August 2011 - a place to wAit until the rest graduate !

[MrsVidic]

Hi,
Thought I would start us a postnatal thread. Were still in hospital, here till Tuesday monitoring dd (now named Eva) and giving her the anti biotics. Im missing dd1 loads as I only get to see her at visiting and trying to contain a toddler on the ward is tough.

Hi ladies ive pretty much made the decision today to start weaning willow off the breastfeeding, i find it so tying and relentless, for huge parts of the day/evening i have her feeding on me, i know its supposed to calm down after 4,5,6 weeks but im reading tons of posts of women still in the same situation at 10 - 16 weeks and i cant cope with that, plus shes waking every 2-3 hours in the night for 1-1.5 hours at a time and then im up with the other 2 and im really really feeling it now! aargh i feel so guilty as i have good milk and its working but then another side of me hates it! it actually turns my stomach sometimes when she starts feeding not just the let down thingy, it actually does something in my stomach that makes me feel sick, at least it makes me not eat tons!!!
Im sorry im sort of justifying myself to you all but i suppose i need to get it out.

firawla I am having a similar dilemma regarding Eva- her room is all ready and I really want to see if it helps her sleep but at the same time her room is next to dd1's and I don't want her waking her sister up. On the other hand Dp is sleeping in our other spare room ATM as he cant sleep with Eva in the room as she grunts so much!
never if bfeeding isn't for you don't beat yourself up about it- if you have formula fed previously you'll know which one works for you best. If u haven't then I'd suggest having a try for a few nights to see if you can handle all the making andheating the feeds etc (as u can tell I have no idea on this )

Well Eva had her check last week and is 98th centime for height 75th for weight and is 11lb odd now. She's so interactive and is playing ish with her hanging bears on her chair! We get so many smiles and her eyes constantly follow dd1 who is also besotted!

I am back in the swing fully with running and Eva likes being pushed about for an hour!
I can't believe how much I was fretting about my weight when preg it all fell off with in the first 6 weeks. When does the relaxin go? I need to remember so I don't freak out when my hair falls out lol

never if you feel that you would be happier by not bf then i would just go to the formula, i know they say breast is best and its better to bf but if you are feeling sick thats not good.. apparently there is a condition where you get like morning sickness when you're breastfeeding?! i had never heard of it but someone told me the other day that she had it so maybe you have got that?? but i wouldn't feel too guilty, you have to do what's going to be best for you in the end. with my other 2 i felt really relieved to move onto formula, like a weight had been lifted i was sooo much happier with it so i get how you mean. it's only this time i actually seem to be getting on with it okay, but there is nothing wrong with formula so dont feel too bad

mrsV i dont think she's that likely to wake up your other dd if they are in separate rooms next to each other, hopefully.. mine dont wake up by each other waking up in the next rooms so i would say go for it in that case, especially if it means you get your dp back! lol. for mine i am just more worried about ds1 and 2 sharing a room disrupting each other as ds1 will probably find it hilarious to mess around and bother ds2, unless i put ds2 & 3 together cos ds2 is still in a cot too so cant get out to do much messing around. but hmm.. i dunno!
welldone on loosing all your pregnasncy weight already, wish i could say the same for myself

never I just wanted to say well done for breastfeeding as long as you have - you have done right by your wee one in her early days, well done for persevering with it but if it's impacting on you so severely and you want to stop you shouldn't feel guilty about it, you have to do right by your whole family!

Never - why don't you think about combination feeding rather than dropping the breastfeeding altogether? A couple of my NCT friends are doing that and it is working really well. They still breastfeed at various times in the day but have changed some of the feeds to formula so their boobs get some rest and so someone else can feed. I BF / expressed for my girls until 5 weeks and, by then, was a crying, hideous wreck because I hated it so much. As soon as I stopped I heard all the "it gets easier after 6 weeks" comments and I felt really bad, BUT - if i'd have made it to 6 weeks I probably would have had some kind of break down. Now (at 10 weeks) my girls are thriving on formula and we as a family are SO much happier - we get more done in the day and more sleep over night. In many ways we are so much happier that I wish I could try BF again but obviously I'm all dried up now and, even if I wasn't, I bet it would just be as hideous as it was before.

Sarge - I know what you mean about the smile. I honestly wonder if I am just the worst mother in the world and make my children miserable as they still aren't smiling at 10 weeks (altho are only 5 weeks corrected age so it is ok). But I would love them to smile just so I know that I'm doing something right.

Otherwise we're all good!! The girls are now 9lb and 7lb 8oz. Sophia has horrible refluxy symptoms - very sick, obviously in pain when she eats and only wants to sleep on her tummy - but it seems to be getting a bit better touch wood. Much though it is lovely to have some sunshine - it is too bloody hot!!!! Particularly since Madeleine spent the day today wanting to be carried everywhere ... I was a sweaty betty by the end of the day!!

Oh and, apologies if TMI, but for anyone who has had a CS - how long did you bleed for afterwards? The girls are 10 weeks old today and I've prob only had 3 or 4 days when I HAVEN'T bled since I had them. I thought I had my first proper period last week which then stopped, but I've had more bleeding on and off since then and have quite bad period-type pains this evening. I went back on the pill 2 weeks ago too so I've got the hormones from that raging around my system again. Ugh.

Sarge I know what you mean about the smiling. DD is a little poppet, very alert when she is awake and has a very expressive face but those expressions are currently limited to perplexed brow-wrinkling and fish lips.

Well done MrsV for getting out running. I'm looking forward to getting back into it as well, I still get a little perineal pain in the evening though so I'm not sure my pelvic floor is up to it quite yet. I am only 4.5 weeks postnatal though so hoping that will improve soon and I'm going to ask if it's realistic to get out there soon when i go for my post-natal check.

I am really struggling with the whole sleep deprivation thing, and DD is probably pretty good in terms of what she could be doing. It is not easy to settle her back to sleep at night, I think she is a little windy. It's kind of annoying though because she will settle straight back down at like 8am but 3am is a different story. I was having a pathetic cry this morning because I am just not sure I am cut out for this mum business. It will get better... I know it will, but I am tired. I was having a little fantasy while I was feeding DD in the night, that someone would get me a night in a hotel for a Christmas present - I would check in, read a book for a while, have room service dinner, watch some TV, have a bath and then go to bed and sleep the whole night. Which is definitely going to remain a fantasy! I've always been a bit of a sleep monster though, but I need to get over it :)

Teldi with dd1 dp and I went away over night when she was 3 months old- we had a nice meal then I got drunk off a glass of wine, slept all night and woke up with huge boobs. Dp and I dtd and had to stop half way as my boobs literally started spraying!
Anyway I was so worried about dd1 we left straight after breakfast

mrsstevo yes i think ill go down the lines of mix feed at first and see how it goes, i have tons of milk in the night and all day until around 5pm then they look and feel empty, pretty hideous! so shes having 1 -2 bits of formula in evening before bed and im going to give her 1 mid morn when im most likely to be out and about, thats if i ever get out and about! you sould like you are doing fantastic with your girls and really enjoying them, ive never had a cs but i think with twins you bleed even more, esp if you they had a placenta each.

teladiim v sleep deprived, ive just had a nap with Willow in bed with me which is becoming a bit of a habit, which ds had his nap, Willow is v hard to get down after her 3am or 4 am feed, im usually up feeding, changing, rocking for 1-2 hours and sometimes give up by letting her come in bed, which i really didnt want to get into but its all that works.

I went to bed at 8.40pm last night, i got the other 2 in bed and then settled willow, she woke at 12.50 for a feed and went straight back down, lovely, then she woke at 4.15 and finally went to sleep in bed with me at 5.30, dp got up for work at 5.45am and then ds came bounding in at 6.15am so ive been very grumpy today and had a terrible headache.

dp just rang to say hes going to have to work tonight aswell, so we wont even see him, he says hes having tomorrow off and sat but working Sun but i bet he ends up having to work for it all. i just try to expect nothing from him at the mo, that way i dont feel as let down as normal when he has to work, but it really is coming between us, hopefully it will calm down soon, hes not normally this busy at this time of year, the thing is he has to have an operation in Nov and have a month off, they will manage without him then, but when its me having a baby and needing some support he cant quite say no and peel himself away! that hurts.

im so used to being on my own that when he is here he annoys me!!

Im sorry you are all becoming my agony aunts!! ill stop moaning on now and get on with it!
thanks guys xxx

Oh ladies - you all took words out of my mouth :) it seems like we are experiencing similar things

teladi I could have written this exact sentence DD is a little poppet, very alert when she is awake and has a very expressive face but those expressions are currently limited to perplexed brow-wrinkling and fish lips.

I have had a couple of smiles but only a couple. I too had a pathetic 5.15am cry yesterday.

never Willow is v hard to get down after her 3am or 4 am feed, im usually up feeding, changing, rocking for 1-2 hours and sometimes give up by letting her come in bed, which i really didnt want to get into but its all that works.
I have the exact thing with Grace!!!! She is great and sleeps 11ish through to 3 or 4am but then I am up 1-2 hours with her. Last night I gave in and slept with her on me from about 5.30am only to be woken by DH and DD1 screaming at each other at 7.20am about homework. I am really suffering tonight as a consequence.

Grace has had a very snuffly nose and when the HV rang me yesterday and I said I didn't think she was feeding as well because of it they weighed her. She has only gained 4oz in the past week. As she is looking happy and healthy enough they are not worrying about it and putting it down to the cold. I hope so. I am exclusively BF and it's starting to get easier. (5 weeks old today).

Other question - I keep getting a pain in my tummy - inside, kind of like a knotting tense sensation. DH said it's hunger due to my feeding etc and I guess he could be right as I have been getting it at 4 or 5am as well as late afternoons. I have never felt hunger like this though. I suppose my body is working hard. I gained 1st 12lb by end of PG. I have lost all that and 6lb more in the 5 weeks and I am not watching what I eat at all. I think I have eaten my weight in ginger snaps the last couple of weeks. Do you think it is just hunger pains? I do have my 6 week check next Thurs so will mention to the doctor. Also I have tons and tons of wind, I'm sure I read on here about other BF mums having a lot of wind, it is just a hormone thing then?

Finally I have to sing the praises of a baby carrier, today I could not be arsed taking the pram to town. She was so blissed out today being held in carrier. Had a great long 2-3 hour sleep in it. So - as house is a tip I may try doing a few jobs with it on tomorrow :)

never we are here to listen to the moaning :) especially about DP/DH's and the annoying things they do - it's what keeps us all sane and saves our marriages/relationships

Hey all. Seems we are all going through the same motions together!

Leo normally sleeps from 11pm to 3am, then awake for about an hour for feed and burping, then sleeps to 7am, then more milk, and then sleeps nicely till about 11am. Problem is that DS1 is awake and raring to go from 5.30, and I am anything but! I am knackered :( Leo did sleep through on Monday night from 10.30 to 5.30 without waking, but he was asleep on me the whole night. Problem is now that I know that he can do it, I want him to do it everynight!!

DH is working 6 days a week at the mo, in a job that he hates so it is really taking its toll, and when he is not at work, he just wants/needs to chill. The Xbox is getting far more love and attention at the mo than me, or either of the children :(

M-i-L (who we live with) is being fab with the kids, they both love her even Leo (traitor!!) but I feel under alot of pressure to keep the house spick and span, as she works full time and I am on mat leave, so I get stressy with DS1 when he makes a mess (which being 2 is ALOT of the time)

MrsSteveo I had CS with both sons, after DS1 I bled for 10 days, and didn't get a period for another 3 months after the birth (bliss ) but this time I am STILL bleeding at 7+3 weeks postnatal. The Dr said that this is normal at my postnatal, but I have chosen to go on a progesterone only pill as you take it everyday, so no more periods until we decide to concieve again :)

never & leilandri i sympathise about the dhs, mine is the same never around. works a lot then tends to go out most nights after work, altho luckily he doesnt work weekends at all. annoying tho @ times how he doesnt come home in evenings. with the other 2 he seemed to make a bit more effort to come home, atleast til they were about 2 months or so but this time not really. i dont mind as such.. but would be nice to see him and also hand over the baby for a bit as he has been awake most of the evening most evenings so would b nice to share and not do everything one handed while holding him. especially as im supposed to be packing to move again dno when i am supposed to find time for that if rafiq is up all evening, as i cant do it during day times with the other 2 under my feet... i get what you mean about it hurts that they dont think to peel themselves away to come & help out and be with the baby, i think its just a thoughtless thing tbh, as they know we can cope? cos willow is your 3rd too right so maybe they just take it for granted by now?? although my dh did say yday that he appreciates that i do everything for them by myself, and is proud of me so suppose its easier to overlook them not being around if they do show appreciation, and good job he did because we had power cuts last night & i was trying to get hold of him for ages with no idea where he was and no answer to his phone so i was quite pissed off by that

evie maybe it is just extreme hunger? does it go when you eat, cos then you would know if its that?

Evie baby carriers are brill aren't they? My dp loves ours as dd is really content in there and he is able to look after both while i go on a run.

never both dd's have done the 4-5 am not going back in the Moses. My plan is to do what i did with dd1- when eva starts going from 830- 5 regularly I'll put her in her own room- that seems to sort the problem.
Eva has just slept from 8- 4.45 please let this be the first of many!!!

Dd1 is totally back to normal now and potty trained (without reminding once again) think were going to have a family trip to the zoo and pool today!

sarge what is a miracle blanket?

Hi everyone, gosh lots happening on here since I was last on.

Well just being told I have PND, picking up Anti-D's on monday and got some group councelling stuff happening soon too. Feel better now its getting sorted.

Question for you all - are your babies feeding less because its warm?? All DS is doing is feeding then sleeping, but today he's about 8oz down on his usual intake. He's not crying or anything so im not too worried but I may be if it carries on tomorrow.

Dd is bfed and feeding the same but it's probably diff as breast milk adapts to the weather so will be more liquidy as shell need more to drink iyswim.

sargesaweyes glad Bertie is settleing a bit better, how are you giving the coleif? are you expressing and adding it to the bottle?

winterlover well done on getting some help for the pnd, ive teetered on the edge of it before, or maybe had it and didnt get diagnosed at the time. i think so far im ok this time. keep posting on here for a chat when you need us x

thanks for all the support and advice on my moaning, feelin much better today plus we slept a lot better last night and ive got Willow fast asleep in bed now so its quite strange being downstairs without her huffing and puffing on my shoulder!

winter go off nappies- as long as he's weeing he's ok. If you struggle to tell if he is weeing in the nappy you can put cotton wool in there and you can easily tell from that.

gah - got ready, went up to BF support group which is on every other Monday to find HV gave me the wrong schedule, have to wait til next Monday now.