CRESH - Crap ham, stinky Brie, gin and lol'ing at birth plan believers

[AlpinePony]

Heeyah.

One of our NCT group got told the same thing by her GP when her baby was 6 weeks old. Luckily she had the sense to ignore it. Ffs what is with these people?

fan I so agree about F1 and get told off for being a kill joy. But I just don't get it! Boring noisy wasteful load of rubbish.

Please send me some ESH vibes for a good nights sleep tonight (I am not hopeful)

Have just spent 45 minutes trying to do waitrose (not ocado you hear) online shop for delivery to our holiday cottage in Devon. Given up. Fucking Waitrose site is shite. I'd rather go to the supermarket.

Little man woke up for unexpected 10pm feed after not having too much bottle at bedtime. Shit myself for a moment when I thought the next round of teething might have kicked in just in time for our holiday. However I've fed, plonked him back in bed, shut the door and he's in there having a disco and singing away right now.

The thought of packing on Friday is doing my nut in. This self catering malarkey is supposed to be easier but I keep thinking - do I need to bring my good pans? i'm seriously turning into hyacinth bucket. Mr Moo has finally relented and gone to docs today to get drugs for chest infection. I think the threat of me going ape next week on our hol finally made him see sense.

I cant believe im 16 weeks on weds, this pregnancy is seriously flying past.

Fanny ow, ow, ow! How you managing with the move preparation? Have you thought about going to an osteo? (I went to mine today because I do a weird walk atm when I'm in a hurry and manage to put a hip out, and she pushes it back. I think I love her!)

Oc-aye epic story. Well done on squeezing her out after all that. The first part sounded just like my labour with TT but she was a bit more obstinate and I won a CS that time round. She had a sore head too.

Bitey your sorry tale highlights why I don't ever go to the HV. They all seem to be stuck in a CC and babyrice rut as far as I can tell. And obsessed about baby weight - too heavy or too light but never just right. I come from the very furthest opposite end of the parenting spectrum to Moo, but both of us can recognise crap HV advice when we see it! A baby that little hasn't got a manipulative bone in it's body. If it is crying, it is because it wants something, whether that be feeding, cuddling or whatever. To say they should just be left to cry till they are sick is verging on child abuse in my mind.

And now, I have to shout this: I PASSED MY MEDICAL! Obviously I pass this every year normally. But since I last had one I have broken my leg and had a baybee. And I discovered I had also been kicked in the knee since my last one. The doctor recorded all the new scars I have. In case he is called to identify me by my scars if I crash He reckons it would be easy with all the scars I have accumulated by now.

HV told me similar actually when Artie was about 8 weeks ? I?d forgotten. We were talking about him not wanting to sleep in his mb, and she told me that when I picked him up if he was crying I was disturbing him and I should just leave him to it. I ignored her, he slept in with us till about 12 weeks and then decided the mb was ok after all thanks.

We were watching videos of him when tiny last night ? how quickly you forget!

box wooooo-hoooooo!! Are your pants all of to get their stichting put in now?

Yay box, well done.

I have decided there must be a new ESH rule: there must be at least one ESH on crutches at any time. See - I can now blame you for my troubles. I never would have put my back out if you hadn't gone and got yourself better, you selfish bitch.

The move - oh fuck is all I can say. If the house is chaos before we start, what chance of a smooth move? Thankfully we have movers coming on Friday to pack, but judging by the last experience of movers doing the packing this means we'll end up with boxes of random stuff all jumbled together, mislabelled, and plonked in the wrong room at the other end. Brilliant.

A local cleaner is coming over here in half an hour to quote for our end of tenancy clean. I am lying here and all I can see is toys and random crumbs all over the carpet, and cheerios spread liberally under the kids' table. She'll probably take one look and run. And we have to clean the house nicely as we know the people who are moving in after us.

Despite all this I am so excited about moving to our new house at last. MrP is all excited talking about the trees we can plant, and getting a wendy house for the kids painted up to look the same as the house, etc. I feel all emotional just thinking about it - we are making a real family home that our kids will remember throughout their lives!

And thankfully my new boss is being really nice about it all. You never know with these things, so that's a relief.

hellloooooooo! I have managed to get a moment to post (If only there was an ESH shorthand).

Fanny admit it. You are only pretending to have a sore back to get out of doing any heavy moving-type stuff. I can see right through your act, me. Good luck with the move. I am vey envious of your new house. We are currently looking for something bigger than our egg carton but everything decent is out of budget/too far away :(

Occie my eyes are watering at your birth story - well done high fives Occie

Moo 16 weeks?! I must still be in the new baby timewarp. I know what you mean about self-catering - I have officially turned into my mother and now go equipped with Flash and wipes when we go on holiday

Box great news on medical front. about the scar-recognition thing. I think mine could I.D. me by mapping the viens on my tits right now.

Bitey how horrible was that HV?! I manage to get past all the shite I hear by reading stuff and then making my own mind up/experimenting till something works. CheeriO doesn't ever sleep in his cot during the day (upstairs, innit? ;)) and has no bother at all with it at night (although it's only been 3 days).

Hurrah boxy!

Fanny, you're talk of family home repulses me. acksherly, I'm looking at moving myself (again!). We have an opportunity to break contract, landlord is making changes to our property, so thought we'd have a scout around. One great place already gone, but I saw another today. Cottage opposite a farm. More rooms inside, but not more space IYSWIM, but it should be warmer and is in a much lower ctax band. It has a log burner, which we both have been wanting. But not sure if that is enough to convince me...

I don't think ladybirds taste nice given bear's expression.

Whereas moss, stones, and dirt apparently taste amazing, according to Clyde.

hello, it is so long since I posted on MN, I have no Threads I'm On anymore.

Roughly catching up...

Good, but tough birth stories, Ocarine and Bitey, well done you!

Ouch, Fanny, poor you. But yah, Box for passing your medical.

We have the IKEA antilop with cushion insert, only just stopped using the Bumbo - just put it on the dinner table when we were eating, never left her alone.

EA is now 1) in her own room, 2) responding well to the latest drugs, 3) about to get a dream feed by bottle to see if we can eliminate one of the two during the night wake ups, 4) an absolute delight during the day, probably due to (2)

You're fucking kidding me . Just wrote a long post & MN ate it. Sorry guys, only time for a summary:

Bitey your HV is shite, I'm shocked;

Fanny your back sounds horrible, hope you're better this morning;

Occs your birth story sounds amaze, if a little on the long side of labour ;

We visited some nurseries, found a lovely one near the beach;

BugBoy has 2 teeth ;

Who's next to lay?

Laters ................

Hello long time disappearoes meds and lozza. Lovely updates!

meds I can't tell you how happy I am to hear such good news about EA. Really, really happy!

I know I'm rubbish at keeping up on here lately, it is seriously something I feel guilty about (FP I know most definitely you were not having a dig ). C- I must try harder. I'm not planning on returning to work until next April / May, but one of the perks is that I will be able to sit behind my desk drinking hot coffee & catching up on here.

Meds this is indeed a wonderful update. I'm so glad that EA is doing well.

I'm dreading BugBoy starting eating insects & dirt. Its inevitable isn't it? My brother used to sit by the back door, roll woodlice into little balls & eat them.

The weather is gorgeous here & Mr Loz has driven to work with the pram in the boot of the car. Twat.

lozz I really wasn't having a go! Do not feel guilty, you daft cow!

My post must have come out all wrong (typical me) as I what I really meant was how nice it is to see you around - whenever and how ever often it suits you. So there.

Hello? Testing testing?

Right, will try again. FP honestly, I didn't think your post was having a go, promise,cross my heart etc etc. I can still blame diffed hormones for feeling guilty about daft things, yes?*

• regardless of everyone's answer I intend to shrug & say "pregnancy hormones" by way of getting away with shite for the next 3 years.

Thanks for the supportive comments and helpful suggestions all, bb and I are going our own way of day time naps wherever he will sleep and nights in hiscot. Just getting him to nap has cheered him right up so we're both pretty happy this morning. Posting on iPod again so not caught up properly but fanny hope your back is improving, the whole scenario sounded hellish!

occers eep! yours is worse than mine! Thank heavens they (as allthe esh baybees I have seen) are so cute

maccers CheeriO?

Love the nn cheeriO. Vey sweet!!

I was clean til I picked MB up from nursery and he's now wiped fruit loaf all over my skirt. They had water play today and he loved it. Loved it so much he drenched himself and he's in different clothes and socks to the ones he went in. Oh and whoever pinched accidentally took MBs coat home has returned it. He also slept for 90 mins there in a cot.

We are now watching BabyTv for a bit before he goes to bed.

I got bitten twice this morning and the little monster darling bloody smiled when I "ow'ed"!

I think shit hv's should be dealt with by firing squad. We never had cot naps either. Still don't at home. He refuses. Screams, yells, tears and general distress. So what's the point??

Well done box! All aboard eh?

This week started out ropey. I was getting divorced. Now I'm not. Let's see what next week brings.

Sorry to anyone I've missed!

Ah Silv I think about divorce about once a week. Sometimes I wonder if I'm a bit weird to be so chilled out about it as a possibility. I have accepted that sometimes we just don't like each other very much and as long as those times are in the minority I think we're fairly normal. I actually told him when we were trying for no2 that we'd have to stick out the hard times (first 18 months in my opinion) and then things would be ok. Speak to me again this time next year ;)

Laurie I think insects and dirt are part of the game. It's the crawling round the floor/park I'll-eat-whatever-i-find bit that I found hard to keep tabs on. Dog poo pellets* anyone?

We had a little mother-son moment earlier - smiling and cooing and gazing into each other's eyes S'alright this mothering lark, isn't it?

hello everyone. [waves] Well obviously my good news is that there's another ESH boy on his way.

Second-timers, I was adamant I didn't need it - but now I wants it and have been offered a top of the range (all the bits & bobs and integrated flashing tinsel) Phil & Ted's double from a friend, so I think I'm going to go for it. Not sure it's 100% necessary, but I want it. And think of all the money I'm going to save by not buying pink dresses!

Great news about your physical box - I suppose even though you know you're in good physical nick there's always the fear they'll discover something odd. Like your willy for instance.

silv :( Divorce? You could move closer to the hoss I suppose.

bitey/laurie/VAG - Aren't these fabulous? Welsh shoes

Mac we smile and gaze into each other's eyes, and then he bites me. Or headbutts me.

Alps my sister loves her Phil and Ted. (Or did, until we found a mouse nest in the bottom of it! I think Cluck has one too - a pram, not a mouse.

What are you trying to say about my physical condition? If I had a willy and 2 baybees I would not be working for a living - I'd be a walking miracle and selling my story to anyone who wanted to know. BTW I now have dates for the simulatorofdoom. I hate that. Still, the person I have been allocated to draw up my training roster is clearly a much more supportive and helpful person than the, ahem, support manager.

Alps excellent news on a second baby boy. Even more excellent are those shoes

Lovely news Alps, congrats on boy no 2.

hurrah for another boy, Alps.

Triffic news on the blue baby Alps.

Yep - I has a P&T, inherited from my sister. Wasn't too sure about it at first which is why we bought a Jane when LC arrived. Anyway, BC loves it in the back & doesn't seem at all bothered that he can't see what's ahead and it has been very useful for festivals, proms in the park and such.

Like Macaroonie the D-word pops up in my head from time to time. Yesterday, for instance.....MrCluck & MrBox colluded and bought a spa day for Xmas for Boxer and I. We arranged to take it yesterday, all booked-up & childcare sorted. MrCluck then decides to go oop north for work - not a problem in itself but when the call came after lunch to say LC had projectiled her lunch over the nursery staff guess who had to drop everything and miss out on a Celestial Pure Indulgence Body Massage .