such as l or k) are much easier than curly letters (such as e or g), so children with straight letters in their name have a head start apparently

Well done on the weight loss Deids, a stone is marvellous. Could you try a different exercise for now, until the knee heals? On the TT regression, you have my sympathies as we've been there recently, so frustrating. There were some great tips for Jump on here a couple of weeks ago, and I followed a lot of them and they seem to have worked

Trace that is brill news about no wobbles, and about the house too. Hurrah hurrah! Your HV is very very odd. On tooth brushing, I often let DD get on with it herself, which she likes, and on cooperative days I get to brush too. She's probably not dentist approved brushing standard, I reckon she does a better job on her own than I can do when she's not cooperating

On mornings, I've started to do the same as Effie get DD up 10 minutes earlier than I used to, which either gives a bit more time if she's in one of those moods or allows time for playing. However she gets playing time on less than half of the days, so I'm not convinced that the message is sinking in

Where is next on your travel hit list LadyT, after Essex?

Your dress is beautiful Kayz, will you be sharing your wedding pics with us? DP home tomorrow!

Beans should have the keys to your new pad now, hope it is all going smoothly

Like Vag and Aubi, I've had a bit of time off this morning. DH decided yesterday he was going to take a long weekend off work so I got a last minute hair appointment and left DD2 with him for an hour. It was lovely, but I don't know what to do with my hands when I don't have a pram to push!

DP is HOME!!!!

That's really nice to hear about DD, ZJ .

Kayz: how's the wedding prep going? Not too stressed I hope.