April 2011 - cake-offing, gin-guzzling, wine-sipping, dreams of sleeping

[fraktious]

Thread 3!!!

Just a quickie, saw this ear thermometer for a bargain price on amazon. If you want to get a thermometer, these are fab

www.amazon.co.uk/Braun-4520-Thermoscan-Ear-Thermometer/dp/B0001D0LMS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1312632836&sr=8-1

Sorry not to namecheck but we too are in the waking every 1.5-2 hours. I'm sooooo tired and H is refusing to nap today.

I cried trying to get H to sleep all four times , I feel like crap.

Added to that I had my first new mums meet up yesterday and I was late, hadn't been able to shower and H screamed loads. The other mums are all so much more sorted than me, they're on schedules, one had her baby self settling at four weeks and they all thought it was bad that I was still feeding H to sleep.

They were all way older than me too and I just wasn't comfortable. I'll persevere but I don't think I'm going to fit in at all.

Anyway, back to H as DP is out watching the rugby. We've been snapping at each other because we're exhausted so I told him to go and get some headspace. No point us both being fed up.

We have that thermometer. Very good :)

So we're in our new flat. Top floor so no mozzies (yay!) but no lift (not so yay). It's weird living behind the wire again - need to get security badges and passes made, even for M!

I am currently cooped up in a family hotel room in Bury trying to get dd and G to sleep. Both are majorly overtired. We thought that it was a good idea in theory to book a last min overnight stay as we were visiting friends.

IT WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA. G is wide awake in the cot sucking his hands and crying. Dd says she is not tired. She has been watching wwf wrestling on tv ( I know , i know totally inappropriate but she had a massive tantrum when I turned over) Big men in pants jumping up and down is the funniest thing ever apparently, well it is when you are nearly 4 years old!

Me and dh have resorted to drinking red wine out of mugs. It's the only way to get through this. lots and lots of , , ......
Not had chance to read through thread but expect I may well end up feeding G in middle of night so may catch up then!

Oh hell Jen that sounds awful! I hope you're all asleep by now!

I spent an hour sitting on the bathroom floor reading DS1 articles from this month's Top Gear magazine while he thought about doing a poo. The fact that he would sit there, let me in there with him and didn't shit on the carpet behind the rocking chair in the living room is a big step forward.

Morning Expressing is boring and lonely, watching sky news about Tottenham riots, not far from me ! Scary ! & DP is still not back from night out. Is it selfish that i get pissed off that he goes out at least once a week to go drinking & hasn't made any adjustments to his life since DI arrived and my life is completely changed but i wouldn't have it any other way. I just miss talking to adults everyday, maternity leave can be a bit lonely when none of your friends have babies

Aussie it isn't selfish at all, I would be upset if DH did it. He didn't though even before we had the boys, I think because he is that much older (38 when we had DS1) he did it all when he was younger.
He has a hobby that involves him doing something every 2-3 months, often at odd times of the day or night. He could in theory do something every week or fortnight, but doesn't because he chooses to be at home with us at the weekends. I wouldn't stand for it any other way, we both wanted to be parents, not just me, but I appreciate it that he makes the right decisions himself without making me be the nagging wife

Ali - oh how your sentence about not shitting behind the rocking chair made me laugh, I feel your pain. Your ds sounds like he's getting there though.

Aussie, I think you know you are not being selfish and you need to speak to your dp about it and come to some sort of compromise. Wrt to missing talking to adults, have you joined/attended any groups? Have a look for details at the local library, HV clinics and have a look at your local branch page on the NCT website. Between them all you should be able to find some activities. Also look up monkey music and jo jingles classes, they are nationwide franchises and there are probably classes near you.

I found with ds1 that I really had to put myself out there and just keep plugging away when we went to groups. It can be hard to infiltrate a new group, but I think if it's something you think you'll enjoy, it's worth having some patience. Don't sit at home feeling lonely, enjoy your time on maternity leave to the max. I always think it is a shame that life with a baby just starts to get more pleasant and easier when most woman have to think about returning to work.

Have you moved onto base Frakk? We want to hear lots of stories of forces wives. Is there rampant wife swapping and swinging? Is there a unspoken competition to bake the best cake when you all get together?

Near us there seems to be a trend to live off base (I live near a couple of large American air force bases), and we have 3 American ladies attending our open house coffee mornings. I think they're heroic woman tbh. They move to another country and then some of their husbands go away on tours for months at a time.

Cycle, I hope you got some sleep last night. I too cry with exhaustion when my babies haven't slept, it's horrible and very lonely in the middle of the night. That mummy group sound like a bunch of arses to me, ignore ignore ignore. If that lady's lo self settled at four weeks old it probably means the baby done it itself and it had nothing to do with her, or she left it to cry. I would personally be sceptical about their tales of routines and bedtimes (believe me, A LOT of people lie), you just need to read this thread to realise that the vast majority of us feed to sleep and just make it all up as we go along!

Sunshine here today - hurrah!

Jen that sounds awful. Glad you told us about it though as just yesterday we were talking about getting a family room when we next visit family but weren't sure how the DS/DD combination would work. Makes me think we would get no sleep!

Aussie not selfish at all. Have you tried telling your DP how you feel? I know I would build up a lot of resentment if that were me and then would explode over the teeny things. You must live near me, if you ever fancy a coffee let me know. The helicopters over Tottenham meant S and I were awake every 2hrs through the night and then from 5-6am it sounded like a helicopter was going to land on our roof. So noisy. Don't rioters have babies too?

Ali that's great that your DS is sitting on the loo. Far preferable to cleaning up little logs off floors. Intrigued by your DH's hobby now .

Caramel and aussie I think I'm near you too (Stoke Newington ) - I can still hear helicopters overhead. If you meet up can I come too?! Have utterly failed to make mum friends so far :(

ILTMI yep we're on base. Remind me to tell you about the competitive dinner party circuit at some point. I've requested that I have Friday afternoons free from teaching so I can prepare....

Cycle - I also had tears of frustration and exhaustion on Friday night. I felt utterly rubbish, the worst that I've felt since P was tiny. You're definitely not alone! We had a slightly better night last night (still not great) but we all got a bit more sleep, so I'm feeling more human today. I've been repeating the MN mantra, this too will pass over and over!

Ali - I think you were right and it might have been teeth that were causing the screaming. Things improved yesterday after a dose of Calpol. God, I can't believe we might have this on and off for the next however many years!

Aussie - Another one here who doesn't think you're being selfish at all. I don't begrudge DH the occasional night out but would be a bit p'eed off if he was out to 4:30am every weekend. Up until now, DH's weekends have revolved around football (watching, playing and socialising) but we had a discussion before DD arrived and he decided to not renew his season ticket this year (a big sacrifice for him!). If he still had it, it would have meant him hardly being around at weekends. I think he realised that the arrival of a baby would mean big changes. Perhaps it's worth sitting down and having a chat with your DP? Things won't be like this forever, so perhaps he could cut down to a big night out every other week or so as a compromise?

Also, is there any chance you could get out for an evening with friends? I had dinner with some friends last weekend and felt like a new woman afterwards. I was only out for a few hours (between the 6.30pm feed and dream feed, with DH being left in charge of bedtime) but it made me feel more like my old self :)

Frak - Ooooh, tell us more. I'm getting a Come Dine With Me vibe...

I'm sitting here watch shite football with DH and DBro, eating the leftovers from yesterdays chocolate fountain. I can't stop, I feel sick, but can stop. What is it about runny chocolate and dipping haribo into it! Addictive! Mum and Dad have taken B out for a walk. I needed a rest, not from B though!

Aussie, I'm with you on the mid night expressing sessions. I caught up on all my recorded TV in those first few weeks. Are you still going ever 2 hours? If you are hats off to you that is tough going!

I have a whole new circle of friends now B is here. A girl I met in hospital had her DS the day after B. She was 5 weeks early, I was 2 weeks late. Chances are we would have never crossed paths otherwise. We now see each other almost every day. And I'm really grateful for it. Our DHs get on really well too.

Our first swimming lesson was meant to be today, but they've cancelled it. boo! And I didn't drink yesterday at my Bday BBQ to avoid being hungover! Double boo :o!

Wow Jen, sounds rubbish.

Thanks for the moral support ladies. Had a good cry this afternoon and told DP how rubbish I felt and he's had H most of the afternoon.

I've been whizzing up and freezing veggie purees. H is getting aggressively foodie and keeps trying to grab our food so I though it was better to be prepared.

Blimey, you're organised Cycle

Baby I cracks us up, he watches us like hawks when we eat and he does a chewing and smacking his lips impression as well. I take this as a good sign and when he's 6mo his first meal will be steak and chips

Can't wait to hear your story Frakk

Uggggh have had two nights from hell with L. We've hit the 16 week sleep regression. I now realise how lucky I have been up till now. Ive had about five hours sleep in 48hours, if that, and when I could have slept last night, when L was asleep, I bloody couldn't get to sleep and just lay there tossing and turning! Please someone who's been through the 16week thing tell me it doesn't last long?!

sassy I think we are hitting the 16 week sleep regression (although j is only 15 weeks). Had two awful nights and wondering what tonight has in store. Await responses to your question eagerly!

Sorry Sassy, B is 14 weeks today and the thought of him regressing scares the living daylights out of me.

I'm still eating the chocolate, I just cant throw it out.

Sassy I went through it with DS1. The first few nights of it were awful, exactly as you are experiencing. Then things did settle a bit, but he was 8 months old and eating a good amount of meat and carbs before he started to go more than 3 hours again. He was almost 18 months old before he then slept through the night.
BUT - several friends had a hideous couple of weeks and then things went back to pretty much how they had been, so it varies massively from one baby to another.

We've been at my grandma's today with some other family. The boys were so well behaved, it was brilliant. DS1 even taking himself off to use his potty and pulling his pants down all by himself - no accidents even though we were in a different house! :)

Thanks for the info Ali although i am really hoping L is one of those that returns to normal after a couple of weeks!!! Good news on your ds and potty training.
Sorry for scaring you Daisy and Lis I hope you both escape the regression. Without tempting fate, L has been asleep since half nine and hasn't woken yet and last night by this time she'd already woken a couple of times.

Still not managed to read through everyones posts. Quick update on crazy night in hotel. Finally got dd to sleep at 11:30. Woken at 3am by shouting and screaming in corridor outside hotel room. Full on argument by a load of totally pissed up people. I think some kind of family wedding party feud. Lay there listening for about 15mins, till I got so fed up I stormed out of the room in my baggy breastfeeding nightie and demanded they shut up. Very drunk woman ran over to me, shouted "just f off you ". DH then sensibly pulled me back into our room and phoned reception. They got security up, and after a load more shouting things quietened down. 15 mins later screaming and shouting started again so phoned reception again. This time police had been called and told couple next door they would be made to leave if they didn't stop shouting. 15mins later woman in corridor starts throwing things at the next door, think it was her shoes, then a glass. Her partner/boyfriend wouldn't let her into the room (can't say I blame him really), yet again we had to phone reception. Police finally chucked them out. Dd and G slept through all this! Then G woke about half an hour later wanting a feed.

He then lay in his cot, farting and blowing raspberries for another 30mins Me and Dh just lay there in fits of laughter as we had totally given up trying to sleep.

In the morning the reception manager apologised and said the police had to chuck out 5 couples from the hotel over night due to random fights. She told us it wasn't normally like something from the wild west. It was all one particular wedding party that just got totally out of hand. God only knows what I must have looked like though storming out of our room looking completely bedraggled in my nightie with a wild glare in my eyes. Dh told me I looked pretty deranged. Anyway now safely back home. Certainly won't be forgetting that night in a hurry. Dd has already asked when we can next stay in a hotel. Can't see it being anytime soon!

Oh Jen :o at you in your nightie shouting like a maddie!! If its anything like my BFing nighties they were lucky you weren't flashing them! I'm glad youand DH saw the funny side of it.

at those people's behaviour, Jen, but at you getting involved (I would have too!), and the giggling. I bet you're hoping for a quiet night tonight.

F's already up for his first feed of the night. This doesn't bode well. I suspect I'll be seeing 1, 3 & 5am, possibly 4 & 6:30 too.

Buck I've not even got T to sleep yet

I have to get the three of us out of the house for 9am tomorrow to take DS1 to a music workshop thing. He will love it, but the chances of him actually having eaten any breakfast before we go are slim to none! He does NOT do mornings!

ok, morning expressing and not feeling so sorry for myself today. DP got back at 5am and made him do loads of housework Sunday as punishment, he isnt normally out so late but it was his brothers bday but yes will talk to him, i think cause he is Irish he thinks its part of his genetic make up to go out drinking once a week but he does have a day off on a weekday which is family day plus Sundays, his dad gets drunk, Friday & Saturdays so guess he takes after him !!

Ali Yes, would be nice if he made the right decision himself, i think thats what annoys me most that he wants to go out instead of be with us and that he cant just go for a couple of hours, he has to be out 6/7hours !

ILTMIMI I do need to get my butt into action to join some baby classes to meet some other mummys, that is going to be my task for this week ! Its just lazyness when day seems to revolve around feeding, changing, pumping, housework & cooking. But i do need to do this 100%

Caramel & Ecuse Yeah lets do that !! How fun, lets meet up for coffee, you guys free next week, hopefully we will have better weather by then. It was sirens galore down our road tonight, but seems quiet now, ive heard theres been trouble all over the place tonight.

Ecuse You are very close to me im Harringay Green Lanes and 10 mins on the 341 to Clissold/Church St which we are always at ! Do you go to any baby classes, i think there are some on Church St, in Clissold Park & also Finsbury Park. Was also going to see if the pool in Stoke Newington has baby swim classes as its my closest.

Frak Wanna hear about thedinner party circuit, my ma and her Rotary group do a moving dinner party thing sometimes, moving to a different house for each course or a different restaurant. Sounds fun !

Star Wow, to your DH giving up his season ticket, very impressed. DP loves his football to but thankfully doesnt have a season ticket, probably cause he prefers to drink in the pub and watch ! Im going to organise a night out with a girlfriend and told DP last night he thought it was a good idea and was very supportive and happy to have DI to himself for an evening !

Lis Yep still on 2 hourly expressing, how long should i keep this up ? Im really getting over it, I do have a 3/4 hour break after this pump and a 3/4hour break before this 3.30am pump. Ive been doing it for a good couple of weeks and get an extra 2/3oz a day but still only pumping about 15oz even with constant pumping. How much did you start out expressing ? Ive ordered some Mothers Milk supplement as Fenagreek doesnt seem to be doing much. Some ladies say they pump like a litre a day. id be happy with 25oz !! Im going to a breastfeeding group thursday as i wonder if their is a feeding problem as DI needs 15/20oz top up on top of BF which seems a lot and makes me think, is she even getting much from BF and if its worth doing, Id like to EBF cause i love it for our closeness and could also stop pumping which is soooo time consuming, will see what happens Thursday.

I have a chocolate fountain too, it is so dangerous, i will literally eat about a kilo of melted chocolate, sometimes just a spoon dipped under and into my gob !! Try it mixed with Baileys !! Yummy

Cycle Do you just boil the veggies before pureeing ? How long does it keep ? I wouldnt mind getting organised too !

SassyHope the sleep sorts itself out, im a nightmare without enough sleep ! DI is 16 weeks next week and im praying her sleep pattern doesnt change, fingers crossed !

Jen Make sure you let us know that hotel so we can all avoid !! Ive visisted neighbours is my BF nightie and barefoot to tell them to keep it down and im on a high st ! Had a few odd stares from the oddballs still up and around.

Ok. back to bed. Hope those starting with bad nights got better !