The CRESH Creche and Spa - What's your excuse for not going back to work?

[Backinthebox]

Liking maternity leave too much? Can't be arsed to go back to your old job? Why not get made redundant, set up a company, have another baybee or even fall off a horse? Anything to spend more time with our little darlings! And it's so naice here - pass the gin!

make sure you have calpol on hand just in case. I think we gave some the evening of the first jabs, but then he was fine for the others.

Yep I picked some up just in case. She's napping on me now. Doesn't seem to want to sleep in bed or basket which I am happy to indulge, bless her.

She slept through til 6 am again last night after dropping off a bit later than normal (after running rings round TB while I was out). And then we both got another 3 hrs in until 10. Don't think we will be that lucky tonight but looks like she is turning into a super sleeper like her mum (good job too or I'd be screwed)

pone meant to say I'm really glad pregnancy is being a bit kinder to you this time round! Have you stopped leaking out of both ends yet?

My CS tip? Arrange for the roof of your house to be taken off and the electricity to be disconnected - you'll have so much to worry about wrt the house, you'll barely notice you've just had a baybee out of you sunroof. Or maybe that's what I did wrong. Who can tell.

Anyway Kim we've never met, but hello anyway, you sound like some kind of ESH sleb.

Huge congrats to moo on the butterdish droppage.

Ooh blimey. That was all a bit horrible. The only disadvantage of having such a chilled baby is that when she does scream her head off you are not at all desensitised :-( hopefully the calpol has sorted her out and she'll sleep it off now. I don't think she actually has a temperature but she was obviously feeling really shitty and nothing else would console her so we gave it her anyway. TB had to have some rescue remedy the woose sensitive soul.

You'll have to do more than overdose on Calpol rock to win the bad mother crown!

Took my hossy out for ride today. Totally luff the nag. Not ridden for three weeks (due to lack of childcare and HI working 24/7) and i'm lucky really as can hop on and no drama, no hi jinks, no bouncing, just the same old, same old. Bloody lucky really. Don't have time to lunge the bejaysus out the hoss to get it rideable so probably not a bad thing that mine is a lazyarsed chilled level headed beastie.

Evenin meds, cos, boo, box. Ooooh, loads been happening it seems!

Sympathy rocket. Mind you, I think Esh's (the really evil ones, that is) have to have chilled babes. Thems the rules. It's a reward for over-thinking the whole kid thing. But Calpol? You know a dab or two of wine on the tongue works a treat too? (Trufact advice I was given on a train by an old biddy who once worked as a health visitor. Cackle.)

And silver - see how long it takes me to post. oh dear. Am watching the Hacking Scandal on the side, you see. I used to dream of having a horse. I had it all planned out. It would live in my parent's garage. But yep. Lack of childcare. Sigh. I had a lady look after Junior for an afternoon a few months ago...

What a lot can happen in the CRESH if I decide to turn my back do some actual parenting for 24 hours!

Welcome back kimdelicious. I hope curly has cleared up the identity mysteries for you!

butterdishmoo Amazing! (But perhaps best if you gloss over the details when informing the BESHes of the conception.) We have just survived the first year of a 21 month gap. My very firm view is the first year with a 'small' gap is the worst, then it becomes easier. Although I obviously have a vested interest in believing this. Seriously, it was very tough at the start, but is becoming brilliant! They play together so well now it breaks my heart.

macaroo My cs advice is much the same as others. Don't try to get up, take lots of painkillers, use the call button whenever you need to pick up your baby, etc. Plus some extras - not sure how long your hair is but if it's longer I suggest plaits or pig tails as I tried a pony tail and couldn't lie my head back flat during the operation. Also, take advantage of the fact that you won't be sweating and screaming for hours to make sure you get a lovely photo with your newborn while you look calm and unruffled. A planned cs an be a very nice thing - still a little bit scary but much calmer than the alternatives.

silv - can I please order myself one of those?

I today's bad mother news: Bonnie fell head over heels the full way down the stairs, tumbling over and over and landing on her head at the bottom. Luckily I am such a slattern that there was a full basket of folded washing on the bottom landing waiting to be put away so she landed in that! I scooped her up and was all ready to run off to the hospital but she squirmed out of my arms and declared that she wanted me to help her with her Thomas sticker book!

MUD WRESTLING!!!!! kIMPUFFFFF!!!! This monkey's gone to heaven

I actually swung by to say 'wooooooo' to honey and also to mention that me n big bro are 17 months apart and were really close growing up. I have LOTS of positive things to say about small age gaps. Would have had one myself if I could.

alps sorry about your arse mate. Sounds rough.

WRT earlier bloke gggrrr-ing... Mine's not perfect but sometimes he's proper ace. And he just decided to book us all in to a nice hotel tomorrow so we can have a nice meal for my birthday and I can get a massage... So he's, y'know, alright I s'pose :)

Glad news on sprout was good rocket-.

Gutted you feeling so shite poopy. and casp. you are both such thoroughly excellent wimminz.

Ok that was all my brain could do so am terribly sorry I didn't manage to 'do' everyone (fnaar)

Alps if you feel so shite then maybe it is twinz? Just a thought and that solves the issue of having 3 under 3.. Honestly, you and moo will be fine with such an age gap. As FP says it is hard but at least bear and babymoo will be walking by the time number 2 comes along! It is the talking and the tantrums at age 2 which are a slight grind. And the over zealous displays of affection towards sibling (sitting on head, standing on torso etc) and the constant demands for attention and not understanding boundaries quite yet, and exploring EVERYTHING and never having them both asleep during the day at the same time...however it is FINE and do-able!

Kim hello. I don't know you but I often get "people you may know" suggestions on FB for you. You are well hot!

Have been to hospital today for physio. Seems lugging round 30kilo+ of children and pram have taken its toll on my shoulder and it is rather fucked. That and always having one child or t'other under my arm. It was nice to lie there and someone massage my back for 10 mins.

FP I like that Bonnie likes Thomas things

Oh and Kim fuck off with your ESH have chilled babies theories wot you 'ave. Although I have got a fairly chilled one this time round...I fucking earnt that after what I went through with mooch

I've had 2 csecs, one was emcs, the other sort of elective-ish but without much notice. Glad to be of service if can answer any qs. TAKE ALL DRUGS AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY.

okes Yeah, Grandma sent two sticker books for the kids. Even though I have told her that Bonnie is crazy for Thomas, she wrote 'Bonnie, you will have to help Clyde with his Thomas stickers.'

So obviously I gave the Thomas book to Bonnie and let Clyde play with the fairies and rainbows one!

Better be careful fanny you might turn him gay. Boo has been talking about her new friend too and asking when we will see you again. She is very excited that you are coming down in Sept. Ooh just remembered, must email you that link for holiday accommodation.

Fanks Ginsters Have a faberoo birthday today. Oh yeah, and bugger with your bloke what does good. I'm with Silv - mine is pretty useless.

Mooma that is wonderful news, well done! I am eagerly awaiting the droid. I say eagerly because we were a bit stupid this month, got carried away. It was actually Amaze - like the sechs used to be before we started trying to breed. I seriously despaired it would ever be like that again.. but still not good. TG has informed me that if I insist on any more children (like he doesn't have something to do with it!) he will most likely have a breakdown and/or leave me. Hmmm, two children and a husband, or three children? What to do.... Actually you could say there is not much difference between the two.

Scorpette if you are lurking, sending you big smooches and face licks. Come back to us!

Grrr I am supposed to be sorting out the house as we holding a party for Boo's 4th birthday on friday, but she is ill and can't go to preschool which means another day goes by where I get feck all done. I was planning to go and buy the party food today (yum, iced gems and party rings and CAKE!) but I can hardly drag her around the supermarket. I suppose I'd better go and clean something.

I went for acupuncture yesterday for the PND. Was bloody lovely! Can't wait to start my course in Sept but I am slightly worried that my brain has turned to mush and I won't be able to learn stuff. Just looking at the diagrams of the body with all the points on brings me out in a cold sweat. How the fuck am I supposed to remember all those, let alone find them?

Anyway, must go and do something productive, someone kick me out of here.

Stinky brie and prosecco for all.

polls Darn! You have discovered my secret plan. I would make a fantastic fag-hag mummy. Think of my lovely son taking me to the opera, and buying me fancy cocktails with his glamourous friends. Don't deny me this!

Pol the supermarket delivery man is your friend here.

I am feeling sorry for myself this morning. I have done a full slip, crash and burn across the bedroom floor by accidently putting my crutch down on some fucking pile of crap on OH's side of the bed. I think it was a coathanger hidden under the bed and just poking out. One minute I'm swinging happily along, next minute I'm slamming firstly my full weight down through my broken ankle as I had no idea where I was going, then I yanked it back up again and fell head first into the fireplace. I'm not supposed to put any weight at all on the broken leg - the doctors gave me warnings of dire consequences like 'lifetime of pain and limping' should any of the surface of the joint move away during the healing process. I'm very about the whole 'shit on the floor' thing - as I mentioned before, I'm not getting anything out, and I can hardly put stuff away either can I? And if I find out who keeps leaving little piles of stuff at the bottom of our very narrow, very steep, twisty-turny stairs with no bannister, I will have to have words.

So I am just going to sit here now thinking ow-fuckity-bollocks-ow, ow-fuckity-bollocks-ow, ow-fuckity-bollocks-ow.

Just read your post in full Pol - you'll be able to learn stuff. Trust me. When I was grounded with TT I used to run the simulator for people to practice and we had some mothers returning from mat leave who were convinced they would not be able to do the return to work course, and they could. When I came to do my own return to work course I got a confidence boost from having seen with my own eyes it could be done. All these people who go on about their brain never returning, mine starts to work much better again once I get out of range of the kids' jamming signals. And their are other good examples here in ESHland - Alps, for example, has managed to keep her razor sharp wit, and knowing Cluck personally she has managed to kill off no more brain cells in childbirth than she has in drinking and, erm, other things.

Shurrup okie! Nope, not MOG twinz!2!!11 - was much sicker last time and only one baybee. Anyway "the timing couldn't be worse" for twinz.

I am very of pol's proper Sechs. I thought maybe when the children were teens but apparently I can aim sooner than that.

Summoned to the stables last night to be told she's giving up, they're selling the yard and given the current market could be anything from 4 months to 5 years. :( I will now need to find somewhere new as am only there due to YO. Gah. :( Not really what I wanted to do as a differ. Small family yard where you get bitched at for leaving a solitary strand of straw? DIY where savings (ha) made get eaten up by petrol? Riding school/livery yard with great facilities but children?

Boxer is right - I've always been this dim

Wonderful, wonderful news MooMummy. Is a challenge whatever the age-gap but also such a joyous thing to have two

Ver jealous of you talk of the sechs Pol - you carry on like that and there's no way that man's gonna walk, baby or no baby!!!

Have replied on the ESHmeet but not clicked as I don't want to lose the link. So many faces & names I don't recognise - who the fuck is everyone?!?!

Yes, also jealous of the proper sechs. Or any sechs at all, for that matter.

Could someone please PM me the when and where of the ESHmeet, just in case I can make it.

It was only the once and won't be happening again soon, unless he buys some condoms and books in his 'snip'. He is the one who doesn't want more baybees, therefore he is the one responsible for precautions right? It would really NOT be ideal to get diffed now, just as I am ready to become a feckless irresponsible student again (what do you mean, i can't?) but it wouldn't be the end of the world. Except for TG, it probably would. Hey ho.

Thanks for the reassurance Box. I am looking forward to using my brain again after 4 years of being just mummy (and part time taker of abuse shop assistant). Ouch to the falling over his stuff. Fecking useless men. So if I later hear of a man bludgeoned to death by his wife wielding a crutch it will be you, right? And when you have sorted him, can you sort out TG too? Actually I shouldn't moan about him, he is doing ok at the moment after the last round of 'nagging'. Hhe has even managed to put his breakfast things In The Dishwasher today.

We also did the sechs at the weekend, first time after the birth and i must admit i had a wee bit of performance anxiety not knowing how the terrain would have been affected iyswim. It was a bit weird using a condom for the first time in about 10 years too but all in all a good effort.

pol I am sure you will have no problem with the course once you get started, luvver. Those synapses will be snapping! Hope droid arrives on time (thats a weird turn about) maybe you could steal one of the BESHes.

boxer think you really need to use those cruches to good effect by applying to the back of OHs head. I have the opposite problem with TB, he keeps tidying stuff to places i cant reach or cant find. I suppose i shouldn't complain.

pone bad news about the stables but I am a bit clueless about hosses so didnt really understand the rest of your post. What a PITA, not really what you need.

clucky my initials are ST and I am chatting with Boo re her staying at mine if that helps?

I have just cried on the phone to Currys (I blame the hormones) :( I have waited a week (a long time to go without a machine with a new born) for a part for the washing machine and the stupid effing engineer ordered the wrong part. They can't get the right one til Tuesday. But Currys have referred me to the manufacturer and I actually spoke to someone who was rather sympathetic and is 'investigating'. (she was probably pleased to talk to someone about something other than exploding fridges) Fingers crossed I get a new machine out of them.

pol Your brain will be absolutely fine, they're not going to drop you in the middle of an advanced anatomy class in week 1! :)

honeymoo Sorry if this is too personal a question, but did you decide whether you're going to elcs or vb after last time?

must get on and have a look for ESHmeet details

alps that is bad news re stables :(