The CRESH spa and creche: we ALL deserve crap ham

[FannyPriceless]

Enter all ye ESHes. We've been Barren, we've been Pregnant - now at last we are Child-Rearing.

• Come share your questionable tips on raising a real live baybee!
• Compete with Cunty to take control of the bad mummy crown!
• Eat crap ham - after all, you deserve it!

don't worry moo, he's clearly not suffered any damage!

I agree on the over the whole week thinking boo. You can't force a balanced diet on an awkward day. Squeaks would happily bloat herself up on just bread if I left her to it. We've started with mixed formula and cows' milk and she doesn't seem to care. And there's no way I am making up extra formula for breakfast cereal.

Apprentice time!

just ran upstairs to check all ok, and realised the monitor had been off half the evening. God, is there no end to my crapness.

Also diet WAS going well but wine intake means I have just opened the Kettle Chips. Fucksticks. I need a chef.

Well, as Clyde turned one exactly a week ago I can tell you what we are doing about food. He is totally on cows milk now. I started doing a mixture of cows milk / formula about a week before his birthday. I decided which was the last carton of formula I would ever buy and when that ran out - that was it!

On food, he is pretty much eating what Bonnie eats. Which is often what we ate the night before. e.g. today they both ate Spanish Risotto (awesome recipe, btw) for their tea. For lunch we made traffic light toast together (it was on Big Cook, Little Cook this morning) but Clyde couldn't wait so he had a freezer meal of whizzed up leftover roast chicken, gravy, carrots and peas plus a rice cake.

Oh, and when we first started food at 6 months Bonnie loved fruit and Clyde hated it. So every baby is diferent.

Fanny you are scaring me, does this mean I cannot continue with my Ellas Kitchen pouches? I may need to actually start COOKING?????? Your meals sound amazing.

Moo last night's meal is what they eat a lot of here, too. Obviously this works better if you are having hearty meat and veg stew, and less well if you eat doner kebab.

As for the breast milk/cows milk/formula thing, I am sticking my fingers in my ears and going 'lalala' about the fact that I return to work in ONE MONTH'S TIME' when I will be spending large amounts of days in forn parts and leaving LG to my mother initially to give him a clue that milk doesn't always come from the booby, and then after a week of tough nana-love our new nanny will be starting. I spent sodding months trying (and failing) to get TT to take a bottle in preparation for going back to work and in the end she had to go cold turkey. I might as well just let LG have a few more happy weeks of boob-produced milk before he gets the shock of his life so far!

LG hates fruit as much as TT loves it, btw.

Congratulations fanny - no longer a danger to children! You must be so proud!

boo that's daft - why on earth is she doing that? 1 meal per night here - if you don't like it, you know where fucking bread & cheese is.

moo Let him eat what he wants. Last time I saw a photo of him, he didn't seem to be in any danger of wasting away. Bear's had strawberries, kiwis, honey, peanuts - even whole nuts which apparently they're not supposed to have until they're 5! [wtf]

Which cunt decided that you can't give whole nuts to a child until they're 5? Christ on a fucking bike. If it starts choking - punch it between the shoulder-blades.

Rastus has peanut butter and jam sandwiches for his supper many nights of the week. Or rumpets and crumbly cheese. Always v popular choices.

Are rumpets with the crusts cut off?

Gave my kid a crap ham sandwich yesterday

they can have cows milk as an occasional drink from 6m, just not as main drink, ie not replacing bm or formula. Artie has had it, but wasn't that interested in it. Other than that, he eats "normal food" not even that cut up any more. He's had everything from curry to fish pie to yorkshire pudding. His fave thing at the moment is satsuma - he does his giddy arms and legs for them. Oh and dairylea sandwiches. The cheese equivalent of crap ham??

I survived my night off. As did Artie and TGO. phew. I did wake up with comedy leaky boobs this morning, and right one somewhat lumpy, think I may have a blocked duct on the way - pump didn't drain it so was doing hand expression in to the hotel sink but still a bit lumpy. Good job it was only 1 night away.

I also woke up with comedy boobs today, as there was a 5 hour stretch of sleep instead of the recent 3 or less. Hooray! It was also a bit lumpy but I think it got drained pretty well by a hungry baby.

Could someone arrange for the rain to stop? Or for my baby to nap in the house? I think we are going to have to go to a shopping centre for our daily constitutionals.

yay for 5 hours of sleep! hopefully the spurt/ regression or whatever it was is over for you muse.

5 hours is lovely! I bet you feel like you could climb a mountain. Or something...

Mr Moo is still in bed. Arrived home last night at 2.30am with boss and an office girl who shared a taxi but passed out. Nice. I had to put her to bed with water and a bucket. Dog went nuts. Men in garden til 3.30am and I went nuts. I deserve a medal on top of that crown I reckon. I even made crumpets and tea this morning.

Oh I didn't get 5 hours, she did 9pm-3am. But not having to wake up an hour after going to bed was bliss. And it gives me hope that we may get back to her 7 hour stretches. I don't mind that happening slowly as an overnight change would be hell on the boobs.

2am! Not 3am.

muser How did it go with your cleaner anyway? I'm so , I'd really like one but fail to see the point. The place needs hoovering on a daily basis and what's the point of getting someone to push the hoover around once a week when I have to do it myself anyway - or, we live on top of a blanket of fur? :(

I cancelled a meeting today because he was being a horror. So far he's slept 1 hour 40 mins.

Cos can you imagine how much fun I had on the 3 day trip with work I went on when TT was a baby and I forgot my breast pump? I ended up at about 3am hand expressing in the loos. Yes, the loos in that place where I work.....

TT lives on crap ham. Tis her favourite food after processed rubber cheese. I am a bit concerned that she might turn into a vegetarian as she keeps telling me 'chickens and fish don't like being eaten' when offered chicken or fish fingers for dinner. I have turkey eggs in the incubator for Christmas dinner, and when she got excited about baby turkey chicks I gently told her not to get too attached to them as they were for eating. She replied that that would make them sad. Yes, but not as sad as not having turkey for Christmas dinner would make me!

Everyone, obviously it is raining. Tomorrow is our school trip, Saturday we are going to a theme park and Sunday is the hunt puppy show. And they are trying to put the roof on our extension. Why on earth would we be wanting any June sunshine for any of that little lot?

LG update - he has mastered crawling in just a couple of days and is now into EVERYTHING. Nothing is safe. This morning I cleared the floor in the living room and went to get him his breakfast, and less than a minute later when I returned he had a whole 2" diameter candle in his mouth.

that must have been fun box. I hope it wasn't when you should have been doing anything vital!

Really box? Those loos? Poor you.

Hurrah for crawling LG, and sleeping KateBob.

Hear, hear medee!

OMGPoniES!1!!1!!!! I have just been contacted by a childminder, closer to home than Squeak's nursery, who involves the kids in animal and food growing activities. She has chickens and pigs and hosses! She even wants to offer them their first pony rides. And she's a former teacher. WIBU to switch childcare if she's willing to work flexibly? (she probably won't )

sounds perfect, CC.

curly I think she's gagging for work tbh and would take anything you could throw at her. She's given up her well paid job in the city and has 6 horses to feed... I'm guessing she didn't win the lottery!