FEB 2010 Tottering into our second year...!

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

A few first birthdays left, then we're full tilt into walking/talking and a mountain of mischief

Good for you PA! They will probably realise they didnt congratulate you, and make up for it.
How you feeling? (Despite the lack of sleep) :)

I love my CM..she had a finger painting by DD made into a coaster for mother's day, it is fab! I also got card which DD allegedly helped to make with her. DP managed to make me cry at 6.45am..tosser. But I got over it.

We had a nice afternoon though together, we took DD to feed the ducks which she was very excited about.
She didnt get that the bread was for her to throw to the ducks, she kept eating it herself!
She wore herself out as she wants to walk everywhere now. I must get a video done!

I was OK as it was a better reaction than I was expecting. I thought we'd get a lot more doom and gloom (we'll probably get that later once she's had time to worry about it more). When we told her about DD she was just silent for about 5 mins, asked a few questions about our plans and again no congratulations or well wishes etc. They just worry far too much. I also remember the fact that she really struggled with her two despite a bigger gao and them being angle babies (sleeping through at 6 weeks and generally quite easy with food etc.) So with DD being harder they think we just can't cope because she thinks she wouldn't have been able to (if that makes sense). It comes from a good place but they let worry overtake everything else.

I feel pg all of a sudden. It's like I've been so busy up to now I've not had a chance to notice tiredness etc. but my run of 12 hours days at work are over for a while and I should be getting whole weekends off. It's nice to put my feet up for a bit and wallow in resting.

We got DD through 5 hours without feeding last night with just one quikc re-settle at 3 hrs. It's all baby steps. How about you LBH how are things holding up your end?

SB I have times when I've been been glad to go to work.

Happy Mothers Day everyone!!! Mine started off SHI-ITTT! DD woke at 1.30 then was up for the day at 4.30... DP had to go to work today so I looked after her. She was so full on. Really happy and chatty but I just felt knackered all day. When DP woke at 8 and came down all smiley, I was an absolute cow and wished him a Happy Fucking Father's Day! Anyway, he bought flowers and a card, cooked lunch for us to eat while he was at work... and I finally calmed down. Nightmare! Anyway, DD is exhausted and was fast asleep by 6.45 tonight.

Scones I give DD goats' milk (sometimes cows but I'm intolerant) in her sippy cup first thing in the morning. She drinks a whole sippy cupful on her own while she's playing (I've eliminated the morning feed). She then has water all day, and another full sippy cup of milk with her dinner at 5.30. She then has boob after her bath before bed. I'm keeping that feed as long as I can. We both really enjoy it and it soothes her in the evening.

Anyway, I MUST go to bed... I'm such a crap sleeper. Goodnight all. Sending sleepy vibes to everyone but especially to PA, congrats on your baby, that is great news!

Thanks abs Scones is preggers as well

PA That is NOT the reaction you want. Why on earth don't people keep their feelings to themselves and just SAY CONGRATULATIONS! Thank you for the tip re the book I will do that, I keep checking on ebay but none there and still £25 on Amazon (WTF?!).

bc very pleased you got your meds.

Hope everyone's had a lovely MD today. Tough on you being on your own SB - a whole weekend, phew, I think whenever that prospect has loomed over me I've hotfooted it to my mum's quick smart Hope your DH is back safe and sound.

SC glad you had a lovely evening out (where did you eat? (nosy)) and a happy anniversary today Get well wishes to DD2 poor thing.

Interesting article IC. IMO BF is so much about mental/emotional attitudes and support. I can't imagine living somewhere where the health professionals were anti-BF (thay are all SO pro-BF round here but I'd have BF anyway). I think the attitude towards BF is pretty dire in this country anyway (I mean the way it's normal to choose breast or bottle, instead of it being normal to BF and to use a bottle if for some reason you cant) - can't imagine living somewhere it's worse.

I really don't mean to upset anyone esp. anyone who bottlefed. I'm not saying bottle's wrong, far from it, I would just love it if it was the normal thing for most people to BF, instead of people seeming faintly surprised and congratulatory whenever I said I was/am BF (now it's more like raised eyebrows mind you).

BF went really well this morning (lots of lovely contended gulping ) and again this evening so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Nice to 'see' you rainbow and ECMR.

X-posted Abs sorry you had a shit day Also LBH at your DP making you cry.

PA that really isn't a helpful reaction, is it? For crying out loud.
Good of you to be so understanding about it.
Good news on your DD's sleep, too! Definitely moving in the right direction.

Sorry to hear you didn't have the best starts to MD, LBH and
Abs. I hope you both have a restful night.

Yes, Scones, the article made a little light bulb go on for me when I recalled how a good friend was pressured encouraged to give her EBF DS a bottle at 5 months by her MIL, who is a retired French pediatrician. The result was her DS decided bottles were the easier deal and he went on a nursing strike from which he never returned, so she had to switch over to bottles against her own inclination.
Like you, I'm not anti ff at all. But it's sad to see women being actively discouraged from bf.

Scones have to agree with you. I am pro BF and I had a bad start (nipple was bleeding and almost tailing off) which meant my milk dried up and I paid for a relactation consultant to help show me how to get the latch right and get my supply going again. Everyone apart from my mum and DP thought I was mental to try again.

None of my friends BF, they didnt even try. I have no problem with FF at all. I just think that there is little done to help and encourage to "have a go" whilst in hospital. It was assumed that as DD was latching on we were fine. When I had concerns about my supply they were more interested in DDs weight gain and I was told to give her formula. Her weight gain has remained the same even when I FF after 6 mo.
I think if hospitals had a MW to just help with BW it would go a long way, but the majority are understaffed. I was shocked to see France has a big issue with it.

BC Don't forget to change the toothbrushes, and if you had some sore on your lips your lipsticks as well.

IC I read that article too. I think it is very journalistic, i.e. he invented some good/funny/exagerated words to make it more interesting. I don't think any gyn. or pead. would say to anyone that breast are for DHs and talking about your sex life. If he really had one doc. like that, it is a weirdo not because he is french.
But the attitude is bad in france. My mum think she didn't have milk (she didn't try so nothing came IYSWIM). She also think I was starving DD1 (which might be true with the insight that she might be tongue-tie, and the fact that she plump up immediately after formula). With DD2 nothing changed between BF and FF same curve, so I have a slight suspicion that I could have been helped better in the UK with DD1, which would have help me BF DD2 longer too.
My mum think I am some kind of hippy to have tried BF, I bring upon myself diseases (mastitis, the real one with shakes, red spider web and high fever) with DD2, I am a SAHM despite my phD, and don't have a car by choice.

Also it is not helped by the fact that a huge % of french women returned to work at 6 weeks, before the supply is established (not 9 is wife was lucky). Most of my french friends did, with long commute as well and didn't see the kids except on the week end (morning and evening of course but just to get ready and go to bed). You are also not expected to have pauses at work. You can drink and pee (1 min), but no break is usually allowed except lunch time. I don't think many industry will support a nursing expressing mum, you will be marked less productive and probably fired. It is a very macho work market.

I also think it should be more natural and supported, and that the UK should stop forcing people into it when it is obviously not working. The only help I had with DD1 is "keep going, it will sort itself out" which is wrong. Some women cannot breast feed, some babies can't suck, and some don't have a healthy supply and it is possible to mix feed. If it was so easy and all babies would thrived, formula would have never been invented in the 1st place (i.e. before the producer decided to make money on it), there have always been more or less safe milk substitutes and nurses in the villages. (do you have the saying "milk brothers" in the UK? "freres de lait")

I think the scandinavians and germans have a more in between attitude which is much healthier. Almost everybody BF and are helped to overcome the problems. FF is not demonised, it is an helpful tool, and maternity leaves are long, between 1 and 3 years.

oops sorry! no time left for individual comments

Interesting, Shro. Yes, I had a feeling the journo had - ahem - "sexed up" the article a tad, hence why I was interested in your input.
But that's a very intriguing insight into French culture and attitudes to bf there, thanks! I suppose I find it especially interesting because my mum lives in France so I spend quite a bit of time there myself.

Been up with DD between midnight at 3am. Her cough made her vomit and I think her back teeth are pushing. Not helped she was up for the day at 6.30am despite obviously being tired. She is asleep now though. Thank god I am not at work today.

I going to bravely visit Bluewater this morning and attempt to feed her lunch (she is fussing again with eating) and nap her in the buggy. [scared] emoticon.
All I want to do is cry this morning. I know it is just because I am tired.

Aw, sorry to hear you had a tough night LBH.

Good luck with the shopping trip

I keep going Awwwww... every time dd2 decides to display her new walking skills (but she refuses to perform to the camcorder ). Would have thought I'd be less impressed second time round, but it really looks so adorable . .. Dd1 is not so keen on the extra attention her baby sister is getting due to her walking/talking. Dh did a double take yesterday when dd2 confidently asked for a 'Tuch' (baby wipe) after sticking her hand into her porridge . Dd1 immediately piped up complaining that the baby did not say please like she has to!

Agree with Schrodinger about a more supportive environment in Germany where it seems normal to breastfeed, but you don't get slated if it does not work out (unlike in the UK where some midwives seems to think ff is equal to child neglect...)

schro I agree with you, especially regarding the maternity leave (you tend to stop work earlier than in the UK and therefore go back to work while the baby is still very young. On the other hand, I feel that you feel quite oblige/pushedto BF over here. MW asked me several time if I was going to BF while I said since the start that I would FF. Nobody is perfect I guess.

LBH good luck for tonight.

SC at your DD1

Recommend looking at the 'nice cup of tea' thread in the discussion of the day... It's truly alarming!!

Oh, and meant to say PA glad you are philosophical about your MIL. She probably means no harm and is just one of life's worriers. I am sure you and your dh will be fine and in my experience having a second is a doddle compared to the changes to your life when you have your first

SC Haha have posted a couple of things there.

PA Sorry your PILs have been a bit rubbish. They are odd aren't they? All that wanting to take DD out for 6+ hours on the trot.

I had a look at that article, IC - I remember all the media around that female philosopher's book. I do know of one French woman who did the whole extended breastfeeding/cosleeping thing - slightly to the chagrin of her (Irish) husband.

LBH Hope you made it to Bluewater and have a better night tonight.

DS's mouth seems less painful now although not back to usual standards of eating. I feel better for having seen the doc.

Will it be ok if I sterilise our toothbrushes?

Had 3 mums and toddlers over this morning (2 from my street and one from round the corner) and had a good time. We're going to do a babysitting circle so we can all go out more in the evenings which will be good.

Don't remember if I said that on Friday I went with a friend to the Museum of Childhood in Bethnal Green (now that we have the East London Line running through Forest Hill and Sydenham it's so easy to get to that neck of the woods) - it was brillant, free entry and they have a really good sensory area with a big wall with different textures and loads of lights in tubes that change colour etc. then upstairs there's a little sandpit and a wurlitzer jukebox (DS was bopping to I've Got the Power) it was amazing and not overrun at all - just nicely busy.

I just wanted to say that DD was an absolute delight yesterday

full of giggles whenever we do something different. DH was jumping out and shouting 'boo' at her and she descended into hysterics. Lots of giggling at me commando crawling and swinging her around, both upright and upside down.

Have read that thread, sadly many ring true for me

Well made it to the Bluewater, it was ok, DD slept from 8.30am till 9.50am (what a suprise) and when up, we and nanny went to the shops. She fed ok, glad to get out the pushchair and then she didnt sleep at all till we got home at 2.10pm despite looking like she was about to drop off. She woke at 3.50pm!

Think she is a tad poorly, I think she has a temp and was happy to cuddle and watch tv for half an hr before tea. She ate well, despite being grumpy and perked up a bit for her bath after calpol. She has gone straight to sleep (heard a few coughs)

I am wondering whether I should take her to dr about this cough. She has had it and a cold since 3rd week of Feb. I put it off as the virus took over for 10 days but it is back. I havent booked her MMR as I wanted to wait till she was better.

Dont know what to do as usual.

Work tomorrow so will set the 5am alarm (as if I need it) Off to bed very shortly.

Wishing you all sweet dreams and a good night.

Bless your DD PA

SC I found that thread alarming too. At 42 I have the most awful signs of physical decrepitude but I still go clubbing, mid-week drinking and listening to loud music (when not pregnant - actually, I still do 1 and 3 even then). At the age of some of those posters - late 20s - I was out every night and never slept at weekends. I do have a slanket however...and a vibrating foot muff.

PA I love love love the descriptoin of you playing with DD.

BC thank you for reminding me that I want to go to the MoC.

at vibrating footmuff

PA they are totally adorable at this age, aren't they

dd2 and I had a slight misunderstanding earlier... I asked her if there was more poo coming (she'd been working on one for a bit) and she looked at me, thought for a moment, and then pointed to the front door . Realised later that she must have thought me mad for asking such a strange question and chose to understand whether 'Papa' was coming (back from work) rather than 'Aa' (poo)

hello! long time, no see?. i'm SO sorry I can't keep up :( don't laugh but i actually feel quite stressed about it :( hope everyone's well?

been flat out here - job going well but V busy.

we've got a new house sorted (think i mentioned this last time i managed to get on?) finally heard last week that we've got it - moving at the end of the month

dh in hosp next week - has to have a general for his snip, bless him - i've said he doesn't have to do it, but he insists he wants to - i've got three days off work, hoping he's ok and i get to spend 3 days with the kids, which will be brill

both the kids well - DS didn't react well to his MMR and boosters - 10 days or so with high temps unlike him. DD deffo ready for going to school in september - find out at the end of the month if she's got a place at our local school - had to change preferences after the closing date cos we didn't know we were moving - it's a lovely school, so hope she gets a place.

worrying about my mum who seems more withdrawn and aggrophobic (sp?) than ever, and my l'al brother who seems unsettled and unhappy

want to wave my magic wand and sort out everything for everyone, but just can't

a few weeks and it will be five years since my dad died suddenly - i still get 'Ive not spoken to him for ages, best give him a call tonight' moments? can't believe it's going to be half a decade? he'd have made an ace grandad and he never got to meet either of them

best go - sorry mammoth post? i tried keeping in touch at lunchtime at work but i've not had a lunchbreak for over a month now, so that didn't work out! just about managing to get on FB and hotmail every few days, must try harder with MN?

will try and keep in touch more regularly - do think about you all, even though i'm not much in touch anymore x