Dec 08 Ladies - We're fat, we're thin, we're nearly 3 years in!!

[DeidreBarlow]

Sorry for the shocking title - couldn't think of anything else and our babies little people will be 3 in the next few months!

Try to relax and not worry too much Kayz. I know it is scary but bleeding is really common, I had it with both pregnancies. Lots of white light for tom.

Hope all is well Kayz.

Deids: how scary for you all. Hats off to Rubes and family for stepping in with useful advice .

Deids you poor family all of you this is really such a stress. Can we start a get nan home fund. I had a great idea that if she needed a medical escort that I'd quite happily offer my services for free, but then I realised I'm not registered anymore so I don't think I would be allowed to be the escorting nurse. I've escorted lots of post stroke patients when I worked in rural Queensland so I could do it, but I think the airlines need it to be at least a registered nurse and in most cases a medic.

Hey Rubes I have an airline question not serious like Deids but we just bought a cat carrier off a lady here for our little Marshmellow (we gave our last one to the people who took our other cat). The lady had two carriers, one was quite small & too small for our and the lady said she used it to bring her cat over in her hand luggage from Canada! Rubes is that allowed? I thought cats had to go in the hold?

Also the lovely Bisou has started up another group on FB which is private so she can chat to us on there. Get in touch with her on FB to join.

Seriously, an entire day with nothing! Ok I'll break the silence. Have had a tres busy weekend, DH took the boys down to Delft so DS1 could try out a Saturday morning mandarin language class for kids. He loved it, but if we choose there he'll have to wait until next august to start as then is the start of the next course. Then they raced back for swimming lessons. In the meantime I planned to clean the house and have a wander down the street to the shops. But only got as far as half cleaning the house as it was so filthy. Then Sintaklaas and his little black zwarte piets arrived and did there parade of the Hague. Very kindly parading past the end of our street. The boys got home just in time too see the parade and the big man himself. I still find the blacked up Zwarte piets a bit unPC.

Then today we got up early and went to Amsterdam for a little concert that AKs violin teacher had organised for a festival. It was showing the Suzuki children and their abilities to the people who were attending the festival . DS1 & all the kids did so well and it was such a brilliant thing for him to be a part of, he really enjoyed himself. I'm quite ridiculously mummy proud of him, and had a little happy weep at the end. DS2 got into it in the rehearsal and joined in with some good rhythms on his pretend violin but by the time they had to do the performance he was over it. Then we raced back to DH to get DS1 to a birthday party, and while he was there DH & I finished the paving, and we are quite pleased with ourselves. It looks great.

Evening gals. Both the laptops are knackered (two in one week, how can that happen?) so just a quickie from me. I just wanted to say to our DB that I hope your Nan has stabilised and that things take a turn for the up - that sounds incredibly stressful for all concerned. Keep us posted if you can.

Kayz - poor you, was the scan ok? Particularly awful with your DP away, hope you have got good local support.

Rubes, I would love to see you but am conscious of the fact that you are vv busy with the move and all. Where is the new place?

I've got bronchitis and haven't really been well for a week now, it is a massive pain in the bum. We spent yesterday and today clearing my flat and DP's - there's only one carload of stuff left in each now, so not much, and though both need to be decorated/fixed up, we are on the home strait. Barely saw MIL.....

Dad's funeral was supposed to be next Friday, the 18th, but now it's not going to be until the following Friday because a lot of people are dying and it's all v busy. Can you believe that? The following Friday is the 25th and it's O's birthday....so not exactly ideal. I am doing ok but I just feel sad all the time, really, which is only to be expected. ,

Glad to hear DS1 enjoyed his violin thing, Vag. Must go. Love to all. Sorry this is not a very full catch up.

Hi. The scan was fine. Everything is ok and well.

What a relief Kayz. I meant to ask why did you have to have it done privately? I would have thought bleeding would have been enough of a reason for the nhs to scan you?

Vag, the NHS won't scan over a weekend unless it's an emergency. I thought that bleeding while pregnant is an emergency but apparently not. The earliest they would scan me was Friday. It was too much to have to wait a week to find out what was happening.

Oh lovely L, how very painful to have the funeral on O's birthday. I hope that it is as good as it can be and full of hope for the future as well as remembering past good times. A great friend lost her mum just before Christmas and the wait bec of the busy days meant she had to sit til mid Jan before she could say goodbye properly. I do feel for you and am sending so much love and prayers to you and your family right now.

I tried a huge post at 8.15 but the site was offline and so it went inot the ether. Am planning a quieter day at work tomorrow so will try to catch up then. Huge love to everyone.

Morning All

Lady - how hellish to have to wait another week. I'm so sorry for you.

Deids - are you ok? Any news on your Nan today?

Vag - your weekend sounds lovely.

We had DH's sister to stay for the weekend with her little boy. She is the easiest person in the world, so we had a lovely lovely time. Had a dinner party on Saturday night, which was great, but no one left til 1am, so I was knackered. DH went and did a half marathon in the morning then met me at my oldest sister's house for lunch. The one of alcoholic husband. When I arrived at 11.30, they had just got back from a cycle ride and he'd run 5 miles, which I was very impressed with. But then when he got in the house, he had a shower and opened a can of Stella Artois. The GP told him not to start stopping (IYSWIM) until he started rehab. Then he had a huge glass of white wine, then another 4 or 5 of red with lunch. DH arrived and I basically hardly spoke a word for the rest of the day. I couldn't think of a single thing to say to any of them. Found it intensely depressing. I couldn't summon the energy to be chatty. Her daughter is a total sweetie, but her son is a vile little shit who didn't listen to a word any of them said to him. Rank. It's bad to find a 7 year old so dislikeable, but he really is.

Anyway, I was clearly knackered and am coming down with a horrible cold, having not managed to get rid of my previous cough, so am full of snot and went to bed at 8.30 last night and slept til 6.30 this morning!!! Nightnurse is a wonderful thing. Am meant to be going to see Dad tomorrow as the girls are in nursery and I start my job on Weds, but with my cough and cold I think it's best not to go and see him as I don't want to give it to him while he's having chemo. Bugger bugger bugger.

Oh lady that is awful that you have to wait so long for the funeral and then to have it on O's birthday. I'm thinking of you, the wait till the funeral is one of the most unpleasant times and to have to have it dragged out..so painful for you all. Hang in there.

beans I hope you are okay too? Sorry about the cold, its a bugger at this time of year especially with your Dad & his chemo. has he started yet?

Kayz Glad the scan went well for you.

vag Thanks for your kind thoughts about getting Nan home, that was really lovely of you. Fortunately my Auntie (Mum's sister) is a practicing nurse, so she might be able to do it but a the moment it seems a long way off. Nan herself is no different, if anything a little worse. My Dad flies home today on the original flight and said Auntie flies out to be with mum in the morning. Their brother, my uncle, doesn't know anything as he is in the Caribbean and only due home Friday...although I think my cousin was ringing him last night despite all our attempts to talk him out of it. My Uncle cannot get home any sooner and he is just going to have 3 days of feeling rubbish and helpless. When my Grandad had a heart attack several years ago my parents were in Greece and my uncle told me that I was absolutely NOT to tell them, I tried to explain this to my cousin but he was having none of it.

I digress...basically we can't move Nan till her Consultant rules her fit to fly. I doubt if he does this she will be fit for a commercial flight and so then we go down the route of Air Ambulance. Which is frighteningly expensive, but may have to be done.

And although this is the least of our worries Mum used to look after DS 2 days a week when I was at work. My head hurts and I feel so bloody useless, just want everyone home whatever state they may be in

Hello everyone, sorry I've been a bit awol. Wish I could say it's because I was busy integrating into village life but that would be a lie. Everything I've been to so far (music groups, playgroups etc) has been truly terrible and I find myself constantly going back into Brighton, at no small expense on the petrol front. I am a little concerned this may have been A Huge Mistake but we'll see. It's early days so should not get ahead of myself on the eyore front.

Deids what a horrible, worrying situation for all your family to be in. Really hoping you can get some clarity on the flying home front and that your nan is at least comfortable. Sending you lots of love.

Lady that is a cruel coincidence, what a heartbreaker for you . You are doing amazingly to be doing any personals at all, I hope you are getting some RL support and comfort, as well as looking after with your bronchitis. Have you been given any decent drugs for it, at least?

Kayz so glad the scan showed good news, how rubbish you needed to pay for it though .

Beans your sister's H sounds like a prize twat - even if he shouldn't be stopping yet, its not a free pass to get bladdered, especially when things are as they are with family. Sorry you'll not get to see your dad tomorrow- could you have a long phone convo with him instead?

Vag that is so sweet about DS1's concert, and lovely you had such a nice proud mummy moment. Though I'm sure with your fabulous boys there will be many more to come.

Meant to write more but have to go to launderette. Oh, the glamorous life I lead...

Lady I'm so sorry I didn't see your post last night when I refreshed. That is such a long time to wait, it seems quite unfair, don't some religions require burial within 24 hrs, what happens there? I did give me a teeny smile though, there is a funny old story that goes around my family. My grandfather passed away and was buried on my 7th birthday. I remember being quite furious because no one gave me any presents except for my direct family. I was horrified that I saw all my maternal relatives that day yet none gave me a birthday present. I apparently strutted around quite diva-ish at the funeral tea at my nans because I had been snubbed. Meanwhile my almost 4 year old sister walked in on my uncles getting into grandads stash of KB beer (it was a brand in Australia at the time). She loudly announced "that's grandads beer, and he's dead!" My poor uncles all wandered off from the beer stash after that.

Spot I'm sorry the kids stuff has been a bit dire so far. Maybe just ditch it all and go to the pub. I wish I lived near you, we'd have a lovely time. I still think about the chips at that pub.

Kayz that is all a bit yukky, how could they let you worry for a week. That would be just cruel.

Deids, wow that is all such a worry. Thank goodness your aunt is going out there. That cousin sounds like a complete Wally. I do find some people (like my mother) seem to enjoy being the ones who get to convey sad news, like it gives them attention or something and they also enjoy the drama. It sounds like this is what your cousin is doing. Surely it should be up to your parents to tell him either now or when he returns from the Caribbean. Is your nan responsive at all? It's a shame they are not on mainland Europe, you could look at an overland ambulance. Do you know if any charities can help, like 'help the aged'?

Beans your BIL is using the GPs advice as a license to get blattered. Apart from what it is doing to his liver, it must be costing a fortune to keep him in alcohol. Sorry your feeling sick, eso as it has gotten in the way of seeing your dad. Good luck for Wednesday.

Lady I forgot to add I know the bronchitis is a pain, but do try to rest up, if you end up with pneumonia you'll need a lot more time on your back.

Hello Sybilly, how's your hair and the lush kitchen?

Vag - that is a very funny story! A good way to break tension and lighten the grief, I should imagine.

I am feeling much better than I was this morning and am going to go and see Dad in the morning. I have a cough, but I've had that for weeks, and a tiny bit of snot, but nothing major. I doubt I'm catching. I suspect that yesterday evening may have been sheer exhaustion with DDs up in the night the previous week and no early nights for a while. Will see how I feel in the morning and make a decision then. The alternative is staying in London and having a smear test, then a hairdo. Former I would gladly skip. Latter would be nice! But it's easy to rearrange.

New job starts on Weds. Am torn between being pleased that I have something to do apart from the children, and horror that I will actually have to do some (other) work when I really want to be a SAHM! EEK!

Hello everyone,

ladyT Awful you have to wait so long for the funeral and that it is on O's birthday. Could you move her birthday celebrations forward or back a day? I know that sounds odd but she won't know and it might make things easier for you to manage things.

deids Not having your mum around for childcare must be difficult. Could you get friends to help out for a few weeks? Sorry to hear your Nan is not improving.

kayz Great news! Did they say what was causing the bleeding? How many weeks are you now?

spot Settling in a new place is really hard. Have you met anyone who you feel on the same wavelength to you at all? I found inviting people round easier than getting to know people at baby groups. The children are more contained and it makes chatting easier. I targeted people who I thought I'd get on with of course!

beans Oh dear, your BIL sounds a nightmare. When is he going to rehab? Rubbish about the cold but better for your dad to keep bugs away though. A nice long phonecall maybe or Skype?

vag I was taken aback by encountering blacked up Morris Men recently. It seems like something from a bygone age. I like the sound of the parade though.

Hello sybil, hate it when MN eats my post.

Had a very productive day library - read a very funny library book about Dog's bottoms then baking, and painting on tiles for coaster christmas presents. DD1 who is getting increasingly defiant was rather a little treasure today. DD2 is always a little ginger munchkin .

DH is currently putting up insulation in the cellar. He is the world's least practical man and he has been railroaded into doing this job by my dad buying the insulation stuff and dropping it off. I'm secretly proud of him for attempting it. He had to ask me if we had such a thing as a stanley knife! Talking of DH, has anyone's DH or DP been growing a moustache for Movember? DH looks like a sniffy french waiter!

Jolly: I have to report that DH is growing a full beard. I suspect this is a winter project and I won't see his chin until the spring. Thankfully he's keeping it well trimmed and all the ginger bits are now grey.

Lady: sorry you have to wait for the funeral. Keep yourself warm and well rested - the last thing you need right now is a long illness.

Vag: how lovely to hear DS1 in concert .

Deids: thinking of you all.

Beans: that is totally rubbish of your BIL. Some people are just idiots.

Spot: it might take a bit longer to find like minded people but I'm sure you'll get there .

News here: DS1 is finally happy (I think) at school, which is a huge relief. I think part of the problem, besides a change of routine, was doing the classroom based stuff like writing which he finds a bit tricky thanks to being a leftie. He's now much more confident about writing and he can cut out a shape! It seems like massive progress.

Ds2 on the other hand is being a little sod! Lots of whining and stropping. Playgroup this morning to keep him busy and occupied.

OK ladies, I have taken the plunge and joined the 21st century - only 11years too late! I am now on facebook - hurray - and have sent requests to many of you whose names I recognise. My initials are the same as the highest military honour or the 2nd in command at a university. Invis has kindly agreed to be friends. Will anyone else befriend me?

Kayz, could I join the private group please?

Hope everyone having a good day. I am in a builders' nightmare. Lucky, lucky me.

Love to you all.

Effie, all the teachers at DDs' school are doing movember - they look just like the sort of person one would hesitate to leave one's child with. Thank god for no Ofsted inspection and a full range of CRB certificates.

All the men where I used to work are doing it too. It's all for a good cause I know but I can't wait for December. They look like all seedy and perverted!!!

Sybs, yeah I will do. There is also the new one that Bisou just set up that I sent you which is better than the old one.

Can I have the new one from Bisou too please?

What's your builders' nightmare, Sybs? How heinous. I thought you were winging your way to kitchen heaven?

Have been down to see Dad today. Very lovely to see him, but he's very low, as is Mum. Trying to be perky for them, but Dad was saying how he's ok about dying, but he hopes it isn't painful and I just started bawling. And am now. God, it's going to be hell.

Beans I just added you to that one. Sorry about your Dad. I can imagine there will be lots of crying but I guess the thing to do is remember all the fun you've had.

Thanks Kayz. Sorry for that outburst, am under control now. Enjoying masterchef!

Don't you dare apologise!! We are more than happy to listen to your outbursts.

My Dad had another appointment today to find out why he has been collapsing. He has been told his heart and brain are fine. So now he is getting an appointment to a specialist heart hospital to have a tilt test and to get a heart monitor put into his chest.

LadyT I?m so sorry that the funeral has been delayed, it seems cruelly ironic that you were counting your Dad?s blessings that his illness wasn?t drawn out and painful and yet the exact opposite is now happening to his family. My first thoughts on O?s birthday were as Jolly said, celebrate on the Thursday or Saturday and she won?t know the difference, but obviously in years to come you will always have mixed up emotions on that day. Please take care of yourself and make getting over your bronchitis a priority, you sound to have been working too hard on the flats for my liking x

Deids you must feel so helpless, with your dear Nan and Mum so far away. I have all my fingers crossed that they can come home very soon and you can share a big hug

Spot I?m sorry your new village is a bit dire. Are there any ?adult? groups (that sounds rude! but evening things, not toddler groups) where you could meet a different set of people, who then might introduce you to less awful Mums?

Kayz I am pleased to hear that your little bean is thriving in there, and now the worry is passed, how nice to have had a sneak preview

Vaj you are always so busy, having lots of fun with your DH and boys, I am and exhausted hearing about it! I love that you drop Dutch words into your post. And I also loved the tales of you and your sister at your Granddad?s funeral

Beans good luck for tomorrow, hope it is a fun and exciting day for you. And bawl away about your Dad, I would if I were you

Jolly I offer you my DH as a contender for the world?s least practical man. He is banned from DIY in this house, but before he was he put up a shelf, and then sat the spirit level on it ? which promptly slid off

Great to hear that DS1 is happier at school Effie ? I?m impressed that he?s grasping writing and cutting already!

In my news, I?ve managed to get myself a physio appointment for next week, as my back is now so useless that some days I can barely walk and hobble around like some octogenarian. I had a reflexology session yesterday with my friend, who thought it might be that the baby is sitting on my sciatic nerve, hopefully the physio will either confirm this or suggest something else, and then sort it out. The big question is whether to reveal my identity ? he?s been recommended to me by several people and has a great reputation, but he was also my sister?s best friend at nursery school and so used to come round to play at our house quite a lot when he was 3 and 4, doing all the random things that 3 and 4 year olds do. If I remind him of this, will he make me worse, do you think?

Oh, and I?ve been pondering getting DD one of those advent calendars that I fill the pockets/drawers myself and dig out each year. But what do I put in them? Sweets seem a bit unimaginative, and I may as well just get her a choccy calendar from poundland if I?m going to do that. Does anyone else have one of these?

ZJ We have those advent calendars for the boys. They get a little car, balloons(they love balloons), other small toys and sweets in them. So 1st toy, 2nd chocolate coin etc. One day last December they got a note saying we were taking them out.

I must say I never ever would have chosen it myself, XMIL got them and I found it so difficult to find things small enough to fit in the pockets.