Dec 08 Mums - Snot Beards, Farty Boos and Willy Milk (not how it sounds!) - let the fun continue!

[Beans33]

Here we are x

Oh and Trace when do the valuers come around.

Hi,
vag we have one agent coming tomorrow and another on Friday. Tis exciting, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much as ours could take forever to sell. You 'disappointing' gym sesh was far greater than my best ever effort at being fit I so admire your get-up-and-go Vag.
Glad your mini-meet went well - any photos on here or are they just on FB?
Thinking of superspot - hope you are ok. Big hug for you.
Invis how is MIL? Are your parents quite near to you?
Well I'm pooped so must go to bed. DH was told on Friday that he is being OFSTEDed on Thurs and Fri this week, so he is really worried and working loads. I feel so bad because he's taking quite a lot of the 'load' of parenting at the mo, what with me being rather rubbish, so this week I really need to pull myself together and run the house this week. SO I'll start with a (hopefully) good night's sleep.
Sorry for lack of personals, see you tomorrow x

Trace - I forgot to say that the house you are considering looks v spacious. I'm glad it's giving you something positive to focus on. Are you feeling any different after a couple of weeks off? I do hope so. x

LadyT - I feel similarly split about ever having number three. I have different reasons but while, like you, I love the idea of another bubba I think the cons and the risks are too many. I am going to leave it a couple of years and see how I feel. Is Sharm looking pretty safe now?

Invis - Sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. What a worry for your DH and for you. Re schools I am with you on not knowing what to think re free schools. The embarrassing thing is that I feel like that yet I am on the Steering Group establishing a (secondary) free school in my neighbourhood. The more I think about it the less I like the philosophy BUT I do think some good schools will emerge. It sounds like your local Free School has attracted some ambitious people which probably bodes well for it. Is Jonathan Finger hut involved do you know? He set up an amazing secondary Free School in N London. He came to talk to our group once and I thought he would probably be a good man to have involved. Sadly our project is led by the world's most unpleasant right wing journo who wants all the glory to himself so Mr Fing erghut (spaces inserted to thwart google) was never invited back.

Quick question to all of you who have recently gone for the big bed. Where did you get them from? I need too single beds for the DDs after we move but all the ones I like are really expensive. I just want a simple white wooden frame that looks well made but doesn't cost £500 before I even consider the mattress. I looked at IKEA online but the only White wood they had included carved sheep on the bed head and I wanted plain.

In other news I think DD2 is potty trained! No nappies and no accidents for four days. She did however soak DH's short in urine while we were out this afternoon. He put her on the loo at the pub and somehow angled her so the wee arched out of front bottom, over the toilet seat and down his front as he crouched by her. Hilarious (for me).

Avo, is the journo in question TY? I have met him a couple of times. The last time I saw him he told me I looked like an actress I won't bother to name and that I seemed like an angry person. Neither of which was faintly true. Yay for DD2, that is amazing! Clever little girl.

On big beds (ZJ, how did it pan out?) I would quite like to get a bunkbed for DD1's new room. Her room is teeny though so I don't know.

Thanks all. Had a good day at my parents - DCs got fussed over and my sis came with her DD who is about 6 months old and they are starting to get interested in each other. DD was cuddling her cousin who was either kissing her or eating her face depending on who you believe. Trace - my parents do live reasonably close so we go there most weekends. Although as I don't drive, getting there under my own steam with the DCs is a little challenging.

MIL is a bit battered and bruised I think, but basically OK. She has been a bit of a worry for a while though and this brings it to a head a bit. She has always had occasional trouble with her legs, but in the last year or so has increasingly stopped going out, taking to her bed from time to time, etc etc. People have been quite worried about her. DH and his sis have tried to get her to the docs and to sort things out but she keeps stonewalling so we don't actually know what the issue is. This is not the first fall in the last couple of months, but much the worst. Hard - PILs are nearing their 80s and live 4 hours away, but struggle with the idea of any kind of change. I guess not unusual, but no easier for that. Anyway, DH is up there till tomorrow. DS especially is missing him - he insisted on cuddling the phone when DH called to sayh goodnight.

Trace - have a good week and good luck with the valuatiosn. Don't feel bad about what you can or can't do right now.

Arti - well done to DD! Don't know that the person you mention is involved in the school round here. I expect the school will turn out well from all I can see. I find the trend to faith schools disappointing - I went to a school with people from quite mixed backgrounds and many of the schools round here are the same. But you can expect the faith schools to suck out all the children who would otherwise be part of the normal mixed environment, so if DCs go there, it is less likely there will be others of our faith - which would be a shame. I love DDs faith nursery - but it is quite a narrow little world despite their best efforts.

LadyT - I have to say, VDay completely passes me by. The only thing that might change that is DD's views on the proper way to do things (and goodness knows where she picks those up from?)

Hooray if potty trained, I always like a success story, avo. The accidental wetting of DH though.

How bizarre Lady, you have such a calm demeanor, obviously has funny issues, this man hope he's not the same Journo.

I am weighing in on the big bed talk, though DS2 hasn't exactly been cot bound. When we move we want to get a bedroom system for the boys. We were thinking of double bunks, but as the room is small and the boys wanted to sleep in a bed together (DS1 has requested this and DS2 seems for it). We were thinking of getting a double loft bed. DH and I got all excited about it, as it would allow them more floor space. Then today it suddenly occurred to me that I would be putting a 2 year old in a bed about 2 meters of the ground. A little mental, isn't it?

Trace, I'm quite excited about your valuations, will be willing them to be a good price. Sorry for your DH, those things are harsh. Is that unusually late notice?

hello lovely ladies
wow - potty training. DD has had a bit of a go. She also has started to kiss me of her own free will which I am stupidly pleased about. honestly, desperate my friend said the other day she thought girls were like cats and boys like dogs. resonated for me although am sure there are v affectionate little girls out there - just always on DD's own terms...whereas DS is like a labrador. He's not been well this last week and am a bit worried about him - is odd sort of virus I think and he's very pale. Doesn't seem to be improving much.

Anyway. Went to see my sister today. She's being amazing. Am so proud of her - she's being really strong and rational and practical and always remembering that her twat of a husband is her kids' father and so she doesn't want to spend her whole life slagging him off and being bitter. She's a rockstar. Wish I could fix it for her though. She looked so sad and little at the train station. she has lost weight and is looking super beautiful though (she's not drinking and is eating properly) which is a nice revenge.

Night all. Feel so unprepared for the week. Also one of those times where there's lots of darkness around so am hoping to go through next few weeks without more bad news. Shakes my usually unfailing optimism about life.

LadyT about valentines day for you. Hope your gifts are cheering.

Just heading to bed and saw AVO/ARTi post about beds. We got DS1 proper single bed from Warren Evans. As far as I remember they do a lovely whitewash single bed.

Seriously, dear Urbane, don't worry about me and VD It was a magical day for a few years of my life and now it's just, well, a bit of daftness and I am happy to jolly along with it. DP is not a fan of such things himself, so it's thoughtful of him to bother marking it in any way, and I am touched. Glad you've been to see your sis, she sounds stupendously dignified. What a tool her DH is. Don't lose your mojo. Spring is coming.

Good luck with the valuations, Trace.

Vag, do you mean you'd have DS2 in the top bunk? How funny that your DS1 is dead keen and your DS2 is more reticent

Invis, that's a good point about faith schools. I fully understand why people want them - my primary school was a church school, and it was lovely - but without sounding too right on, it is a problem, I feel, when there aren't any kids of x or y religion at a school cos they've been siphoned off by a faith school. It's a tough one, though. In these fractured times, I do worry how tolerance can be learned, if people aren't coming into contact with the whole spectrum. That said, my own girls' school experiences look as if they will probably be quite narrow in that regard. Hmmm.

Where's DB? I think she's been gallivanting!

Been watching the Baftas. C. Firth is much like V. Beckham - when they smile you just think: eh? Completely different person.

Yes, but I'd rather run into Mr Firth emerging from a lake in a fetching white shirt than ms Beckham.

Happy Valentine day, DH got me a nice little scrambled egg breakfast and the boys bought me a new Pandora charm. I feel bad as I'm just not really into valentines day, never really have been, but DH is and now DS1 is all for it. He asked me this morning what I'm getting him for VD and would I be decorating the house!?!? I felt terrible so I'll pop out today and get the boys a card, and some red balloons. That should do the trick.

Urbs, I'm sad to hear DS1 is unwell, poor little man.

Avo, I meant to say the wetting of your DH was funny, instead I just kind of made a statement. Really should preview my posts.

LadyT - yes it is TY. A most disagreeable little man. He would probably be happy to hear me describing him so as he seems intent on being a charicature of objectionableness. It's not just a public act either. We meet at his house and his wife is on the group too. The other night the meeting was still running at past 11pm and his wife said she was exhausted and going to bed and she asked TY if he would do some "baby whispering" when their youngest woke. In front of the whole group TY sneered at her and said "oh of course, I have three articles to write, an interview to prepare for and a school to establish... I've clearly got spare time and energy to jiggle a baby while you sleep". Bastard.

VD is so far off our radar that neither DH or I remembered to mention it this morning. Maybe tonight I will make an effort to turn the tv off while we eat. Ha, ha who am I kidding? Does anyone else find themselves so tired every evening that once the kids are asleep and the dinner cooked they are incapable of holding an adult conversation and can only read or watch tv? I feel sorry for DH that I have so little umph in the evenings.

LadyT - yes it is TY. A most disagreeable little man. He would probably be happy to hear me describing him so as he seems intent on being a charicature of objectionableness. It's not just a public act either. We meet at his house and his wife is on the group too. The other night the meeting was still running at past 11pm and his wife said she was exhausted and going to bed and she asked TY if he would do some "baby whispering" when their youngest woke. In front of the whole group TY sneered at her and said "oh of course, I have three articles to write, an interview to prepare for and a school to establish... I've clearly got spare time and energy to jiggle a baby while you sleep". Bastard.

VD is so far off our radar that neither DH or I remembered to mention it this morning. Maybe tonight I will make an effort to turn the tv off while we eat. Ha, ha who am I kidding? Does anyone else find themselves so tired every evening that once the kids are asleep and the dinner cooked they are incapable of holding an adult conversation and can only read or watch tv? I feel sorry for DH that I have so little umph in the evenings.

Arti ty sounds like a knobend. Which is my insult de jour. So dh bought me a beautiful paperweight and a heart shaped brioche. He's such a lovely man. And obv am only saying that because he buys me things.[shallow emoticon]
house looks lovely trace. And give yourself time. .
Veggie those loft beds are great - a they usually have quite a robust surround bit. V cute the idea of them sharing a bed. Good days all

Our big bed is from Warren Evans. They are fantastic and their beds are SO comfy. here they are

I always think how much time we spend in bed, it's worth spending a bit more. But ours is superking and still cost less than my normal double from John Lewis. Including the mattress!

DD1 is just in a normal single and she hasn't fallen out yet, so Veg, I think DS2 would probably be ok.

DH left me an enormous card this morning and some chocs from Hotel du Chocolat. YUMMY! I just gave him a little card. Oops. Will cook a nice supper.

I had a lovely day off yesterday. Did a normal morning, so didn't get a lie in. Boo. Then helped while DH took the girls swimming, then headed off to Kings Rd. Bought some make up and 2 new bras and some new boring pants. Then had a lovely indulgent lunch of roast beef and all the trimmings and a large glass of vino, then a coffee. Lovely! Home by 5 and didn't realy lift a finger. Bliss!

Where is everyone??!

Ah hubris thy name is Jumpjockey... have said to ZJ that gobag meant dd1 stays in her bedroom, who should pootle in at 7am yesterday morning looking a bit confused? Still, not as spooky as when DH went to wake her from her nap yesterday, apparently she was just sat in the chair next to her bed eyes wide open staring towards the bedroom door

beds - she's in a [spit] mothercare cot bed that we took the sides off. Will have to cough up again later when she needs a full size one but who knows, maybe we'll put the girls in bunks together?

avo that man sounds like a total tit. As does your BIL urbane, your poor sister.

Am finding the faith schools discussion interesting - my village primary was effectively C of E (in the sense of the branch English people usually default to...) since there were no kids of other faiths, apart from one Jewish girl and two Muslim children who had been adopted. It was your typical WASP village really.

Am about to make DH some cookies for valentines - had meant to get him a pressie but then never managed to get a moment in town so figure food will be the answer :) though teh recipe is one of those really annoying ones where Step 1 is Put the oven on at 180, then Step 4 says Leave the dough to rest for at least an hour. What, with the oven blasting away? [grr]

trace that house you linked to looks wonderful, the views from the upstairs rooms are spectacular and just to say, you're not being rubbish at all, if your doc has told you to take it easy then follow medical advice!

The whole 2 kids thing - it's ok so far on my first day without DH but that's because DD2's been sleeping pretty well - 2 hours this morning, woke up to guzzle and have a bit of a look round, back to sleep now! Am about to go to BF drop in and ask about the 5 min feeding, plus it's a friend who runs it so that's bonus. Tricky part will come later on, I have to get DD1 from nursery which is a 45 min walk each way*, and then do bath and bed on my own (DH's extended hours surgery) - there may be more Maisy Mouse than planned to keep her busy... Fingers crossed the photos of the family will have made today better at nursery.

• Veg you have a bakfiets don't you? Am pondering getting one so I can cycle to and fro with DD2 while she's little, in a car seat next to DD1's feet. Bloody expensive, but as someone else I know who has one has commented, cheaper than buying another car...

Hello everyone,

arti What a horrible thing to say. He obviously puts his horrible opinions into practice. I pity Mrs TY. Love the weeing story! And wow to potty training already!

veggie I was in a bunk bed from being about 3. I can remember falling out a few times but did love it! Could you get the sort of bunk bed that can be split in two so they can start off seperately and then be bunked up when DS2 is a bit older?

trace Hope Mr TF's Ofstead inspection goes ok. You don't need additional stress like that at the moment though. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be superwoman this week.

invis Hope everything gets resolved re your MIL. It must be very hard.

zoe Hope the big bed move went well for the rest of the night!

spot The crying sounds very distressing. Pushing the medics for answers is certainly the right thing to do. Unless B is comfortable I don't see how they can send you home. Glad to hear T is on the mend.

urbane Your sister sounds like a wonderful, gracious person. Hope DS perks up. There are lots of bugs round at the moment.

I'm starting to get myself a bit more organised for DC2. I sorted all DD's old newborn stuff into neutral and pink piles yesterday! With DD we had a bushbaby carrier, a structured one like a babyborn. I used it loads just around the house and found it a tat bulky, so thought perhaps a soft sling or wrap one might be better. Can anyone recommend what sort to go for?

JJ I don't have a bakfiets I just have bike seats and a trailer. We would have gotten one if we didn't already have the trailer and DS2 were younger. They are quite heavy and difficult on hills as you can't stand up on them to pedal harder (obviously not a problem here), but all the girls I know who have them love them. Can you give a couple of different styles a test drive to see which you prefer?

Jb they actually want to sleep in together in the same bed. The loft double beds are much higher than normal bunk beds so that's why I'm worried. It would help the small floor space problem though.

Really had a horrid afternoon. We live on a one way street and lots of people try to get out of going around the proper way to get onto our street by reversing up.the street. It annoys me as the boys sometimes run out on the street if they don't see someone comings the tight way and I'm worried someone will suddenly reverse up one day and also its just bloody wrong, and its always people who don't actually live on our street. Anyway, a car did it today while I was getting DS2 into the car. He's got quite stubborn independent and likes to climb in himself and climb into his carseat. Anyway, a car started reversing in at a steep angle which meant I had to rush him into the car (que grumpy DS2), I gave the driver a head shake and a frown then started sorting DS2 into his carseat straps. Next thing I know a women has come up beside me carrying on at me in dutch, so I said sorry I didn't understand her, so she switched to English and asked me what my problem was, why was I shaking my head ay her. I said, that its a one way street and its a bit dangerous to reverse up like that, I then asked her very calmly if the street that turned into this one was obstructed. I've noticed that if it is the one way changes so you can actuality turn into out street going that way. I thought if there was an obstruction like a delivery truck or something I could tell her that she child have come in forwards. However, I could get a word in as she suddenly started screaming at me telling me I was a bitch. She was I think in her 20's and next thing her mum or at least an older women turned up next to her and started screaming at me too. I asked them to stop as Jordi was in the car and could see all this and that basically its a one way street so be careful. Then they started walking away (backwards ironically) screaming that I was a fucking birch a giving me the finger. By now I was get quite angry and upset and told them they were really horrible and surely screaming abuse for no reason was more offensive than some shaking their head at bad driving. They just continued telling me to "shut up fucking bitch" and giving me the finger. I finally shouted (they were well away from me at this stage ) that she must be very proud to have such an ugly, horrible daughter (I know crap but I was so shocked it was the best I could come up with). I was so shocked I was shaking. I had to pick DS1 up from school and then get him to violin lessons. On the way to the lesson I had to turn left on large intersection so waited my turn in the middle of the very large intersection, as I waited the nose of my car was fractionally on the other side of the road and a car coming the other way, who hadn't even had to swerve because the intersection is so big started gesticulating at me and clearing yelling abuse at me through his window. That was it, I lose it and burst into tears, saying I hate this country everyone is so grumpy and mean to each other. DS1 in the back chimed up with "yeah, let's go back to Derby!" Anyway I cried the whole way to violin and then managed to scratch our car parking at the parking lot. Bloody hell!!!

The boys are now having a tv dinner of meatball pasta and watching an octonauts marathon. poor DS1, I'm being so snappy with him. I need a holiday.

Oh Veg. How absolutely horrible. I totally understand how you feel and don't blame you for being so upset. God. Vile. Try not to worry about them. Clearly scary chavs. And it's not where you are. Plenty of people like that in London too. And everywhere. You do need a break. Poor you. How long til your holiday?

DD1 has high temperature and was in bed asleep just after 6. DD2 also in bed. Asleep. Having hardly slept all day. No sign of DH for Valentine's Day sexy time. Never mind. I will cope. Hee hee!

Chin up lovely Veggie xxx

Lordy, ds has been a complete nightmare rather unsettled in the last few days. Some of you have seen my FB photo - that x 10 most days I'm wondering if he has a molar coming through, or is he just 2?

I'm knackered - not from kids, but laying awake till 2am unable to sleep with mind racing about things I must do.

Vag that sounds hideous. You have done and are doing so well over there. Beans is correct, the same types are here for sure, it's just not as easy to fight your corner when you're over there so you feel vulnerable. You've adapted brilliantly though - I'd have had far more meltdowns than you seem to have had. but if you ever do want to get away, you're welcome to come and stay with us, with the boys, anytime, honestly.

I can't remember what I've read, but on beds - ds has this one which is from Mothercare, but got it for 99p on Ebay! He loves it as it's quite low. he has the gueard rail too and one side is against the wall, but he's been in it since 17 months so prob doesn't need the railing but will keep it for dd.

Lady, why do you want bunks if you aren't having a 3rd???

Val day - I can take it or leave it. I asked dh if we can not bother about cards or anything this year (I was feeling slack and I know he has a lot on and would be happy with that) so we agreed on a take away night instead. I've never been a huge fan of it to be honest. Hope you're all having a lovely one though

vag that is rubbish - what idiots. I wrote a long post on my phone that I've lost wittering on about how these things upset you (or at least upset me) more when I was at home because contrast between world of love and brutal world of people being arses can be a bit much. you are amazing - and oooh if I could give those women a piece of my mind. knobends (word still working for me).

Sister saw lawyer and it all looks as if it will be ok. At least in that aspect. wore a baggy dress to work today and 14 people asked me if I was clackered . although not having wasteband meant I could eat more cake. So upside.

Hello everyone

Am so sorry for no post. Am so tired I could cry. Just getting up early, busy at work, kids very full on. Will resume normal service shortly.

Vag, what a thoroughly unpleasant experience. Hope you are OK.

Beds - am keeping DS in a cot for as long as possible. Til he's about 6 if I can. Given that my other 2 frequently make their way into my bed, I can't bear 3 of them in here.

Val day - we don't usually bother but this year DH has drawn me a card! Have had to raid the card box for his. He is really trying to make an effort at the moment. We are getting on a bit better. Things still are not back to normal but we are at least talking and civil again, which is a start.

Huge thanks to everyone who has responded to my PM. Arti is looking into local help down south, then we can send the goodies over.

So much more I wanted to say, but am too jiggered. Back on later i hope.

Love to everyone.

vag What a horrible experience. People can be so unpleasant, angry and rude, especially when they are in the wrong. Try and do something relaxing, like have a long bath once the boys are in bed. Don't let them get to you.

sybs Sounds like you need a long relaxing bath and an early night too.

Thanks lovely ladies, yeah Urbs, this sort if thing does upset me, and I keep thinking about it. Anyway, I've decides to think loving kindness for them, maybe the universe will alter their cranky chavness. And I know there is weird agroness everywhere, I remember first getting to London and finding everyone so grumpy and affrontive (is that even a word).

DH is on his way home but wont be home until nearly 11. I think I need a cup of tea.

Vag: sorry you ran up against such cows.

Watching One Born Every Minute - won argument w DH who wanted Rebus. Good stuff.