Dec 08 Mums - Introducing our new joiners, TrudyV and Al Fresco...

[Beans33]

Hope this is ok? Thought it was subtle enough for the wider MN and not offensive!!

Oh now theres a good idea. An ensuite each.

Rubes sorry it is a bit up in the air. It is difficult when DHs seem to be laid back about stuff. DH does the same here I am always panicing about the end of contracts and saving money for the mortgage and he is out spending it on a new bike. Tis men they are programmed to be only a little concerned about future matters whereas we obsess and worry about it constantly.

Vag that is interesting about DS's and their eyebrows. Poor wee chaps. Love love love the pic of them on FB.

DH is working from home this weekend which is an actual giant PIA! It means every time a phone call comes in we have to be quiet as he insists on working in the kitchen/dining rm/playroom.

SOunds like you had a lovely time at Spots yesterday.

Must crash on oh my life is so boring right now. Mothering, cleaning, laundry gym and repeat as naseum (sp?).

Only 34 sleeps til holiday though whooppeeee

Aargh! Just got a text from my mum who, despite having come down this Tues-Weds, has just set off on a 3 hr drive to come here having got the date that DP is going to a wedding wrong. It's next Sat. . Apart from the serious hassle of having driven 6 hrs for nothing (in a week where she's already spent loads in the car) it does make me a little concerned for her as she's always getting things muddled, lots more than she used to.

Had a lovely meet up yesterday, was so great to see Rubes and PD and their DCs and fnially meet Mom and DS2. Was lovely and I was just sorry my hostessing was somewhat slapdash. And PD, no worries about the al fresco, just made me think of our Beans and how I've never met her!

T up half the night again. Grrr.

Jam, I would be v irritated by not being able to live in my own house at the weekend. Can you go out shopping with the boys and get yourself something nice too?

Hello girls,

Not a very fortuitous start to the day - DP was stomping off to the house after DD1 had woken everybody at 6 by screaming and crying about summat or other, and put him in a bad mood, and I went to upstairs to get another box of stuff for him to take over there and the front door slammed shut behind me and DP had already driven off. It took me ages to rouse a neighbour so I could use their phone to ring him to get him to drive back, and I could hear both girls screaming their heads off indoors, whilst I was trapped outside in pj bottoms and a holey jumper. Grrreat.

It sounds like a lovely meet up yesterday. Glad to hear PD's DD was keeping the thread theme alive

Not going to write TOO much for now as I am already in a grump from being too busy. As for that thread counter, I am pretty sure if it was a word counter rather than a post counter, I'd be way out in front

Sorry about your Mum, Spot, that sounds most unfortunate...

PD - Mesrine films, YES, it was me. They are utterly brilliant, in my view, and so much the better for being about a real person and real events. After I'd seen them I checked the facts as some seemed so far fetched, but apparently not! Meet up Thurs 9th June - in theory, yes, I could do an evening meet up but would have to be on the 2145 train home, like a cut-price Cinderella.

Rubes, sorry it's all up in the air about your DH's plans.../That must be very unsettling. I like having things nailed down as well. And nailing DP to anything is like nailing jelly to the wall. Am so conscious that I haven't managed to do a Reading trip or come to see you, and would love to see you but I think you know that until we move my days are completely stupid!

Vag, no way do you look up the duff. Well, you didn't last summer. Anyway, people who say that sort of stuff are crackers and tactless - supposing (for eg) someone had just had a mc? Interesting about your DSes' eyes - yes, they have both got floorsweeper lashes, haven't they?

JB, sorry to hear you have been ill - really the last thing you could do with at the mo!

Invis - when you said HJ's agent, I was so confused because you'd been talking about Henry James Then I worked out you meant our bearded pal. I think I know who his agent is, actually - his initials are JG. Small world! I know what you mean about Colm Toibin. I think I may have tried him before. There's a certain sort of Irish writing which I find too puddingy. I lump John Banville into this category as well. Unfairly, probably.

Trudy, I was a literary agent for 13 (long) years but my own agent didn't have much luck when he submitted my novel last year So it's on ice at the mo. I will write something else when things calm down a bit, though.

WG, so hugely glad to hear your DH's news. You know my views on the BBC's glutinous commissioning process, I imagine! As for your own career - I would say that it's the wrong time to be putting pressure on yourself about all that.

Lots more people I wanted to say things to but I really must dash orf.

Argh. If we can't buy this house and make it how we want it then I think I'd rather move. At least with renting you can look for what you need I suppose Our letting agent sucks. The wall has fallen down at the front from FROST damage so you can see how long ago that happened! And the owner has still done zilch about it. Probably expecting dh to fix it like he fixes everything else or stalling as he knows we want to buy the house then it will be up to us to fix things Lady, might work on heading out nearer to Henley. Need to keep better tabs on the flat anyway, as I'm managing it and I haven't done an inspection in AGES. That said, we have a brilliant tenant in at the moment so not too worried. DH working in london today. I'm being atotal bitch recently but quite frankly I'm tired. I have lamb shanks in the slow cooker though, and have been cleaning as per usual.

DS has taken to flooding the corner of the garden, and re enacting the muddy puddles episode of Peppa Pig which he watched this morning. He had the hose out, his sandles off and came running in shouting "muppy tuddles muppy tuddles" thanks Peppa and George.

Afternoon,

Rubes it all sounds very frustrating re: your DH and his work situ. I for one couldn't handle all the not knowing what be happening next. It stresses me out if I don't have plans in place.

Vag, That woman needs glasses. Cheeky mare!

JB,hope you are getting your strength up. That bug sounds bad. Take it easy while you recover.

WG, Excellent news on DH commission. And I second what everyone else says about just trying to get for a liitle while to break the day up.

I went out last night with friends. Wasn't too bad but I didn't get in till 2am and DS woke at 6am and was shouting for me. So I am totally shattered. Too old to handle it as well as I used to. But I did drink lots of lovely cocktails, so overall it was worth it

yeah actually after looking on Rightmove there isn't much decent out there. DH says we still should buy here. Reckons we can't really plan cause he doesn't know. I'm just in a bad mood.
Glad you had a nice night Deids. I'm old too. 2am - that's Rockstar stuff

I've learnt something new today, thanks to Vaj queen of the thread - epicanthric, I've never heard that word before, but it's a good word. I keep saying it out loud as I like the sound of it

Wrong colour Rose PD, but I can forgive that as your heart belongs in the North. Next time you're coming up let us know and we'll sort a meet up out. Well done on raising the next generation of al fresco pooers!

Jolly you must be wiped out from a week of d&v. I hope you had help with the littles and got lots of rest? Keep resting, it took me 3 days to get over 12 hours it so you have a lot of recuperation

Jam DH also does that when he's working from home, it drives me nuts. And there are 3 perfectly good days each week when the house is quiet, but he always picks the 2 when we're at home to work and then moans about the noise. Grrr. And his inability to plan anything is another bug bear, so I'd have steam coming out of my ears in your situation Rubes

Your Mum sounds like mine Spot, she has a terrible memory, which I am inheriting. Turning up a week early is something both her and I would do (in fact I went to the hairdressers once 2 weeks early, and it wasn't til I paid they said anything and asked me if I wanted to cancel my appointment in a fortnight )

DH is in the pub, as I went last night. Whenever the toddler group Mums go our DH's insist on going the next night and getting far more ratted than we do, so who knows when he'll be back. I was very civilised last night and left when the 5th pitcher of Pimms was ordered

My boobs are shrinking, it is upsetting me. I don't fill any of my bras anymore. I don't have a clue why, I'm not losing weight and they are small enough anyway, they'll be pre pubescent before I know it. Bof, life is hard

I have to tell you all this amusing anecdote form the Jammy household. This morning DH and I put a DVD on and gave the boys their breakfast in the lounge so we could have some time together upstairs. Anyway we came back downstairs later on to find that DS2 who is randomly potty training himself had eaten his breakfast and used the cereal bowl as an impromptu potty!

Hello my loyal subjects it is I your Queen making an appearance. I'm just popping in quickly as I've only read a couple of posts but just wanted to correct Jam, it wasn't his eyebrows it was his eye lashes, if his eyebrows were long enough to get caught in his eyes he would look quite freakish, though a little cute also. Like one of those scotty dogs, or a highland cow.

Jam that is hilarious!!!

JB sorry its taken so long to recover, are you able to tolerate a normal diet.

ZJ I'm glad I've widened your vocabulary. DH loves medical & nursing terms and loves to use them, however inappropriately. His team have started using the word 'triage' to describe prioritising clients contracts. It's drives me balmy.

We had a lovely weekend camping, found a gorgeous campsite which was a nice foresty walk away from a little river beach. The kids all had a great time swimming in the open water including our friends one year old DD, until I discovered a huge leech in the water. My ankle feels pretty good, its still sore but we did go on an unscheduled long walk (we got lost coming back from the beach), so considering that its pretty good. The only blight on the weekend was that it rained overnight, which itself was ok because the rain actually sounded quite calming & the boys stayed asleep to that noise until 8.30. However, we all decided to pack up & find somewhere for breaky & coffee. But by the time we sat down at a gorgeous cafe bakery in a town called Utrecht I had a raging caffeine headache. Ive had a headache like this before but this was a major withdrawal. I was sweating profusely, my hands were shaking, I felt faint & I vomited, I made it to the loos thankfully. It was just terrible. Has anyone else had such bad caffeine withdrawal. I had a double shot coffee verkeerd & the symptoms got better & I feel fine now. The disappointing thing was the cafe was lovely, the Utrecht canals have little caverns off them where the canal boats could go to a doorway in the wall of the canal & offload stock. This type of canal is unique to Utrecht. This cafe is built in one of these old canal store rooms and had a gorgeous breakfast menu. Unfortunately I felt too seedy to eat.

Right better go bathe these stinky campers.

Great thread title. Can't believe I haven't posted on it yet. Have been lurking. Great title beans .

LadyT that sounds v stressful. I am phobic about locking myself out of the house.

Jam that is v funny story. DD did similar when she was first starting TT. Gross.

Wg the urbane household is v happy about your DH's news. Hope it all goes well.

Your meet up sounds lovely - and can do that June evening if everyone else is up for. I totally failed with sorting out date for summer picnic.

Have taken to my bed today as am feeling pretty grotty. Don't think it's pg related just general bug. Hate losing a day with the DCs at the weekend. And a feeling quite gloomy about work. Am not really proud of what I do any more. Think mat leave will help me to decide. Or not. . Am v interested by conversation about identity after you have children. I know I have profoundly changed and sometimes kick back against that. Is funny working somewhere where they have seen you grow up IYKWIM because to some extent I'm still treated like I was pre-DCs so I have a link back to that. But then not so much when I'm not actually in the pub after work.

Thanks to various things in last 6 months (mcs, my sister's rat bag husband, my uncle dying, v close friend with serious MH issues, horrible ex trying to cause trouble for me at work) am weirdly am in very much counting blessings mode. I think there's a lot in that mindfulness stuff - just being where you are and trying to focus on good. The therapy I had last year really helped me I think. I am definitely loads less anxious. I really hope it helps you Trudy - I found anxiety really crippling, and odd one because I didn't really come across as super-anxious. Was all internal. I did the charles linden method stuff a bit and will happily post you cds if you like. Bit batty but basic point is the same. But now able to feel that there's lots of good in the small stuff. Although when I was suffering from depression or feeling totally lost after having DS I would have cheerfully punched anyone in the face who told me that.

JJ I hope you got some rest this weekend. Is form of torture that kind of sleep deprivation over long period so no wonder you're finding it hard. 2.5 is a pretty challenging age I reckon.

Rubes that would do my head in - not knowing where I will be. I think you're very patient and supportive.

I had something to say to Trace but have forgotten - sorry Trace

PD am really glad to hear new work/house etc is going well at essex girl.

Hope you all had lovely weekends. We had odd day yesterday when could smell gas and got the emergency people round. Quite a lot of faffing later they worked out it was next door whose house was full of gas - gas men had to break in to sort it out. Neighbours are both in their eighties and when they came back were adamant they hadn't left gas on (actually I believe them - they aren't in any way doolally). Probably fault with cooker that gas man sorted. Neighbour's theory is that is might have been one of the people who are after him . Not the first time he has mentioned something in passing, he's definitely been in prison at some point and he is very suspicious of police. God alone knows what kind of gangster life he led. Ahh south east london....

Good evening ma'am . Camping sounds fab. Not so much the leeches though. Blimey, can't say I've ever had anything like that from caffeine withdrawal - a nasty headache is the worst I've had. Are you thinking of cutting down?

Jam Nice. Was it Golden Grahams or Coco Pops?

ZJ I'll be up Friday 1st July and the rest of that weekend. I wouldn't bother arranging something around me though - probably best if you arrange something then let me know and I'll see if I can fit it in with a visit (probably would have to be a Friday or a weekend though, or possibly a Monday if I made it a long weekend).

LadyT would be fab to see you on 9th June if you can make it. Early swerve is no prob. I'm on a work thing which should finish by about 4 so we could do cocktail hour. Anybody else around for an after work drink?

Rubes it was a piece of apple DS was choking on. V impressed by the Heimlich manoeuvre - it's the first time I've ever had to use it and it worked like a dream. Somehow I've never quite believed that any of that first aid stuff will work if I try it.

JB hope you're feeling better.

I made 2 amazing discoveries today: Sainsbury's clothes are massive, and Aldi sell pretend Pimms for £5.99. And that was the news headlines from poisondwarf.

Cross-curtsied with urbs . Glad you can make 9th. Think we should still go for the summer picnic though - I'd be up for it.

PD I meant to say earlier how I giggled at your dds alfresco poo, but also realised the thread title maybe more a prediction given the current trend for TT on the thread & the impending good summer weather. Might need to load up on that faux Pimms so we can all cope with our new alfresco lifestyles.

Speaking of PIMMs the weather has been so good, I'm nearly 2/3rds of the way through my 1liter bottle of Pimms already. I need to come back to the UK to stock up on the cheap stuff. Its tres expensive here and my Aussie friends here who I've introduced to Pimms have become quite partial to getting their five portions of fruit a day, British style.

Urbs sorry to hear your not feeling it in your job lately. How are things in the new role? When budgets are tight it does make job satisfaction lower as your trying to do the best you can but without the resources. You end up not doing anything to your satisfaction, and this is hard when you know what you could achieve with all that should be available.

Trudy I meant to say about your horror FB/paypal story, DH is in IT security & when we first started going out he was quite chastising of my using only one password for ALL of my password needs. So he convinced me to change them so they were all different. The result was I didn't remember any of them so he relented and allowed me to use the same actual word but a couple of different variations so the odd '@' here and a number instead of a letter there. I basically have three different variations and if I forget which one is for which I just try all three. DH is super secure, he routinely changes his passwords and they aren't actual words they are acronyms of nursery rhyme or song lines he likes. He changes them every few months & also rings the bank to say he's lost his credit & debit card every 6 months or so, so he gets a new card number & expiry. All seems a lot of effort. Did paypal reimburse you?

hi ladies
JB you poor thing. Hope you're soon feeling better.
Vag how ridiculous that someone could think you're clackered!!! You have a gorgeous figure. Daft woman (her, not you).
ladyT I can't imagine how scary it must have been, being locked out with the girls indoors - just thinking about it gives me goose pimples. Was it long before dp came back? Oh and I'm so pleased for you that your money has finally arrived.
deids I'm impressed with 2am! I was up till midnight and regret it
I had my friend up for the weekend, which was lovely. She's an old uni friend who now lives in London, and I haven't seen her since before P was born, so it was great to catch up, and the girls did a good job of being cute and lovely I'm tired though, because I had to sleep in with Phoebe, and L sleep in our bed with DH, so that my friend could have L's bed, and consequently I didn't get much sleep. Late night, lots of night waking (as is her norm at the mo ) and then up for the day at 5.50am because she was excited that I was in her room! Then she managed to get out of her cot for the first time, so now I need a gate on her door, otherwise she can easily make her way to our dangerous wooden stairs. eek.
A difficult thing with my friend, is that she's my age (34) and single. She desperately wants a husband and children, but just can't seem to meet a nice guy. She has tried joining all sorts of clubs and groups, tried internet dating, and just hasn't found Mr Right. She's really struggling with it, especially as her brother has just had his first baby, and she fears she's going to end up old and alone. I can't say anything to help though, especially as I have the very things she longs for . So hard. Anyone know any nice, available men?
So...P has come up with a word for a jam sandwich - a "jamwich" - which I think is very funny and also economical with syllables! Has anyone else's dc got any words which are better than the grown up version? In fact I might start a thread on it for a little light entertainment!

here it is Not got any replies yet though

Urbs thank-you, that's really kind. I go back to the doc on Tuesday for the blood results and to look at mindfulness. I'm paying more attention to what triggers me getting tense and am learning a few rather depressing things, and it's all rather me me me. Am taking refuge in I Capture the Castle as much as possible for a break from myself!

Jam yuck! DS often goes off to the potty without me realising and the first I know is when he appears, trousers round ankle, telling me he emptied the potty He's such a little treasure but I'd really rather he left that one to me! I don't think my loos have ever been cleaner ans I'm forever now wiping round, swilling potties with bleach (if they've been particularly unsavoury) and mopping the floor.

vag oww your campness, sounds horrible. I don't have much caffeine as it gives me violently painful tummy cramps. I can get away with one coffee every couple of days but more than that and I'm in so much pain I move about like an old lady and have to shove a hot water bottle down my trousers - dead glam. Yes thank goodness, I did get the money back, but I don't have the kind of bank account that doesn't notice £300 either way so it was a nasty experience. We're in IT too and I know all this stuff which is what makes it all the worse. Your DH's system is a really good one - forgotten pwds are the bane of my life!

JJ I haven't picked up the details of your sleeping problems, but we're having problems too so you have my sympathy. DS at still waking up every night and often twice a night. Last night it was 12.30, 3.30 then up for the day at 6.20 and it's ageing me hideously. I'm never getting more than three hours sleep in a go and I'm falling asleep all over the place. I'm sure that's not helping with general marbles retention. I don't make a big fuss of him in the night, just settle him back to bed with a kiss and a couple of quiet words. From tonight though I'm not going to go in further than the door - I'll stand there and say 'night night' then go. He has a gate across his door and usually as soon as he sees me he heads straight back to bed then I go in and tuck him in. I think I've been making it a bit cosy for him, which is my job after all!, but I need more sleep and this is more or less gradua retreat. After a few days I won't actually go into his room, then I'll just put my head round our door as he can see it - that's the grand plan anyway.

PD glad to hear your first aid skills did the job. I've been on two first aid courses in the last couple of years, all free and run by SureStart, as I'm hoping that knowing I've had the training will take the edge off the hysteria I expect to feel if anything awful happened to anyone in the family.

Lady eek, what a start to the day. We had a couple of locking-out incidents at our last house, one of which I managed to sort out via a death-defying body surf through the bathroom window. Worst bit was everyone's shock that I could squeeze through that little window - huh!

trace will have a look at your thread in a mo, but my dad says 'hamwich'! I love these little words they get mixed up - kids I mean, not parents! Sad for your friend. I have a friend whose husband announced after a few months of marriage that he never wanted children which was the cruellest thing ever as A would have made such a wonderful mother. They've stayed together and being DINKYs have a very nice lifestyle thank you very much, but I always feel slightly bad towards her that I have my babies.

Hi Everyone

Can you guess who I am? Is this even the plural of Asparagus (it was taken in the singular)? Trudi's FB story made me panic that I have too much easily traceable info under both of my old names.

Girls, I am freaked out. I just had a let down reflex and milk came out of my left boob. I have not breastfed for well over a year. I think my hormones are all over the place as I am also really spotty and I have not had a period despite having loads of period pains. All very odd but the milk is oddest. Trace didn't this happen to you? They sent you to the breast clinic didn't they?

I have been lurking and am aware I owe a full catch up but I must try and sleep (if I can, the milk thing has made me really anxious, probably because my Mum died of breast cancer and I am a pessimistic hypochondriac). Will try and practice mindfullness.

Oh Aspara hope you got some sleep. Do go to the GP - IME they are very good at referring you quickly if you're worried about anything to do with breasts. Does sound hormonal though - esp milk.

Asparagi - what a worry for you. Second GP visit.

All well here. Had a generally great weekend. Out on Saturday night to a friend from NCT. Such a laugh. On way home my front tyre on bike got a puncture and DH had to race on to pay babysitter and I had to lug the bike just under a mile home! It was totally flat. Nightmare. So Sunday morning I learnt how to mend puncture. Was so hungover it was very hard work!

Wow, Queen Vag - you are truly the royal throne holder. Rubes - you're a bit like the heir apparent....

I can't remember if I told you about a friend who came to stay a few weeks ago and royally offended DH. After she left, I never heard a squeak of thanks from her for putting her, her husband and her DD up for a couple of nights. She texted me yesterday asking if she could come and stay this weekend coming on Friday or Saturday nights. DH is away, and I'm quite keen to have a night to myself on Friday and on Saturday I'm off and away, so have said she can stay on Saturday night, but would have to arrive by 11am for me to give her the keys. If she's staying, she can damn well fit in with my plans!! Mean me.

Pretty sure we've got potty training taped now. DD1 tends to do a wee in her pants every day, but poos are always in the potty. In fact, she did one in the travel potty yesterday in Debenhams. Which was nice. Not al fresco. I had to sort of stand guard!!!

Trace - I've got lots of friends in same position as yours. It's really tough as they envy us what we've got, but I often envy them what they've got - ie freedom. If, however, given the choice, I would always choose to be married with children, so I feel bad telling them to make the most of their freedom while they can. And still I'm a dreaded smug married off the dreaded Bridget Jones. Because I wouldn't swap and I am glad to be in my position. But I've got a single friend who is 36 and is endlessly upbeat, despite wishing she was married. Her philosophy is that she isn't married and so she has to get on with it and enjoy her life as there's no point in feeling miserable about something she might not have. It's so refreshing as there's lots of people who aren't that upbeat about it. And I totally understand why not. It's really hard.

Meet up sounds lovely. I am keen to come to Brighton soon, Spot - just need to find a good date to do it!

PS Lady - locking myself out is my idea of hell. You are very brave!

PPS Rubes - DD1 also mad on muddy puddles a la Peppa and calls them "Muddy Cuddles"!!

Where is everyone? I've been to shops to buy leggings for DD1 and noone been on since! 4 in a row from me. EEEEK! I don't know about anyone else, but I find leggings marvellous for the old potty training! So easy for her to pull down!