Dec 08 Mums - Introducing our new joiners, TrudyV and Al Fresco...

[Beans33]

Hope this is ok? Thought it was subtle enough for the wider MN and not offensive!!

hello all. thanks for your lovely thoughts and advice. big sobs here, you are all wonderful.Last night she was still awake every hour or so, but at least this time she only cried once and I went to bed shortly after that post so got a few more bits of sleep in. As always, things looking much better in the morning. Must find something cheering to read/view/listen to at night. She's on the mat at the mo seeming to be quite happy after a poo explosion.

trace there's no problem asking that, and yes sometimes I do feel a bit scared so have to leave her to it on her own. There was an infamous incident with dd1 that dh and I still refer to where she wouldn't stop crying in the night, nothing worked and I was holding her, the only thing I could think of to do to express the way I felt was bite the end of the bed that sounds so silly but it was one of those "if I don't do this, I really will throw her out of the window" moments.

It may be time to cough up to our birth doula who does post-natal as well and get her to take E out for a bit. ILs were here for the baptism at the weekend and they take my nephew for two full days and a night every week . My dad loves the girls to bits but is very much a hands off grandparent, he has problems with his legs (polio, bless you vaccination programme for getting rid of this horrible illness) so can't get upstairs very easily and is not keen on the idea of doing anything that involves lifting them (in case he stumbles). It's my birthday next week, have previously asked DH for a soda stream (!!!) but might swap that for a few hours with the lovely Maddie.

The daft thing is, when she's had these few big 2,5 hour naps, that means we know she can go for about 3 or 3.5 hours without feeding, so I'm not sure why the night is such a problem.

Jolly - we were told to stop the vits when she reached the equivalent of full term, so at 1 month. We tried her with a dummy, no dice, and she was sucking her thumbs a few weeks ago but did just what S did and forgot about it. I pondered strapping her hands to her face...

There is a bit of EBM in the freezer in case of emergencies (not sure what I thought these might be!), might see if we can get DH to do a night feed and see how it goes. It's mostly so that I can do choir once in a while and he can do bedtime feeds. In fact in 3 weeks I'm doing my first choir since before Christmas and it's at bedtime, good luck DH [muahahahaa].

oh ladies, you are all so lovely and understanding and we're very lucky on this thread to have each other. We've done the NCT refresher but tbh I wouldn't feel confident about saying these kinds of things to those ladies who all seem to have it very easy (then again there are several with nannies which no doubt helps a bit...).

Thanks RTrudy. That's interesting. I'm going to see how I go but wish I'd tried that pre baby making!
Deids, ds went through a phase (a whole term) of being terrified of swimming and i was ready to give up. In the end I perservered and he suddenly snapped out of it and now loves it. teacher said it's common and no explanation. Just perservere but don't push him iyswim. Weird about the Chinese thing huh. I will let you know how our controlled experiment goes (Rennie at the ready)

JJ hope you are feeling better this morning about things?
Invis I was going to say, can't she check how her dc is on Friday night and then make the decision but I see that's the case now. Bit stupid if she said a flat no several days before.

Have a great day Arti

I'd been meaning to ask thoughts on the following for ages but I think it's sorted now For ages now, dh gets up with ds and then goes to work and locks the back door etc but ds pretty much is downstairs just with the dog until he comes up (sometimes within 5 mins sometimes an hour later) and demands I get up while I'm just either sitting in bed with dd or dozing or watching telly with a coffee. Anyway, i had been wondering if this is safe / wise etc that he is sort of unattended. this morning I heard him playing with the dog as usual, vacuuming (just had it out and was turning it off and on - I would be impressed if he'd managed to do all the floors) but I came down to find my purse on the floor empty of everything and I asked him where all the stuff was and he pointed to the floor board and proudly said "down there mubby, down there" fortunately dh has had the floor boards up several times to feed cables and wires down there etc but he has now gone on to tell me that "everything" is down there God knows what we are going to find later. Fortunately Ocado is coming today as I desperately needed groceries.
Monday with the high winds was a parasol disaster when it snapped off at the table and nearly decapitated me before the heater attached to it nearly came crashing down

SL I knew it would be short lived. DD necked 8 oz at 1130 last night so I smugly stayed up watching some stupid movie thinking I'd get loads of sleep, but she wooke at 330 - not really hungry but a quick sip satisfied her - bugger. Then ds up at 530 bloody hell. he toddles off downstairs and gets his own milk (cup already poured) out of the fridge - is that bad of me too? then he comes back and drinks it in my bed and I get shoved to the middle not so keen on this new routine.

Right sorry was is mainly about me.

crossed JJ - glad things seem brighter. Def try using the expressed milk and if it's a success there's no harm in making it a permanant thing.

did anyone see Dispatchers the other night? Vag do you remember AGES and AGES ago me asking you if Dentists were fairly rubbish in this country or I had just visited a particularly crap one? Well that show answered all my Q's. Basically, the NHS Dental system is screwed up. Know what you are entitled to before your check up. Lady, is someone in your family is a dentist that I could see

Back from swimmimg! He spent 3/4 an hour sat in the corner on one of the steps plaing with his dinosaur, so was about waist deep. seemed happy enough there splashing but wouldnot move! So I dragged him in. He screamed then was okay for a few minutes then screaming again so we returned to the corner. Rubes your instructors comments have given me hope, Will defo keep taking him.

Rubes I often leave DS unattended in front of TV while I shower etc in a morning, I've wondered the same. But like you we make sure doors are locked and if he wants me he comes upstairs. DS also up at 5.45am for past week, tried dropping his nap but it hasn't made the slightest difference, hes just an early riser.

JJ, glad you seem brighter this morning. It can't hurt to try theexpressed and see how she gets on. Whatever makes you happier will be best for all.

Oh forgot to add that DS then screamed for a full 20 minutes when I took him out of the pool screaming "Noooo Harry pool"

Rubes I used to visit an NHS dentist, he was crap, so found another who was good but couldn't afford to practice on the NHS, so i now have a private dentist...there is no consistency to dental care IMO.

Deids, our swimming teacher actually wants me to write my story on their Facebook page becuase she has a lot of other parents experiencing the same thing but they give up. I still haven't done it yet do keep going but just don't push him.
Oh and I'm considering trying the nap dropping thing again - he's knackered by 12 from getting up so early but the problem I have is about 30-45 mins of screaming when he wakes. he won't do anything or let anyone near him except wants me to carry him around and not put him down. I refuse most of the time and he goes balistic. i'm still a bit worried though after the last dropped nap experiment which went horribly wrong with an episode at Mothercare where he drove the Little Tikes coupe out of the store. Might try it again today though since I'm home with no access to money until DH pulls the floorboards

Oh JJ - you poor love. How old is E now? DD2 was a total screamer for me when she was little and the dummy did help. I was really anti them (sorry all dummy users), but it really did seem to help. I reached the point of shouting at her a few times and had to really concentrate on not shaking her. It was just desperate. But we did give her a dummy, which seemed to ease her. I went cold turkey on it when she was 4 months old to give it up and she had 2 nights of screaming and scratching her face, but she hasn't looked back since - and has found her thumb instead!!! Not sure which is worse!!! But it did help. And, irritatingly, it is a phase and it WILL get better, I promise. Have you got anyone who could come and help in the day? Would you be able to get some help in the nights - like a night nanny or something, if you're really desperate? If you could get someone for a couple of nights, they might be able to help you doing sleep training if you wanted to go down that route?

Thinking of you and sending you loads of love.

xx

I missed 2 whole pages of chat - thought I was 2nd to respond to JJ!!!!

Just made Beans inspired mac n cheese for lunch. ds is pumped as the pasta is Thomas tank shaped

Beans (or anyone) do you have any good slow cooker recipes? I've recently bought a slow cooker and it's FAB!

JJ Glad things look better today. I deliberately made myself dispensable at bedtime once DS was five or six months old, so that I was free to take DD to things and generally not be tied to the house for that particularly point of the day. It was the first BF I dropped on a regular basis and it made a real difference, to my mental state if nothing else, and it eased my 'can't be there for DD' guilt a teensy smidge.

Rubes I hurried DS past that Thomas pasta in Msons this morning! He's just developing Thomas-mania, can't believe I have to go through it all again after DD's love of it. Re leaving DS alone, let's just say I wouldn't do it for any length of time not because I'm worried he'd do himself a mischief but because I just wouldn't want to deal with the fallout. I let him wander of in the house all the time, but I wouldn't go off for a shower if he was on the prowl as he's far too nosy and adept at dragging chairs over to strategic places, and he loves the cooker, so he would be a liability left to himself!

hola ladies
I had to work this morning so the ILs have got Phoebe - I'm home now but they're out so I'm all alone They'll be back very soon as P has her ENT appointment this afternoon. I'll let you know how it goes (whether or not you're interested!)
JJ glad things seem a bit brighter this morning. I guess with the anger thing, all that matters is that you're aware and have a 'safety plan', like you do, ie leaving the room or biting the bed! Before I was a mum I couldn't conceive that anyone could shake their own child, but it didn't take me long to change my mind!
Re dentists, mine is an NHS one and she is fabulous She chose to remove my top wisdom teeth while I was preg with dd1, just so I didn't have to pay! She seems to remember all about me and the girls and is just so ace! We're currently debating whether to remove my bottom ones, which aren't even through yet, but are intermittently causing some agro.
Rubs I wouldn't feel happy to leave P alone downstairs, but I suppose it depends on the child and the place. P will climb anything and touch anything, so I often return from having a wee (on the rare occasion that I have a wee on my own!) to find her on the window sill, or in the bath turning the taps on, or in front of the fridge, helping her self to a snack! So P would not be safe in our house. In fact she can even open some of the windows and I'm terrified at the moment that she'll fling herself out.
P is going through an intense 'mummy' phase at the moment too. She wants nme to be carrying her all the time, and wails if I leave the room, even if DH is there playing with her. She follows me everywhere and clings on to me if I don't immediately lift her up. Nursery have said that for the past 2 days she has been getting upset and saying 'want mummy' She doesn't seem unwell. Is anyone else's toddler doing the same?
Vag is dh back? Can you get that ankle checked yet? Stop ignoring it! I actually had an xray of my hand last week - did I already say this? I hurt it in the easter hols and it's still really painful, so the GP sent me for an xray. Not got the results yet.
Where's Nolda? I need you to tell me the 30 day shred is worth it! I've done 6 days on level 1, and decided to move to level 2, but it was so hard and I ended up stoppin before it finished and crying! Such a weed! I can't see any difference yet - is it too soon? (of course it is - I know I won't changs shape in less than a week!). Anyway I couldn't face it yesterday so I went for a run instead, and only managed 10 mins, by which I mean 5 mins run, 1 min walk, 3 mins run, 2 mins pant walk/die. So rubbish!

my top wisdom teeth did need to come out - my dentist didn't do it simply to let me enjoy free treatment!

trace I have an escape artist too - have found DS wobbling on the (downstairs) windowsills once or twice opening the windows, and he'll even climb onto DD's bedpost and stick his head out of her window, but not if I get to him first Hope the ENT appt goes well.

Trace, do let us know how P gets on at the ENT.

I have just been looking at old photos...I am thoroughly depressed at how tanned and slim I was. Oh well cake & a cuppa then

JJ, am v glad to hear you sound a bit brighter today. I know that feeling bad sort of waves in and out but please do rant on here if you need to. I really hope the EBM works out for you, when you try it. DD2 wouldn't take a dummy either, some of them just aren't interested (even ff ones). If you have any friends who can mind the girls, even if it is just for one hour, please please get them to do so. Hope it all turns a corner soon!

Can't wait for the juicy details about the Pres of the US of A, Arti! (I was going to put his initials but then I realised that they are quite unfortunate!)

Rubes, hey, I meant to watch that Despatches prog! And yes, DP's sister is a dentist but Bermuda is a bit far to go, even for mates rates! What was the main thrust of the programme? That NHS dentists aren't much cop? Doesn't surprise me. There is a sort of a routine for doing NHS dentistry which SIL will talk quite cheerfully about - ie, use crap materials and cut corners ...erm, it's all rather depressing. I need to find a dentist, I haven't been for AGES. In fact, I think I will look out that prog on the Channel 4 iPlayer. I also let DD1 mill about on her own in the house (eg when I am in the shower etc) - but what can one do, short of caging them? I hope you find all the bits from your purse. DP is at Guildford Crown on Fri and I am trying to persuade him to drive but he is adamant he is getting the train, otherwise I could have come to see you, if you are around.

DB, I think 7.50 is a great time for a dentist appt. They will be on top of their game at this hour! Also, you get it all over with.

Trudy, I am in total awe of your organisational skills, I have to say. Laminating your instructions? Amazing!

I must just say this about DD1. A neighbour keeps horses in the field at the bottom of the garden. It used to be Dylan, a skewbald, and Harvey, a beautiful grey who was put down a few weeks ago as he had colic. Anyway... there's another one there now. DD1 said yest, "I can see Dylan". I said yes, what do you reckon that new horse is called? And she said "Alan. He's called Alan." ALAN! He can't possibly be called that but I haven't laughed so much at a horse's name since my nephew learned to ride on a pony called Yvonne.

Beans, I have got that contact lens nightmare coming up. Buying enough for a year is a killer. I sympathise.

Right, must must must do stuff. Am going to the house (about 4 or 5 miles away. Two buses, one giant buggy, and about an hour door to door).

X-posted with you Trace, I forgot to refresh. Am v glad to hear SOMEONE'S got a good NHS dentist! That is lovely. And everything crossed for P's appt.

DB - step away from the old photos. Every time I look at an old photo of myself, it makes me feel like jumping off the roof

Apprentice tonight. From the trail it looks as if they might be trying to sell some of that Bare Minerals make up. I've got some. Can't quite make my mind up about it...Nice for hols, I think.

Hello everyone,

Crisis this morning when the electricity went off. Checked with next door and it was just us. Anyway to cut a long story short we are now back on, hurray! DD1 is under the weather though and this morning really did call for Cbeebies. Instead I was drawing pictures of snails playing flutes . What a strange imagination DD has! Also thank goodness for the power cut episode of Peppa Pig as DD understood why nothing worked.

JJ Glad things feel better this morning. If possible try and go for DH doing the 10ish feed so you can go to bed early and have a long stretch of sleep. I think it is the shortage of uninterrupted sleep which drives me to the edge of distraction. Hope DD will take the EBM. I still have a freezer full from the hospital.

Speaking of which, will the EBM be OK when the electricity was off for 5 hours does anyone know?

trace Do let us know how P gets on. I wouldn't trust DD downstairs either as she can help herself to the fridge and generally get into mischief. We also have a cellar now and although it has a lock on it I have the fear that she'll undo it somehow. Maybe P is a little run down or about to come down with something. DD1 tends to get clingy when brewing a bug.

vag That caffine reaction sounded awful. Are you sure it wasn't a virus or something. Also ouch and double ouch on the ankle front.

I'm so excited that arti has met Obama! He looks very well groomed and I bet he smells wonderful.

Northern ladies. How are we getting on with meeting up plans? Did you all get my email? I'm happy to wait till Deids can make it if you all are, or going ahead is ok too!

beans I'm not sure I ever commented on your al fresco poo. I chuckled so hard I almost pulled a muscle.

rubes Your poor purse! At least you are getting a delivery today, phew!

Things are ok here, I lurk lots on my phone but due to having fat fingers cannot type properly on it. DD2 is being quite delightful and has started to smile properly and be interested in things. Her blonde fuzz is going red too. I think she is going to be a little gingersnap. I asked DD1 what colour hair she thought DD2 has and she said 'orange'! That settles it .

Good luck getting to the house ladyT. Yvonne! I used to ride a horse called Flash and DH made it our internet password many moons ago. I had to ring Freeserve about something and the man on the phone gave me a clue that it was action animal related. I.e He thought it was flash the horse, not Flash the horse. How rude!

Well dh has afternoon off so first job was purse contents retrieval he lifted SEVERAL floor boards as ds kindly scattered them across under the dining room instead of depositing down one gap he was even proud telling dh!
Lady the program was talking about the NHS banding system and that EVERYONE who goes for a routine check up (£17) should be offered a scale and polish standard (which I've NEVER found one who does that) instead they always push you to pay for a private hygienist for about £50 also that band 2 covers root canals etc and is under £200 but dentists are claiming all their funding has run out therefore they were refusing to treat patients and in somecases saying it won't get done properly unless they have it done privately which is upwards of £400 plus the crown etc....
It was interesting, so I'm switching dentists and going to turn up armed with all the info
Bummer about Friday - I was going to go to toddler group and thats about it.
By the way Lady are you busy on Jume 13th (Mon) I have to go to Henley to do an inspection and also let a gas man in so would love to meet you for lunch or something if it's not a hassle for you to get there? (I can't remember what train you are on) Otherwise I could see if I could get to Reading (just not sure as they have given me a 2 hour window and they are going to call me
at the horse story! Oh and bare Minerals I swear by that puttymakeup! have used it for ages now. Looking forward to the Apprentice too.

I got ds a new puzzle with Ocado order as I was sick to death of doing the Dora one. he likes it, but straight back to Dora after! Right, gotta go - have promised ds he can help me with some gardening

Oh and yes I agree - depends on the child (leaving unattended) ie Jams ds aka "knife boy" perhaps not ideal! DS not a climber etc [yet] but I've also discovered today that he got my camera and was taking photo's of himself! it was quite funny but he managed to put the camera back where he found it! I realise he might not stay so harmless so I'm not going to risk leaving him for any longer than a shower in future

Criket how many emoticon did I use!! Right, I'm off now....promise.

:)

JB DS was ginger for a few months, having started off very dark, and has now been blond for about 18 months. Hope he stays that way as it's incredibly cute having a green-eyed blondie and not something I expected as DH, DD and I are brunette.

Gneek re dentists - we've just changed. I really liked our old one but old was the word and he was getting less and less available as he sloped off into retirement.

DS nagging me for milk, gotta go.

Deids. We have done no nap. He was on a knife edge all afternoon, but bet he doesn't sleep longer. he has become obsessed with drinking squash. Luckily it's sugar free but I think it's the reason he's waking so early as the last couple of weeks his nappy has been soaked through his PJ's (and he wears TWO at night) 6 mins until 7pm [Phew]
teething hell here with DD so anticipating another crap night, altho will be Neurofening.....

Rubes we went without nap too. He was exhausted and nearly fell asleep having his milk on the sofa. But likewise I doubt we will get any extra sleep. I felt really tired all afternoon too...hopefully I'll stay awake for the Apprentice.

Bisou Hellloooo