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October 2011 - Let the poo obsession begin

999 replies

PenguinArmy · 13/10/2011 10:55

Come chat, moan, boast (by stealth of course), vent, rage, relax, worry and be reassured. Welcome to all the new babies. Stats thread here

OP posts:
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HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 19/11/2011 19:35

Hello All! Hoping everyone is OK. Thanks for the poo info Penguin! Quite interesting as DS2 has rather a lot of green poo at the moment (in fact he has a lot of poo full stop!!)

So glad you had a nice night out Edward. With DS1 I think it took me about 2 months before we got out without him. We went skiing at the snowdome in Manchester. Left DS1 with my Mum. She took him round to the neighbours to visit and tripped up with him on their drive and obviously dropped him. Cue frantic rush to A&E whilst trying to work out the car seat (she ended up just bunging it in the well of the passenger seat). Thankfully all OK - my Mum was more badly injured than DS1. I knew nothing until we came out of the snowdome and I got a signal on my phone!

Well I had an incident similar to Penguin's today (except not in public thankfully). This pm we went to MILs as DSs cousins were there too. DS2 was a bit niggly when we got there so I started feeding him. DS1 was playing with his elder cousin and followed him out of the room when he tripped up. There was then that awful silence before the screaming began. MIL went to pick him up as I rose from the chair with DS2 still attached. Seriously in the 30 secs it had taken to get to him he had a lump the size of a plum on his forehead. Obviously he then wanted me and I had DS2 latched to me! So cue me trying to cuddle both of them. I eventually took the lesser of 2 evils and unlatched DS2 and comforted DS1. Poor DS2 - how would you like it if dinner was served then snatched away. He wasn't amused! MIL did her best but had to resume feeding fairly quickly so poor DS1 had to be otherwise distracted by some cars! (He is fine btw - lump gone down, no obvious side affects. Thankfully it was the forehead and not the side).

And that's what happens when DH goes to the supermarket! God knows what will happen when I eventually spend the whole day with them both (DH has had PL and holiday and my Mum has been down to help). Anyway we are off on the 200 mile journey to my parents tomorrow. So that should be interesting!

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 19/11/2011 20:11

Meant to say that I never managed to decipher DS1's cries and not having much luck with DS2 (hence the 2 hr feed at 3:30 this morining Hmm). So I applaud those of you who can. I just used the tried and tested process of elimination!

EdwardorEricCantDecide · 20/11/2011 13:04

Still can't work out this damn sling! It's the close parent one and I want the breastfeeding position, but just can't do it! I've used the DVD and written instructions and I do it exactly as it says but never seems to work!
Am losing my mind with it!

CheshireDing · 20/11/2011 15:05

I went to a sling meeting on Wednesday edward is it a possibility for you because it really helped me.

My question of the day is (well 2 actually) is DH has been nagging me to go and get P weighed again, the last time was at 2 weeks with mw. I have not bothered because it means going to HV who pissed me off and my theory is P weighs a tonne and has wet and dirty nappies. Am I just being too casual, we have our 6 week check on Tuesday with the GP so I guess she will get weighed anyway then.

Also the last couple of days I have just got a random stabbing pain in my boob at the side, sometimes when she is feeding or sometimes not. I will ask the GP what she thinks it is but that I would check in with you fountain-of-all-knowledge ladies.

Hope everyone is mostly feeling good, if a little sleepy :)

PenguinArmy · 20/11/2011 15:15

(i) advice once they've gained weight is once a month. Look in the red back, somewhere near the back is a weighing schedule.

(ii) not sure, probably a wait and see if other symptoms develop. Stabbing pains are often associated with thrush but if its random and otherwise fine then hopefully it's nothing.

I never got to grips with any slings unless I saw someone in person, so second the sling meet (or BF cafe as often BF slingers are there)

Got some sleep this morning and ILs are now gone :)

OP posts:
PenguinArmy · 20/11/2011 17:30

just done a 1 mile run. My thighs are now punishing me

OP posts:
BB3 · 20/11/2011 18:26

Edward if you put it on 'normally' over both shoulders making sure the material on the side you are feeding is underneath the other and once lo is inside slip the other side over your head and under lo - hope that makes sense!!

I get the girls weighed roughly every 2 weeks and then once they are three months it will be once a month until 6 months then I don't bother.

penguin well done!

mpops · 20/11/2011 19:57

Hi everyone. Just managed to log back in and found the new thread. Lovely to see you all!

I'm here because I need help and some encouragement/hand-holding: I'm going a bit mad with anxiety. It's not PND but I go through phases during the week (especially on Sunday nights, looking at the week ahead) when I feel absolutely useless, a terrible mother. Our DD is 7 weeks on Wednesday, healthy (after a few problems), pretty happy for a newborn, smiling and doing well - but feeding is still a big anxiety for me (we are mix feeding) and whether I'm doing enough for her in general, like playing and helping her to flourish. I'm exhausted and stressy as all hell and feel quite lonely in my anxiety. It's also stopping me from enjoying motherhood as much as I'd like to and I feel stupid because of that. I know I won't get these times back!

What can I do? Anyone's been through this? How do you cope with these feelings of inadequacy?

And what's a typical baby with your baby like?

Thanks for reading! x

mpops · 20/11/2011 20:03

What's a typical DAY with your baby, is what I meant. Gah.

PenguinArmy · 20/11/2011 20:15

It's different now that I have two but I can tell you what I remember them being like with DD

5-6 DD wake up, DD give her a 3oz bottle of EBM, play with her and return normally asleep at 8 when he left for work
8-9 feed and get DD to sleep in bed
8-10/11 sleep once DD had fallen to sleep
11-1 make toast, coffee, get dressed etc. Maybe eat toast warm (most likely not) Reheat coffee at least once (often third time and drink in the afternoon)
1-3:30/4 Go out, NCT coffee group, friends etc.
4-6 Express, get round to eating my lunch sandwich (made by DH the night before) wait impatiently for DH to get in
6-8 DH would do bath and put down to bed. Dinner, I think at this point we were starting to eat together and not in shifts. DH would go to bed 8-9.

With DS and DD at the moment

5-6 wake up, DH takes DS and brings him through for feeds.
7 DD gets up, DH deals with her breakfast
8 I get up
8-10 eventually/manically I get all three dressed (although DH quite often dresses DS), fed (DS at least twice) DD has a slice of toast when I have mine, nappy changes and teeth.
10-1 out, anywhere even if we come home early, I nappy change them and head out again
1:30-3 (hopefully) DD down, take DS to my bed, feed, wind, MN. Occasionally he'll go to sleep but we often have a windy crying session here.
3 Make lunch for me and DD, DS often naps here long enough for some one on one time with DD
3:30-5:30 just get through until DH is home. Lots of books, singing, maybe a 'In the night garden' on the laptop. If DS permits I'll prep some dinner
6 dinner, I do the cooking. If it's an easy meal or reheating then DH does it
DH then baths DD. I then retreat into the bedroom to hold, feed and wind DS. This is our biggest crying session. DH washes up, puts washing up and tidies kitchen. We generally tidy up just before dinner in the front room where DD puts her toys away. DH goes to sleep when it's quiet enough.

I'm hoping DS will outgrow the evening cries at some point and that will let DH go to bed earlier, let me help more with night jobs and also give me and DH a bit of time to ourselves.

OP posts:
Penelope1980 · 20/11/2011 20:32

Hello everyone - haven't been on for a while so just catching up now! A and I have been really busy recently with my mother staying (which was fabulous) and me making the mistake last week of arranging far too many activities and things to do and me getting really tired and slightly burnt out. I try to spend every second day at home as a rule (or in my suburb, so will walk to supermarket or go for a walk or to the lib, but no further) which works really well as it allows me to rest and keep cabin fever at bay. But, I broke my own rule last week, and was reminded of why it's a good idea!

I find I don't really have a typical day but generally A and I will wake up for the final time between 7 - 9am in the morning, and I go to bed at the same time as him between 9 - 10pm. If I go out it's usually between 11 - 2, as that's when he sleeps best in his pram, but it depends. He generally stays awake from about 6pm to bedtime so we play a lot then, which suits DH who always wants to spend time with him when he gets home from work. I shower in the evening now when DH is home as that's easier.

A will wake once or twice in the night, and I actually prefer when he wakes twice at it means he'll stay in bed until about 8 - 9am, whereas when he wakes once he'll get up at 6 - 7am and not go to back down so I end up with less sleep.

Sorry for not popping on for ages then writing such a self centred post!

Penelope1980 · 20/11/2011 20:36

mpops I am sorry to hear you're not feeling OK - I have had touches of feeling like that too. But, what someone said to me which helped, was if you are reflecting on your parenting at all that makes you a good parent as you are trying your best and thinking it through and a bad parent doesn't care.

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 20/11/2011 21:53

Mpops as Penelope said, if you are worrying you are doing fine! I remember thinking the same with DS1. Your DD is only 7 weeks and can barely see you so don't worry about playing/doing things with her. I used to have alittle goal of getting more than 7 hrs of fresh air a week which in winter is no mean feat! At this age they don't need that much stimulation. The fact is everything is new!

My day is typically:

7-8 get up feed DS2 DH feed DS1
8-9 feed DS2 again Hmm
9-11 get out of the house (exciting suoermarket trip or MILs etc)
12-1 feed DS1, put to bed. DS2 probavly been fed twice again by now.
1-3 hopefully both boys asleep.
3-5 feeding DS2. DS1 wake up and me or DH play/take him out to park etc
5-7 let the madness begin. Feeding time for both boys DS 2 generally severak times!
7-8 DS1 bedtime and food time for grown ups
8-11 feed DS2 while watching telly.
11- bed and DS2 feeds

bilblio · 20/11/2011 22:32

mpops I follow Penelopes theory too. If I'm thinking about how I'm parenting I'm doing a far better job than many other parents I see. I have 2 happy, content children DD (4) is bright and people always tell us how lovely she is (even if she can be a pain in the bum with us.) So we must be doing something right.... but I still feel totally inadequate at times and that I'm failing them.

I'm a lot more relaxed with DS, probably because I'm getting a lot more sleep, but I often felt like you describe with DD. I advise getting out a bit, go to some groups and chat to other Mum's. I didn't really make any friends when I took DD out, but getting out seeing people made me feel better.

We don't really have a typical day, not yet, and a lot of it depends on how tired I'm feeling. I started typing out the kind of things we do, but it was getting epic.
In short though Seth is very sleepy during the day as long as he's being held, so I spend a lot of time on the sofa playing on the computer & holding him. If I need to get something done or we go out he's asleep in the sling, or being held by others. His awake time is between 5pm & 11pm feeding a lot so again I'm sat on the sofa playing on the PC. (As I'm doing now.)
If we stay in I get tired at about 1 or 2pm, so I try to nap too then.

I always make sure that I get dressed as soon as I get up. I didn't at first with DD but I realised after a few months it made a huge difference to how my day went... I discovered Flylady... I don't shower then, I just put on tracksuit bottoms, or what I wore the day before. I clean my teeth, wash my face and brush my hair. It takes seconds but it makes me feel presentable and I find I'm much more likely to be productive.
I usually have a shower mid-morning after I've taken DD to school, I've done some cleaning and when I know Seth will be okay for a while. TBH I don't always get showered, but at least I don't feel bad for being in pyjamas all day. :)

EdwardorEricCantDecide · 20/11/2011 22:36

bb3 thanks I seem to be doing it right until I try to put baby in she just looks really awkward and screams. Sad

EdwardorEricCantDecide · 20/11/2011 22:37

How/where would I find out where and when the sling meets are in my area?

PenguinArmy · 20/11/2011 22:40

try typing into google 'sling meet your area'

start with town and then to county or nearest big town if no luck

OP posts:
Bumpsadaisie · 20/11/2011 23:04

Mpops

Is your DD your first - I think she is?

What you're going through is the transition from non parent to parent. It's a massive step to suddenly always be thinking about and responsible for another little person. The feelings of inadequacy are you wondering how you're doing and whether it will be ok. It's a very new thing to adjust to with the added bonus of trying to learn how to feed and sleepless nights!

My DS is 3 weeks and is my second. Of course I have a bit of anxiety - is he gaining weight, am I giving him as many cuddles as DD got at this stage, have I ruined DDs life for ever ... etc etc.

But after 2.5 yrs of being a parent I now know that everything will be fine, I now have experience of umpteen past worries with DD where it all works out ok and I know my DS will be fine too. And I'm used to always having to think about a dependent person by now.

My memory with DD was barely being able to have a shower or make a cuppa, i was so anxious about not being there the instant she woke. Now when it's just me and DS I find I wonder what I was so worried about with Dd. I just don't worry about DS in the way I used to with DD.

It's just a baptism of fire you've got to get through. Your DD will grow and thrive herself - you don't have to actively make it happen. You just need to be warm, kind, loving and responsive and keep her clean warm and fed ! She doesn't need X product, or Y baby class, or X mins of tummy time a day. If she doesn't have loads of baths or you don't bother to change a bodysuit that's got a little bit of sick on it , it doesn't matter!

Chin up lovey! You're doing a great job and you're already the most imp person on your dd's little world.

EdwardorEricCantDecide · 20/11/2011 23:09

Also does anyone else feel like their boobs just don't fill up between feeds anymore?
I need to go a good 4 hours without feeding before I feel any difference so they still feel empty when M goes to feed.

PenguinArmy · 20/11/2011 23:19

mine have been completely soft from 2 weeks this time. Was hoping to have that perkyness for longer

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EdwardorEricCantDecide · 20/11/2011 23:34

Just caught up on thread.
mpopssorry ur not feeling great ATM I agree with others, the fact that ur even worried about it makes u a good parent and shows ur doing ur best. It is something I worry about with dd (dc2 for me) as I basically just feed her and put her down to play with ds.

None the less it's good to hear about everyones typical day it's reassuring to know ur not as lazy/neglectful as u think u are. I do think we are brainwashed a little into the whole baby must go to classes have certain toys, x amount of tummy time conversation/fresh air etc, I'm sure our mothers wouldn't have been given so many "guidelines" and therefore probably didn't worry as much as we do and we all turned out fine.

MamaMaiasaura · 21/11/2011 10:07

Typical day at mo is:

6.30/8.00 ds1 wakes and gets himself breakfasted/dressed etc (he's 11). Ds2 wakes and baby wakes. Feed/change/top and tail and dress baby. Quick shower and dressed for me.
Breakfast ds2 and me and get ds2 dressed.

8-9 ds1 walks to school and ds2 watches tv. Feed baby again a s go to preschool/or pop out.

9-12 home with baby, try to settle her for nap (today I'm still trying at 10 lol) do housework and collect ds2.

12-3 lunch and park/home play/watch more tv/ have visitors etc. feed baby

3-5 ds1 comes home and does homework, dh home just after 4, dinner at 5 feed baby.

5-7 dinner, playtime while clear up from dinner and hoover. Bath time/shower time for everyone except baby, story time and bed for da2, feed baby and get her ready for bed.

7-9 ds1 goes to bed by 9, feed baby/play/chat to baby and ds1. (crying time if it happens)

9-10 baby sleeps on me or is still crying.

10-11 bedtime with baby. Feed to sleep

4am / night feed/change.

I get launch pads done for everyone in evening which helps in mornings alot.

And yay she's asleep now :-)

All kids been poorly, ds1 off school with it. Jessica got temp but not too high. Hate these winter bugs, esp with 4 week old.

MamaMaiasaura · 21/11/2011 10:08

Edward - agree re brainwashing Smile x

CheshireDing · 21/11/2011 10:17

Thanks Penguin, I felt like I was getting a cold yesterday too but feeling better today. Maybe the swig of cider I had from the fridge last night helped Grin. Congratulations on going for a run.

MPops I think I could have written your posting. P will be 7 weeks on Wednesday too and I have recently started worrying that I should be stimulating her and chatting etc. I hear DH in the other room doing things with her such as reading a book and chatting but I am not very good at that. I don?t know why, I love her and everything and she is gorgeous but I sort of feel my role is to keep everyone (baby, dog, cat, DH) alive at the moment, as long as everyone is fed then DH needs to do the progressive things as by the time he comes home I have run around doing everything else. It just seems to have happened like this and I wonder are you trying to be a Supermum? I try and keep the house clean, feed and walk everyone, arrange things, get to our appointments, start our business etc etc. I know though that DH doesn?t care about the clean house and ironing but it?s something I cannot let go of at the moment as it stresses me out to see the fluff Grin.

I think what everyone has said is so true. My Grandma always worked full time and she had 2 children, I am going to ring her actually and ask whether she had the same worries - will report back as I reckon she will say "yes but your Grandad never bothered about anything" :)

Edward try this nct link, put your location in and then there will be some links down the left, even if there is no sling meeting, if you pick ?coffee morning? there should be ladies who you can meet for coffee and will probably know about sling stuff (I reckon anyway)
www.nct.org.uk/branches

CheshireDing · 21/11/2011 10:23

Oh and my day is considerably more "organic" than everyone elses Grin

7am - shower and top and tail P, dressed and out by 8am
8am-9am - dog walk with P in pram
9am - cup of tea (hopefully) whilst feeding, waiting for P to have a sleep (still waiting now at 10.20am)

After this I will try and get some breakfast, but did only manage a Snickers the other day.

Dog will be walked again with pram in the afternoon
Cleaning/washing/emails/appointments etc etc are all done in between running to and from rooms if P cries.

Evening - Another dog walk and top and tail for P or she has a bath with me or DH

10pm - bedtime for everyone, play on internet in bed until P falls asleep

Somewhere in between this I pop her in her chair with toys and music for a bit on and off during the day and we look and play with the hanging toys, I talk to her when holding her and she falls asleep on me spider monkey style.