Dec 08 Mums - Introducing our new joiners, TrudyV and Al Fresco...

[Beans33]

Hope this is ok? Thought it was subtle enough for the wider MN and not offensive!!

Trace: DH is def bad cop in our house. The boys jump to it when he tells them to to something but not me! I worry that I'm a pushover, but I'm also better (I think) at reasoning with them and explaining why we do/don't do certain things. Different approaches I suppose. The trick is realising when it's a talking issue and when it's a command issue - I struggle with that one. And DH criticises which means I try to command more but trut be told I'm not that good at it!

It is hard and I have no truck with people who say 'wait till X then you'll know what hard is'. We're dealing with this now and need to moan/get support/try different strategies. And we are all doing damn good jobs.

Trace love, I didn't mean to make you cry, I wanted to cheer you up. The rocky road baking sounds yummy. P is just energetic and pushing things where she knows she is secure (listening to and respecting the man shows she is well behaved) and knows there's a time and a place.

Trudy Trace is a Northener (will let her be more specific), bur that's got me thinking that we are trying to arrange a meet up somewhere in the NW, possibly Skipton - how far are you from that area? My geography is appalling. I often do some gardening while DD is napping, or have a quick chat with the neighbours. I stick my head in every 5 minutes or so and leave a window open so I can any yells. Her bedroom has a gate on the door, so she's secure. Tbh I didn't think anything of it until recently I left her watching tv while I hung the washing out, and when I came back she was nowhere to be seen. I eventually (after about a minute, it felt like longer) found a sobbing bundle shut in the downstairs loo, trying to put her coat and wellies so she could come out and join me. Fortunately we don't have a lock but I still felt terrible. I had a giggle at Vaj's ticking off, as she made it sound like you'd left the kids and they were the ones smoking

Happy birthday to big Jam boy, and happy anniversary to Urbs, pleased you're feeling better today

Lovely to 'see' you Mom, really interesting about your diet affecting DS. Your recent pics on fb are adorable

I'm not going on any exotic holidays Urbs, just a long weekend near Whitby and then a week with with my family in Pembrokeshire (a haunt of Arti's I think) for my Mum's 60th. They are both lovely areas of the country and I'm just looking forward to taking time from ironing and cleaning and working and just having some fun

Did anyone listen to Chris Evans this morning? They were reading out the winning entries from at Childrens short story competition at the Hay festival. The stories were amazing, and some of the kids were only 8. I could have happily sat in my car and listened all morning. I actually got a little teary at one point, thinking how proud their parents must be. I can't wait for DD to make me proud, not that she doesn't anyway, but at the moment for things like remembering to say thank you, so I will actually combust when she puts some effort into something and shows rewards. It was just gorgeous

Date night tonight, DD has gone for her second weekend away already so DH and are going on a date. We very rarely go out just the 2 of us, it's normally with friends if we have a babysitter or a babysitter. I'm really looking forward to it

zj you didn't make me cry in a bad way just that thing where someone is nice to you and it turns you to much! Hope you have a great date night! With all these weekends sans dd, maybe you can work on your new year's resolution And I heard some of the Hay Festival stuff - really amazing!
Thanks for the kind words everyone. In the cold light (in fact warm, sunny light) of the day, it seems much smaller a thing! And dh is in tonight so I'm hoping the trouble won't go on as long tonight.
We've just been out to a park and had a picnic, and took L's (toy) double buggy with her 'babies'. It was such a nice time, although we did have to keep stoppin on our walk, so she could BF the babies My hayfever feels I ought not to have one though
Trudy I live in York. Where are you?

oh I forot to answer...
mom Phoebe is now in a bed, but this mischief started while she was in her cot and mastered climbing out of it over a couple of weeks ago. We put her in a bed, on the basis that if she's oing to climb out anyway, it may as well be from a lower bed than over a high cot bar.
Trudy I would definitely leave her to protest if she did it from her room, but unfortunately she can open her door and just comes and finds me. We have a dorma bungalow and her doorway doesn't fit a stair gate, so once she opens the door, she's out. Then she just follows me and sticks to my heels, whining or saying "want wee" or "want poo", which I don't know what to do with either! If I make her go in her nappy, am I undoing what we're trying to do with TT? If I let her sit on the loo/potty she can be there for 20 mins doing nothing but has a tantrum if I try to take her off. So the problem is more that I just can't keep her in her room. ANyway, today is another day...

Just quickly as I'm sort-of doing Lego with DS and play-doh with DD - I'm in Herefordshire, so not in the north or near York I'm sorry to say. I love Herefordshire, but no-one lives here!

Gotta run, but just quickly Trace, we use a travel gate which can fit ANY doorway. He rarely even protests now as he knows it won't work and we just take it down after he's asleep.

Wotcha, young Trace. Sorry to hear P is playing up. It's no comment on your parenting, my love. They ALL do this at times. She's just yanking your chain. When O does it I try to remain firm and confident, and keep repeating. If that doesn't work...well, I walk off and say "Ok, get on with it then and I will come and talk to you again when you can behave." I don't know whether this is good parenting or bad But it sure keeps the lid on my head.

Oh, and Trace, I am coming to York in Sept (ZJ already knows ) so am hoping to lure you out for coffee as I believe you're nearish by. I will have DP with me but I might send him off to that Railway Museum

I haven't bought myself anything new for ages. But I saw some blue suede gladiator sandals in Zara yest and I didn't buy them because I thought DP would hate them (why do I care?) Anyway...decided I couldn't live without 'em so he is picking them up for me on the way home from work Maybe they are a bit gross. They aren't the sort of thing I would usually wear. But they called to me.

Second pointless fact is that I LOVE Hearts of Palm, from a tin. They cost £1.92 for a single tin. Why are they so expensive? I know they come from Costa Rica but doesn't lots of stuff come from far away? £1.92 isn't very much in the grand scheme of things. But I always feel guilty if I buy one (again, why?)

Vag, how's the TT going? I was banking on you hanging back with it so I could feel better about being one of the few with a toddler still in nappies Rubes, I implore you to tell me you haven't begun.

I wonder how our holidaying ladies are getting on? Sybs, Beans, DB. Jam, when's your hol? Beans, if you are reading (which you won't be) I thought The Reader was v good as well. But what amazed me about the K. Winslet bath scene was not her boobs but her enormous hairy doodah, which I subsequently read was a HAIR PIECE.

PD, Mom and others, I may very wekk be up for Thurs night but I am already in town on Tues night for v exciting adult night out so need to find out what DP's diary is like for next week.

I like the sound of your summer house, Trudy. We have talked about having a shed in the cottage we are moving to, for DP to live in enjoy and put some of his crap things in. But now I want a shed as well, for similar reasons. And we also need a shed to, well, just be a normal shed. So now, we need THREE sheds. It's getting really out of control.

I can't be sensible today. The girls have had so many poos between them, it has made me feel a bit loopy.

No TT here LadyT, in fact I haven't even bothered sitting her on the potty in the morning for a while as it was achieving nothing. I can't be bothered if I'm not going to get results. DD has started asking to sit on the toilet when we're socialising with older kids, but then just sits there. I don't think she realises they are doing anything . But sheds i can be more enthusiastic about, I love ours and gathered shelves and drawers from freecycle to keep it ordered in there. DH hasn't put one thing in there, so all the more space for me!

L is so funny, bf her babies trace . Although DD always tests the temperature of her babies bottle on her wrist, despite refusing to ever drink from one herself.

Have a fab weekend everyone, fingers crossed for more sunshine x

Hello from Norfolk ! Lovely holiday and glorious weather. Everyone got on brilliantly too. Seeing outlaws on way home tho so that cd all change. Home late tom and catch up properly on sunday. Love to you all xx

So much shed love! DH has been a 'shedworker' for years now, and at our last house we had a vast workshop (annoyingly 80% full of landlord's crap) as well. At this house we've lost a workshop and gained a huge empty double garage (does anyone actually use a garage for putting their cars in?) as well as our summer house, which is lovely. It was like being 16 last night, out there with a smoke and a drink and a candle

We're hoping to slope off tonight as my parents are away and we can go and hang out at their house, which is five minutes drive away, well-stocked and most importantly, child-free. M is going through his nightly wailing-at-the-door-gate routine, DH is in the shower and then we should be off. SD nominally babysits, but she's in a foul mood for reasons I won't bore you with but that are, of course, our fault for not pandering to her every whim and enthusiastically keeping up with every nuance of changed plans and offering to spend hours on end worrying and/or driving round the countryside. Oh to be 17 and entirely self-centred and with no concerns about acting responsibly, esp when she has my 9 yr old with her. Sorry, am rather failing not to rant Anyway, she's usually a pretty good babysitter and personally I think she owes us The whole irresponsible teenager thing is getting a bit wearing atm.

Anyway, hope everyone has a good weekend, enough sleep and so on.

Always assume I'm joking Trudy. The main reason I said is in Australia a simmer house or sometimes called a holiday house is a little extra house some people have as a place to go for their holidays and eventually to retire to. It made me giggle to think of you putting the kids to bed, locking the house and jumping in the car to drive to your beachside residence for a smoke. Also smoking has quite different connotations for me as a resident of the Netherlands.

On leaving offspring I am going to.out myself as a terrible mother but DS2 was asleep the other day and DS1 was due to be picked up from school, so I locked up and popped over and picked him up and was back well before he woke. Now I need to qualify that DS1's school is literally across the road, & over here that kind of thing is quite normal. In fact the mums there seem surprised that I bring DS2 over for the school pick up even if he is awake. DS1 on the otherhand was horrified that I left DS2 at home. When we got in I asked him if he liked to go to the beach that afternoon and he said yes but could we wait for DS2 to wake up so he could come too.

Trace I love the BF for Lucys dolls. She is doing very well BFing twins.

Urbs glad your feeling better despite the space jump.

Gorgeous day here, but the boys were shattered after yesterday. so stayed in for the morning, then in the afternoon took them to a fountain with some other friends for a splash then to another friends moving in afternoon drinks. A friend has just gotten the keys to her new house but they are having a lot of work done so thought it would be a good opportunity to socialize with friends and not have to worry about kids running rampant as they won't move in for several months.

Right time for takeaway

RudeyT I think Vag meant to say Summer house in the last one - as I've never heard of a Simmer house - having said that, sounds like a bloody good place to simmer down if you're about to blow your top
Vag, that's hilarious! (Bit naughty yes) but so funny of ds1!
Lady, no haven't started TT. Although I do have a potty hanging around since mil bought it about 12 months ago but at this point he still uses it as a seat to watch me on the toilet. We just attached one of those things to the toilet seat though in the hope that he might not be as scared since he can't fall in. i'd prefer him go straight to the big loo if poss byt having those but who knows. I'm not going to push him but when I think he's ready I'm going to totally time trial it (that was for Summer n Vag!)

Vaggie that is sweet about DS1. Tis a weird one but I was a bit with my ironing lady on a subject very similar. What do you all reckon? She said she had to go out at 11pm to pick up her hubby from the train station a good 20min drive each way. I said crikey what about the kids 3 of them all under 10. She said she just locks the door and hopes they dont wake up. I was completely and didnt know what to say. Am I being a bit OTT in thinking this is bloody dangerous and quite frankly illegal??

All those TT. As I have said before DS1 is doing a random self train to his own tune TT. Yesterday I caught him on the toilet no idea how he got on. Then today I witnessed how he does it. He is naked (its his new thing - sigh) He climbs up on to the back of the toilet seat then stands up and falls forward until his hands hit the seat. Then when he is finished he just lets himself fall forward until he hits the floor. He is officially mental!

Had a super day in London for DS1's birthday took them to the Science museum. They both loved it. Then dropped DH off at Euston he is on a stag do on a canal boat with 15 other 30 somethings, what could possible go wrong Anyway came home let them have a dominos for tea (bad mummy) and a late night watching a movie. He went to bed a very happy boy. With his new roller skates at the end of the bed.

Trace my love how did bedtime go tonight?

ZJ hope you are having a lovely date night.

Urbs glad you are a wee bit better and happy anniversary.

Lady we need a link to the luscious glad shoes.

Right to bed for me. A's BFF birthday party tom and then his party on Sunday. God these children have better social lives than me.

Glad you had a good day, Jam, that sounds lovely.

Shoes here

Oh bum, DD2 is crying!

RUbes, we have a couple of potties hanging about and DD1 does occasionally sit on one and even to do a poo, but goes nuts if I try to take her nappy off. She is obviously not ready. Which is fine.

Oh heck, watched The Lovely Bones tonight. It has really depressed me. I was in quite a good mood until I watched that! Urrrrrrrrgh. It's going to keep me awake. I am already having nightmares from that BBC drama, The Shadow Line. I can't cope with violence in films/telly, even if fictional or implied. Also, schoolboy error of having a late coffee so I am super awake. I am a numpty of the first degree.

Oh me oh my, that film has really, really rattled me. I am also not good at films with supernatural elements. All in all (though a quite good and gripping movie) it had just about everything in to guarantee me a feverish, broken night of sweating terror. And it was a Certificate 12!

Hope you all have better night's sleeps than me

Still awake. And not only disturbed by the film but annoyed by massive inconsistencies in the story. Double grrrrr.

I watched Young Victoria last week and it had a great cast and a really thin, duff script. Both of these were Love Film dvds of my choice. Sigh. Hope we get a good one soon. I get unreasonably exercised by flawed films, as you can see. Same with books. Flawed people I don't mind half as much

Right, may as well try to soothe myself down with some Wodehouse or last month's Tatler.

Oh dear Lady, hope the caffeine's worn off now (7am ) I'm not keen on violent or scary films or the supernatural but I do like a really good suspense thriller, like Misery or The Long Good Friday, or a period piece like The Go-Between.

Hope everyone had a good night. We did sneak off to my parents' house and had another lovely evening sat outside with cigars, port and whisky. My goodness, two nights out of three, this is larks! I don't normally live life on the edge like this. We were home later than intended and one thing led to another and the very moment it was all over DS woke up. That happens so often (she says, making it sound like we're at it like rabbits which we certainly aren't!), it feels like more than a coincidence. Fortunately he settled himself, but it did make me wonder if we release some super-hormone that says "quick, your parents are at it, wake up and grizzle!". We don't yell and scream or bump the bed round the room so I don't know what could be disturbing him. Does anyone else find their DC have such impeccable timing or are we just lucky?

I have a new and scary experience to look forward to this morning: I'm sitting with SS while he drives to work this morning. He's learning to drive and DH is happy with his progress but I will admit to being a bit nervous, which I will of course try to hide. Other than that it's the usual Saturday morning bed stripping marathon and attendant laundryfest and hanging out with the DCs. I like Saturdays as it's just the four of us I haven't seen anyone else mention stepchildren - am I the only one with resident skids here?

Lady - Hope you fell asleep eventually! I had nightmares after watching Ghostbusters so you can imagine what kind of state I was in after I accidentally watched an episode of Apparitions with Martin Shaw as an exorcist.

Summer and other Thomas fans. Have you seen these little Thomas films on You Tube. DS loves them and they may give you an idea of what I mean by the best Thomas train set in the world.

We have a busy day ahead tidying all signs of life away from our house ready for the painters on monday. We'll be staying at my mother's house for 2 weeks so my MN time will be limited as she has no Internet access.

Crikey Lady you were wired last night!

Jam, I only pop across the road, never drive off that is wrong. There is no minimum age that you can leave a child unattended in a house. However, there is a law on how old a child should be that is left to supervise younger children. I think its 12 but I might be wrong. As she left 3 children essentially the oldest would be the supervisor (even though asleep) & is under the legal age to be responsible for siblings so yes definitely illegal.

Haha Rubes on the simmer house, what a great idea I came up with.

Are you having the entire house painted Nolda. Good on you, we really should have got ours done before we moved in, but hey Ho. We have just yesteday discovered by our neighbour passing comment that the builders are coming to do the two upstairs balconies. We knew when we moved in that these would need to be done and will take about 2 weeks but we assumed they would tell us when it was happening as they will need to build the scaffolding in our garden and it will basically take up our entire back entrance and garden. I'm going to be spending most days at friends houses. DS2's TT is going well but if I'd have known the work was being now I wouldn't have started him as we will need to be out everyday now. Hopefully the weather is good. DH will probably have to arrange to work at their main clients offices as it will be impossible to work from home.

Had a great day today at a Lake near here, the boys loved it and DS2 is perfecting his bush wee. Unfortunately he didn't realise that bush poos don't work out so well. Bless him, he took himself off to a tree pulled down his pants and dropped a big no.2 whilst standing up. He seemed completely surprised that it didn't really work out so well.

Vag - That's a real PITA that they didn't give you any notice that the work on the balconies was starting. Yes, we are having the entire interior of the flat and the outside of the front windows and the inside of the covered passageway at the side painted. It has been due for a while (to say the least). But the good thing is that we can then put the house one the market. It only has two bedrooms so as we have a boy and a girl we can't stay here for much longer and also there isn't a child friendly garden (have I mentioned DS, the neighbour's ornamental moles and the pond?).

Your DS2 and his bush poo did give me a giggle. Glad that TT is going well for you otherwise.

It's so hot here today, not the day for packing up. Better go and cook [poo].

haven't caught up yet - will do on phone in bed, but just to say we're off on hols tomorrow. going to portugal to see dad and ladyfriend for 12 days. really looking forward to it - 2 extra pairs of hands to allow lie-ins, hopefully, and much swimming. dh is coming home after a week to work, which means i will be travelling back on my own with the 2 girls. am TERRIFIED. all hints and tips gratefully received. will have intermittent internet access, so will try to keep up with what is going on. love to all

Hol sounds like bliss WG I thought you were going to say you're off to Sth Africa or s'thing! 2 hour flight will be fine - nothing at all to stress about Have fun. Lovely evening at a pub riverside here, inspired by you Vag oh and my love for going to the pub dh worked all day, and ds got to feed the ducks. result all round. Your day looked fab on FB.
Lady here's to a better nights sleep. Bummed I can't do Thurs. Any other night fine SL I love your DC's! Those track photo's were priceless. RudeyT you fit in so well here!

oh and by that I meant DH worked all day so it was a result for him to go to the pub (with a happy duck feeding child) when I collected him from the station, not a result that he worked all day - that sucked, (but is also good)

Hello lovely ladies,

Back from a lovely few daysin Angelsey, we were very lucky with the weather. I seem to have a mountain of washing and ironing to get through now though

Will do my best to catch up, but I don't hold out much hope...back later.

oh dear. I am still in bed, and a bit bored so have just posted on a thread about feminism Eek.

rubes I love the sound of your local your DH does seem to work really hard.

holiday sounds lovely deids - n wales is hard to beat when it's not raining.

nice shoes ladyt. I have also been busying myself ordering stuff for holiday. DH was a bit yesterday when the door rang for the 4th time with another parcel. I am also a real wimp when it comes to violence on films. I think it's because we didn't have a TV when I was little so I wasn't desensitised to any of it.I can't watch anything remotely graphic without hiding behind cushion. I think shadowline is great but am looking away from quite a bit of it. Could just be innate wimpy-ness though. Have just started reading this really interesting book about empathy and apparently I might be able to blame it on an excess of empathy . Am not sure DH would agree I am troubled in that direction as I laugh like a drain when he walks into a door.

Have worked out that one of the reasons I am feeling grotty is low blood pressure - I had this when I was pg with DS. When the Dr took it on Friday she said it was very low but then checked my notes and saw that it had been low before. I usually have pretty low BP but this stage of pg it gets even lower. Which is all terribly sensible, but makes me feel dizzy and woozy and have nearly fainted a couple of times. So back to Dr tomorrow I think, and in the meantime am in bed wearing support stockings with my feet up. The glamour of it. Last time Dr 'prescribed' eating more crisps though. So not all bad

wg I am complete amateur at flying with DCs, but have done 5 hour train journey with mine when they were similar ages. Top tips from me would be

• make sure you have a spare top for you as well as clothes for them in your hand luggage
• sticker books
• that thing where you wrap up a little toy for them to open every hour/30 mins whatever really works. You get at least 10 minutes distraction. For DD on our epic train journey in france I have a little car, a couple of small tubs of playdoh, some pencils and colouring book and a host of party bag tat.
• kind strangers will often read story books to the elder one
• you can never have too many wipes
• lots of snacks
• ask for help if you need it.

And break it down into really small bits rather than thinking you've got x hours with no help in front of you.