Dec 08 - tears, tantrums, giggles and piddles - and that's just the mums!

[traceface]

Or maybe piddling whilst giggling is just me?
It's so sunny here I feel Spring has sprung - where's that daffodil emoticon gone? Had a friend round this morning for a natter and cake - muchos snot and tears but all good. Think I might go for a little bike ride now to blow the cobwebs away.
And no vag - not a chance!
rubs don't you dare spend all your time tweeting - your first loyalty is here!

Thanks for the advice Jam (& others). You are right that I need to give her some control but also be consistent with boundaries. I do sometimes give her choices of outfits and sometimes those choices are limited and other times not so I need to be consistent. Two choices each day is good. I got her into a skirt and t shirt today (success!) but after I left for work DH reported she'd insisted on doing the school run with her sandals on the wrong feet and odd socks pulled up to her knees...

I am in total agreement about not wanting to celebrate the killing of a was of a disparate and cellular terrorist organisation. I have to say I feel less safe now than before. I am v aware that DH and I work in what is arguably THE most iconic terrorist target in the UK and when the threat level rises we are made v aware of it. I worry more about DH than myself (for no logical reason) and for some reason I have thought about our vulnerability more this week than ever before (my girls, my girls, what would happen to my girls???).

On a lighter note, are you still shredding Nolda? It's a great regime Trace. Hard work but worth it if you can stick to it. I do it in fits and starts.

Exciting about the imminent move, Lady. I know that it has been a long process (and very hard work) for you.

Hi, Arti. Yes, I have been continuing to shred and have been mixing it up with some of Jillian's other DVD's but have been thwarted at the moment by breaking my right big toe. I have caught myself wondering if I could still shred and just do boxing for each cardio section ... so it's official, I'm shredding nuts!

I also agree about not wanting to celebrate the killing of Bin Laden, can't see that it has improved things.

I'm impressed by your DD's language, Lady, but then she was always streets ahead in that department. Having been very cool about my DS's slow progress with his speech, I have finally given in to DH's nagging and rung the health visitor today. She will come and do a two year check on Monday (they don't do them for all children in our area, only if parents feel there may be a problem). DS does understand what we say to him, so I expect she'll just say he's a slow talker and will get there in the end. He has, however, started freaking out and acting really scared about something over the last few days and I really wish he could tell me what it is all about.

New baby moral dilemma: finally got her to sleep, and a sleep which should be the beginning of an all night sleep, not the cat naps she teases us with normally, and she goes and does what sounds like a mahoosive poo. what do you do? I've left it, thinking I'll change her at the first feed when she's more likely to go back to sleep. Please don't report me to social services.

I'd leave it wg - she'll wake up if she's uncomfortable. But then I am a very lazy relaxed sort of mother about these things.

Nolda really nice to hear from you - and very impressed by your shredding. Good luck with the HV. I am much more relaxed about DDs speech now but was worried about it for a while and she's still months and months behind where DS was. Hard not to compare but I try not to. Really odd thing is that she gets opposites wrong all the time (calls downstairs up, on off, me daddy). Knowing her though there is every chance she is taking the piss.

Agree with all of you about celebrating OBL death - although when I first heard the news my reaction was to be slightly pleased. Which was odd - shocked myself slightly - have never been pleased to hear someone was dead before, no matter how awful. Only thing I would say about worrying about whether we are more or less safe is that from what I understand AQ in as much as it is an anything isn't an organisation that goes in for anniversaries or specific triggers. The kind of nut jobs that want to kill us don't need a symbolic reason in the way that other terrorist orgs do. Arti I know what you mean about worrying where you work. I do too. Although I think we're pretty well protected, and actually I really believe you're no more or less safe anywhere really. Apart from lovely remote places. Cheery.

In better news though really lovely to have you back vag. We missed you . Sounds blissful. Pizza in italy reminds you that everything else is a travesty really.

ZJ really good news about your friend's baby, and yes not eating lemon cake probably sackable offence. Would be in my book.

Thanks for asking LadyT nanny was really pleased about the baby - she knew about the mc at christmas so was really lovely. So exciting that you're finally moving into your house.

Arti I was thinking some more about your DD (and mine) and wondering whether one of the issues is getting hot. I definitely sometimes feel very claustrophobic if I'm wearing too much and as a child did a fair bit of stripping off (as a child, mind ). I know my DD has a pretty high body temp naturally - and she gets rip roaring temps when ill so wonder whether as well as being a stroppy madam she just gets hot and uncomfortable quite quickly. We have had more success with peppa pig pants as she's more keen to keep them on. Also fine leggings under sundress.

Right, must sleep...night all x

First feed - changed: TINY poo. Good call, urbs.

at sandals on the wrong feet and odd socks Arti, sounds like my DD. Last week we went to the supermarket with her in shorts, tshirt, a booble hat and gloves! I thought of you this morning, as DD was so deep asleep and difficult to rouse I got her dressed while she was still asleep. Thought that could solve your problem!

Ouch to your toe Nolda

WG I would have said the same as Urbs, when DD was tiny she often fell asleep within seconds of doing a poo, as if by getting it out meant she was more comfortable.

Your nanny sounds really lovely Urbs, she's not daunted by another one to look after then?

Hey Ladies, have you voted yet? The polling station is next to our new house which proved handy this morning. This was my first vote in a referendum and I have to say it was refreshing voting for something with a clear outcome. When you vote for a candidate you can never be sure what you'll get if they win but with a referendum you know it will do exactly what is says on the tin.

D'oh I meant to vote on the way in. Will have to this evening instead. I heart voting . thanks for reminding me arti. Was utterly distracted by discovering that I'd completely forgotten about our nanny going on holiday at the end of the month. Err does anyone want to look after 2 extra children for a couple of weeks?

I haven't voted as we're potty training. Bugger. How am I going ot get there when we're potty watching??

So far, 4 wees on potty, no accidents!!! Fingers crossed.

Yep did it last wk by post.

Urbane, DS says down for up and down. In fact he makes very good use of the few words he can say, for example, in Eddie language shoe can mean a shoe, a bed, a garage or a bowl.

WG, I would probably have pretended not to have heard the poo.

Nice one on the potty training, Beans. We haven't started yet, but I've already got myself into a tizz about potty training a boy. I bought a book called Potty Training Boys the Easy Way which I don't think has helped with the tizziness at all. I have been following it as far as asking DS if he wants to wear pants today when he gets dressed. He says no and I breathe a sigh of relief.

Argh I've got post holiday sleepiness. After a rousing effort yesterday to get all the holiday washing and cat hair cleaned up I've completely lost all motivation and want to sleep. DS1 wants to go to a park that has a skate ramp which is about 15 mins cycle away, but I just don't think I can muster the effort.

I am completely ignoring all this TT talk, how is it that I went away for only a week but sudfebtiy children are wearing undies! I have to say by this stage DS1 was toilet trained and had been for almost 2 months. But I must have been crazy, as he was a lot less verbal than DS2. We are going to Australia for Christmas and it would be nice to be nappy free by then but for now I'll procrastinate.

Urbs, to be fair to the UK they do a much nicer line in supermarket pizza than many other countries. Waitrose mushroom & mascapone pizza is one of the top 5 things I miss about the UK.

I feel really uncomfortable about the Osama killing, esp the grief that poor old Pakistan is getting. I'm glad they have decided to not show any photos of the raid. DH & I did have giggle yesterday. The CNN news managed to dig up some plumber from Abbottabad, who was apparently deeply distressed that he had somehow been a party to the terrorists in the compound because he had been the plumber for the compound. Bless him.

How long does potty training take???! So far, have had about 8 or 9 wees in the potty, which is great. But also 4 on the floor through her pants and a poo on the floor too. It is exhausting! Want someone else to do it for me!

And then what do I do about car journeys of more than 20 mins??!

Oh Beans I'm starting to twitch just reading your post. I remember that feeling all to well, its so all consuming, it was the first time I think I ever regretted giving up work and not having DS1 in child care, exactly because it all depended on me. DH worked fairly long hours back the. I was literally on my knees with the effort and concentration required to TT DS1. All I can say is the portable potty & pull ups were the bright rays of sunshine in a very dark period of my life.

Beans you spend a wk at home not going out putting her on the potty every 30 mins you will have days where she pees and poos everywhere and then a day when it is all ok. It is exhausting. Personally I would say if by day 3 she is still not getting it abandon it and try again in a couple of months. But then I go for the lazy approach and wait until they are almost 3 and do it then much quicker and easier.

Just had the lovely Rubes & SL round for lunch with all the DC. Was lovely to finally meet Rubes and see SL again the children were delightful. ALthough mine were a little tiresome. DS2 greeted RUbes by climbing up to the work top to get a carving knife! I beg of you. The dog terrorised them all but DS1 and SL's DS got on like a house on fire playing in the sandpit.

Oh and refrain as best you can from headbutting anyone who says "really? Is it really that difficult?" When you mention how hard you are finding it.

And yes everything Jam said, there is nothing wrong with giving up for a while.

Jam the carving knife made me giggle.

I think I'm coming down with something, Im achy and the shattered feeling hasn't gone away.

beans 8 hits and 5 misses sounds quite good, but even 5 misses would reduce me to tears. So not looking forward to it. I was talking about TT with a workmate today who has a DD of a similar age and we reckon that it's possible to go from nappies straight into old person incontinence pants (assuming the size difference isn't too great) and therefore delay until age 18, when they are adults and responsible for themselves

Going to vote on my way home, with DD. I also love it Urbs, although I'm not sure why, probably because it makes me feel important and responsible and grown up (none of which I normally am)

Sounds like you've had a lovely day Jam, Rubes and Summer, regardless of offensive weapons

Hot toddy for you Vaj and an early night

Beans, with DD I didn't leave the house (with DD) until day 5 and then for only 30 mins. I found one of these very helpful and also had one of those portable potties which you put a bag in which absorbs the wee (or most of it!).

Beans : your post gave me the shivers too. Give it a go, but if it's too stressful pull-ups can give you a really valuable breathing space. And if it really isn't working, leave it for a bit. If it's warm, take her knickers off and let her wee in the garden instead ;).

Vag: sorry to hear you're feeling dodgy.

Urbane: how are you feeling?

LadyT: best of luck with the move!

Arti: you've had some great advice re clothes, I find it hard to tell what is a genuine concern and what is DS1/2 pulling a fast one. I hate anything round my neck or wrists (I have to have my watch strap fairly loose), as does DS1, so it could be a sensory thing?
I have more to say but the phone is about to eat this. Grrrrrrr.

Aargh the phone ate my post! So I'm trying to retype this then c&p.

Can I offload into the basket a little? I'm finding this patenting lark a bit tricky at the moment. In some ways I love having two preschoolers, but I'm also worried I'm not doing the best I can for them. It's funny that I was happy to trust my instincts when they were babies, but now I could really do with some nice clear instructions.

DS2 is more or less fine, especially now I've finally got him some reins (backpack style) so he can walk when we are out and about. He is so happy that I feel bad for not doing it earlier. DS1 was so much more independent at this age.

It's DS1 who is worrying me actually. I know 4 can be a tricky age and our routine has gone a bit to pot recently thanks to bank hols and DH working so much. DS1 has started chewing on his sleeves which really worries me. I used to chew on odd things (clothes, paper) but I was an anxious child and I don't want him to be like that. I mentioned it to DH and he said, 'Oh I used to chew my tie. Sign of being maladjusted.' Thanks .

Have any of you with older ones experienced something similar? I've been firmer with bad behaviour from DS1 (hitting, shouting - him not me!) so I'm worried I've been too strict and have broken him somehow :(

Oh Effie, you poor thing. Just about to go pick up DH but didnt want to leave you hanging.

Having seen your parenting skills in action I can honestly say you are a fab mother. Your boys are super little chaps with great personalities. DS1 was so patient with Archie and Lachlan and DS2 is also a great character. YOu are doing a marvellous job. Am sure someone else will be along for you in a mo with more proactive advice but just remember you are doing a fantastic job of raising 2 delightful boys.

Eff, I can so sympathise with the terrible guilt of feeling you may have ruined your child's chance of psychological happiness by passing on your own issues. I feel terrible that, despite desperately not wanting to pass my vomit phobia onto the DDs, DD1 has started to express anxiety about food hygiene. She is four too.I think it's the age when worries begin to be a factor in their lives because they understand more and are expected to do so much themselves. So I don't think it's unusual for the pure innocent enjoyment of the world to be lost at this age.

Other then ensuring you don't model anxious behaviour, which I've clearly failed at, I think the best you can do as a mum is make sure DS knows you love him unconditionally. And I'm sure you do that. Being a bit strict is fine, even good, as he needs boundaries and guidance. And don't worry too much. Is it just sleeve chewing or does he seem worried? Sleeve chewing is just like thumb sucking or comforter carrying: not unusual at all.

Lovely afternoon with SL and Jam and co. will put some pics on FB if ok with you Summer? the carving knife incident was both and Jam just calmly puts it back while I recovered from near heart failure! What characters they both are! And the junior Summers exceptionally cute as well. dS slept most of the way home then woke in a rage and still hasn't calmed down. After dd being upset all day she giggled all the way home and hasn't cried since so very odd. Right dh not coping with ds very well so must go back later

Thank you Jam and Arti :). That's a lovely thing to say about the boys, Jam. Arti: that's interesting about the worrying, I hadn't thought about it like that. DS1 is a bit sad today. I asked him if he had a nice or not-nice day and he said 'not-nice'. He won't say what's up though, I guess if he is worried he doesn't know how (or want) to articulate it.

The meet-up sounds lovely, I was at boring old work (boo!).