November 09, new skills are fun - look what I can do now, Mum!

[DontWorryBaby]

New thread for our little handfuls!

He does a lot of work after Ethan is in bed, especially as he currently teaches 28 out of 30 periods and the max is supposed to be 25! But we agreed we'd rather he did that than leaving Ethan until 5 ish. If Rosa goes to bed early (Ethan is usually in bed for 7) then you'd have the time in the evenings, it's just a question of what else you could be doing in that time that you might be sacrificing. Means I do more of the housework I suppose, but DH does most of the cooking. How helpful is your husband with housework? Definitely need to have all hands on deck.

MsI Whilst I do 4 days a week now, this is the first time I've ever dropped down from full time, so the other two dc's never had me at home more than at the weekend. I have never had family nearby so they've always been in childcare.
I have to say I think they've all benefitted from it. They get much more 'entertaining' at nursery/childminder than they would at home with me, as they are solely focussed on the children - by this I mean they're not putting out the washing/hoovering/shopping etc.
This time around I was fortunate to do 3 days a week for 6 months and now 4. Financially I could have squeezed it at 3 days but to be honest I didn't feel I was doing either job properly. 4 days a week gives me a good block to get my work done, and my day off is then spent a little more focussed. As the DS's go to DH for a day at the weekend, I only get 2 days just like FT working mums.
I think that it depends on what you feel - for me (and this is only my opinion!) working is very important and gives me a strong sense of self. I have done well in my career and have worked hard to get there. I could never stay at home FT even if money wasn't an issue.

As has been pointed out before, you can work around the hours - could DH take Rosa every morning and you get to school for 7:30 so you could leave at 4 having done your prep? You will also get holiday time which isn't a small amount which will give you chance to focus on Rosa again and feel like you're spending time. Time with children needs to be quality, not quantity - and more importantly, it needs to be with a happy and fulfilled Mummy. For mine, that means I go to work, feel good about myself and then am nice to them!!

As for nurseries and long days - they love it and adapt much quicker than Mummies! They have meals with their friends and lots of activities, and really from 18 months onwards they will crave more and more stimulation so it's a win-win situation really.

Well, enough of my opinions!!

Well said scarlotti. And I will sponsor you before you go, just never seem to be on a pc except at work! I completely agree though, I couldn't be a full time mum and do a good job of it so I'm hoping 3 days a week will be a good balance for me and our family come Jan 2012.

Couldn't agree more wrt nurseries - I find Lucy gets so much more stimulation and variety than I could ever provide at home.

My work situation is far from ideal at the moment, but I am looking towards the future to sort it out after my next mat leave. It probably has to do with what Scarlotti said, I just don't feel stretched enough at the office to spend four days here. Basically I'm a bit bored here. I much prefer the bookkeeping work I do at home and my aim is to increase that to a point when I can leave. But with all the time tied up in Oxford, Lucy and this second baby coming, I know I will not give it my full attention, so do not want to get more clients just to find I cannot cope. It is very frustrating at the moment, I spent all day working at home yesterday thinking this work is so much more satisfying and also feeling guilty for not spending the time with Lucy and DH.

MsI I hope you find a good balance.

Scarlotti, I hope I'm not too late in wishing you a fantastic adventure.

Just popping on briefly to say Harry Theo was born on Tuesday at 10:37pm - he is gorgeous, I am totally in love. The birth was so much easier than first time round (although I probably wasn't saying that at the time!) 'Recorded' labour time was 1hr 17 although there was a bit of build up prior to that. He cried when only the head was out which was such a contrast to the drama of S being whisked off and resuscitated, I was so relieved. He's much more chilled out, and feeding has been easy. It's just hard managing S and H at the same time - we are v vlucky to have my parents on hand.

Sorry for the me me me post. DWB and MsI I sympathise re the work thing, I am in a quandry as to what to do when H is a bit bigger. At the minute though I am hpefully going to enjoy being a FT mummy.

Scarlotti I am thinking of you!!

Hope everyone else is well, and getting more sleep than me

Congratulations Katster. Had to look at FB for photos and he looks such a cutie. Glad things went well for you. Enjoy!

Congratulations Katster!! (already put in on FB but thought id put it here too!) He's lovely, well done!

scarlotti and DWB thank you so much again for your wise words. I feel just the same as you scarlotti with regard to my job giving me a real sense of self and I also personally would not want to be home FT. That much I know as I was very ready to start work when Rosa was 9 mths. Whether I want to be at work FT I am still not 100% sure but... I have decided to apply for the full time job and I feel that I do really want to get it and will have a very good go at making it successful and if that doesn't work out then...I will deal with that bridge when I come to it. DWB working at home in the evening has been a part of my life as a teacher forever but that was including staying late at school before I had Rosa. Must prioritise, must prioritise!

I know I am really lucky to have a fab DH who is very supportive and committed and involved with homelife and Rosa. We are definitely 50/50 partners. And if working full time can't work with that then I guess it means there is something in me that is not happy about it. We'll see! I will keep you posted on the outcome of this job application...

Congratulations katster! Harry is gorgeous, just like his brother!

skorpion sorry to hear you having similar work-related woes. How many days do you commute into Oxford? Do you drive? And how is your pregnancy coming along?! Do you feel ok? How many weeks now?

MsI, thanks. I am in Oxford for four days a week, with a workload to fill three, at a stretch. So that is why it feels like a waste of time. Yes, I drive, but am just about to get a trailer for Lucy to attach to my bike and start using the Park and Ride. Expecially as they are about to start major roadworks where the office is (70 weeks!!!). It makes for four very long days and we don't really get much time in the evenings to spend playing with Lucy. I feel I am ready for a major change in my work life, but have to put it on hold for a little while until baby number two is a few months old. The plan is to find a childminder or a nursery for two to three days a week to allow me to work at home.

Pregnancy is going very well, coming up to 14 weeks now. I still can't quite believe it and often wonder if the shock of a second child is going to be as big as the first. Still going from 'can't wait!' to 'oh, no, what have we done!'. But mostly very excited.

Good luck with your application, it sounds like the right thing for you. And the support you have in DH and IL should make it easier as well. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

katster, congratulations! I war really waiting for those news and I am very happy for you that things have been so easy so far.

MsI, good luck with your application. It really sounds as if this is what you wanted and I am sure you and your husband can make it work.

Thanks to all those who answered my questions about liquid intake and skincare.

Not much to report from here. It is finally warm and sometimes sunny, so even if Paula is grumpy because of a cold, life seems very good to me. :)
I hope everybody can enjoy spring!

I may have spoken too soon! Hada couple of horrific nights with s teething, waking 6 times and h colicky and needing to be rocked,all night = absolutely zero sleep
And now I am bleeding , a lot. MW coming friday so hopefully can hang on til then. Both sleeping now tho, so just having coffee,early lunch and MN catch up!
Skorpion can't believe 14weeks already!Other people's pregnancies go much quicker than mine
Usi how many weeks are you now? And DWB?
Our double pushchair is coming tomorrow, v exciting!Right, S stirring so best go and prepare for chaos!

Oh no Katster, thats not good. Hope the bleeding stops soon. Have you had it checked out? also hope that you manage to get some sleep tonightx

Katster Are you not still at your mum's? or MIL's? As soon as someone comes home tonight, hand over your boys and get to bed! No excuses!

You should maybe, or maybe not, look back at our earlier posts from Nov 09 and see how quickly things improved for us? I'm a bit concerned as Ethan has had very few difficult nights but only has 7 teeth and if the back teeth cause more problems I'd rather that happens before his little brother arrives than after. I'm 31 weeks now, due on 24th May. Definitely much slower and bigger and more issues with sciatica/spd etc than first time around. But also doing so much more with work and a one year old at home. Not long left. Taking heart from your recorded labour time and hoping it will be easier with this one, although the fifth-time mother on OBEM this week didn't give me much hope!

Congratulations Katster, lovely name too (my ds is Harry too!) Hope you've had a chance to rest, I think bleeding can increase if you overdo things so make sure you rest when you can, although I know that's easier said than done!

Just a quick pop in as on my way to heathens for my trek!!

katster huge congrats and hope the bleeding eases. It does get heavier with each pregnancy, and lots of moving around chasing toddlers doesn't help. Hope you get some sleep soon.

Back in about 10 days so will look forward to catching up on all your news then

katster, you really have my sympathy. A newborn and a teething toddler is not a good combination. Periods should only come back once all the teeth are out.
I hope the bleeding has stopped or is just the usual amount. And don't forget, you have to bleed enough. I read somewhere about how dangerous it can be when not all the blood gets out. I hope your midwife can reassure you.
Oh, and I am 16 weeks, due at the beginning of september. So far I'm fine but I am getting really ugly varicose veins. I'm not looking forward to wearing dresses in summer. Or maybe the rest of the world is not looking forward to that

scarlotti, good luck, we will all be thinking of you

Good luck scarlotti! Did you mean Heath-ers? As in Heathrow? That's what I call it! Mind you, I nickname everything, not always shortening. e.g. RooRoo for Rosa!

Lovely to hear from you katster. Sorry you hit a rough couple of days. Hope the midwife tomorrow is reassuring.

I emailed my job application today so fingers crossed...

Hello everyone :) At DPs so just wanted to pop by and say hello.

Congrats Katster, he really is so lovely!

Scarlotti hope you have a lovely time :)

Hope all you pregnancy ladies are doing well, will catch up properly tomorrow hopefully.

Congratulations Kaster! What gorgeous boys you have. Hope you are having a better day and some more sleep.

Scarlotti I'm late with wishing you luck. Hope you have a great trip! Looking forward to hearing your story when you get back.

Hope all the pregnant ladies are doing well. DWB Sorry the sciatica isn't getting any better. Are you getting any treatment?

I've been awol as I've had a sick household yet again. This time we've all had tummy bugs. Have felt dreadful all week. My boys are just getting back to normal and eating a bit more. Since DS1 started school we've been nothing but ill. I hope this is the end of it for a while.

The weather has been glorious today. We were at the park after school and had a picnic. C passed out as soon as we got home. I'm hoping the fresh air will do his sleep some good tonight. Teething has been terrible today.

sirboob, I had already been wondering where you were. How are you?
As well as all those who seem to have disappeared? Pavlov, for example?

fruit, I really hope the sickness will be over now for a good time.

Congrats katster!! Thanks for taking the time to update us. You must really have your hands full now.

Good to hear from you too sirboob :) Hope you're doing well.

Fruit Not more illness :( You've had far more than your fair share.

MsI best of luck with the job application!

Also wondering how Pav is doing! Hello, Pav, you know you can't bear to be away from us for so long

We've completely weaned here now, and I'm looking into part time childcare (courtesy of my mum, bless her) so I can get some work done at home a few days a week. Took me weeks to start looking for a carer, partly because I've been busy and partly because I can't imagine spending so much time away from DD. Long-term unemployment is depressing, but I've really been spoiled as far as time with my LO is concerned.

Next week we're off to Chicago for BIL's wedding, should be hectic but fun.

Fruit hope everyone is feeling a bit better now, its horrible when everyone is ill.

Sirboob good to hear from you.

Longway Well done with the weaning, my DD is eating three proper meals a day now, but still wants the occasional bottle which I am happy for her to have at the moment but am gradually get rid of in the next few weeks. Hope you have fun at your BIL's wedding :-) I love weddings, they're great.

Hi everyone. Well I applied for the job and got an interview for Monday so we'll see...

Everything else here hectic as usual. Don't know how I think I can cope with FT work!

How's the recovery at yours fruit?

Hope you're enjoying the wedding longway

Lurking again...

Ninja and SirBoob, nice of you to drop in. Hope you're both well. How are the wedding preps, Ninja?

Longway, I love weddings! We're running out of mates to marry off though, rapidly. Shame, as I kind of hoped to take Lucy to a few...

MsI hope it goes well on Monday. And remember, it is still a long time before you'd start (September, isn't it, or did I get it completely wrong...?), so lots of time to set things into new routines and get ready. Good luck!

Fruit, goodness me, this is enough now, surely. Hope all are on the mend.

Ursi, sorry to hear about the veins. I am at the 'not feeling pg whatsoever stage', feels weird. Can't wait to feel the little tick, well, tick :)

All OK in skorpion household. Lucy has entered another stage, at least I hope it is a stage. I think she gets tired in the evenings after nursery, and I think she misses me. Basically we get a screamathon, won't be put down, won't let me leave her for a minute, DH is not good enough, she wants mama. Poor thing, she looks so desparate sometimes... But she's good fun normally.

Still tired, sleeping more but I have the pg dreams, vivid ones that stay with me, and i don't really wake up rested. Ah well, 'tis the weekend.

All the best!

MsI, good luck with the interview. Go and get that job!

skorpion, I'm sure it is just a stage. Do you think she could still suffer from the time change?

Actually the veins aren't my main concern anymore. I feel fine in general (just realising that my back is hurting after having been out for 2 or 3 hours) but I got the results from my blood tests (I do not remember if I had mentioned that they needed another sample due to unspecified antibodies.
Well it turns out that I have a really unusual bloodtype (and I mean really unusual - apparently there wouldn't be blood available if I needed a transfusion, nothing I'm planning to have anyway). Actually the midwife couldn't explain to me what the problem is (went to the GP afterwards who still couldn't). She just said, it can't be a serious problem otherwise I would have been contacted by the consultant who got that paper too . But I will have the next appointment with him, which will be in 10 weeks.
So apparently it is ok if a pregnant woman stresses for 10 weeks about her and her baby's health without knowing ANYTHING. I'm just glad that they give us a list of things what we are not supposed to eat or drink. Ok, sorry for the rant, back to topic.
So, I have done some research and one of DH's friends is actually a doctor so he could give us some information as well:
There are much more blood types than just the AB0 and Rh+/-. So for example there is a Lutheran group with Lua and Lub. And I am Lub- which is the incredibly rare one. Apparently I have at some point built some antibodies (as I suppose to Lub+). I guess through the first pregnancy. So it is similar to being Rh- except that there doesn't seem to be an injection. In theory, and worst case, my antibodies could now identify the babies blood as enemy and destroy the red blood cells.
But for now my level is really low and there is no risk of anything. They just want to check my blood every two weeks from 24 weeks on (to see immediately if the antibodies go up) and they will take the iron levels from the cord right after birth to see if the baby suffers from anemia.
If my levels go up they could check the baby with a scan I think and in the worst case they could even change the baby's blood through the cord before birth. (Impressive, isn't it)
So there are a lot of "what if"s but for the moment I am fine and not too worried. Luckily also I already feel the baby moving since a couple of weeks, so that is a reassuring thing in general.
I am mainly annoyed that no one could explain and isn't even thinking that I should be offered an appointment with someone who actually can.
And I am even slightly shocked that the GP wasn't able to just explain me the thing with many more blood types than just the "famous" ones. I would have thought she can read that from the paper. I do not need to know the chemical structure from the particular one just the basic information would have been great.

Sorry for the long post but I'm still struggling to tell people about the problem without the whole theory behind. And at least you might have learnt something new :)