Dec 08 Mums - Introducing our new joiners, TrudyV and Al Fresco...

[Beans33]

Hope this is ok? Thought it was subtle enough for the wider MN and not offensive!!

Oh beans that does sound tough for your Dad, but lovely you had such a great holiday all together. I think sometimes the psychological shock from being diagnosed with cancer can take a while to sink in - especially if the diagnosis and treatment happen v quickly. I know it did with my Mum - by the time she was really anxious about having cancer she didn't have it any more. We were very lucky.

Have stayed off work again today, but feeling a bit better and BP up a bit, so that's good. ILs are here looking after the DCs who are both beside themselves as a consequence - v sweet.

SL i love the name marvin but no, not mine. We have excellent taste in middle names . And yes please on fbook, although am pretty crap at keeping up with it these days. DS had the islabikes balance bike until quite recently, we bought him the cnoc for his 4th birthday and he got on it and rode it straight away - no teaching him at all. I was a bit about balance bikes to start off with but they really do teach them how to ride a bike and you don't have any of that faff with stabilisers etc.

We have a family rule about motorbikes/scooters. No one is ever allowed one. Mainly because my irish grandmother nursed a lot of young men who'd come of their bikes in the pre-helmet days. She was such a fantastic woman and so laissez faire about everything else everyone has just always accepted it. Having said that, my Mum used to ride a motorbike and in fact did so when pg with my eldest brother until she couldn't get her leathers on any more she was super skinny so I think she was about 5 months. But then my mum has never followed anyone else's rules...

Vag am impressed by the health care you get - sounds really thorough. DD hasn't had a single check up for anything not least because the frickin HV kept getting the date wrong and I got really fed up of trailing up to the clinic. DS went through a phase of stuttering and I got really het up about it (and have vague recollection of blaming DH for it somehow - poor man, not quite sure how I got to that) but then it stopped as suddenly as it started. I completely agree with you about the difference in experience in TT - night and day. We didn't start with DS until he was 2.9 and that was too early for him whereas DD has been dry day and night for a few months now.

I think he is running off to save her...but then he got shot at the beginning of the series by the girl in the spacesuit...who I thought was Melody Pond...but why would she kill the Doctor. I'm a bit slow tbh. I do think Rory is quite fit...

Spot glad you had a good time away

Realised I got the wrong end of the stick on the scooter chat. Obv not talking about mini micro ones then.

I thought maybe that was the 'flesh' Doctor.

The system is good and bad here. DS2 has been seen every 6 months, I think they do that until they are 4, then they get handed over to the school kids team that sees them at 5.5 years and 9, and are responsible for their health monitoring up until they are 19. They did a good check up on DS1, but they've been a nightmare with his imms. He had to catch up on some because the vaccination program is different. He had to have all his hep b shots here, and its been a nightmare chasing them to do them. The three shots are supposed to be given a 1st and 2nd a month after the first then another 6months after the 2nd. His first was in March last year, then after I chased them, the following October and after much hassle again, the last is being given this June!

Urbs, I think he will grow out of it too, in fact we have already seen an improvement. It's just that he gets caught up on certain words, usually the start of a sentence.

SL we got DS21 his first bike at 3, 17" with the seat as low as it would go. He still fits it at nearly 6 but he needs one with gears now.

just lost an entire massive post and now I'm pissed. off.

I'm pissed off too rubes. Not because of losing post, but because DH has just casually told me he can't make the Kings of Leon concert we're supposed to be going to in Hyde Park because he can't manage his diary of some stupid work thing. Had arranged to go with others too. Grrrrr. And work thing also involves him being away. Double grrrr.

Rubes, so annoying when that happens.

Urbs, that sucks, I guess his sex won't be on fire for a while (see what I did there). If I was in London I'd come with you.

Welcome back Beans, Sybs, Deidre and Arti, and I hope you?re having a fab time in Portugal WaitingGirl

I?m really pleased you had a good weekend Spot, but what a comedown with that sleep, or rather without it. Even I live in a village with more than one shop ...

Arti, we?re going to be staying in St Davids. On all my trips as a child we stayed in a cottage just above Whitesands Bay, but that is now a private house, to this is a good compromise. Where did you stay? Was the weather kind to you? I was horrified to see the Pembroke power station explosion on the news last week

I have looked up your county on a map Trudy, you?re right, it is nowhere near the NW

DS21 Vaj , you go girl! That spreadsheet sounds amazing, I think I will move to the Netherlands before I have any more sprogs. Talking of which, I got asked today how far along I was with DC2 . I am now working hard to make sure that never happens again with a bar of G&Bs and a hot chocolate made with full fat milk, I figure if I?m fat all over people will simply recognise me as obese, rather than someone with appalling stomach muscles

This weekend?s wedding was marvellous, so much fun, the next 2 have a lot to live up to. The happy couple are the last of our close group of friends to get married and whether we all subconsciously saw it as the last chance for a proper celebration, or whether it is because the opportunities to let our hair down come fewer and farer (more far?) between, or simply because the couple live at the best party house ever (7 miles past the back of beyond and three quarters of the way down the road to nowhere, on the left hand side), but it was just the happiest and most fun occasion. I hit the dance floor as soon as the first dance was over and didn?t leave it until I was dragged into our taxi kicking and screaming, some 5 hours later. All my muscles still ache today (I must be the world?s worst dancer, as the oddest muscles have given up on me since then) and I have to warn you ladies that dancing to Status Quo is not good for the pelvic floor. I must have been fuelled by a massive sugar rush from all the sweets that were kicking around, you realise you?ve passed another milestone in your life when the free sweets are far more exciting than the free bar ...

Deids I did something similar but I remember "f*" being in there too, which my father was more annoyed about! Funny how things change as you grow up. My father was here just now collecting M for the day, and when he arrived he handed me a packet of little cigars we'd left behind when we were over there hanging out last week while they were away. He was really delighted we'd relaxed with a smoke and his whisky - how things change when you grow up! Is your mouth all better now btw?

Beans that sounds hard. As you say, good that he's all clear now but clearly it's been a tough few months.

HRH Well done DS. That all sounds very formal. M had an 18m-2yr check (what they do in Powys - we've moved since) and the HV just watched him noodle around, which was quite a relief. Good news on the TT too.

Urbs how annoying re KoL. Sex on Fire was the first one of theirs I heard and I love it - so does my 9yo, which is a bit disconcerting

Have lots more to read & reply to but I must go, back to the doc to have my fruitcakery levels tested again. Having got the time wrong at the last appt I'm going to make sure I'm all eager and fresh-faced and waiting this morning - oh the effort. Will catch up later from Jelly - anyone go to Jelly?

Wow, you're all very quiet in the daytime. Just been swimming with DD2. Brilliant. She just loves it. And we had a breakthrough on holiday - DD1 can now swim without armbands. Admittedly, it's flailing under water rather than swimming, but she comes up for air and then launches herself under again. It's brilliant! I now want to take her regularly!! Must keep it up so she keeps doing it and doesn't forget.

I have bought scones and clotted cream. I want to bury my face in them and eat them, but have held off so far. Not sure why I bought them. Piggery.

ZJ - that wedding sounds amazing - although not so cool the old pelvic floor muscles.

I forgot to say what a nightmare my sister was on the holiday. She's the one married to the alcoholic and I think they are both absolutely miserable with eachother. But she was a total cow and never speaks to DH. At one meal, they were put next to eachother and she put her elbow up between them and basically ignored him. Bear in mind that he is about 10000000000000 x nicer than her husband and doesn't drink himself to incoherence or bore on to everyone, I felt like throttling her. Plus her poor little daughter is clearly miserable and getting to be obese - very greedy. AND she is just so rude to me, it's heinous. Anyway, never mind. Families are sent to try us eh???

Good luck Trudy!

Am just on a train and it paused outside Oxford and I watched three fox cubs frolicking in the hedgerow. Too cute.

Anyway, doing my current trick of posting and running, sorry! Spent weekend and last couple of days working at house - still haven't moved but downstairs and upstairs bathroom now operational so we could live there in comfort now. We've even switched on the fridge. But no telly or broadband yet so won't be moving until that's all sorted. Am on train into town (first time in WEEKS) to go to private view of exhibition of artist friend. Really exciting. Will be like the old days! And DP isn't working until 12 so I can stay the night, woo! He is bringing them into Reading for me tomorrow late morning.

To this end I am going to request that we move Thursday night's meet up to a couple of week's time as I would really (selfishly) appreciate spreading out the gallivanting. Is that ok? Rubes, maybe you can come then?
I really do want to do it and hope you don't think I'm being rude. And you can always meet without me

Proper catch up must wait but welcome back to our holiday ladies and bon voyage WG.
Spot, WHERE IS THIS NEW HOUSE?? Tell all. One shop? Cricket? What I don't know about this lifestyle
ain't worth knowing

Beans, I am sure it's so rotten for your Dad but the worst is behind him and the only way is up, etc. As the summer wears on he can enjoy that lovely feeling of regaining vigour.

DD1 has started saying that she's hungry, which is music to my ears, obviously. Though today she said "I'm hungry [Pinter pause] For toffee popcorn". Hmm. DD2, meanwhile, continues to chow through anything. No lump is too big, no helping is too vast. Talk about chalk and cheese. She has four teeth now, two on top and two on the bottom.

Right, must paint my nails!

X-posted with you, Beans. Am at your sister's behaviour! Did you call her on it? I'm not sure IKd have been able to resist (in private, I mean, not create ghastly scene with rest of fam). Golly! Poor you.

Have eaten massive bag of cherries. That's about as indulgent as I get and am still fat old toilet. Bah. And I've smudged my nails cos DP rang to tell me DD1 was trying a sherbet dib dab and kept sneezing.

Lady - so true on the only way being up. And actually he played snooker with the sons in law on Saturday night and said it was the turning point and he suddenly feels much more positive and less depressed. So that's great news.

I was tempted to say something to my sister, but she's a pretty scary lady when she wants to be, so I wasn't really brave enough. She's a lawyer and thinks I'm 15, so I tend to act that way around her. Pathetic, I know. She ALWAYS contradicts her husband (who I don't like, but I feel for him on this) when he's reprimanding their son, which drives us all insane. Dad actually has said to her on a number of occasions that she must back him up in front of the children even if she disagrees. Which, I have to say, I agree with, otherwise undermines him totally. Anyway, after M&D had gone to bed onw evening, she said that she is so bored of "her doddering old 70 year old father" telling her not to undermine her husband. I told her that in my opinion, he's right and he's hardly doddering. I WISH I'd pointed out the fact that he also told her to leave her husband and that he would support her if she decided to and that he is never anything but generous and kind to her and HE'S VERY WISE. It made me absolutely seethe, as Dad is anything but a doddering old father. Added to which, I had just nearly come to blows with her husband at supper as was defending her against his accusation of not caring enough about Dad! And then she said that and confirmed what her husband had said and undermined me totally! I honestly couldn't be bothered to have a row with her, but was furious and seething.

Anyway, gives me and my other sister something to bitch about!!!

DDs are entertaining themselves beautifully. Must go and run a bath though!

xx

Did any of that make sense? Sorry. Families have so many underlying tensions, I find it very interesting. Plus, she is 7 years older than me, so I feel quite detatched from her really. If we weren't sisters, we wouldn't be friends. I love her, but she'd only met DD2 once since she was born and that was in July last year. We both live in London. She in Lancaster Gate and me in Streatham. But still. We're hardly close.

I must try DD1 on sherbert and see if she sneezes too. She loves haribo, unfortunately!!

House readiness sounds promising, Lady! i might be able to make a later meet up too....

Whiffling on, I'm aware. But I used to have a friend who was in love with me. He owns this house. Minted. Sob. Am I shallow??! Yes! Hee hee! Luckily DH proper star, who I love.

Enjoy your private view and your night on the town Lady. I would love an evening meet-up but hadn't even noticed this one being planned (duh). What night would work for people?

Beans, your sister sounds troubled. I get sad when I read about distant and antagonistic siblings. Growing up as an only child I think I romanticised the sibling bond. I so hope my girls are close throughout life. Oh, and well done to yr DD1 on swimming, that is amazing at 2.5. DD2 has had lessons every week from 3 months and still can't surface for air. She does love that flailing underwater though...

Veg, that's some intensive development checking they do in Holland. Annoying about the jabs though. My DD2 has her 2.5 year check on Friday and the checklist says she should be able to draw a line and a circle when directed, we are soooo far from that. She can however hit her sister with a flying object with great accuracy even from considerable distance. Precocious or what?

Spot, do tell us more about the new house. Any chance of a link? I was sorry to read that B still cries so much. You are so stoical and uncomplaining that I had assumed he was much better.

Urbs, how are you feeling today? Better I hope. Maybe your DH is thoughtfully trying to raise your blood pressure with the Kings of Leon news.

ZJ, glad the wedding was so fun. When are you off to St David's. Near there I recommend Porth Curno for v pretty harbour and best fish and chip restaurant ever. There are pics of the harbour on my FB.

Deids, camping sounded like a nice break. You are intrepid camping with the smalls. We are braving Latitude again this year but the tent part worries me. Well the tent part and the toilet part. I hope I can persuade DD2 to use a potty (which she states are for babies) rather than the drop loos which I might lose her down. Shudder.

Enjoy your private view and your night on the town Lady. I would love an evening meet-up but hadn't even noticed this one being planned (duh). What night would work for people?

Beans, your sister sounds troubled. I get sad when I read about distant and antagonistic siblings. Growing up as an only child I think I romanticised the sibling bond. I so hope my girls are close throughout life. Oh, and well done to yr DD1 on swimming, that is amazing at 2.5. DD2 has had lessons every week from 3 months and still can't surface for air. She does love that flailing underwater though...

Veg, that's some intensive development checking they do in Holland. Annoying about the jabs though. My DD2 has her 2.5 year check on Friday and the checklist says she should be able to draw a line and a circle when directed, we are soooo far from that. She can however hit her sister with a flying object with great accuracy even from considerable distance. Precocious or what?

Spot, do tell us more about the new house. Any chance of a link? I was sorry to read that B still cries so much. You are so stoical and uncomplaining that I had assumed he was much better.

Urbs, how are you feeling today? Better I hope. Maybe your DH is thoughtfully trying to raise your blood pressure with the Kings of Leon news.

ZJ, glad the wedding was so fun. When are you off to St David's. Near there I recommend Porth Curno for v pretty harbour and best fish and chip restaurant ever. There are pics of the harbour on my FB.

Deids, camping sounded like a nice break. You are intrepid camping with the smalls. We are braving Latitude again this year but the tent part worries me. Well the tent part and the toilet part. I hope I can persuade DD2 to use a potty (which she states are for babies) rather than the drop loos which I might lose her down. Shudder.

Cripes Beans you Dsis is a right old bitch. How can you say that about your dad. How horrid. I agree about the undermining her DH but the whole family sounds pretty dysfunctional so the kids don't have much chance. How come she is so mental and you are normal. Families are a nightmare. Goodness knows what our visit in December will have instore for us. Whatever happens we have 2 weeks to recover. I'm not sure if I told you but the BIL that was supposed to be getting married in July is now expecting a baby, well his fiance is. Sounds like it will be the second coming. DH was a bit upset as apparently his brother has said that he will be making sure his fiance wants for nothing if she gives him a son!!! DH & I both think that is such a horrid way of thinking. A) its not her that makes it a boy or girl its him & B) imagine being disappointed with you baby the second it comes into the world because its a girl!!! Grrrr makes me angry. DH & his mum are hoping for a girl, as his mum has no female grandchildren and DH loves my nieces and would like one from his side of the family as he has only nephews.

Did I tell you about DHs other brother's girlfriend's family & the prenup agreement they want the spouse of their daughter (potentially BIL) to sign, saying that the first male born must take her surname! They "dissapointingly" had twin girls and don't want their stupid family name to die out. Oh it makes my blood boil.

Arti I meant to respond to you on the attachment thing. I'm at home with DS2 all the time and every now and then I go to the shops or to the gym and DS2 stays home with DH, well he goes ballistic and wails. so I don't think the attachment is anything your doing its just a phase. Also can any of the Dec 08 kids draw a line & circle. maybe its because of the UKs obsession with writing very young. I know they are into pre writing skills from.about this ae.

Sorry my phone had a seizure so had to post. Anyway I was saying about the prewriting skills, here they don't do prewriting skills until they are about four and don't learn to read & write until there at least 6. So maybe they aren't so bothered with circles yet. They didn't even ask him to draw. The most he does is a smiley face which only I can really see as a face with eyes & an upturned mouth.

So Spot, where is this village?

Ok, it's PLumpton Green (of the Plumpton races), about 10 mins drive from Lewes, 25 from Brighton, 1 hr from London (on the main line). House a 10 min walk from station. Nice big garden, DP could build a home office there and get out of my hair. We just upped the offer by 10 grand as our first was rejected, but might play hardball now as as far as I'm aware we're the only ones in the running.
Am a little concerned I may go stir crazy but will just need to make some village friends and use the car a lot I guess. If it happens, of course. Does anyone know it?
Going slightly bonkers with the kids at the mo, and T's super early rising combined with B's night teething is getting me in a right twist. PLus B has started shouting all the time. I can't even put him in a bumbo as he's too skinny and just slides down the side!
DP leaving for amst tomorrow at 6am. Eek. Seriously though, when does having 2 kids become fun? BEcause I am kind of regretting it right now and just resentful of B's troubles and the fact that his medication and feeding rules my day entirely. I know it's not his fault and he's just a lovely chap but I have no energy at all and shout at him a lot .

This talk of dysfunctional families is making me at least grateful for my normal sister. The rest are frankly bonkers but my only sibling is pretty ok. Beans I don't suppose you and your normal sister could stage some sort of intervention?! FOr her own good, of course.
Lady, your evening sounds super. Will you be buying some art to grace the walls of the new home?

Oh bovva I'm going to have to post and run and not do a proper catch-up again - DCs still up and need to put them to bed. But basically wanted to say LadyT v happy to have the meet-up in a couple of Thursdays' time instead, especially if it means more of us can make it. DP has now arranged to go out this Thursday anyway (serves me right for not telling him about my arrangements) so it might be easier. Quite fancied having a couple of hours pottering around in London after my work thing though, so might just ask MIL to babysit anyway. So, upshot is I'm still happy to meet up with urbs & MoM (and anyone else) this Thurs, but equally happy to leave it a couple of weeks. Right, bed.

Spot I promise it does get easier. Just finished a conversation with DH about how lovely it was this arvo watching the boys play together. when I say play obviously I mean throw balls at each others heads but all done with great hilarity.

Lady have a super night out sounds brill.

Bloody nora draw a line and a circle he can barely hold a pencil. But saying that I am with the rest of Europe on this leaving the writing and reading until 6. I dont force the boys to do any reading but they both devour several books a day spending up to half an hour at a time just sitting in their bedrooms looking at books. Also I have never made a huge deal out of DS1 learning to write before school. Worked in enough schools to know how difficult it is to try and re teach children to read and write the way they want them to.

Beans lordy your sister is bonkers, But dont get me started on my hugely dysfunctional family we could be here for hours.

Right gotta dash chocolate to be eaten and telly to be watched.

Bloody Bugger I just read back my previous post and I put a there in instead of a they're
Mmmmm....the boys and I made chocolate cornflake crackles this afternoon and I've just eaten two, now I want more. So yummy. I did go for a 1.5hr ride this arvo, but have just undone it with a big helping of risotto and three chocolate crackles (I'm about to have another).

That's so true about the early reading stuff Jam. DS1's teacher over here said the it is more important to teach kids to listen than to get them reading early. She also said that the risk with teaching them at home is that if you mess it up you can cause a block and they won't want to try to learn it later at school. DS1 starts learning to read in the next school year. One of his friend's mum is an English teacher so we are thinking of getting her to do a one hour lesson with him each week to teach him to read in English. We aren't very consistent with teaching him things at and we think learning to read is so important.

Spot your village is just under 7 hours from me.

That's practically a day-trip, Vag!

I got back quite early (11.30) but just so excited to have had lovely evening and be pottering round beloved scraggy flat, can't get to sleep! Lovely private view, great paintings (erm, won't be buying as don't have 22 MOFO GRAND to lash on art), some cricketers there, took old pal, took said old pal up to my club and we had dinner whereupon I bumped into interesting acquaintance... Just fabulicious.

Beans, I maintain I am utterly shocked at your sister. And how can she diss your Dad like that? Kind parents are so precious. And she lives in my super favourite part of town (to live)!

My sister is a bit of a martyr and handles my Mum all wrong (6 yrs older than me so similar age gap) but whilst I recognise we aren't v similar and like you, wouldn't be mates if we weren't sisters (which saddens me but I'd be kidding myself if I tried to petend otherwise) she is good sort.

PD, am glad I haven't put foot through Thurs evening. And on for fortnight Thurs (which is 23 June I think)

Arti, your trip sounds so nice. A hol with likeminded parents would be smashing. You have so many lovely local friemds around you. I am so envious.

Jam/Vag/Arti really interested in the discussion about reading/writing. Do quite a bit with DD1 but worry it's more for me than her. In that I find it interesting and fun. But I guess we only do stuff if she likes it and I would never, ever, ever force.

Spot, I have heard of the place but don't know it, if you know what I mean. Sounds great! Sorry you are still under cosh. I should think the next few months will get easier with B, as he passes the 6 mth mark and leaves that really small baby stage? So sorry to hear the poor little sausgae slips out of the bumbo.

Jeepers, should at least try to sleep!