Dec 08 Mums - Snot Beards, Farty Boos and Willy Milk (not how it sounds!) - let the fun continue!

[Beans33]

Here we are x

Jolly :(. Has he given specific reasons for delivering at 34 weeks? 37 is full term, so it doesn't sound massively early. Make a nuisance of yourself and get as much info as you can. You're doing so well to get this far.

jolly - that sounds like a shock. i second effie - make a fuss, try to ask as much as possible. when my mum was dying, i felt we were fobbed off by doctors quite a lot, and by one in particular, so i stooped so low as to say "stop treating me like an idiot - i went to cambridge university, you have to tell me what is going on". it worked. he wasn't to know i did english, and i hate people who exploit things like that, but sometimes needs must.

i am anticipating having to put up a similar fight for being treated when i go into labour - having re-read SL's birthstory where they wanted her to have continuous monitoring due to her attempting a vbac. sigh.

have had a lovely day of my friend/doula coming round and giving me some massage/alexander technique, then a pregnancy massage, then getting my hair cut and coloured. phew... glad to get that day over with before number 2 makes an appearance. i have had a word with my wriggly friend and requested a birth on friday week - let's hope number 2 is listening to me! although i am pleased to report a sense of pressure down below, which i presume means that my wriggly friend is engaging a bit more than madam ever did. i never felt that with her.

in the meantime, a friend of mine did a spot and had a 90 minute labour last week, and another friend found her baby was transverse and has been in hospital since then - it has now moved and she was induced and she is probably in the middle of it right now. babies seem to be popping out all over the shop.

anyway... must rest. night night all

Oh Jolly what a pain, when you've got so far. If I remember rightly DD was something like 2.8kg when she was born so to me that sounds quite a good weight for 32 weeks. Agree that some foot stamping is in order, especially as you went full term with L without a problem

Veg how is the with friends?

I will go into Waterstones to drool over that book LadyT

And yay to the waiting wriggler for letting Mummy have a haircut and massage

JB, I think ZJ is right - 2kg sounds a good weight for your amount of weeks. I mean, that's got to be getting close to 5lb. In a fortnight your DC2 has got to be even bigger - both my two were only 6lb12 and 6lb10. I am sorry you are feeling blue about it. Erm, if you've got one of those bowtie twizzling idiots such as WG describes, do remind them you are a person as well as a patient. Whatever their professional excellence, I think they are failing to keep you properly informed. Hope you get some satisfactory answers.

WG, so glad you got the pampering treats in before the arrival of No. 2. Excellent! How was your visit to El Smuggo last week?

Oh bumholes, I think I am getting ill. I woke up with a really painful neck this morn and it seemed that my glands were up. Come evening, I have a killer sore throat. So irritating. I don't want a stupid bug as am desperate for DD2, DD1 and Mum not to catch anything.

Drunk, night out with the girls at a posh wine bar. Nice vino, but....drunk.

Veggie what a fun post to see as my first back! Hope you're feeling okay today.

Hi everyone - I have been completely MIA, not even lurking. I have been crazy at work and not able to face the thought of the laptop in the evenings when I get home. But I am now officially on maternity leave!

Two weeks Saturday until my due date. I am doing obscene amounts of bouncing on my gym ball and swimming to try to get this DC2 into a good position to maximise chances of a VBAC. WG I have an appointment with a consultant today so that she can write in my notes that I might refuse continuous monitoring and might want to give birth in water. Not sure if that's something you would want to worry about doing in advance?

I've only read the last 2 pages so am very out of the loop. But thinking of you all and looking forward to getting back on the thread now that I am out of the office!

Mom, that sounds like a fantastic idea. Think I'm a bit late for that now and am so bored of worrying about it. We'll see what happens, just hoping for the best... Glad you're on mat leave. Alkaloid my best to rest rest rest. Currently lying in bed with radio 4. Yum

Alkaloid??? WTF? thanks, iPhone.

Feeling seedy, and a little bit headachey. Had a great night though. There were about 20 of us in the end so a good fun group lots of nattering whilst consuming lurvely faine waine. Slowly many drifted home and we ended up with a core group of 6 stayers and we giggled and nattered until about 12 which we were all quite impressed with. Hopefully we'll do it again soon.

ZJ, any baby that is premmie needs a certain amount of support, and Trace would be best suited to give you an idea but it would help if the consultant prepared you or maybe let you have a chat with the neonatologist or the lead nurse for NICU. You do need to let him know that you want all the information possible and that you want to understand why the decision has been made to deliver that early. He definitely won't have taken the decision lightly, but, HE has made the decision, it appears, without consulting you. While I'm sure if everything were explained to you and you understood it you may agree with him, the fact still remains that YOU are actually the one who decides whether to deliver early or not, not him. He can recommend it to you but he cant force you to have a baby at 34 weeks. Your the one signing the consent form, its not really informed consent if your not clear on why it is necessary. Now, I'm sure he is a brilliant doctor, but they get a little caught up in all the necessity of the situation and forget that they aren't actually the ones making the decision. I think if you sit down with him and get him to go through it all with you. Be honest, tell him your fears and concerns (it always helps jolt them back to the personal implications) & then make the final decision. You are well within your right to ask what statistically could happen if you wait one more week. I do know that from 36 weeks baby is pretty much cooked but just needs a fat layer to develop, but of course the gestational age is very much dependant on guess work so its hard to say until they come out how things are. But at 34 weeks the main thing is the lack of suck reflex and lung development, now steroids make a big difference there. But as I said Trace will have a better idea. Sorry I've rambled.

Mom, its so good to hear from you, and so nice to know we have you back.

I can't believe Katie is having her bub in 4 days!

That pamper day sounded perfect WG. I'm so looking forward to hearing how your birth is with a Doula. I think regardless of the method of delivery having her there will be special.

Morning all, am full of cold and feeling very sorry for myself.

JB I know it must seem awfully scary the thought of bubs being born at 34 weeks. Did they give you any indication of what support baby will need when born?

mom hello! Good to hear we'll be seeing more of you around here so to speak. Yikes I can't believe all these new babies...almost makes me broody again.

trace Oh lovely trace. Please post on here about your worries/troubles with L. That is what we are here for and are more than happy to listen and try and help.

vag Sounds like you had a great night out.

wg Your pamper sesh yesterday sounded absolute bliss! Good for you.

I need more tissues back shortly!

hi.
Just a short post as the estate agent is coming in a few mins.
syb thank you for linking to that thread - it was a really interesting read and I might brave joining in. Thank you (and everyone) for being so encouraging. When I feel a bit better I'll get it out on here.
Also JB I think 34 must be a magic number - when I went in at 29 weeks, they said they would do their best to get me to 34 weeks (I lasted 4 days from then!). L was 1.4kg, which was considered quite a good size for her gestation, so it's fab that little 'un is 2kg. Obviously it will differ from place to place, but I think the York policy says babies under 2.4kg have to go to SCBU. I'm not absolutely sure about that but almost! What was Lucy's weight? Also the steroids do an amazing job. L's next-cot-neighbour in SCBU was born at the same gestation but her mum hadn't had the steroids, and, although she's well now, that little one had more trouble with her breathing and had home oxygen for a while. Do you know where you're going to deliver yet? Once you know it would be great to look round SCBU so there are fewer things which are scary and new to you when it happens. You're welcome to ask me anything about early babes - I think you have my mobile and email? Also re feeding, L was on TPN (intravenous nutrition) for a while but I expressed from day 1, so even my first few mls of milk were stored and then used when she had an NG tube. Then after that she was allowed to BF and learnt really quickly, so the sucking reflex developed in time and she was able to feed fine, from boob by me in the day and by bottle by nurses at night - unlike little full-term-
Phoebe who has never taken a bottle in her life!
Anyway must go. SOrry if I've waffled.

Blimey Vag good advice but I think the wine addled your brain. Any baby I have on the way will be 40+ weeks early! Jolly will be pleased to hear it though. Glad you had lots of fun last night

Oh bloody hell, sorry ZJ I meant JB! Am really suffering, I'm snapping at the boys for the tiniest thing. I don't think this hangover is worth it.

Hello everyone,

Thanks all for your kind words and advice, it means a lot. We haven't told anyone in real life yet so it helps being able to off load on here a bit. Thanks trace, that is all really helpful, not a bit of waffle there. I certainly will email you if it all gets confirmed.

The thing was I didn't even see the consultant yesterday, this was all relayed to me via his registrar which I'm sure isn't best practice . It was all sprung on me a bit and I had DD with me waving her Peppa Pig book about shouting "read, read NOW MUMMY", which really didn't help.

I spoke to the midwife on the day unit today when I went for my BP profile and she was quite surprised, she felt that although the protein was getting worse as the BP was stable she would have expected them to hold out longer. I suppose what they'd do for a 'normal' person might differ from what they think is best for me. That makes me feel very guilty of course, that DC2 might be making an early appearance all thanks to my failing body .

I'm going to ensure I get the in-laws to have DD so I can go to the clinc next week free from distractions armed with a written list of questions. I've not heard whether Birmingham are still set on me delivering there yet either .

Just to top off my me me me post, it is the anniversary of my brother's death a few days after I'm 34 weeks and I am scared they'll want to deliver me on that day. I know that is the least of my problems but it is really getting to me and I'm not even sure why I find the idea so awful.

Anyway, enough about me.

WG I'm really pleased you managed to have your pampering day. Super that you feel the baby is getting into position too. Very exciting. I'm thinking boy for you for some reason!

mom Really glad to hear from you. Yay for starting mat leave. Keep bouncing on that ball.

DB and ladyT Hope you both feel better soon.

veggie Any chance of a lie down to help ease your hangover? Will the boys watch a film while you have a doze? Just keep remembering that you really enjoyed yourself last night!!

JB - you sound remarkably collected about it. I can't add much to what's been said other than to echo asking them to sit down and talk you through it - you've had plenty of conflicting advice, it needs to at least make sense to you and you have the right to expect them to do it. And your worry about your brother's anniversary is totally reasonable and actually unless there is an overriding reason, in your shoes I'd ask for a different day if that came up.

Trace - my two sometimes have me at the end of her tether. DD already runs rings round me, I dread to think what she'll be like at 7!

MoM - hoorah for mat leave, hope we get to see a bit more of you for while.

vag - good on you!

wg your day sounded just heavenly!

LadyT - yup, same Camden shop - half our bedroom furniture is from there! Sorry for the ills - hope for your sake its a one day wonder - you never know. BTW - tender is a goregeous looking book. Couldn't quite yet justify buying it, but Nigel Slater's books are stalwarts in this house...

Arti - hope you are feeling more relaxed after a couple of days at home with your girls. Really interested in the reading stuff. DD is starting to spell out words and wondering what to do with that. No point really pushing it, but she is also really proud of herself when she can do it.

Jolly: that really is shoddy treatment. As Vag says, ultimately it's your decision and you need to be confident it's the right one.

For those not on FB, Spot and mini Spot were preparing to go home yesterday :).

Jolly sounds like you've had a ton of info thrown at you, can you take DH next week? So you've got back up to make sure you get all the answers. As your midwife sounds a bit bemused too, could she also have a chat with your consultant too? She might be better at explaining the situation than that registrar

Welcome back Mom! I was worrying you'd already had bub and we hadn't heard. As you joined us after DS was born, I've just realised we've not had your birth story - I assume CS from your VBAC comment. Can you share it? I love a birth story

Hope the illnesses and hangovers have passed LadyT, Deids and Vag

DD insisted on going back in her cot last night. It was my fault, she was messing so I said 'if you're not a good girl you'll have to sleep in your cot again, not your big girls bed', and she thought it was a great idea and insisted and threw such a tantrum about the bed. She was shattered after nursery, so we put her in the cot so she could sleep. She fell out of bed for the first time on Thursday night, so I don't know if it was something to do with that, although it didn't bother her at the time. I a bit concerned what bedtime will bring tonight, I suspect we've taken a big step back. Ho hum

ZJ its just a place to sleep, its not that bad to do one or the other. You know she can sleep a full night in the big bed and that is the main thing. The unfortunate thing is you can't use it as a threat! [Grin]. We've managed to successfully instigate the count as a discipline measure, I usual get to no.2 only and he responds. It's amazing how gullible kids can be.

I'm such a wally, DH and I were making great inroads into finishing off the packing today. I was cleaning the coffee machine ready to pack away (its ok we are leaving the cafetiere out) when kind of flipped over the tray bit in my hand and manages to slam it onto the base of my little finger. The metal of the tray is quite thin so has sliced right through the skin and quite deep. I held it for 15 mins but it didn't stop bleeding. so I managed to instruct DH on how to apply a pressure bandage and he is out with DS1 at swimming now and is going to get me some steri strips at the pharmacy.

Jolly I somehow missed your post yesterday when I was trying to catch up. You poor woman having this stress late in pregnancy. Great advice from others who have delivered early. I hope you feel okay and that you get some more information very soon.

ZJ Yes, c-section last time because DS was breech. I got all geared up to try for a vaginal breech delivery but went 10 days overdue and they weren't happy to wait any longer so section. I hated it, my recovery was really bad and I am really hoping for a VBAC this time - or at least a shot at it! So far, so good. Baby is head down and 2/5 in pelvis as of yesterday. Getting some twinges in my c-section scar, but apparently that is normal.

Veg Your finger wound sounds nasty! Hope bleeding has slowed.

Off for a nap while DS kips. My sleep at night has been shocking. Generally awake from about 1:30 - 5:00 with lots of action from DC in utero and aches and pains. Luckily DH has been taking DS when he wakes at 6:00!

Ouch Vag, that sounds really painful. Your coffee machine must be sensing competition from the cafetiere. DD has got a paper cut today, I hope you're braver than her? She's being a real drama princess and saying 'ooo' and 'ow' every other minute.

mom that is very good news no 2 is ina good position. Keep bouncing!

Yay have arrived in our cosy cottage in Scotland.
Vag ouch to the finger. Hope the bleeding has stopped.
ZJ don't worry about the bed. She adjusted so well I'm sure she'll sleep in it tonight no prob.
Spot if your lurking hope last night went ok at home.

Right will post now as on phone and I might lose my post.

This bloody finger is so annoying. The cut is right on the knuckle so even the slightest bend opens it again. I took the boys to a birthday party of one of DS2's little friends. It was quite an active one at a kids gym so it started bleeding a little under the bandage then I went to put DS2's shoes on and it completely opened up. Very embarrassing. A friend sorted the boys out and I got some bits from the gyms first aide kit. When I got home I sent DH out again for supplies (the first time the pharmacy didn't give him what I asked for) and I now have a cleanly steristripped finger on a dramatically bandaged hand.

Mom fingers crossed for the vbac, and very brave of you to want to have a breech vaginally. I know a few midwives who are all for it, but not many are in general. I'm not sure about doctors.

We got loads of packing done today and are going to IKEA tomorrow for lunch and a little look at a few bits including the bed we are looking at for the boys. Then after we pick up the first cat, Quincy, or should I refer to her at DF1?

Oh enjoy Scotland DB.

vag Hope the arrival of DF1 goes smoothly! Did you get any good tips from wider MN about introducing DF1 and DF2?! Oh and ouch to the finger. Are you sure it doesn't need proper stitches?

ZJ I wouldn't stress about the bed. I'm sure it was just a one off. It is great that you have enough room so that she can switch between them for a bit. We tried once to remove the sides from DD's cotbed and she went beserk (sp?). We haven't tried again , which is silly considering if we moved DD to a bed we wouldn't need to buy another cot!

DB Hope you have a fab time. Whereabouts are you? DH wants to go to Scotland for our hols this year.

mom Your first birth sounds rough. My c-section scar has started to feel a bit prickly, must be all the stretching. Have you started the raspberry leaf tea? I overheard the midwife on the day unit recommending it the other day.

effie Thanks so much for the spot update. That's great news .

invisible Spelling out words is impressive, your DD is right to be proud of herself.

Thanks once again everyone for being so nice. I've been trying to buck up my ideas today and not feel so doom and gloom about it all. zoe That's a good idea about the midwife. My consultant sometimes comes to see me on the day unit so if he does this week I'll ask her to sit in.