Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Post-natal clubs

Join our Postnatal Clubs forum to find parenting advice for newborns.

Original poster

Jan 2008 - I´m 3 and I own the world

846 replies

mixedmamameansbusiness · 03/03/2011 12:59

It was getting desperate and since MrsMCJnr suggestion came in last and I was being lazy I just went for that - hope that is ok.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
simpson · 07/10/2011 13:53

JKS - I felt exactly the same re sitting there and not defending J Sad

J blossoms in school now an is top in everything

Well, another school problem

I have been helping out in J &M's school yesterday and today helping to audit all the reading books as not one child has got a reading book yet in infants Shock

Anyway, M's nursery teacher happened to be walking past and she asked for a quick word and basically said that although M is settling in ok (no crying for me etc, apart from this morning which is the first time ever) she does not mix with the other children very well and prefers to play with the teachers. She also said M's speech is truly exceptional (at least 2yrs ahead!!) and maybe this is why M would rather be with adults. She said they are all tying to help her but just to make me aware etc.....

latrucha · 07/10/2011 14:55

Oh the marvels of parenting eh? Either their too far behind or too far ahead. Now if we could all just sit down nicely and be average, everything would be fine wouldn't it? Wink

Fillybuster · 07/10/2011 15:40

JKS - I'm so Angry for you, but can't express anything better than LaT and Simpson already have here.

I'm Shock at the teacher and the way she expressed herself, but I don't think you've got too much to worry about in terms of T's development...boys really do seem to be completely different to girls at this stage. Maybe forever...HmmGrin

A had similar issues to J, and did end up with some SN help in reception and yr1, although I felt weird about accepting it as I knew he didn't have 'real' SN (you know what I mean). I think it helps that he really loves arts and crafty type stuff, so it was easy to introduce lots of the fine-motor skills stuff into that sort of play. It did help, I think, and so did just growing up a bit and learning to cope with the expectations of school. I can't remember when T's birthday is, but I know that A has also massively struggled with being 11 months younger than many of the kids in his class (it doesn't help that the 'nearest' birthday to his is in early June, so the gap is massive) - I know he still cries at school, probably a lot more than other kids in yr 2, but he's getting there, slowly.

One thought - after we had a similar session (although less shocking!), we went back and had a really productive 1:1 session with the teacher - could you do that? Say that you want to discuss things in more detail (and with less time pressure) and discuss exactly what you can do to help T, and what she is going to do, and perhaps agree a 'progress' meeting in 4 weeks time, or something, so you can stay on top of it all?

FWIW Tamara is that annoying 'perfect' little girl. Sorry Grin

latrucha · 07/10/2011 17:37

S might be too, for all I know (she's still in Playschool). There's nothing wrong with those little girls. They just are often held up as perfect, when actually they are perfect at doing a certain kind of thing which isn't necessarily the be-all and end-all.

I thought I was being mad Christas shopping but it seems that everyone is at it!

I need to find money for a camcorder for DH's 40th too. I don't know quite where it's coming from.

Feeling a little fragile today as it's 3 years since mum died tomorrow. DH has a lot of work on, is going to work the weekend and needs me to do some of it when the kids are in bed. I feel I need a bit less pressure right now not more He hasn't remembered, and there's no good reason why he should and he hasn't done anything wrong (a deadline was suddenly imposed on him) but just feel I may come apart a bit at the edges a bit and hope I have time to say something before I do. in fact, I might give him the heads up in an email now. That would be sensible, wouldn't it?

simpson · 07/10/2011 17:49

yes Lat I would email. Be kind to yourself this weekend Smile

M will definately not be held up as a "perfect" pupil Hmm Her homework for nursery this wk is to bring something in that begins with the letter M. She said "I am fed up with M, I want to do P" Hmm

latrucha · 07/10/2011 20:04

Sabela is impossible to t each too - although he seems to learn very well. At the moment, she want to read by herself but gets frustrated that she can't read. She asks me to read to her. I read a sentence and she repeats it, then I get halfway through the next one and she puts her hand on my lips saying, 'No. Shush. I'm the teacher.' Well, I'm very glad I'm not at any rate!

simpson · 08/10/2011 19:44

poor M's face is black & blue this morning Sad

Yesterday afternoon she fell from the top step right down the stairs and cut her eye and has lots of swelling on her cheek Sad

She was up a few times in the night saying she was sore but has been ok today despite looking worse for wear Grin

Have had words with M about how it is polite if people talk to her to reply so will have to see if that makes a difference at nursery on monday...

Fillybuster · 08/10/2011 20:55

Sending you lots of love today, LaT. Have pmd you xx

JKSLtd · 09/10/2011 20:16

Thanks Filly - that does help :) & i do know what you mean about 'real SN' - i also feel that T doesn't have that but at the same time whatever we can access right now to help him, we will.

We have written a letter, ready to deliver tomorrow - cannot believe that i have turned into a letter-writing-parent like those parents i used to hid from years ago (taught in a prep sch with quite aggressive parents). One always wrote on blue paper with matching envelopes - you had to hide the sigh & eye-rill when her DS appeared with yet another blue letter.

LaT - also thinking of you, hope you have made it through this weekend ok :)

latrucha · 09/10/2011 20:41

Thankyou ladies. Well, the weekend was got through sos that's good enough.

Can I ask what you do if an older one hrts a younger one? Sabela and Daniel generally bash each other about and I deliberately ignore most of it but recently Sabela has put her hands round D's neck several times. I have told her off of course and explained why, put her in her room etc but I have resorted to telling her that if there is a next time I'm going to smack her bottom. I'm not a smacker really but I feel I've tried everything else I can think of. She also pinched him really hard today. We just had a talk about this really as it's not dangerous but Ir eally don't like the neck thing.

Fillybuster · 10/10/2011 10:35

LaT - I understand your frustration but I think smacking S will just confirm to her that 'bigger' people can hit 'littler' ones and get away with it....or make her think you've got double standards! We've had this occasionally, mostly when rowdy play gets out of hand, and it is really difficult to deal with - I try to respond really quickly with an instant punishment (regardless of whether it was an 'accident' and without too much discussion as I think both T and A are now old enough not to need more explanations)....

Our punishments are quite small, but even something like "no dessert" for the next meal (even if that is just fruit), or refusing to play with the offender and focussing on the other one for 20 minutes etc etc seems to drive the message home. HTH

latrucha · 10/10/2011 11:18

she would hate me playing with d alone for 20 minutes. Two! Thanks for that Filly.

simpson · 10/10/2011 11:55

if there is hitting in our house (usually M hitting J tbh) then M knows there will be consequences it has been no pudding (as M loves hers!!) like filly says but the main thing that seems to be working atm is loss of a toy.

If M hits J she is removed and put on naughty step etc and when she comes off naughty step she is told if she hits him again she will be back on naughty step and she will lose what ever toy/not be able to use scooter to school the next day etc. It seems to work well, for now anyway!!! Grin Grin

latrucha · 13/10/2011 19:02

Well, it hasn't happened since so I guess she thinks I have double standards, Filly!

latrucha · 13/10/2011 19:03

Simps - do you know what are you getting M for Christmas?

simpson · 13/10/2011 21:06

She has asked for a barbie doll (got it from, tescos for £3) and a hugglebuddy which arrived today from ebay for £8.

About a yr ago I bought J a vtech smile reduced to £15 which he still plays with and because it was such a bargain I bought 2!!!

The other one is in my toyshop attic. So think I will give her that tbh.

Seen a really nice bike for £40 in halfords and am thinking of asking my parents to go halves and get that for her too.

J is also sorted Grin I have got him a light to clip on his bunk bed, some roller blades and a leappad (which M will probably share)

latrucha · 13/10/2011 21:20

S is getting a pink sing-along CD player for Christmas, a dol for her birthday I'm now trying to think of something for Reyes. She doesn't go for barbie type dolls or soft toys. Am thinking of this. What do you think?

simpson · 13/10/2011 21:47

M has got something very similar except its peppa pig but it does the same thing.

She loves it and plays with it all the time. A friend gave it to her for her 3rd birthday and I would say its one of her favourite toys.

latrucha · 14/10/2011 09:50

Would s be too old to start with it now?

simpson · 14/10/2011 14:36

no but it might not last that long.

J has a v tech smile which you can buy educational games for.

He has a Thomas the tank one which M loves. Do you think she would like that?

latrucha · 14/10/2011 14:44

I think S would love it. DH would strangle me. Wink

latrucha · 15/10/2011 18:38

S this morning was recounting her usual tale of, 'Your the mummy; I'm the big sister and Danny's the baby,' but today with a difference: 'Your the mummy; I'm the big sister and Danny's oppressed,' !!!!!

And she repeated iy.

I have no idea where she's heard that word.

simpson · 17/10/2011 18:02

well M has been playing with her dolls house today (took me 3hrs to get it up and its still not finished [hhmm] but playable iyswim)

Anyway, the dolls house came with parents and a boy & girl doll. M puts parents in the bin and says they are dead and poor children etc etc Grin Grin

I don't know where she gets her ideas from!!! [hconfused]

latrucha · 17/10/2011 21:24
Grin Did they come out again?

Might the idea have come from J or one of his friends? (Not that it matters)

At the moment we are mostly either going to the jungle or hiding from a storm that's coming. Danny just bumbles along behind us thinking it's great.

simpson · 17/10/2011 22:49

well I had to take them out Hmm

J is more "bang bang youre dead" type of play and this was more "poor little children don't have a mummy or daddy" iyswim.

Good news is she finally seems to be settling in nursery school

However not looking forward to having firm words with J's school tomorrow as he still has not had a reading book and its half term next wk Shock and silly me but I took it for granted that he was still doing guided reading etc in the classroom but J says he has not done it for ages

All the books in infants are having to be audited but it was finished over a wk ago (I know, I did the audit!!) Angry