March 2011 - we made it!

[Muser]

The waiting is over, the babies are arriving. March 2011 mums, come on in your time is up.

(ps there was a baby involved so not a completely random comment!)

I try to avoid soaps as I can get rather addicted. At one point I used to religiously watch Corrie, Emmerdale, Eastenders, the Bill and Holyoaks... I didn't do much else tbh So now I have a complete ban on them!

Nice to hear you had a good night out cheese. I still haven't left Anya for more than an hour and a half and only then with OH. I'm still really uncomfortable with the whole idea - I'm convinced she'll miss me too much but I guess it's the other way around. My sister has plans for her 21st which involves me leaving Anya with either my granny or my aunt all evening and I've already kinda told her no. Although IMO it is a little unreasonable to leave a 5 month old baby with my 79 year old grandparents, right?

Had a lovely day today - met up with the girls I met at NCT and the whole group turned up. It has been a month since we last met up so it was so lovely to see how everyone's babies had changed.

Suffering with engorgement in one breast atm and not sure how to deal with it. Anya seems to feed better out of that boob so it seems to produce more milk. Last night though it was that engorged that I was leaking everywhere and I was uncomfortable sleeping on that side. Kept me up for 2 hours until Anya woke up for a feed and she drank just enough so I was comfortable but I could still feel the supply. I'm wondering if I should do an extra feed off that side to empty it a little or if I should keep swapping sides and hope my supply evens itself out again

catherine Im wondering around with wonky boobs because Arthur takes more from the left than the right so it keeps filling up more. I try to keep him on the right more so I will eventually balance out but I think i'll just have to live with the wonkiness for a bit

actually had to wake Arthur up this morning so I can feed him and get going to the hay festival. now i just have to get dh & dbro up - they are much harder work!

Hi everyone
Just a quick post to let u all know I am still around and try to keep up with the thread as much as I can but I don't get the time to post as often as id like to! Either feeding or holding Ethan or trying to catch up with housework. Ethan is going longer at night now last 2 nights he slept thru from 9:30 to 6 then fed and back to sleep till 8 which was fab hope it continues. We are still exclusively bf need to persevere with trying to get e to take ebm from a bottle ad I really need to get my hair done but he is likely to want feeding if I am away more than 2 hours.

Ethan weighed 11lb 14oz on weds so he is gaining weight at a good rate as was only 6lb 10oz at birth.

I still haven't gone to any baby groups, they are all quite far away from me and I don't drive, I do go for a walk around the common most days and take dd to school. Fingers crossed we should be moving at beginning of sept and it will be able to walk to the local baby groups and shops!

Man, oh man, it's been a rough week. Last Friday/Saturday, S got very fussy and started refusing the breast (I posted about it here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/1224515-Baby-refusing-the-breast-but-taking-a-bottle). She'd only take a bottle, except during the night when she was very sleepy and would BF. I started worrying that we'd never get her back on properly, and although we're not there yet (she's still quite fussy), she is definitely feeding more from me than from the bottle now. Her sleep patterns, which were beautifully predictable and reliable for several weeks, are also off and she's gone from sleeping 4 or 5 hours during the night to waking every 90 minutes or 2 hours tops. It's felt much like the very early days and I've been exhausted. I was afraid it was a nursing strike at first, but then she got fussy with the bottle for a few days, too, which made me think it's a growth spurt or developmental leap ... or maybe, as a couple of people have suggested, the start of teething? S is 11 weeks old today and it's so hard to imagine that she'd be teething already! Right now she's down for her 9?10am nap, so I'm taking that as a good sign. Maybe today will be the day it all turns around for the better.

Like the other babies here, S has become fascinated with her hands and will hold them up and look at them for ages. She's also grabbing on to things more and even bringing them to her mouth. Also trying to stuff her fist into her mouth, too.

Regarding the discussion about loss of independence/identity: I'm feeling it, too. I mean, I love taking care of S, but I do miss being able to run out to the shops on my own, read a book for more than 5 minutes at a time, think thinky thoughts and generally feel like a normal member of society. We haven't been out much since she got fussy with the BF bc I'm afraid of being far from home and her getting hungry and refusing to feed and then having to get a screaming baby home on the bus. If things continue to improve over the next day or two, I may give it a try, though. I think being more mobile again will make me feel less like all I am these days is S's mum (which is still a strange realization!).

Hi all
Think we hit that 12 week growth spurt too. Ollie still sleeping 7.30-12.30 but then awake every 1.5-2 hours then wakes at 5 or 6 and takes an hour to resettle at which point my big boys are waking up so I am exhausted!

Was wondering,ladies, particularly those on dc2 or 3 if u are finding it much harder to lose weight this time round? First 2 times my weight seemed to drop off. This time have just plateaued despite feeding a chunky and very hungry ollie seemingly round the clock! I know from experience that I can't really diet as it affects my milk supply so it's a bit demoralising! I can just squeeze inti normal jeans but still need loose tops to hide the muffin roll over the top of them and don't want to buy trousers a size bigger as that feels like giving in. Anyone else the same?

Cherub I feel your pain! I am EBF and at 12 weeks in I thought I'd be feeling a bit slimmer. I'm managing to hide the tummy bulge with 'magic knickers' but it doesnt make me feel any better. I too want to get on and start dieting, but I know it will affect my supply, so putting it off for another couple of months but by then the summer will be gone, so will have to put up with baggy tops and magic pants all through the warm weather
Beth sleeping now from 8pm-midnight, then waking 3.30ish and 6.30ish. DD1 slept through from about 6 weeks so this is getting frustrating now, I just want a whole nights sleep, please, just one.
She is napping better during the day now which helps, has a good hour or more morning and afternoon.

Edeluna that sounds like hard work. Poor you, especially if it has tied you to the house so much. I havent read your thread but I will do in a moment.

Me23 let us know how you get on with getting E to take EBM from bottle. I tried this a couple of times with no success, and am desperate to get away for just a few hours with no baby in tow. I also need a haircut ut think I will have to take her with me. Beth was also 6lb10 at birth and I am going to get her weighed this Weds. How old is E now?

catherine and petty how are your boobs now??

boobs are still producing way too much milk for some reason so still not comfortable. I miss that feeling in the evening when I feel like I'm running out. I shouldn't complain though as at least I know I've got food for her. Thing is though (TMI incoming) Anya's poo has turned green again which I read means she is getting too much fore-milk rather than hind milk which is probably because my boobs are constantly full... {sigh} what to do....

Me - well done on the trying to keep up with housework - I gave up on that weeks ago. I now dedicate my morning free hour (which I get most days when Anya goes back to sleep after her morning feed) to doing something in the house but whatever doesn't get done just gets left till my next morning free hour. I hope you are getting some adult company though as I can imagine you'll go crazy otherwise - I know I was doing and the Monday morning baby cafe is often the highlight of my week.

Edeluna - That really sounds exhausting. Have your HV or GP been any help? Just to rule out any other problems? I hope she takes the breast again soon as expressing to feed is a lot of work.

Better go - Anya is unsettled again. She's quite windy atm too which I read is also linked to too much fore milk....

Edeluna That sounds really stressful, well done for getting her back on track. Isn't it weird when they literally don't know what's good for them! I think my DS was teething from about that stage as he got his first tooth at 16 weeks. Second one at 18 weeks!

1Catherine I think I may have read that green poo is a sign of dehydration too? It has been so hot recently - maybe that has caused it? DS had green poo all the time, he fed so quickly from each boob I don't think he always got to the good fatty milk. He always put on enough weight though and never had any issues resulting from it so I hope that puts your mind at ease a bit - I was dreadfully worried about it at the time! I think you might have said this already but with Lara, to avoid it, I put her on the same boob if she wants to feed again within about an hour of her last feed.

Cherub Yep I'm on DC2 and definitely not as thin as I was by the time DC1 was 9 weeks! Although I can just about squeeze into things, I think I lost more weight first time around because I was so stressed about everything!

petty the hay festival - am so jealous! How was it?

re: expressed milk - I haven't managed to get Lara to take a bottle yet either. Every weekend I say to DH we MUST try that this weekend and we never get around to it!

We've had quite a nice weekend but yesterday aborted an attempt to go to the Natural History Museum - with a toddler, baby and double buggy it was an EPIC shag!!! Tube lines closed, Victoria packed, NHM also packed, baking hot day, DS only interested in running around and climbing on tables and to top it off I nearly had a panic attack when a lift that we were in broke down!!! Not trying that again for a good while! I think we got over-excited as we had a whole day to ourselves without any visitors so we went uber-ambitious.

DS is quite challenging at the moment too - he turns 2 in a couple of weeks and my god, does it show.... He must say NO! about a hundred times a day! Fortunately he is a good talker so he doesn't get too frustrated with communication issues but he's started doing this really annoying fake cry where he just closes his eyes for ages trying to squeeze a tear out. I think he's noticed us going to Lara when she cries - he copied her when he heard her on the monitor today. I think he's going through a growth spurt too as he's so tired all the time even with a 2 hour lunchtime nap - he went to bed at 6 tonight on his own request! He's slept more than Lara today!

Digging in to Dominos pizza now. Absolutely bloody knackered. Not having DC3 for at LEAST 3 years, that's for sure!!!!!!!

shredding and me good luck on ebm. Tried ollie on Friday and he wasn't happy about it and just took in loads of air! I think I should have tried no. 2 teats straight away and possibly even size 3 as he normally drinks gallons from me in 5 mins flat. I know he takes a good volume as I can get ateast 5oz from each boob without them feeling completely empty.
Like u am desperate to get hair done - got his christening in 4 weeks and roots are about 4cm ick!!!

Hello all. Sorry not been around much, sleep has gone to lot a bit here. It looks like we may have another growth spurt, or it's the switch from swaddling to sleeping bag.

Just a quick one as she's finally asleep again. We use Medela Calma bottles, they're meant to mimic breastfeeding and work well for us. No need for different teat sizes, the baby controls it. Not that mine gets a bottle very often as I find expressing boring and the last thing I want to do if I have any spare time!

edeluna poor you, spounds awfully hard work. Hope things are back on track.

Good luck those trying EBM. I think its worth persevering. GOod friends of ours gave up trying and are regretting it 6 months down the line as their DD stil won't take a bottle.

All well in the cheese household. Off on our hols for a short break in west wales. looking forward to some sun on the beach (ignoring the fact rain is forecast). bought a fab travel cot in mothercare, Isobel seems happy sleeping in it. It has a changing mat and bassinette as well as the bog standard cot bit. Not bad for £80.
I'm managing to do a bit of exercise. Izzy goes into the creche at our gym for 1hour twice a week which she enjoys. I can then do zumba and pilates, plus a couple of evenign classes when DH is around. I'm also doing SW, they take into account BF etc. Its very easy. Lost 8lbs in the last month.

Oh, lOzario you are so brave doing that. I'm so impressed! Hope you managed to enjoy a precious weekend off without visitors.
Hope evryone else is well

good for you, C+B. I'm not doing much exercise apart from walking when I can to baby groups etc.

shredding E is 11 weeks old.

Catherine i don't have any adult company apart from when OH is around, sometimes I do feel a bit lonely but I've always been a bit of a hermit so am used to spending time on my own.

Dd is 6 on thurs having a party on sat so going shopping fir party food etc tonight.

Question- what does everyone do re baby bedtime? And feeds We do not have a routine am very much babyled, e doesnt fall asleep until anywhere from 9:30-11pm and is downstairs with us in the evening and I will go up to bed with him when he goes to sleep. Also we do not have any routine re feeding strictly on demand which can mean every 3 hours or on and off all the time eg ten min feed then might want a 2 min feed an hour later, anyone else bf lo like this

me - we're still like that although she usually falls fast asleep at around midnight so I usually put her in her cot then and then wait up for OH to get in from work. She then usually sleeps till about 6 but last night she woke at 3. I was told on a thread I started a while back that having a routine so early was pointless as come the next growth spurt it will get messed up again. The thread is here if you want to check it out although Anya is now nearly 11 weeks.

Me and Catherine I'm so relieved to hear that about your evening bedtimes. We're the same but was starting to panic that I'm making a rod for my own back letting Elijah sleep in the living room until we go to bed. I tried to put him in the cradle at a "sensible" time yesterday- 7pm ish- after a feed when he looked sleepy but he just lay there wide awake for 20 minutes and bot me and my other half can't bear leaving him when he could be in a social environment with us (when he's awake). A routine will have to wait. He's 9.5 weeks.

I breastfeed on demand but it does seem to be 3 hours generally. Can be 2 in the day and can be 4, occasionally 5 at night.

Trecked back to London today for my perineum clinic appt (post 3 rd degree tearing) and got told I have to go back in 4 months and have a scan. Was naive enough to think I'd just be signed off so feeling a bit glum about that.

Feeling anxious generally about things. Am I doing things right, are we stimulating E enough, will I ever make friends in this new area. Feel really housebound as I'm not a confident driver. Just feel like everything is too overwhelming. Hopefully just a phase. I never thought I'd find motherhood this hard but then I'm generally an anxious sort of person so perhaps should have anticipated this. Poor OH is having to do a lot of propping up at the moment.

me I am on demand feeding, and today has been a lot like you describe, short feeds but quite frequent, every hour or so, its usually about 3 hours between feeds during the day. It doesnt worry me though, it makes for a peaceful life - no rigid feeding routines!!
With bed time, she starts to get whiny about 7.30pm, so I feed her upstairs, all ready for bed, dim lights etc, and drop her into cotbed at end of feed. She goes off to sleep soundly, and wakes midnightish and 3.30am and 6.30am for feeds. Then stays asleep til 8am.

For first timers- dont worry at this stage about having your LOs downstairs with you until late at night. I did this with DD1 for quite a while, until her body clock adjusted and she started to get tired earlier in the evening. She is now 4 years old, has been a fab sleeper all along, no rods made for any backs...

Kpidgeon I am sure you are doing a fantastic job. These early months/years are FULL of anxieties and worries and guilt. It gets easier, as you learn to read and understand your childs wants/needs.
I do understand about worrying if you are stimulating your baby enough, but I am sure you are, they soon let you know if they are bored! It is invaluable to talk to baby lots, that is their favourite activity. Difficult though, to keep on chit chatting and making conversation when its so one-sided. I remember thinking 'what the hell am I supposed to talk about to a small baby??'
Do you have any mum friends local to you at all? Or met any other mums near to you? There must be a SureStart centre or something similar nearby?
It was my saving grace, when I didnt know anyone local, to meet other new mums at baby coffee mornings, as other mums are the best way to reassure yourself that everything you are doing is fine. No body can do a better job at looking after your baby than you can.
Are you right out in the sticks? Where do you live? (sorry I've forgotten)

Sorry, I've gone on a bit, I am making the most of DH being home and playing with the girls for half an hour before bed.

I should have added Catherine that Beth has gradually moved her own bed time by herself. I havent 'imposed' an 8pm bed time, it has just gradually moved down from 10pm. She is 12 weeks today. I read your thread, there are some lovely ladies with great advice out there.

Arrrrrrghhh just typed a mammoth message then got logged out.

Gist was:

• E in a routine and asleep by between 6-7.30 (mostly because after a day entertaining DS2 and school runs with DS1 I need some me time to just read/bath etc before DH comes home and subjects me to Eastenders etc)
• DS1 spent the first 2 years falling asleep in the living room. He goes into bed now with DS2 at 7pm and by 8pm both alseep so it did no harm.
• Imms; I had the annoying issues mentioned, but I wont say too much as it just makes me angry.
• Hands in mouth all the time here.
• Good sleeping here (almost all night) but not counting my chickens just give him a silent thank you for the previous nights sleep with no expectation of any more.
• Had my interview for uni and have secured my place and funding for my History degree in OCt so very pleased. (Now you see why I need that 2 hours between DC in bed and DH arriving home)!!

Love to all and looking forward to seeing some of you at the end of the month.

16 weeks tomorrow and bedtime is still around 9.30pm here, shifted back from 11pm. She fell asleep at 8.30 yesterday but woke up an hour later. Back to sleep pretty quickly though. Bit rubbish at night just now, I think a combination of losing the swaddle and a growth spurt. Hoping things will improve soon.

I've been told by a few people that around 4-5 months their babies started to naturally bring their bedtimes forward, so I'm waiting to see what happens.

We started a bedtime routine around 7ish with Lara when she was about a month old, but only because she just stopped being happy up with us downstairs from around that time. She's a VERY wakeful baby and doesn't sleep well with things going on around her - we're still really struggling with daytime sleep but she needs a kip after about 1 1/4 hours of wakefulness at the moment. By the end of the day I try to make sure she's had half an hour or so between 4 and 5, otherwise bedtime is a nightmare! She's usually asleep by 7. If she'd been happy downstairs with us then I guess we'd probably have carried on keeping her down here, but I do really like my kid-free time in the evenings, especially as she's so full-on during the day! Generally goes 2-3 hours for feeds in the day but some days all the time, like the recent really hot days. Not really bothered about a daytime routine yet, will try harder with that when she's a bit bigger.

The best baby book I have, by that Dr Weissbluth guy, says what you do in the first three months with them has very little impact on their future habits, they're just too small to think "Wehay, I love being up with mum and dad, no way in hell am I going to bed any earlier!"

KPidgeon I was exactly as you describe with DS1, even down to my reluctance to drive. Think I was worried I'd crash as am a rubbish driver and was nervous DS would kick off (he was awful in the car). It gets easier, you're in the most difficult bit now, especially with your health worries too. Keep telling yourself it will only get easier! I think I was literally in shock after having him. Regarding entertaining the baby - just being alive is stimulation enough for them at this age, with the odd kick about on the playmat, or watching you cook or whatever. I think I over-stimulated DS when he was a baby, he's SO bossy now when he wants me to play with him, even down to exactly where I have to sit on the floor!!!

Lozario your bossy DS sounds adorable

KPidgeon - babycentre has "games to play" week by week(Anya is up to 2 mounths 3rd week - only found them the other day but she seems to enjoy the exercising her neck muscles while I sing to her. It even amused another crying baby of a woman I met at the baby cafe

We've managed to fall into a routine with Ollie, though probably helped by the fact his elder brothers are in a great routine.

Completely baby led however, so haven't pushed him into anything. However, he goes in the bath with the other 2 round about 6.30, then DH settles the big boys and I settle Ollie. I feed him in the dark (watching TV with subtitles!!) and he feeds to sleep, then plonk him in my bed when he has conked out which is usually by 7.30. He then seemingly always sleeps till at least 12.30, and normally has a feed at 4ish then 6ish (tho a bad night it is ever 1.5-2 hours from 12.30). I don't do a dream feed as it makes no difference at all.

During the day, he gets up when his brothers come running at 7am, and then has his first nap 90 mins later and pretty much his daytime is driven by his own rhythm of being awake 90mins to 2 hours then a sleep. He has fortunately started to have a BIG nap every afternoon from 12.30 for 3-4 hours when I go to bed with him and sleep myself for a coupdl of hours before sneaking out and leaving him in bed when the older boys wake from their nap. Can't believe it is all actually working out, as I really can't survive without a daytime nap myself!

Ollie seems to really like having some sort of general rhythm to the day - he loves bath time and seems to know what is coming when he lies on the mat having nappy free time before hand. And all three love being in the bath together.

Like some others mention, the evening routine is needed as DH and I do need to have just an hour or two together in the evening or it does start to affect your relationship.

p.s I don't think feeding to sleep creates any rods for any backs either, and nor does settling in teh front room!