Dec 08 Mums - Introducing our new joiners, TrudyV and Al Fresco...

[Beans33]

Hope this is ok? Thought it was subtle enough for the wider MN and not offensive!!

I'm the same, Effie - if my littles misbehave, then people can tell them off. I think it's par for the course and do the same too.

Forgot to say - I think there might be a problem with MN, because we all keep missing loads of posts and it can't be all of us being dippy. Can it???

Which is more likely, MN playing silly buggers or a collective brain fart? Hmmmm .

Bugger, Ds2 has another ulcer/blister in his mouth. Any ideas? The nurse has ruled out h f & m. Off to get bonjela...

That's interesting Effie, because I excelled at Uni, I had to give up chemistry in high school because I couldn't keep up yet I topped the year in physics at uni, was one of the few who passed my pathophysiology module, and chemistry was a dream. I even got into molecular biology and was baffled why no one else understood it. I've always felt that somehow school failed to develop my science ability somehow and so we have vowed to have access to a better style of education for the boys.

Currently having my toenails done and quite enjoying it. Only ?20 but the women is awesome very thorough. Think i might get a mani too. High tea was lovely. Was so nice to go out with all the girls childfree.

Hi all,

Beans I'd have been furious at the mum giving her boy a biscuit to comfort him! Hope your girls are being lovely for you.

Zj how did the sozzled cake baking go?!

Lady t You asked about dd2's gingerness. My nanna was a redhead although she went white before colour photography was widespread so I've never seen how it looked! I do think J will stay red as her eyebrows and lashes are strawberry blonde.

I'm jealous of your lovely nails vag!

Beans sorry I didn't comment on your post about the horrid boy earlier. I was a bit busy. We had this same problem with a friends DS when we lived in Derby. Sadly I think ut coloured our friendship a bit. The mum was a bit like your friend and to be fair I think the approach was ok and had it merits but the boys dad wasn't consistent with speaking to him in the same way and would either tell him off or ignore. Also I don't think they felt it was a big problem because it wasnt their child getting hurt. Also sadly as DS1 got bigger & stronger than their DS the hitting got worse and more violent. In the end if we hadn't moved I think we would have had to limit their time together. I also got quite annoyed one day as his mum was telling me about how a boy at school had hit her DS & how he had found it really embarrassing & upsetting. I held myself back from saying anything but I wandered what the hell she thought my DS1 felt.

Oh yes, Vag - I remember you posting about that situation on here ages ago.

Gosh, if I'd had DD2 first, I would have seriously considered whether to have another baby! I certainly would have waited a lot longer. She is heaven, heaven, heaven most of the time. But man oh man she is naughty. I don't know if it's particularly at the end of the day that she misbehaves, or if it's my patience that is at the end of its useful life by then, but I am driven almost to distraction by her. And poor DD1 gets the sharp edge of my tongue as well. I almost called social services on myself earlier!!! Ok, clearly I didn't, but I was doing some good old shouting. Now both are in bed (DD2 still banging at her cot!!). DD1 out like a light, due to lack of daytime sleep. DD2 wide awake and having a happy time. But will leave her until she goes to sleep. Oops, loud bang from upstairs as she toppled in her cot. Has been sick as well. bugger. Cleaned up now.

Effie - how's DS doing now? If you're really worried, take him to A&E. How is he in himself?

I am not looking forward to a long day on my own with the girls tomorrow. Nothing in the diary as was meant to be staying at parents' tonight, so haven't organised anything. Bugger. I think on Monday I will bugger off for the day. Need to get away.

One amusing thing, though. Yesterday in the bath, DD1 was sitting there having a lovely time with her hands in her parts. She said to me, "Mum, what's this called" and I said, it's your fanny, DD. And she said "No, Mum, come and have a look", so I did and she was pointing at her clitoris bit. I didn't know what to say, so said "It's called your bits". No idea how to handle that sort of thing! And she's taken to calling me Mum, not Mummy, which I hate!!!

Hello. I'm not sure what's kept me quite so busy the last couple of days, but I have a few mins now while DH and DD watch Dr Who and DS screams his head off goes to sleep. He's been a nightmare at bedtime this week Sounds like he's gone off, after a couple of 5-min bouts of real heartfelt crying. We were rudely awoken at 5am by a hysterical smoke alarm which went off twice in half an hour, waking DS who got very vocal about it all but to his credit went back to bed each time and woke for the day at nearly 7.30, unheard-of for him. I on the other hand, having traipsed all over the house looking for the cause and failing to find it, then lying there convinced it would go off again any minute, and assuming that anyway DS would wake up again around 6am, totally missed out on an extra two hours sleep I could have had

ZJ the laminated sheet is going really well. I was only joking about having one for myself. DD's kept to the one on the fridge and the one in her homework diary and keeps telling me that she thinks it's really helping, which is a huge relief. lol at choosing a world leader as my reward - I'll get back to you with my choice! The weekends sound amazing - it's been 18m since we had a weekend sans enfants.

Sybs Glad to hear it wasn't exactly bad news and you have choices. Tough choice though.

WG that sounds horrible. It's draining and crap and gruelling. I have nothing of any use whatsoever to add but I really feel for you.

Beans I get hacked off with DH about nights too, but apart from that he's great so I try to rationalise it, even though it pisses me off massively, especially when I get up at 6am after the nth broken night in a row. Well done you showing that little boy who's boss. These things do affect friendships. DD had huge problems at school with her erstwhile best friend who turned on her and began waging a hate campaign, which broke my DD's heart. Little friend's mother had been a friend of mine for years but she didn't really take it seriously which hugely stuck in my craw. They went abroad and DD moved schools anyway (not because of that), but now they're back I'm not falling over myself to rekindle the friendships, though we are in touch and the girls have played together. I can never forget or forgive how she dismissed DD's distress and hurt.

SL poor DD, that cut sounds horrible. Coffee tables are a liability - DD still has a scar on the back of her scalp (under her hair, obv) where she cracked it on the nice sharp edge of our coffee table seven years ago Glad DD's eye is unscathed too.

trace Hope P's ear does right itself. 'My' P (Polly) had to have eye surgery at four years old and though a complete success and she bunced back in five mins, I was a wreck at the time. God total sympathy for entertaining a toddler for an hour in a waiting room, stuff of nightmares.

Effie the blisters sound horrible. Hope they're short-lived.

Hmm, horizontal jogging. When spontaniety is impossible, you're desperately tired, LOs wake up every five mins, quite possibly you're going to bed at 8.30pm and DH at midnight, and you're head is full of tot-related miscellany, it's not surprising that steamy sessions with DH are the furthest thing from your mind. In our case it doesn't help that my teenage skids go to bed later than I do, which is the ultimate passion-killer. Like pp, I can happily live without it these days, well, mostly, but once things start up I usually get into it. I like the idea of doing it more often, it's just the practicalities and quite simply I forget all about it We also haven't sorted out contraception, there isn't a choice that suits us properly, so for now it's proceed with caution.

Effie where is the blister is it on the tongue or on gums or the other bits?

Crikey beans her clit, that's getting specific, you'll be having to come up with names for labia's manora & majora soon. Be careful, someone is going to use the words 'bits' in its proper context and completely confuse her. Like "I'm going to go to M&S for some bits".

Vag - hahahahahahah! What else can I call the inner workings?? I have no idea!

Nothing on box tonight. YAWN. Jump by JC is being my saviour, although am finding it really disjointed and actually a bit too pleased with herself for her witty asides, which aren't as witty as they used to be and too self-aware. Think the narrative is suffering for her one-liners which aren't that great any more. Bit like Roger Moore's James Bond to Sean Connery's.

Trudy - you do write an excellent post. I'm impressed by your dedication to our gang already. You are a fully signed up member of the gossip-hub that is Dec 08. Love it!

I also realised tonight, how much I take DH for granted. I went to a BBQ today, which was marvellous, and actually, I coped brilliantly (if I do say so myself - smug twat!) and actually had a real laugh. But I think that was more because it was my oldest, most loved school friends (my two new and only godsons there, heaven) who were attending, one without children and one who only had one with her because husband and son stayed at home with conjunctivitis. They both helped out endlessly and were heroes, allowing me to relax a bit more. My children adore both of them anyway, which helped. BUT at bathtime, I was truly at the end of my ability to be patient and it is then that DH would have been a joy to have here as he always does bathtime at weekends, when he's here!

He rang tonight and is having a great time. I'm very glad because if he wasn't, I'd be furious that he'd gone and was miserable!

Thanks Beans, he perked up after DH came home :). He still isn't eating much, but I managed to get some v diluted juice and milk into him at least. I have no idea what it could be though - will carry on with the ABs and trot back to the GP on Monday if it's still bad.

Grrrrrrr invisible posts again! Vag: there's one big and one small blister on his tongue, now another on the inside if his cheek. There may be more but he won't let me look inside his mouth as the last time I did I shoved some bonjela on which he did not appreciate. The child has a long memory.

Beans: we have given up on the telly and are watching a film. Gregory Oeck getting v wet and muddy .

Peck! Though G oo eck is pretty apt!

Hmm, to have sex I ideally have to not be in the same house as the DCs, which is probably why it doesn't happen that often. And is in fact why DS2 was almost called Lewes, a la posh and becks, as we had a weekend there last spring. We are going away next weekend sans enfants, so had better get contraception sorted pronto or DS3 will be called Bermondsey...

BEans, sadly no advice on the 'bits' question, but I had a lot of problems with T's 'best friend' who has always pushed him around, and I actually said something to his mum, who is a good friend, about it, as I felt it was affecting our friendship. She was a bit taken aback but glad I said something and we agreed that if it got out of hand again I would take T away, and that we would limit their time together (they go to nursery 2x a week together anyway so see each other a lot). It's also interesting because I am v sensitive to it, maybe because I was bullied as a child and would hate the same for T so I may be a little overprotective. But would rather that than let him get hurt in the name of not stirring anything up.

Vag, nice one on the mani and pedi.

Effie sounds like antibiotics may be in order? Bugger BH weekends when kids are sick, hope the bonjela does something.

Jolly, B is very ginger too, from paternal grandmother. Maybe we could introduce them and they could be happy little gingies together.

Trace, T has glue ear and we have a consultation about the grommets next Monday. Will hear what they have to say and make a call, I don't want him to unnecessarily suffer loads more ear infections but have heard of so many cases of them falling out I need convincing it's worth it.

Lady you asked about B in general, sadly his reflux is not better and I think I'd hoped it would be by now, he's still in a lot of pain and is sick a lot and I think he will have some developmental delays because of it (e.g he can't spend long on his tummy because he'll vomit, however long ago the last feed was) and he is still in pain a lot so we cant' do things like put him in a car seat until an hour after a feed because of his hiatus hernia, etc. It's not major, just affects what we do and I would so love to be able to put him down as he can't be on his back for any length of time. Can't wait for him to be able to sit up, I think it'll make a huge difference. Solids too, supposedly, but i suspect they'll just sit in his tummy for a while and then come up anyway as his digestion is so sluggish.

Sorry, missed that DS2 is on antibios already, effie.

Glad the BBQ was good BEans, though it's not you taking DH for granted, the difficult bathtime just highlighted how hard it is on your own. DP is away at a wedding in London tonight, and i just ditched both baths. Scummy but I am a path of least resistance person right now.

Just thought you'd be proud to know that I plan to celebrate my birthday with DH giving me a nice helping of juicy meat.

(have bought a posh steak from the butchers one of the kind where the cow sleeps on a feather bed and gets regular massages, horrendously expensive but may as well try it once and the butcher had some in)

Spot I do feel so sad for poor B, wish there was something that could be done to make his life a little easier. Re lying on his front, would a beanbag be any good as the weight load would be a lot more spread out rather than based around his tummy?

beans very impressed with dd's anatomical knowledge! May as well learn what it's for from a young age. S sometiems shoves her tombliboo toys in that area in the bath, but mostly that just involves me saying "be gentle with your lady bits!"

oh and vag I did laugh at the possible M&S 'bits' confusion! :)

Telling off other peoples' children - in that case it was absolutely justified. And giving the kid a cuddle and a biscuit?? Totally the wrong message. I have corrected other peoples' kids if they're doing something dangerous but the line between what you think is (eg) good manners, and someone else's idea of the same, means it would be pretty hard to discipline in some situations. But when there's the risk of injury then definitely step in.

Oh Beans, thank-you, you've made my day - which to be fair was rather heavy on bed-stripping and laundry We did get out though. DS went to the hairdresser for the first time (prev my-friend-the-hairdresser always cut his hair at her house but she's not around just atm and DS can't see through his fringe) and he was a lamb. He didn't want the big wizard's cape round him so ended up covered in hair - I'm always shocked at how much they cut off and yet how much seems to be left on the child's head - but apart from that he was great. They put one of those little benches across the seat, I hadn't seen one of those in years! It was all very heart-warming, sitting on the banquette waiting for a few minutes, watching other little boys getting their buzz cuts and then having it all spike up with gel afterwards I went along this time to make sure DS didn't come back with aforesaid buzz/gel arrangement (not that DH would want it, but sometimes he's a bit limp in the face of these things!) but from now on it's going to be DH and DS' boy bonding time.

Our other excitement today was getting a new hen! Our hen-keeping has been a bit of a saga, and recently we found ourselves with the incredible non-laying chicken, so we went back today for a replacement. The poor thing, Patch, has been having seven bells knocked out of her all day by the others, but they'll get over it. I hope. DH and DD both think Patch makes her sound like a dog, but I think it's her deep bark that does that

Lady bits: these days we call DD's a "gina" - that's 'eye' not 'eee'. We were having bottom confusion as we'd always just called it a "bottom", but she had a few yeast infections and became necessary to distinguish. We hit on "gina" as it's not going to be confused with anything else, but doesn't make her sound poncy or too gynaecologically specific. Thank god she hasn't yet asked me to identify and label its constituent parts. She's nine though so it has to come up sooner or later. We're not prudish and it's so important to me that she's not ignorant of what her body's going to do or scared by it, though I'm sure we'll all be taken by surprise, so I don't shy away from talking about reproductive matters but I'm not steering the dinner conversation that way, IYSWIM.

Do any of you cook Sunday lunch? I produce a big meal mid-afternoon on a Sunday but it's not always a roast, in fact usually it's not. I like to do it as I love cooking and it gives me a chance to really get stuck into something when I've got time and childcare, though Max loves cooking so I usually get 'help' at some point. I've made myself sound like the little woman now so I think I'll leave it there

oh blimey how could I have forgotten to tell you all - we made another offer on the house we liked (one with all the lodgers so no photos) and it's been accepted so some time this summer we'll be moving to a nice big semi with huge garden :) SL it's on C H Rd on your side of the big roundabout. Am having lots of fun tearing pages out of home magazines as it needs plenty of work, and all the rooms have been painted magnolia [yawn] except the one with vendor's daughters in it, which is wallpapered with Justin Bieber posters.

x post Trudy, DH was quite sad that E came out a girl, he says he always wanted to take a boy to the barbers to sit on one of those planks.

Except to say Spot, sorry to hear B is having such a hard time with his reflux. I have no experience beyond a few difficult weeks with a colicky DS, which was a new and unwelcome experience as DD had no problems like that. I can only try to imagine how much worse reflux and a hiatus hernia must be. Even now DS gets gut rot relieved only by huge trumpetting, but then so do I

JJ that's cute, and a bit sad - about the barbers I mean. Great news about the house!

Trudy glad barbers turned out ok. First time T went he came out looking like Julie Andrews . THough I was there so DP will def take him next time.

Hooray for the house, JJ, that's fab! And a big garden sounds really lovely. Will you move this summer?

DH loves taking the boys to have their haircut, sadly DS2, not so much. But eventually he will and it will be very special.

Sorry DS2 is still having a time of it. Don't worry about the developmental bit and tummy time. When the SIDS advice changed to babies sleeping on their back there were a lot of concerns about development due to babies spending so much of their days on their backs. However, research since has shown that while there is a slight delay in when children roll by the time it got to walking there was almost no difference. The important thing is that once they get the chance to do these things that they work it out for themselves. For example they roll themselves over not have a parent roll them over. It's the working out that is important, not when that working out happens. Also other stimulation is good, so play gyms things to look.at and reach for.

Hooray on the house JJ.

The main reason I asked Effie is because DS2 & I have been getting weird almost pimple like spots on the tip of our tongues lately. For me it starts off as a tingly feeling on the tip of my tongue then ends up with these spots which are really painful. I've been using a chlorhexidine mouthwash which helps but would be interested to see if the ABs help your DS. DS2 is so on & off his food lately I'm not sure it effects his feeding too much, but I know it hurts him.