Dec 08 Mums - Introducing our new joiners, TrudyV and Al Fresco...

[Beans33]

Hope this is ok? Thought it was subtle enough for the wider MN and not offensive!!

That sounds a lovely evening lady! V jealous of your glam sounding lifestyle. Love that dd1 is saying the h word - ds still doesnt say it with or without pinteresque pauses and requests for cake! I hope he gets an appetite soon - I read somewhere they get more of an appetite at 3. My dd also like your dd2, such a pleasure.
Spot I like the sound of the new house. 25 mins to Brighton not so bad. Is there a pub in the village. Sorry things are still hard. I reckon sitting up age will get better too so 6 months or a bit more.

Arti your holiday sounded great!

Ds started doing lots of wees in potty so think he will be ready soon. I just hope he doesn't rip his nappy off and insist on going for it himself before holiday or during!

Rubes or anyone do you know if you can take chocolates as pressies into Canada? Oh also rubes thinking of doing the old cabbage soup thing before hols - 10 days away as want to lose a few lbs before hols at the last min. Do you have to have cabbage soup for breakfast?!?

I am glad you had a fab evening Lady. Re the reading/writing, I think it's fine and good to play literacy games from v young as long as the child enjoys them and doesn't feel any pressure. DD1 enjoyed learning her letters at about 2.5/3 but then lost all interest for a while so I left it. Now she is coming up to 5 and withdraws all effort if she senses pressure but will often sit quietly writing letters to her imaginary friends. As long as it's on her own terms.

We received some hugely sad news this morning. Our good friends, who we match made seven years ago, and who DH was best man for, are divorcing. It turns out he had an affair and they have tried to get past it but can't. I so sad for her and so very cross with him. Having an affair shows such a lack of respect. I understand people can fall in love without meaning to, but if your existing partner means a jot to you then you talk to them about it, and finish with them, and then act on your feelings. To commit your life to someone and four years later to ignore all those vows and sentiments and betray the whole life you have built together, that is just bastard behaviour. My poor lovely friend is now 39, separated, childless (he didn't want children and as she wasn't 100% sure she agreed not to push it). He has shat on the life of the person he professed to care most for.

Sorry, rant over, but affairs really upset me.

Spot, so sorry you are finding B so hard. Having two will become fun when one isn't crying all the time and sadly for you that seems to be coming later than it does for most. You are doing brilliantly in v hard circumstances. You really are. I don't know Plumpton but it sounds pretty. Are you confident you won't miss the stimulation of Brighton like you did London? I mean is country living an active choice or a surprise brought about by the discovery of a nice house?

Oh yes also meant to say about the writing I am sure you would know if your dd wasn't interested lady...dh sometimes tries to teach ds letters and he listens for about 30 secs and currently knows s is for snake thats it! Count yourself lucky as if you had my ds you'd spend all day playing trains or being berated for not playing trains.
Arti sorry about your friends. That is very sad news. None of my close friends have split up. Hope they don't but I guess statistically it's likely sooner or later.
On the crackers family front my family is very normal and happy. I love my brother and parents. And my sil too though her family have more crackers elements! I think that's why I have less tolerance over grouchy mil! Though I am trying.

Sorry not back since losing that post. It was long with lots of tips for you SL I will try and remember some but the main points were take as LITTLE as possible even with your checked luggage. Trunki's are good (we have two) but I don't think ds was old enough and dd clearly wasn't. They are currently still sitting in San Diego where I abandoned them after leg 1 of our mahoosive trip I piled all dd and ds's clothes in with mine. I travel quite light in reality but still took too much stuff, mainly because i was going somewhere a bit chilly still and then uber hot so had to have all ranges of clothes. We used to take car seats but now hire them as I find massively annoying (despite having a car seat travel bag. Plus when we arrived at my bro's he still had one which was ds's age we could use, but in NZ and the US we hired ds's and took dd's - next time hiring both. On the plane try hard to get the baby bassinet on the bulk head wall - massive difference to your flight - sadly dd will be too long for it on our next trip. Also, depending on your airline, some basinets are approved to leave the baby in for turbulance and when the seatbelt sign goes on (Virgin for eg) but some others you have to remove baby everytime the sb sign is on (major pita) and for ds very good idea to have little toys he hasn't seen before to pull out at various intervals - something he is into. Luckily for us it was matchbox cars and they are small, however setting up a train track down the aisle won't go over too well I had both of them sick at one time or another (on different flights luckily) but dd was quite ill with nappy rash etc and I changed her 8 times on a 10 hour flight - this was unusual obviously but just to be sure plenty of nappies and wipes as depending on the airline some (most) won't have many spares (if any) except Cathay Pacific they are FAB for kids.
Hmm can't remember what else I wrote. crew will heat up bottles etc by sitting it in a jug of boiling water (no microwaves) so don't be scared to ask.
OK back in a bit -

SL chocs should be fine - just declare on your way in.
No limit to baby food on the plane however if it's open they will make you try it (dh once had to taste expressed BM ) and then very loudly said "mmm you taste good" [mortified]
if your dd will take any bottle teat, those throw away one time use ones are brilliant as you just lighten your load on the way!

Beans glad you had a nice time. Your Dad sounds like such a lovely man. Your sister sounds like she has her own set of issues though perhaps she's jealous of you, perhaps she's just unhappy with her own life so has become a total bitch. I agree families are complicated. i hope your dad is back to his usual self in no time.

Avo so sorry about your friends. What a prick. I have first hand experience at divorce after affair and lies and it's not nice. Glad you had a nice time in Devon

Vag great news on the TT and the ds2 checks. When is your trip to France again?

Lady Crikey I feel like we have so much catching up to do! House sounds pretty much there. Will get back to you about Monday if you are still free? is anyone else in the general area to meet?

RE evening meet up London - 2 weeks on if still a Thurs puts me in the same boat as DH has on calls pretty much every other Thurs (plus the rest But don't plan around me

WEll done to all the other TT pro's. I'm not attempting until he volunteers - I've worked out how ds operates now The other day he pointed to the attached toddler potty seat on the loo and said "little boy toilet seat"

My credit Cards have been retrieved for the second time from under the floor boards he told me this time he had put them "everywhere" but turns out he hadn't and dh only needed to lift one board. Must remember to put purse away at night. Worst part was I said "oh Shit" when I saw my purse open on the floor so he then said "Oh shit naighty word mummy" for the next 20 mins solidly on repeat I really must watch my language.

Again I had more. Will try to remember

Spot ahh so you went with the one in Plumpton Green. Great news. Yes does it have a pub? That's all you need, pub and a shop

I've been going mad on eBay again and sold baby stuff my Bumbo went for more, way more than you can buy it new online if you shop around! [odd] some people just don't do their research!

Oh me again. For Summer again! SL Cabbage soup Diet - Of the recent time I did it I didn't follow it as you are suppose to (ie I really only replace one meal with the soup) but if you follow the actual plan HERE It's not all cabbage soup! RECIPE

Rubes you are awesome thanks! Don't forget we have just the one flight and then hire car no flight transfers or anything so hoping the pain will be worth it!

oh one last thing Summer. Don't click on the download thing as I suspect you will just get loads of crap emails etc which you don't need. You can google this diet anyway and there are a million recipes out there but the plan is the same.

oh hi SL! Well yes much easier just one flight, but remember the transfers to the hire car etc is usually a bus and all that - on it goes. But if you are stopping in one place it won't be as painful. I just HATE carrying too much crap - even with a trolley. Remember you and DH will have to have a child each - how do people do it with 3???? perhaps they don't Even if the kids can walk they are knackered and don't want to! I had dd in the bjorn and also my lightweight Buggy at the door of the plane for ds. Eek she'll soon be too big for the Bjorn though.

Enjoyed the travel tips, they are deffo filed away for future use. Yes Rubes, still free on Mon for Reading/Henley if we can work it. Would be great to see you.

Other meet up - actually, though I love a Thurs night out, DP is pretty much guaranteed to be working the next day as Fridays always busy in the courts, so slim to no chance of me being able to stay over. So another night would be good BUT I think PD suggested Thurs nights as good for her? Am happy to do any night really...obviously a Friday night would normally mean I could deffo stay over. PD?

Arti, so sorry to hear about your friend. She must be heartbroken. Not trivialising it but been thinking about infidelity a lot recently - I don't mean for myself but as a general concept - because of watching Mad Men. My Dad was a crazed shagger, had millions of affairs and the final straw for Mum was an 8yr affair with a woman for whom he'd bought a house (they are now married...) Anyway, this subject is too big for posting on my phone. I hope she's got a good lawyer. The childless at 39 is particularly cruel.

Nearly at Reading so must go. Still so happy because of brilliant night out and zen morning drinking coffee amongst all my things. But also tinged with "Why did I have to leave my beloved London" etc.

Arti I'm so sorry for your friend. I'm sure she agreed to the no kids happily but what an arse he is, she kept her promise of no kids and all he had to do was only have sex with her. Bad words come to mind but don't want to offend.

Summer if your hiring a car which isn't near the airport find a cafe near the airport pick up area then sit yourself down with the beans and send DH off to get the car.

Rubes we are driving down to France on the 23rd July, watching the last day of the tour in Paris then going on to Clermont-ferond(sp) area for a few days then will get down to the gite we are staying (in Condom, just had to say it again) by the 30th July for a week, then 2 days to drive back home.

Such a gorgeous day here. Hope it's sunny for you ladies.

Has anyone got tickets money taken out of their credit cards for the Olympics?

Lady glad you had a nice evening, I used to be a 'friend' of the photographers gallery and an art loving friend and I used to love going to the previews of their exhibitions, not least for the drinks! Your morning Zen coffee sounded divine. I hear you on the London longing.

Soz for cutting and running again (so many interesting conversations, so little time) but v quickly on meet-up LadyT Fridays are great for me - I suggested Thurs cos I don't work Fridays so can have a or two, but it still means travelling in after work (except tomorrow when I'm in London anyway). Basically Thursdays are better than Mon-Wed for me but actually Fridays are even better cos I can spend the day in London as well.

I was hoping you'd say Condom again Vag DH is either taking a week for the last week of July or the 1st week of August, but we are still undecided on what we are doing. It's either a gite in Sth France or San Diego. The latter will be cheaper and has a certain aspect dh likes in that a new bike he wants is several hundred pounds cheaper there
If we do the former, we must try and plan a get together.
Lady, don't fret about London. You've got your flat despite renting it out, you are on the property ladder IN LONDON! That is a huge connection, and a bloody lovely asset (you too Vag) You're only a train ride away, and just because you are building a new life in the country (sorry I just watched that show ) doesn't mean you won't ever go back to London (though I'd think you're bonkers!) I'd love to have a little crash pad in London and my permanent house out with a bit more space.

PD / lady Fridays I can usually do - though the odd working eve for dh is there but I have his on calls on the calender up until Sept now

I have a big prob with ds and the napping. he REALLY still needs a nap as he's fallen asleep on the couch around 4pm for the last few days (once in a restaurant ) but he wakes up just FOUL - unbearable. Crying, screamy, clingy, wants to be carried around and screams if I put him down. Throws things if I ignore him. it's like he's still tired. I would rather put up with his slight grumpyness and avoid the post nap meltdown but I just can't keep him awake. He's happily gone for a nap at 1pm so I'm going to don a hard hat and brace myself around 3 when he wakes. Any tips? Anyone?

ok, 2.5 hr nap and he has woken as the most pleasant child ever. I give up!

Men!
I just had a haircut in 10 minutes. Gone are the days of pampering. Pru cried like I was beating her throughout. EEEK!

PS "Men!" comment was at DS, Rubes!!

PPS Have discovered a way to get DD1 to eat broccoli. I've told her it's a mini tree and she has to eat the leaves off the top. Obviously it's also smothered in butter, which helps. And she scoffs the lot!

Your holiday snaps are gorgeous Arti, makes me want to go straight away. Did you hire the girls wetsuits? I want to get something for DD so we can enjoy days on the beach, like you did, and she feels the cold no end, even in a heated swimming pool. Talking of which, I'm very impressed with Beans DD1s swimming

I am also shocked by your big sis Beans, is her attitude fuelled by her DH's issues, or is it vice versa? Families eh, who'd have them?!

Gutting about your friends Arti, especially when you obviously had a high opinion of him in order to introduce him to a friend and for your DH to accept the best man role. What a tit, to let you all down

Your evening sounds lovely LadyT, I hope you got plenty of cuddles from the girls to lift your spirits when you got to Reading? My work colleague is really excited that you've got the commission, she keeps thanking me profusely (a good, but strange, thing, as I'm much more familiar with her demanding something NOW and I'm not used to all the gratitude!). Any other travel writers are also very welcome to York as she is asking who else I know to invite. Any takers?

Did I ignore the bit in the book about 2.5 year olds being able to draw shapes, or is less expected of northerners? DD scribbles enthusiastically and she knows what all her pictures are meant to be, but there's nothing circular or straight line ish about them, by any stretch of the imagination

Good going on the wee's, Summer boy

Sorry to hear life is still a drag for B and you Spot. Have you started weaning him yet? I think you said you were going for it early (or was that someone else). Hopefully a few calorie laced meals will pad him out a bit

I am too tired today, this social life business is not good for me. Despite Vaj's disapproval , I went to see Take That last night and I LOVED it. But it always takes so long to get out of gigs and it was 245am before I crawled to bed for my 3.5 hrs kip. Urgh. I only have myself to blame. I have been on auto pilot at work today and was looking forward to getting DD to bed quickly and following her immediately afterwards. But I've just got a message she's been sick this afternoon, poor love, so I need to summon some energy for nursing. Think it will be coffee fuelled nursing, that's acceptable, right Vaj / Trace?

Poor you and DD, ZJ. I think caffeine fuelled nursing is fine, it's the cocaine-fuelled stuff that is less ideal. Hope she gets better soon. And I am vv jealous of your TT night. I would probably collapse in a little puddle if I was there.

We are trying the early weaning, tried about a month ago and he was def not ready, is a lot more so now, but have realised that while he will inhale baby rice and cereal like there's no tomorrow, fruit purees are too acidic and cause him to majorly reflux.

He's also desperate to move and struggles in his swaddle, but ends up with his legs out of the cot at the bottom if it's not on as the angle is so steep. Then he wants to go on his tummy but that hurts too. Berk.

On the other TT front, we bought T some big boy pants and try and get him to sit on the potty, which sometimes works but he's wet every single pair today. It's just at home, mind, not out. But he has no concept of when it's going to happen. I feel a bit bad as it's prob too soon but he really likes his pants, wants to wear them and isn't bothered by accidents. Do you think I should just go back to nappies or have I started and now need to see it through? I'd be happy to bin it, but he's just so pleased with his pants .

Beans that's a great tip on the broccoli!

Re- the house, it's a bit of a compromise for DP as it means I get to stay in the county and within reach of friends, and he's more likely to meet people in a village (or so the thinking goes) by joining the cricket team, going to the pub (of which there are two) etc. So we'll see. Obv not a done deal by any means but am kind of excited. I will miss the town but the house has a decent garden. It's here

That looks really nice, Spot. It is true that if you drink in the village pub you soon know get to know a lot of people in the village (DP certainly does). I see the logic of your thinking and really hope this 'third way' is the answer!

I bet TT were great, ZJ. And I am thrilled to be doing a piece for you for the MoS and I really hope I can do a decent job...I did get a lovely big cuddle from the girls, as well. I walked round the shops/had a quick lunch for the three hours DP was busy in Reading and it felt indulgent and lovely (haven't done much shop time in recent months).

Rubes, you are totally right about the flat, of course. I am so amazingly lucky to have it at all, even if I do have to rent it out in a few months. And although I do miss London massively, I know why I am here and not there. It's because living in London would make DP miserable, it wouldn't be good for him for his current work, and the girls have access to more of an outdoor life and a better primary school. SOmetimes it's about other people and not yourself I guess

Vag, DP tried for Olympics tickets but we haven't heard anything yet.

Tons more to say but eek, Apprentice time.

Just a quick one from me to say that PD/Mom I am still feeling a bit grotty so would be no fun tomorrow night I fear (unless your idea of fun is hanging around with a moaning pg woman). But really want to fix something else soon. I would be more than happy to do a Friday night, or Thurs.

Also am going to take a mad punt on sorting out a picnic for us. Would 20th 21st August be any good? Or 3/4th September? Suggest we pick a London park (is Hyde Park easiest?). So have started a separate thread - back in a sec to post a link.

here we go