FEB 2010 Coming on in leaps and bounds and little steps

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Where did our babies go?!
Anywhere and everywhere, the moments our backs are turned!!

DS is size 4. He wears boots if raining and semi open sandals when warm (especially as he gets sweaty feet).

He was born with very dark blue grey eyes which turned grey then brown about 7 months ago.

It was a great weekend childless but we enjoy getting him back this afternoon. Still 3 more days at my mum then back home.

Had a shit day. My brother hit me (in front of DD too). Now I appear to have also fallen out with my mum over her defending him.

DD is a 4.5. Looks like a little golf club when she has her "crocs" on.

What the hell LBH what happened?

Oh my goodness LBH. Are you OK?

Long story but it is on AIBU...I shouldnt really have posted but was so upset and needed to vent. Feel really crappy about the whole thing.

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Oh LBH that sounds awful . Are you sure you are okay?

LBH I posted on the AIBU. You got anyone around with you tonight? Have you stopped shaking yet (I know this is what I would be doing)?

Yeah I am ok. Just feel really down. Thanks PA I saw your post. You made sense. I am going to let the thread die now.

Have told my brother to leave me alone. He has since texted me more saying I only care about DD etc. TBH really annoying crap.
I have only texted back to tell him to leave me alone.

DP has only just got in from work. Has put a pile of curly fries and mayo in front of me to cheer me up. Food makes him feel better.....

Will mull it over in my head for a day or so before I speak to mum.

good to hear it LBH I think having some head space to yourself is a great idea. Give your DD some extra cuddles from us.

LBH of course you care about your dd, she is your daughter! I haven't posted on the other thread, but just to say I am thinking of you. My older brother went through an aggressive phase due to severe depression. My mum did everthing for him but she would never have excused physical aggression towards the rest of us. Please look after yourself - your dd is the toddler, not your brother, and you are not responsible for him.

(LBH, in fact, I just remembered that my mum did call the police once (I was already in the Uk at that point) when my brother turned up, verbally abused my younger brother and threatened my dad with physical abuse. The police caution did the trick and it did not happen again!)

LBH (((hugs))) How are you doing?

You've had some very sensible advice on your thread. FWIW I prob wouldn't go to the police either but you should definitely talk to your mum about her response. You've never said anything good about your brother, just withdraw from the relationship with him even if it hurts your mum and explain to her why you're doing it.

It's lovely that your DP tried to make you feel better with food if that's his way.

And of course you care about DD she's your daughter!! Most non-parents probably can't understand (I doubt that I could pre-DD) but your bro probably has even more difficulty if he does have Asperger's (no excuse for his behaviour though, none at all).

I feel soooooooo much better today even though I had another pretty rubbish night's sleep. OMG I think yesterday was the hardest day of my life post-DD - I was literally falling asleep while looking after her yesterday afternoon. Really scary. I feel utterly pathetic for it hitting me like that but I guess I do have to remember that I'll be affected differently now I'm pg.

DD's a size 4 and has girly cruising shoes and a boy's pair of trainers that DH and I both prefer, so she wears those most often. Must get her measured again actually, it's probably been 2 months.

Thanks Scones I am ok, I really upset with my mum. I know she is just blaming me though. I find it hard to just gloss over things. If she comes over and we dont talk about it, it will feel like the elephant in the room.

Get her measured!! DD went from a 3 to 4.5 in 7 weeks!

LBH I read your thread, but it all seemed to have been said. Hope you are OK today. (I wouldn't report it to the police either, but I would try and broach the topic with your mum and keep your distance from your brother for a bit.) You're a good mum, don't ever lose sight of that.

scones glad you are feeling better.

mous you are like some kind of oracle .

PA are you getting very excited about your trip?

soc are you OK? You are very good at supporting us all on this thread (which is lovely), but never say much about what is going on with you...

Ooh, and I have foot news! DH finally called his private healthcare yesterday and we have an appointment for DD2 at the local private hospital with a consultant orthopaedic paediatrician next week (I'm trying very hard to focus on the positiveness of this and not dwell on the fact that it's taken so long for him to phone, and mostly succeeding). Ironically, the NHS podiatry appointment has also come through for next week. Don't you love it when that happens?!

LBH that really sucks - your brother's violence and your mother's appeasing reaction. Whatever you said that infuriated him, he should never have raised his hand against you. The fact he did it in front of your DD makes it even worse. I understand your mum not wanting to take sides in the argument, but blaming you for his violent reaction is WRONG. I'm not sure what you can do or say to get her to see your point of view without it erupting into another row, but you could try talking to her about it and close the conversation sharpish if it starts to get out of hand.....
Your DD is your top priority and if your brother can't understand that - Aspergers or no - then it is another reason to steer clear of him for the time being.
Curly fries and mayo! Sweet gesture.

Soc, sorry to hear you had probs with your brother too.

Shoes....DD is approx size 18 (was that 2?) - her shoes are still a bit on the big side, but they don't seem to rub and she walks in them very well. Mous is right, you can get smaller sizes here too. They're a bit obsessed with shoes, though. I think some babies wear them completely unnecessarily (pre-walking) and they ain't cheap...

BBB great you found a solution to DD's walking/standing situation! So, she just needed a bit more ankle support to get her going... brilliant!

Glad you're having a nice break, SB!

Daal went down well with DD, PA and everyone else! We gave her some today and she enjoyed noshing it with bread. Great, another one to add to the repertoire!
Fabulous news on your DD's sleeping, btw! Not before time, eh?!

Scones I'm not surprised you're finding it hard to cope with broken nights at the moment. Can your mum or anyone take DD for a few hours so you can get a siesta in?

Bc how brilliant that you're thinking of doing a biz course! Remind me to PM you with a little enterprising idea I've got relating to what you're doing....

DD's nappy rash is finally getting better, thankfully - she's had it for a week, which is very unusual for her. Last night she did five FIVE wees in the space of about 15 mins. Three of them quite substantial and one while she was sitting on my lap. I thought the muslin I was holding underneath her bottom would be enough to blot up any accidents, but nope. Cue a lot of quick leg-rinsing and mopping maneuvers....

DD also decided to pour a bottle of water into her wide open mouth while leaning back as I washed her hair last night. Her coughing-up mechanism worked very well, but it shocked and upset her, not surprisingly. She was back to being cheery again by the end of her bath, but I hope it won't make hair-washing a battle.

And we had a right royal tantrum at the park today because DD wanted to play with another child's ball, but refused to let go of it when it was wanted by the lender.

Mind you, she has just learned to say "wee-wee" and "poo-poo" which should cause some interesting moments when we're back in the UK...! (She doesn't yet apply the words to the correct situations....)

LBH Of course your DD comes before anybody! Sorry about your tough time. Hope you can make your mum understand.

BBB I am confundled What did I do to deserved the praised?

PA Would you run in the woods with slippers? That's why DD2 have proper shoes (not to mention that they don't do leather things in her sized here). Actually I don't understand how you can get away with those once the LO are walking? (I not criticising, it is a genuine question). Everywhere she doesn't need shoes, she is bare foot.
I am with you though, I dislike the designed baby footwear which has no purpose other than fashion.

They are not flimsy fabric, but not really hard either. Actually I am quite fond of bare foot outdoors. Also we don't really deal with mud, rain here etc.

When I said I was confused that wasn't a criticism more that I didn't understand what type of shoes are for when. I have asked on another thread and am now quite happy with my understanding and what we do. I'm following the 'if you ever think you could do with proper shoes then that's when you need them' school of thought.

dd2 just walked up to me, patted my arm, called me a doll and walked away again... I take it as a compliment

SC That made me actually LOL

Mous, you are an authority on everything! That's why I doffed my cap to you.

LBH Hope you are ok today. There's no excuse for your brother being physically violent with you, and your mum should not be blaming you for what happened.

BBB Good news about the appointments. Will you be going to both?

DS is a size 4 (20 european?) and has been for ages. Got him measured again 6 to 8 weeks after first shoes but no change. He was weighed again yesterday when we went for the last MMR jab (and last jab until he is 3 thank God) and has gone down to between the 9th and 25th centiles. He was on the 25th last time. He is quite little - still in 9-12 month clothes but he eats well and poos a lot (more of which later) so I am not too worried.

My friend has the week off so she took me and DS out for my birthday treat to the London Aquarium. It was really good if a bit touristy - DS loved the penguin bit and got to touch a starfish (involuntary snigger there - 'touch a starfish' just sounds rude) and was generally delightful. He even fell asleep just as we went into yo sushi for lunch and stayed asleep until we'd finished. They have high chairs and they gave him a helium balloon and it wasn't busy at all so I recommend it if anyone is ever going to the south bank - it's just behind County Hall. The places actually on the river like Giraffe are usually rammed.

After we ate we walked along the south bank - they've got a temporary little sandy beach and boardwalk and beach huts there at the moment.

Then we got home and DS had done a poo whilst on the train home so I thought it would be ok to let him have some bare bum time - he toddled off with a banana while I got sidetracked on a stupid thread about middle classness on mumsnet and when I went to look for him - he was bothering the cat by trying to show her his balloon - I trod in something and screamed because I thought it was a slug (they get in through the letterbox) but it was worse - it was baby shit. All over my foot and I'd squished it down between the floorboards. Disgusting.

Anyway apart from the poo it was a great day and he's gone to sleep without a murmer (unlike last night) and I just pray we don't start the day at 4 fucking 45 am again tomorrow.

I am ok ish BC My mum is coming over tomorrow to look after DD as I am working from home. We haven't spoken but she texted me to ask what shopping I need.

Your DS is same size as DD by the sound of it. She woke 4 times last night, I have been up since 4am myself. Although she woke for the day at 5.20am.

I slept funny last night, I assume, as I cannot move my head to the left at all, it kills. No draft either. TBH I dont feel as if I slept at all
Driving to and from work was awkward!

Good luck for tomorrow LBH, get DP to give you massages

I'm taking a sick day as I was still awake at 4am. DD has had a few resettles the past few nights but not until late in the night.

DD is still loving shaking her head and saying no even if she then does what asked/offered straight afterwards, is taking a too healthy interest in her nappy contents at changing time and has gone back to not eating dinner. Oh well, she's still adorable and cute.

bear did DS try and pull the starfish's arm off

beth hope your sleep and work is OK. Are your boys into their books yet?