April 2011-kicking back drinking lactulose cocktails and riding the maternity surfboards

[Petalouda]

Post-natal thread for all the antenatal April 2011 Family!

Share the birth stories, the baby blues and everything else.

Too much to catch up with in my exhaustion. I've read through but I think I need to take notes as I forget who I should be replying too and then am too apathetic to read back.

Seriously? I envy those of you with interfering hands on mother in laws/relations. I'd pay someone to take the baby off my hands for an hour or so. But then I have two very high maintenance four year olds hassling me for attention the whole time so I'm feeling stretched a little thin. And my in laws are rubbish this time around - one visit for half a day a week after he was born even though he spent a stretch in NICU/SCBU and was very poorly.

Fatty is five weeks old (incredible).

Congratulations cookie hope you're recovering well and having fun with your little man!

Can I join the club for babies who Will Not Go To Sleep please. G slept for a whole hour and a half last night between 3.30 and 5.00 and I am getting so frustrated with spending all day and night rocking, sshhhing and patting to absolutely zero effect I can be doing it for more than 3 hrs at a time and he still wont be asleep...more often than not I'm standing there with my muscles burning from hours of standing and rocking, absolutely desperate to get some sleep watching the sun come up and thinking that in another couple of hours DP will be off to work and I'll have another 12 hours of it on my own.. what am I doing wrong????

We did manage to go back to sleep between about six and eight and then been awake all day despite more cuddling, soothing and rocking. He does go all heavy eventually, cue elated feeling from me that we can have a nap then I'll put him down and within 2 minutes he'll start twitching and whimpering and wake himself up. The poor boy must be shattered. he;s finally asleep now in the crook of my arm but only because he fell asleep feeding which means I havent burped him which means fun and games later.

Any advice?? he's 4 weeks old now and he seems to be sleeping less and less :(

lucie - get a sling. It sends T off every time, and although we don't use it at night and he does wake up when removed from it, it means that I can get him to nap reliably when he just won't settle during the day - and so you break the cycle of them being too tired to drop off.

T has slept since 12, woken once for a feed then conked out again. DS1 went down for a nap earlier and I've left him faaaar too long. Bedtime will be fun, not.
I got a nap though - hurrah! First one i've been able to have when it has been me on my own with the boys :)

Congratulations on your nap Ali! I can only imagine the fun of getting your boys to sleep simultaneously! I've got a Moby sling, havent quite mastered the art of it yet but will practice with DP tonight - I need to register G at the docs tomorrow and as he practically blows a gasket whenever I put him in the pram I may need to walk him over there in the sling anyway.

So do you think the fact that he hasn't slept is contributing to him not sleeping? it's weird he'll generally be quiet and just at the point I'm thinking he might drop off he'll start crying again for seemingly no reason??

That does sound like over-tiredness to me. DS1 used to fight sleep dreadfully and we used to get into awful cycles of him being too tired to sleep.
I didn't have a sling when he was little, I really wish I had, and so we used to put him in the carseat and go out for a drive to settle him.

Lucie have you got a car? Sometimes you can get them off to sleep by going for a little drive and then when they're in deep sleep transfer them out of car seat and into bouncy chair or basket. I wouldn't worry about making a rod for your back at this age, nothing you can't change when they're a little older. For now it's more important just to get them to sleep any way you can.

Oh and Ali I cracked the Kari Me!! Thanks for your advice. I'm elated and loving it! S spent 5hrs yesterday in it when we took DS to the museum to see the dinosaurs. Brilliant!

Congratulations! 86Cookie

Lucie sounds like over-tiredness to me too. G will sometimes be awake for hours on end, then gets really cross and screams and screams, I can't seem to soothe him, but he will usually fall asleep if taken out in the pram or the car. the only problem is he wakes up again once the motion has stopped. We have also found out just by chance that he likes to be held across your arm apparently its called the ' Tiger in the Tree hold' if you google it you will find a good description. It seems to help bring up wind and DH has got it to a fine art. I tend to find it harder as when I pick G up he only wants one thing and that is my boob!

Other news is I didn 't get the job They interviewed 4 candidates for 2 jobs and apparently they had 3 good candidates (me included) but the other 2 were better. I asked for feedback on my interview and told I was good but the other candidates better which is not much help to me if I want to improve my interview technique in the future! Perhaps it was a bit too much really to expect myself to be at the top of my game interview wise with a month old baby. Going to give myself a few more months before I start looking again and at least I know I can go back to my self employed locum work if needs be.

Congrats Cookie

Lucie yup, sounds like overtiredness, in fact we have a similarly overtired S currently being cuddled/jiggled by DH. S has gone past the crying and screaming to just looking forlorn and wimpering. It's both heartbreaking to look at while rather amusing at how pathetic he manages to look!

jen I'm sorry you didn't get the job, but just think how much easier your next interview will seem in comparison! (and I agree the "you were good but the others better" feed back is a PITA, great but not much help!)

nice to see most of the the April family are struggling with overtired babies!

Beetle we also have the pathetic whimpering thing too. it's amusing at times.

Thanks to whoever recommended the sensational sleep Plan book, I picked it up from the library this avo. Just need to read it now.

,Kit - I've said before how I can't see how people can wrangle more than one small child

What a shame about the job jen - not terribly helpful feedback either!

On the subject of crying, not settling etc, sometimes when G is having a crying fit it's like he's trying to squirm out of my arms and he's sort of pummelling and scratching me with his arms and thrashing his legs about? Any idea what might be up?? Is this just general unhappiness due to being overtired or something more specific do you think?

thanks for the congrats !
We are settling in nicelt although we are having a bit of a battle at the moment with the moses basket.
He seems to sleep in it for approx half hour to an hour then will not settle back into it, any suggestions ?
Petal Im in the same dummy situation, the HV told me it was fine to give him a dummy as he like to suck his and ours, fingers. But noe when he is settled, spits it out and screams !

T is a dummy spitter too, really annoying!

We have being trying to settle him for bed for an hour and a half.

lucie - leg kicking here is generally wind/poo that needs to come out.

Had P's PN check with the Dr. today and all is well. She looked at P's weight chart and said the HV who told me to top up feed was talking a load of rubbish as her rate of growth was fine. We then had a good old mutual rant about HV's (she has a 9mo old DS). Her son was 10lbs, didn't put weight on one week and the HV insisted on returning the following week to check weight gain. She said she argued that at 10lb he was hardly going to waste away and after that she took him to baby clinic once and hasn't been back since.

It was my birthday today and DH got me a Kindle. I've been reading the latest Sookie Stackhouse this evening whilst BF, it's great not having to turn the pages.

Hasn't all been good today unfortunately. DS cut his cheek open when he tripped over the doorstep up at his nan's house this afternoon. Birthday cake helped aid his recovery but he's got a big bruise and is probably going to have a nice shiner for his preschool photo next week

Oh My God will this child ever sleep? He's had 3 half-hour sleeps since 4pm. Every time he drops off he wakes as soon as I put him down, like the opposite of those freaky dolls whose eyes close as they're laid down.

He's I'm so over-tired it's unreal.

DH is finally home and crashed out upstairs. F's in his bouncy chair in the darkened lounge with me, doing excited faces and cute little noises (him, not me) trying to get me to play with him.

How long till sleep deprivation drives one insane?

Jo great to hear From you and that Conor is doing so well.

Congrats 86cookie re the Moses basket we make sure s is swaddled before we settle him and out cold before we put him in. A friend used to put a hit water bottle in hers to warm it for a while before putting her D's down...

Sorry about the job Jen and agree they could tell you more than that. Well done though.

happy birthday for yest liv Your doc sounds fab. Oh your poor Ds. Hope he's ok.

Hugs to all of those not sleeping.

Sam is a week old today. Where did that week go. We are settling in nicely and I'm loving being a mummy. We're off to the inlaws today and it's the first time I've seen mil since she put sam in his basket so I'm a bit anxious. I don't take well to advice even if it's well intentioned. April ladies excluded as I
would be lost without you! We registered him yesterday :-)

Oh and tmi alert. I am no longer constipated. Huge effort but feel a million times better now.

Petal I sympathise with you. L wouldn't settle for me after three hours. Did everything I could but nothing would work and she was crying with over tiredness. In the end dh got up at 1am and settled her in about 5 mins! That would have been good but he was up at 5 this morning for work!!! Feel like a bad mummy today after yelling at L last night to just go to sleep because mummy was knackered!

Jen - they could have told you a bit more than that couldn't they? Well done for even thinking about work at this stage though, I'm planning to leave it about another 3 years!

Jo - it is great to hear that Conor is doing so well :)

Liv - happy birthday for yesterday! Good news about the weight etc, I share your low opinion of HVs!
I bought myself a Kindle while I was pregnant, and I love it - so good for when you are feeding.
Hope DS heals up quickly :)

Petal - I hope you got some sleep eventually. Will F nap with you during the day if you feed him to sleep on your bed, so that you can catch up a bit?

kitty - don't worry about MIL, just be pleasant and confident and the natural pecking order (ie. you then her) will fall into place.

T slept in his bed last night! 11.30-3am and then 3.30-6.15am
I am not gloating, just grateful - DH in particular was hanging by a thread!

DH the one knackered here too (well obv I'm tired but have nothing on all day, he's got work until late tonight).
DS2 was up loads coughing & crying, needing his inhaler & Calpol as he was burning up. Calpol then gives him the runs so needs nappy changes. fun.
We've sent him off to pre-sch with instructions to call if he needs collecting - they need to see how he gets with coughs & colds and there's nothing majorly wrong with him, we just still aren't on top of his asthma.

DD was good though, as long as she sleeps in with us, tucked into the duvet the same as us (which isn't advised but it's the best way she sleeps). I will try and get her in the crib once DS2 is better i think.

Kitty - i'm still taking some laxatives every few days as i'm too scared after getting constipated again last week. one day i may get back to normal

Petal - sympathies, hope you both get some sleep today.

looks like there is something in the water(milk) all these non sleepimg babies.
DS wont not settle for longer than an hour, would not take the dummy , so was bf most of the night.
To top it all spent all night in the bed with us , again its not recommended, but what can you do if its the only way they will sleep.
petal i do feel for you !!
i dont know if its any help but mu excercise ball that i used when i was pregnant works a treat with DS. if i sit and bounce with him it sends him to sleep almost instantly . it could be worth a ttry if you have one.

86Cookie that's genius about the yoda ball! Shame mine's packed away already.

F managed about an hour on me at about 3 am, then finally slept at 6 am. (I was then woken at 7ish when the police raided the house opposite! V dramtic!)

We're going to try the feed & nap routine suggested in this book today. Feed 1 & nap 1 successful so far, and I've slept too !

Hopefully he won't be prohibitively overtired by tonight.

Thanks for the sympathies, Venting here is an unbelievable help!

I feel B is bucking the trend here. All he does is sleep.

Last night the BF peer supporter came round to help me. Another story, but she is of the opinion our problems are Tongue Tie related as I am doing everything right. (gold star for me!) B got his usual boob related screaming going to begin with then, out of nowhere became a serene baby and sat in my arms wide awake and silent [traumatised]. Peer suppporter left just after 9, we fed him and laid him in his pram expecting him to wake for a feed at midnight. Midnight came and went so we just picked him up and took him upstairs with a bottle to feed him when he did wake. He only started to grizzle at 3.30 he took half his feed then went back to sleep. Woke at 6.30 and had a full feed then came back to bed with me until 10am!! I'm in shock!! If I'd know at 9 he would sleep through til 3 I would have gone to bed then!! He is currently sleeping again, but I will have to wake him to get ready for the BFing clininc at 2.

Oh and I got a paid or normal jeans on yesterday! granted they were my pre pregnancy fat jeans, but yay!

pair of one handed typing not my best skill!!

Can't complain about sleeping here either as yet! R is sleeping a bit less during the day but still sleeps well at night so long may it continue!!

I tried on some jeans last week, got them on but there was no-way the button was gonna fasten, might try them again this week although I know I haven't lost anymore weight. Saying that I can't moan since I lost 3/4 of my pregnancy weight in the first 2 weeks, so if I go on the 9 months on, 9 months off principle, then I have 8 months to shift half a stone!

I'm feeling your pain those of you with smoking relatives. MIL has informed me she will not smoke in the same room as R until she is 4 months old as that what she did with the rest of her grandchildren well I hate to break it to her that we won't be visiting EVER if that's the case!!! It was her birthday last week and we had to go and visit her at her partners house to drop off cards and flowers etc and I was dreading it. They both smoke like chimneys all over the house and I really didn't want to take R down but DP promised we'd only stay 5 minutes. Anyway as it happened there was a houseful of people all drinking and smoking :( 2 of them had the decency to go into the kitchen to smoke when we came in but MILs partner had obviously decided that since it was his house he was going nowhere and continued to smoke in the living room!! He then took R for a cuddle and proceeded to stick his finger in her mouth!!!!!!!!! Gaaaaaaaah!! DP told him to stop and we left soon after. I know in someone elses house I can't lay down the law but it just means we will be visiting as little as possible. My mum smokes but no longer does so in her house because of R, I don't see why MIL can't do the same, I don't think it's too much to ask for your grandchild really??